Anonymous wrote:I used to email about absences and change in dismissal plans (usually takes bus but is being picked up by car) because that's what it says in the handbook, but the 4th grade teacher rarely responds. I get the sense she doesn't care so I stopped emailing her for that type of stuff.

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Anonymous wrote:Once this year, to explain ADHD, ask for some light accommodations (preferential seating near high achievers at the front of class rooms and just a few check-ins to make sure he's not daydreaming), and advise on how to support him at home. He was almost failing the class, so I felt I had to be proactive.

How annoying - this mom is dragging down my high achieving kid with her troublemaker.

As a teacher I don’t agree with “preferential seating” and only comply to the barest minimum. I’m definitely not letting someone disrupt kids who otherwise do their work.

I understand this be her ADHD kid is inattentive and easily distracted, but not disruptive. She wants her kid sitting near the front and near high achievers bc he would be easily distracted by the naughty kids (probably also adhd) in the back. I can see why she asks, but someone has to sit next to those kids… so whether it’s fair to comply, probably not.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Once this year, to explain ADHD, ask for some light accommodations (preferential seating near high achievers at the front of class rooms and just a few check-ins to make sure he's not daydreaming), and advise on how to support him at home. He was almost failing the class, so I felt I had to be proactive.

How annoying - this mom is dragging down my high achieving kid with her troublemaker.

As a teacher I don’t agree with “preferential seating” and only comply to the barest minimum. I’m definitely not letting someone disrupt kids who otherwise do their work.

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Anonymous wrote:Once this year, to explain ADHD, ask for some light accommodations (preferential seating near high achievers at the front of class rooms and just a few check-ins to make sure he's not daydreaming), and advise on how to support him at home. He was almost failing the class, so I felt I had to be proactive.

How annoying - this mom is dragging down my high achieving kid with her troublemaker.

Anonymous wrote:Once this year, to explain ADHD, ask for some light accommodations (preferential seating near high achievers at the front of class rooms and just a few check-ins to make sure he's not daydreaming), and advise on how to support him at home. He was almost failing the class, so I felt I had to be proactive.

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Anonymous wrote:How hard is it for parents to understand teachers need a recess break too. They need to go to the bathroom, grab a snack, and prep for next lesson.

This is why an email like this is annoying:

Me: Hi, Larla has been having issues with Marla at recess -- Marla keeps pressuring Larla to play a physical game that Larla doesn't want to play and Larla has asked many times for Marla to leaver her out of it but Marla isn't getting the message. Can you check on them and just make sure Marla understands that if Larla says no, she needs to observe that boundary?

First, no the teacher is not going to give up recess to go watch your child.

Secondly, so what if a student is telling another student to play a game she doesn't want to play? Tell your kid to walk away and there won't be an issue. Instead she keeps hanging around the kid you don't want her around. How can you not see how ridiculous it would be for a teacher to go up to another kid and put all the blame on that kid. It sounds more like kids are playing and your kid doesn't like what they are playing so wants to play something else. Nowhere in your email is your child being teased, hit/pushed, excluded, etc. This is why your emails aren't going anywhere and the teacher finds them annoying.

Lol no one is asking a teacher to "give up their recess" to watch a child. Recess is a supervised activity at school -- the teachers are required to watch the kids so they don't do something stupid. They might do it on a rotating schedule so teachers get breaks but supervising recess is already a part of most teacher's jobs.

Also, if the solution to a solution like the above is to tell the child to walk away, a parent can say that at home but is not present at school and doesn't know if it's happening or not. So the point of emailing a teacher about that would be specifically to get on the same page so both parent and teacher can reinforce the same issue. No one suggested the solution was to go up and "put all the blame on the other kid." The solution is to discourage those two kids from playing together and keep an eye out in case there is in fact teasing, hitting, pushing, or other escalating behavior happening under the radar.

This is a normal issue for someone to contact a teacher about. This is exactly the kind of dynamic that often leads to physical altercations so it's great to get it on the teacher's radar early before it escalates. I'd want to know.

You sound insane and no this is not normal. While the teachers may have to rotate supervising recess- they aren’t monitoring all the social interactions between kids. You kid’s inability to tell another kid no and walk away is something you can take your kid to therapy for. Nothing you have described warrants teacher intervention at all

Are you even a teacher? If a situation is bad enough that you recommend a parent take a child to therapy to address it, then it is certainly serious enough to inform a teacher of. No one is suggesting a teacher monitor every social interaction.

