Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeans are too casual and read low class/unprofessional.

I always wear black slacks and nice shoes to such appointments. Depending on weather, I usually wear a blouse and blazer. I essentially dress like I would for work. I carry a nice handbag as well.

Jeans are not low class, and who uses terms like slacks and handbag? My mother is literally 80 and she doesn’t talk like this. She also wears jeans (gasp).

Go read one of the countless dcum threads on what it means to be old money, upper class, polished, etc.

ICYMI: some of us were raised a certain way and use certain words. How one expresses themselves speaks volumes on many levels.

Poking fun by insinuating that I am old or uncool says more about you, pp.

Anyway, setting all this aside: if the op wants to be taken seriously, then she should dress the part. I’ve literally changed my clothes and shoes before heading to the ER. Why? Because everyone treats you differently based on your appearance. When I’m the patient advocate, I dress my best.

Nice jeans with leather flats and a blazer are fine. Tattered hem jeans and sneakers foster a power differential.

I've read many, many, many of those threads, which are risible and cringe-inducing. I do agree with you that expressing oneself well is important, which is why I know that you should use "oneself" rather than "themselves" in the bolded sentence above. I'm so embarrassed for you that you used incorrect grammar while chiding me on the importance of communicating correcty.

Look, if you like cosplaying "old money" online, go ahead, but your language belies your claims and no one is impressed by your slacks and handbag. You can stick them up your gold-plated fanny.

Let them cosplay. They gave themselves up when they associated being treated better and being taken seriously with how they dress. That told me everything I needed to know about their upbringing and social class vs what they’re saying here.

I mean, there are countless studies that back up how bias impacts healthcare (and myriad other things dependent on human interaction and service).

I’ve spent a lot of time observing others treated poorly in hospital waiting rooms, ERs, patient rooms, etc.

Because I’m bilingual (but nobody would assume that by looking at me or hearing my name), I’ve been in many situations where I’m the witness to terrible treatment. Fortunately, my day job is to advocate so I can jump in and help. And guess what? I’m always taken seriously and treated well. I think the way I dress and carry myself helps. Practically speaking, the world judges you, and power differentials exist everywhere.

Wasn’t everyone taught to put your best foot forward?

You get it.

I can see what your saying, but that has more to do with racism and ethically based biases than clothing. You can carry yourself that way in a pair of jeans. I rarely dress up; it is not required and is not typical for my work. I have never been poorly treated by a physician because I'm white (shouldn't be that way) and I'm well educated.

So, you're saying because you're white and educated you can wear whatever you want. But if you're not those things, then yeah, you better dress nicer to be taken seriously. Got it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeans are too casual and read low class/unprofessional.

I always wear black slacks and nice shoes to such appointments. Depending on weather, I usually wear a blouse and blazer. I essentially dress like I would for work. I carry a nice handbag as well.

Jeans are not low class, and who uses terms like slacks and handbag? My mother is literally 80 and she doesn’t talk like this. She also wears jeans (gasp).

Go read one of the countless dcum threads on what it means to be old money, upper class, polished, etc.

ICYMI: some of us were raised a certain way and use certain words. How one expresses themselves speaks volumes on many levels.

Poking fun by insinuating that I am old or uncool says more about you, pp.

Anyway, setting all this aside: if the op wants to be taken seriously, then she should dress the part. I’ve literally changed my clothes and shoes before heading to the ER. Why? Because everyone treats you differently based on your appearance. When I’m the patient advocate, I dress my best.

Nice jeans with leather flats and a blazer are fine. Tattered hem jeans and sneakers foster a power differential.

I've read many, many, many of those threads, which are risible and cringe-inducing. I do agree with you that expressing oneself well is important, which is why I know that you should use "oneself" rather than "themselves" in the bolded sentence above. I'm so embarrassed for you that you used incorrect grammar while chiding me on the importance of communicating correcty.

Look, if you like cosplaying "old money" online, go ahead, but your language belies your claims and no one is impressed by your slacks and handbag. You can stick them up your gold-plated fanny.

Let them cosplay. They gave themselves up when they associated being treated better and being taken seriously with how they dress. That told me everything I needed to know about their upbringing and social class vs what they’re saying here.

I mean, there are countless studies that back up how bias impacts healthcare (and myriad other things dependent on human interaction and service).

I’ve spent a lot of time observing others treated poorly in hospital waiting rooms, ERs, patient rooms, etc.

Because I’m bilingual (but nobody would assume that by looking at me or hearing my name), I’ve been in many situations where I’m the witness to terrible treatment. Fortunately, my day job is to advocate so I can jump in and help. And guess what? I’m always taken seriously and treated well. I think the way I dress and carry myself helps. Practically speaking, the world judges you, and power differentials exist everywhere.