Therapy is suggested because your child should be able to say no they don’t want to play a game and go somewhere else. The other kid isn’t forcing her to participate, nothing bad is happening to her. She is playing a game. If she doesn’t want to she goes and finds something else to do. There is nothing for the teacher to do here. You really think the teacher should interrupt a game when there are no signs of distress or anything out the ordinary happening order to ask your child if they “really” want to be playing? Your kid needs to learn to say no if she doesn’t want to do something and go find something she does want to do- this is an age appropriate social skill and if your kid can’t do this, then perhaps therapy. But again, this is not an issue for the teacher to get involved in.

Are you a teacher? A child who can't say no even when someone is telling them to do something they don't want to do needs help from the adults in their life, which would include their classroom teacher. PP said it was a "physical game." That would concern me and 100% merit a message to the teacher. And if a kid is in therapy to address a social skill deficit, that is something a teacher should be informed of as well.

These are normal things to let a teacher know about.

+1

An unnecessary email would be something like "can you seat Timmy next to Alex? they are best buddies and we'd love for them to be able to spend more time together during the day!"

A playground conflict that is escalating or is resulting in a kid feeling forced to do something is a serious issue and a teacher should be made aware. It doesn't actually matter who supervises recess -- letting the teacher know flags it for the school and it can be shared with whoever is on recess duty. Some schools might also have the school social worker or a counselor observe that class's recess with eyes on the issue to see if it's something that needs intervention.

Sorry, but a kid feeling “forced” to play tag is not a serious issue and they aren’t actually being forced to do anything. They so play with someone else. The other kid isn’t hypnotizing them. This isn’t even a conflict

Exactly, this parent is unhinged. Imagine if all 20-25 students in the class emailed the teacher about potential conflicts.

Teacher, please keep an eye on Billy at recess because that Tommy keeps trying to get him to use the monkey bars and Billy isn't ready to do that and might fall and break an arm.

Teacher, can you watch the students in the library because my Susie says Jane keeps telling her she should check out a scary book and that is upsetting Susie.

Your child is way more capable than you think. Realize it is an important life skills to problem solve at recess.

And some kids struggle to problem solve at recess and may need guidance. You designed those examples to make the hypothetical parents sound stupid, of course, but if a kid was reporting that another child was trying to force them to play a certain way or read books they didn't like, and I'd already suggested walking away or they reported trying to stand up to the other kid but the pressure persisted, I would reach out to the teacher.

Kids can and will devolve into Lord of the Flies dynamics sometimes and may need some help to get out of them. Problem solving is a life skill but so is asking for help when you are in over your head.

You’re unhinged you sick puppy

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Anonymous wrote:For those of you that frequently email, before you do, pause and ask yourself: If this was 1990 and email didn’t exist, would whatever you want to email have warranted a phone call to the office and a message left for the teacher to return your call? If it doesn’t rise to that extent- don’t send the email. There are conferences twice per year form checking in on things

That's not the standard. When I was a kid, there were a lot of things where my mom would have sent a note with me to school. Those are all by email now. So if my kid is getting picked up early for a dr appointment or is taking the bus instead of a car on Wednesday, I send an email. That's how teachers have told us to communicate with them. No call back needed.

It should be. The teacher doesn’t even need to know these things. You show up for appt and office calls the kid down. Your kid is taking a bus, so they get in the bus line. Lots of kid alternate between bus and getting picked up, the teacher doesn’t need a email for every kid on every instance this happens. Your kid can say, my mother is picking me up, I’m not taking bus today or vice versa if anyone asks, which they likely won’t.

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Anonymous wrote:How hard is it for parents to understand teachers need a recess break too. They need to go to the bathroom, grab a snack, and prep for next lesson.

This is why an email like this is annoying:

Me: Hi, Larla has been having issues with Marla at recess -- Marla keeps pressuring Larla to play a physical game that Larla doesn't want to play and Larla has asked many times for Marla to leaver her out of it but Marla isn't getting the message. Can you check on them and just make sure Marla understands that if Larla says no, she needs to observe that boundary?

First, no the teacher is not going to give up recess to go watch your child.