Wasn’t everyone taught to put your best foot forward?

You're coming at this situation from the mindset that there's a power differential (not in your favor) between you and whoever you are dealing with. I don't assume that. I'm the equal of any doctor, teacher, etc. that I meet. Not better, just equal. So I'm not worried about making a good impression with my clothes. I'm well-educated and well-spoken, and am always treated with respect. I don't need to wear a tasteful pantsuit and low-heeled pumps and carry a "handbag."

I agree with this post. Some of you are old fashioned and not in a good way. Such phony BS. If someone looks down on me for wearing a nice pair of jeans with a blazer, and that actually matters to them over how I conduct myself and what I say? Get over yourself. My opinion of you would go waaaaay down. Poser.

Congratulations. But OP asked about someone else's first impression of HER, not the other way around. People have been trying to give reasonable answers, for the most part. Not everyone would suggest jeans.

You do understand that many men in the year 2026 meet other business people (for the first time!) and conduct business in jeans, blazer, and sneakers, right?

And many don't. I would always suggest on the less casual end if someone isn't sure.

Btw, why did you single out men? You do understand women are in the workplace too right?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeans are too casual and read low class/unprofessional.

I always wear black slacks and nice shoes to such appointments. Depending on weather, I usually wear a blouse and blazer. I essentially dress like I would for work. I carry a nice handbag as well.

Jeans are not low class, and who uses terms like slacks and handbag? My mother is literally 80 and she doesn’t talk like this. She also wears jeans (gasp).

Go read one of the countless dcum threads on what it means to be old money, upper class, polished, etc.

ICYMI: some of us were raised a certain way and use certain words. How one expresses themselves speaks volumes on many levels.

Poking fun by insinuating that I am old or uncool says more about you, pp.

Anyway, setting all this aside: if the op wants to be taken seriously, then she should dress the part. I’ve literally changed my clothes and shoes before heading to the ER. Why? Because everyone treats you differently based on your appearance. When I’m the patient advocate, I dress my best.

Nice jeans with leather flats and a blazer are fine. Tattered hem jeans and sneakers foster a power differential.

I've read many, many, many of those threads, which are risible and cringe-inducing. I do agree with you that expressing oneself well is important, which is why I know that you should use "oneself" rather than "themselves" in the bolded sentence above. I'm so embarrassed for you that you used incorrect grammar while chiding me on the importance of communicating correcty.

Look, if you like cosplaying "old money" online, go ahead, but your language belies your claims and no one is impressed by your slacks and handbag. You can stick them up your gold-plated fanny.

Let them cosplay. They gave themselves up when they associated being treated better and being taken seriously with how they dress. That told me everything I needed to know about their upbringing and social class vs what they’re saying here.

I mean, there are countless studies that back up how bias impacts healthcare (and myriad other things dependent on human interaction and service).

I’ve spent a lot of time observing others treated poorly in hospital waiting rooms, ERs, patient rooms, etc.

Because I’m bilingual (but nobody would assume that by looking at me or hearing my name), I’ve been in many situations where I’m the witness to terrible treatment. Fortunately, my day job is to advocate so I can jump in and help. And guess what? I’m always taken seriously and treated well. I think the way I dress and carry myself helps. Practically speaking, the world judges you, and power differentials exist everywhere.

Wasn’t everyone taught to put your best foot forward?

You're coming at this situation from the mindset that there's a power differential (not in your favor) between you and whoever you are dealing with. I don't assume that. I'm the equal of any doctor, teacher, etc. that I meet. Not better, just equal. So I'm not worried about making a good impression with my clothes. I'm well-educated and well-spoken, and am always treated with respect. I don't need to wear a tasteful pantsuit and low-heeled pumps and carry a "handbag."

I agree with this post. Some of you are old fashioned and not in a good way. Such phony BS. If someone looks down on me for wearing a nice pair of jeans with a blazer, and that actually matters to them over how I conduct myself and what I say? Get over yourself. My opinion of you would go waaaaay down. Poser.

Congratulations. But OP asked about someone else's first impression of HER, not the other way around. People have been trying to give reasonable answers, for the most part. Not everyone would suggest jeans.

You do understand that many men in the year 2026 meet other business people (for the first time!) and conduct business in jeans, blazer, and sneakers, right?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeans are too casual and read low class/unprofessional.

I always wear black slacks and nice shoes to such appointments. Depending on weather, I usually wear a blouse and blazer. I essentially dress like I would for work. I carry a nice handbag as well.

Jeans are not low class, and who uses terms like slacks and handbag? My mother is literally 80 and she doesn’t talk like this. She also wears jeans (gasp).

Go read one of the countless dcum threads on what it means to be old money, upper class, polished, etc.

ICYMI: some of us were raised a certain way and use certain words. How one expresses themselves speaks volumes on many levels.

Poking fun by insinuating that I am old or uncool says more about you, pp.

Anyway, setting all this aside: if the op wants to be taken seriously, then she should dress the part. I’ve literally changed my clothes and shoes before heading to the ER. Why? Because everyone treats you differently based on your appearance. When I’m the patient advocate, I dress my best.

Nice jeans with leather flats and a blazer are fine. Tattered hem jeans and sneakers foster a power differential.

I've read many, many, many of those threads, which are risible and cringe-inducing. I do agree with you that expressing oneself well is important, which is why I know that you should use "oneself" rather than "themselves" in the bolded sentence above. I'm so embarrassed for you that you used incorrect grammar while chiding me on the importance of communicating correcty.

Look, if you like cosplaying "old money" online, go ahead, but your language belies your claims and no one is impressed by your slacks and handbag. You can stick them up your gold-plated fanny.

Let them cosplay. They gave themselves up when they associated being treated better and being taken seriously with how they dress. That told me everything I needed to know about their upbringing and social class vs what they’re saying here.

I mean, there are countless studies that back up how bias impacts healthcare (and myriad other things dependent on human interaction and service).

I’ve spent a lot of time observing others treated poorly in hospital waiting rooms, ERs, patient rooms, etc.

Because I’m bilingual (but nobody would assume that by looking at me or hearing my name), I’ve been in many situations where I’m the witness to terrible treatment. Fortunately, my day job is to advocate so I can jump in and help. And guess what? I’m always taken seriously and treated well. I think the way I dress and carry myself helps. Practically speaking, the world judges you, and power differentials exist everywhere.

Wasn’t everyone taught to put your best foot forward?

You're coming at this situation from the mindset that there's a power differential (not in your favor) between you and whoever you are dealing with. I don't assume that. I'm the equal of any doctor, teacher, etc. that I meet. Not better, just equal. So I'm not worried about making a good impression with my clothes. I'm well-educated and well-spoken, and am always treated with respect. I don't need to wear a tasteful pantsuit and low-heeled pumps and carry a "handbag."

I agree with this post. Some of you are old fashioned and not in a good way. Such phony BS. If someone looks down on me for wearing a nice pair of jeans with a blazer, and that actually matters to them over how I conduct myself and what I say? Get over yourself. My opinion of you would go waaaaay down. Poser.

Congratulations. But OP asked about someone else's first impression of HER, not the other way around. People have been trying to give reasonable answers, for the most part. Not everyone would suggest jeans.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeans are too casual and read low class/unprofessional.

I always wear black slacks and nice shoes to such appointments. Depending on weather, I usually wear a blouse and blazer. I essentially dress like I would for work. I carry a nice handbag as well.

How old are you?

Jeans are fine. They just have to be the right jeans.

Gen X

Born and raised in affluent part of dc metro area

Jeans scream casual. If you don’t want to look too casual, then you don’t wear jeans. I’ll give white or winter white jeans a pass during summer as long as paired with nice leather shoes and a blazer. And no frayed hem (obviously).

You're too young for this old lady attitude.

It has nothing to do with being old.

If you don’t realize that jeans are casual, then I’m not sure what to tell you.

Bottom line: if you don’t want to look too casual, then you don’t wear jeans. Or flip flops. Or sneakers.

And you fix your hair and do your makeup.

This is all commonsense.

The fact that you put jeans and flip flop in the same category shows you are out of touch. You can wear a skirt and look like trash. You can wear a skirt and look sharp. Same with jeans.

DP. Ok, but if the assignment is "putting my best foot forward" in a situation that has been framed as some sort of meeting between adults, I'm still not choosing jeans.

Cool. But context matters. I own tons of suits. There are plenty of occasions I need to put my best foot forward where it would be overkill to wear a suit. Heck, when you move into a new neighborhood and go to the first bbq, you put your best foot forward.

The context was "a meeting between 2 adults." It's not a social occasion. All this has already been posted.

A meeting of two adults - even a business meeting - can involve jeans. And OP can still put her best foot forward while wearing jeans. All of this has already been posted.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeans are too casual and read low class/unprofessional.

I always wear black slacks and nice shoes to such appointments. Depending on weather, I usually wear a blouse and blazer. I essentially dress like I would for work. I carry a nice handbag as well.

How old are you?