Secondly, so what if a student is telling another student to play a game she doesn't want to play? Tell your kid to walk away and there won't be an issue. Instead she keeps hanging around the kid you don't want her around. How can you not see how ridiculous it would be for a teacher to go up to another kid and put all the blame on that kid. It sounds more like kids are playing and your kid doesn't like what they are playing so wants to play something else. Nowhere in your email is your child being teased, hit/pushed, excluded, etc. This is why your emails aren't going anywhere and the teacher finds them annoying.

Lol no one is asking a teacher to "give up their recess" to watch a child. Recess is a supervised activity at school -- the teachers are required to watch the kids so they don't do something stupid. They might do it on a rotating schedule so teachers get breaks but supervising recess is already a part of most teacher's jobs.

Also, if the solution to a solution like the above is to tell the child to walk away, a parent can say that at home but is not present at school and doesn't know if it's happening or not. So the point of emailing a teacher about that would be specifically to get on the same page so both parent and teacher can reinforce the same issue. No one suggested the solution was to go up and "put all the blame on the other kid." The solution is to discourage those two kids from playing together and keep an eye out in case there is in fact teasing, hitting, pushing, or other escalating behavior happening under the radar.

This is a normal issue for someone to contact a teacher about. This is exactly the kind of dynamic that often leads to physical altercations so it's great to get it on the teacher's radar early before it escalates. I'd want to know.

You sound insane and no this is not normal. While the teachers may have to rotate supervising recess- they aren’t monitoring all the social interactions between kids. You kid’s inability to tell another kid no and walk away is something you can take your kid to therapy for. Nothing you have described warrants teacher intervention at all

Are you even a teacher? If a situation is bad enough that you recommend a parent take a child to therapy to address it, then it is certainly serious enough to inform a teacher of. No one is suggesting a teacher monitor every social interaction.

Therapy is suggested because your child should be able to say no they don’t want to play a game and go somewhere else. The other kid isn’t forcing her to participate, nothing bad is happening to her. She is playing a game. If she doesn’t want to she goes and finds something else to do. There is nothing for the teacher to do here. You really think the teacher should interrupt a game when there are no signs of distress or anything out the ordinary happening order to ask your child if they “really” want to be playing? Your kid needs to learn to say no if she doesn’t want to do something and go find something she does want to do- this is an age appropriate social skill and if your kid can’t do this, then perhaps therapy. But again, this is not an issue for the teacher to get involved in.

Are you a teacher? A child who can't say no even when someone is telling them to do something they don't want to do needs help from the adults in their life, which would include their classroom teacher. PP said it was a "physical game." That would concern me and 100% merit a message to the teacher. And if a kid is in therapy to address a social skill deficit, that is something a teacher should be informed of as well.

These are normal things to let a teacher know about.

+1

An unnecessary email would be something like "can you seat Timmy next to Alex? they are best buddies and we'd love for them to be able to spend more time together during the day!"

A playground conflict that is escalating or is resulting in a kid feeling forced to do something is a serious issue and a teacher should be made aware. It doesn't actually matter who supervises recess -- letting the teacher know flags it for the school and it can be shared with whoever is on recess duty. Some schools might also have the school social worker or a counselor observe that class's recess with eyes on the issue to see if it's something that needs intervention.

Sorry, but a kid feeling “forced” to play tag is not a serious issue and they aren’t actually being forced to do anything. They so play with someone else. The other kid isn’t hypnotizing them. This isn’t even a conflict

Exactly, this parent is unhinged. Imagine if all 20-25 students in the class emailed the teacher about potential conflicts.

Teacher, please keep an eye on Billy at recess because that Tommy keeps trying to get him to use the monkey bars and Billy isn't ready to do that and might fall and break an arm.

Teacher, can you watch the students in the library because my Susie says Jane keeps telling her she should check out a scary book and that is upsetting Susie.

Your child is way more capable than you think. Realize it is an important life skills to problem solve at recess.

And some kids struggle to problem solve at recess and may need guidance. You designed those examples to make the hypothetical parents sound stupid, of course, but if a kid was reporting that another child was trying to force them to play a certain way or read books they didn't like, and I'd already suggested walking away or they reported trying to stand up to the other kid but the pressure persisted, I would reach out to the teacher.

Kids can and will devolve into Lord of the Flies dynamics sometimes and may need some help to get out of them. Problem solving is a life skill but so is asking for help when you are in over your head.

Anonymous wrote:People vastly overestimate how much teachers care about your child. They really don't. They are annoyed with most of the students most of the time and do not want to be bothered about most things. You will get more traction emailing admin.