Jeans are fine. They just have to be the right jeans.

Gen X

Born and raised in affluent part of dc metro area

Jeans scream casual. If you don’t want to look too casual, then you don’t wear jeans. I’ll give white or winter white jeans a pass during summer as long as paired with nice leather shoes and a blazer. And no frayed hem (obviously).

You're too young for this old lady attitude.

It has nothing to do with being old.

If you don’t realize that jeans are casual, then I’m not sure what to tell you.

Bottom line: if you don’t want to look too casual, then you don’t wear jeans. Or flip flops. Or sneakers.

And you fix your hair and do your makeup.

This is all commonsense.

The fact that you put jeans and flip flop in the same category shows you are out of touch. You can wear a skirt and look like trash. You can wear a skirt and look sharp. Same with jeans.

DP. Ok, but if the assignment is "putting my best foot forward" in a situation that has been framed as some sort of meeting between adults, I'm still not choosing jeans.

Cool. But context matters. I own tons of suits. There are plenty of occasions I need to put my best foot forward where it would be overkill to wear a suit. Heck, when you move into a new neighborhood and go to the first bbq, you put your best foot forward.

The context was "a meeting between 2 adults." It's not a social occasion. All this has already been posted.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Blue

Black. Black is always the answer. Chic, slimming, matches everything.

Only if you’re under 40. This rule goes out the window as you age. Few older women look good in black.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP this thread took a turn! So what are you going to wear???

OP here and yes it did. I still don't know! I dug up some dark trouser jeans and random workwear tops, including a couple blazers, from the back of my closet, but don't feel good in any of it. My weight is up slightly and everything just feels a tiny bit snug and I don't feel confident in it.

The pictures people have posted are good inspo but I just don't have anything like that in my closet that will work and I don't think I want to go buy an entirely new outfit for this one appointment, it seems silly.

I might give up and wear like my nicest sweat pants, lol. Maybe I'll just make sure my hair and makeup looks extra nice. I don't know.

Target has really nice pants for ~$35 that are dupes of the ones another PP posted. I wear them all the time and regularly get compliments on them from various age groups (so they seem like a universal, tried and true look??). You could try those and pair with an existing top you own.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP this thread took a turn! So what are you going to wear???

OP here and yes it did. I still don't know! I dug up some dark trouser jeans and random workwear tops, including a couple blazers, from the back of my closet, but don't feel good in any of it. My weight is up slightly and everything just feels a tiny bit snug and I don't feel confident in it.

The pictures people have posted are good inspo but I just don't have anything like that in my closet that will work and I don't think I want to go buy an entirely new outfit for this one appointment, it seems silly.

I might give up and wear like my nicest sweat pants, lol. Maybe I'll just make sure my hair and makeup looks extra nice. I don't know.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeans are too casual and read low class/unprofessional.

I always wear black slacks and nice shoes to such appointments. Depending on weather, I usually wear a blouse and blazer. I essentially dress like I would for work. I carry a nice handbag as well.

How old are you?

Jeans are fine. They just have to be the right jeans.

Gen X

Born and raised in affluent part of dc metro area

Jeans scream casual. If you don’t want to look too casual, then you don’t wear jeans. I’ll give white or winter white jeans a pass during summer as long as paired with nice leather shoes and a blazer. And no frayed hem (obviously).

You're too young for this old lady attitude.

It has nothing to do with being old.

If you don’t realize that jeans are casual, then I’m not sure what to tell you.

Bottom line: if you don’t want to look too casual, then you don’t wear jeans. Or flip flops. Or sneakers.

And you fix your hair and do your makeup.

This is all commonsense.

The fact that you put jeans and flip flop in the same category shows you are out of touch. You can wear a skirt and look like trash. You can wear a skirt and look sharp. Same with jeans.

DP. Ok, but if the assignment is "putting my best foot forward" in a situation that has been framed as some sort of meeting between adults, I'm still not choosing jeans.

Cool. But context matters. I own tons of suits. There are plenty of occasions I need to put my best foot forward where it would be overkill to wear a suit. Heck, when you move into a new neighborhood and go to the first bbq, you put your best foot forward.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeans are too casual and read low class/unprofessional.

I always wear black slacks and nice shoes to such appointments. Depending on weather, I usually wear a blouse and blazer. I essentially dress like I would for work. I carry a nice handbag as well.

Jeans are not low class, and who uses terms like slacks and handbag? My mother is literally 80 and she doesn’t talk like this. She also wears jeans (gasp).

Go read one of the countless dcum threads on what it means to be old money, upper class, polished, etc.

ICYMI: some of us were raised a certain way and use certain words. How one expresses themselves speaks volumes on many levels.

Poking fun by insinuating that I am old or uncool says more about you, pp.

Anyway, setting all this aside: if the op wants to be taken seriously, then she should dress the part. I’ve literally changed my clothes and shoes before heading to the ER. Why? Because everyone treats you differently based on your appearance. When I’m the patient advocate, I dress my best.

Nice jeans with leather flats and a blazer are fine. Tattered hem jeans and sneakers foster a power differential.

I've read many, many, many of those threads, which are risible and cringe-inducing. I do agree with you that expressing oneself well is important, which is why I know that you should use "oneself" rather than "themselves" in the bolded sentence above. I'm so embarrassed for you that you used incorrect grammar while chiding me on the importance of communicating correcty.

Look, if you like cosplaying "old money" online, go ahead, but your language belies your claims and no one is impressed by your slacks and handbag. You can stick them up your gold-plated fanny.

Let them cosplay. They gave themselves up when they associated being treated better and being taken seriously with how they dress. That told me everything I needed to know about their upbringing and social class vs what they’re saying here.

I mean, there are countless studies that back up how bias impacts healthcare (and myriad other things dependent on human interaction and service).

I’ve spent a lot of time observing others treated poorly in hospital waiting rooms, ERs, patient rooms, etc.

Because I’m bilingual (but nobody would assume that by looking at me or hearing my name), I’ve been in many situations where I’m the witness to terrible treatment. Fortunately, my day job is to advocate so I can jump in and help. And guess what? I’m always taken seriously and treated well. I think the way I dress and carry myself helps. Practically speaking, the world judges you, and power differentials exist everywhere.

Wasn’t everyone taught to put your best foot forward?

You're coming at this situation from the mindset that there's a power differential (not in your favor) between you and whoever you are dealing with. I don't assume that. I'm the equal of any doctor, teacher, etc. that I meet. Not better, just equal. So I'm not worried about making a good impression with my clothes. I'm well-educated and well-spoken, and am always treated with respect. I don't need to wear a tasteful pantsuit and low-heeled pumps and carry a "handbag."

I agree with this post. Some of you are old fashioned and not in a good way. Such phony BS. If someone looks down on me for wearing a nice pair of jeans with a blazer, and that actually matters to them over how I conduct myself and what I say? Get over yourself. My opinion of you would go waaaaay down. Poser.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeans are too casual and read low class/unprofessional.

I always wear black slacks and nice shoes to such appointments. Depending on weather, I usually wear a blouse and blazer. I essentially dress like I would for work. I carry a nice handbag as well.

How old are you?

Jeans are fine. They just have to be the right jeans.

Gen X

Born and raised in affluent part of dc metro area

Jeans scream casual. If you don’t want to look too casual, then you don’t wear jeans. I’ll give white or winter white jeans a pass during summer as long as paired with nice leather shoes and a blazer. And no frayed hem (obviously).

You're too young for this old lady attitude.

It has nothing to do with being old.

If you don’t realize that jeans are casual, then I’m not sure what to tell you.

Bottom line: if you don’t want to look too casual, then you don’t wear jeans. Or flip flops. Or sneakers.

And you fix your hair and do your makeup.

This is all commonsense.

The fact that you put jeans and flip flop in the same category shows you are out of touch. You can wear a skirt and look like trash. You can wear a skirt and look sharp. Same with jeans.

DP. Ok, but if the assignment is "putting my best foot forward" in a situation that has been framed as some sort of meeting between adults, I'm still not choosing jeans.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeans are too casual and read low class/unprofessional.

I always wear black slacks and nice shoes to such appointments. Depending on weather, I usually wear a blouse and blazer. I essentially dress like I would for work. I carry a nice handbag as well.

How old are you?

Jeans are fine. They just have to be the right jeans.

Gen X

Born and raised in affluent part of dc metro area

Jeans scream casual. If you don’t want to look too casual, then you don’t wear jeans. I’ll give white or winter white jeans a pass during summer as long as paired with nice leather shoes and a blazer. And no frayed hem (obviously).

You're too young for this old lady attitude.

It has nothing to do with being old.

If you don’t realize that jeans are casual, then I’m not sure what to tell you.

Bottom line: if you don’t want to look too casual, then you don’t wear jeans. Or flip flops. Or sneakers.

And you fix your hair and do your makeup.

This is all commonsense.

The fact that you put jeans and flip flop in the same category shows you are out of touch. You can wear a skirt and look like trash. You can wear a skirt and look sharp. Same with jeans.

Anonymous wrote:OP this thread took a turn! So what are you going to wear???