I’m a guy, & not exactly a matinee idol in the looks department, & I’ve been groped & kissed by women against my will multiple times. So if men are pigs, we are not alone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it apparently so commonplace and acceptable to be blackout drunk?! No one is a reliable reporter of anything under those circumstances. How about self-respect? As others have said, it’s not right but it is predictable that these incidents happen given what we are seeing on the college circuit: girls stumbling around dressed in almost nothing, holding their vapes. Doesn’t make me want to empty out the 529!

My daughter has two friends who were assaulted and both were completely intoxicated. Didn't know where they were, barely conscious. Both had been drinking for hours.
Doesn't excuse the assailants but your risk of assault as a woman skyrockets when you are are unable to think, move, or defend yourself.

I've never been much of a drinker (I do drink sometimes, just not a lot) so I used to be the person who watched out for others at parties, particularly when I was a senior.

It's complicated. 18 year olds who have never drunk before don't really know what they're getting into and there are malicious people who will make the mixed drinks way too strong. I knew otherwise smart people who'd get in over their heads fast.

If you are talking to a college bound kid, teach them to drink lots of water, take it slow at parties, keep an eye in their drinks, don't accept a drink mixed by someone else, don't drink stuff out of the cooler. Stick to the crappy light beer when first going to parties, definitely don't do shots as an early drinking experience. Talk to older classmates to know which parties/frats to avoid.

And if you can have someone who can watch out for you, do that.

It really won't be enough, unfortunately. People get assaulted perfectly sober all the time. But parties are a vulnerable time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This seems horrifically high. Or am I clueless? And cornell is particularly bad? What?

Are you male? I don't think that number would surprise many woman.

As a woman 25% seems on the low side.

Anonymous wrote:Why is it apparently so commonplace and acceptable to be blackout drunk?! No one is a reliable reporter of anything under those circumstances. How about self-respect? As others have said, it’s not right but it is predictable that these incidents happen given what we are seeing on the college circuit: girls stumbling around dressed in almost nothing, holding their vapes. Doesn’t make me want to empty out the 529!

My daughter has two friends who were assaulted and both were completely intoxicated. Didn't know where they were, barely conscious. Both had been drinking for hours.
Doesn't excuse the assailants but your risk of assault as a woman skyrockets when you are are unable to think, move, or defend yourself.

Anonymous wrote:Why is it apparently so commonplace and acceptable to be blackout drunk?! No one is a reliable reporter of anything under those circumstances. How about self-respect? As others have said, it’s not right but it is predictable that these incidents happen given what we are seeing on the college circuit: girls stumbling around dressed in almost nothing, holding their vapes. Doesn’t make me want to empty out the 529!

Hillsdale is an option for your family

Why is it apparently so commonplace and acceptable to be blackout drunk?! No one is a reliable reporter of anything under those circumstances. How about self-respect? As others have said, it’s not right but it is predictable that these incidents happen given what we are seeing on the college circuit: girls stumbling around dressed in almost nothing, holding their vapes. Doesn’t make me want to empty out the 529!

I believe the scientific explanation is that men are trash.

College age guys are extremely horny. Biology is telling them to have sex in a huge way.

When alcohol gets involved poor decisions are made.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Misandrysts, take note please.. I was sexually assaulted by a woman while I was in college. I was too intoxicated to consent. I asked her not to continue but she did.

Yes, I'm sure the vast majority of cases are male on female but the reverse does happen. Perhaps more than we know, similar to female on male DV. Some of y'all are "pigs" too.

It happens, kind of like teachers who "rape". MANY are female over the last decade. It does happen. It isn't just men who have issues. People have issues.

As a SA survivor, I'd rather you not belittle my experience but I am sure some here will do so anyway.

I am really sorry that happened to you. I hope you have support from some corner of your life. You deserve it.

I am a woman and was also sexually assaulted by a woman, who was my boss at work. One of the worst things about it was not being believed or having it taken seriously, even though had a man done what she did, he would almost certainly have been fired and blacklisted. Instead people made excuses for the woman who SAed me and said I must have misunderstood. I ultimately left that job, humiliated, and she remained in her role and was even promoted after I left, despite everyone above her being aware of what she'd done.

Women can and do commit sexual assault, especially when they have power/leverage over their victims.

I'm sorry you experienced that and I'm sorry you weren't believed. I hope you found support and are in a better place.

Women can and absolutely have committed assault. You nailed it when you said that when people have power or leverage they can exploit it, regardless of gender.

Couple of comments.

I and others I know have absolutely been sexually assaulted while completely sober. I agree that it can be even more likely if you are drunk or blacked out, but you can’t prevent it just by being sober 100% of the time. And I agree the impetus should not be on a victim to stop drinking entirely. We should live in a society where we are not sexually assaulted, no matter what state we’re in.

As for reporting, it can be really really tough when it’s an acquaintance or friend, which it often is. A previous poster gave a comment that really resonated with why I never reported it: I didn’t want to ruin their life. This especially rings true when it’s a friend who commits this act. To be honest, I’m still friends with someone who sexually assaulted me years ago in college. I didn’t want to blow up our friend circle at the time, it was a one-time incident, and now it’s been 15 years and I’ve gotten over it. We see each other once a year-ish if our friend group gets together and he’s gone out of his way to help me later in life. Doesn’t make up for it, but I’m just saying the choice to report is really complicated.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Misandrysts, take note please.. I was sexually assaulted by a woman while I was in college. I was too intoxicated to consent. I asked her not to continue but she did.

Yes, I'm sure the vast majority of cases are male on female but the reverse does happen. Perhaps more than we know, similar to female on male DV. Some of y'all are "pigs" too.

It happens, kind of like teachers who "rape". MANY are female over the last decade. It does happen. It isn't just men who have issues. People have issues.

As a SA survivor, I'd rather you not belittle my experience but I am sure some here will do so anyway.

Quite sure some men laughed reading your comment and some are jealous not being in your place.

What a sick response to a person sharing their story of assault. You must have no empathy.

Anonymous wrote:It includes any type of contract, so inappropriate touching like a butt slap or brushing against someone also counts.

What? If you include butt slaps it’s probably close to 100%.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would reporting even look like? If you get your ass slapped without your consent, who do you report this to and what would the consequences be?

depends on if you can identify the person. If you just have "a bicyclist slapped me", then you could establish a pattern that could help later on down line when the bicyclist slaps other women

Nobody has time for that.

Anonymous wrote:What would reporting even look like? If you get your ass slapped without your consent, who do you report this to and what would the consequences be?

depends on if you can identify the person. If you just have "a bicyclist slapped me", then you could establish a pattern that could help later on down line when the bicyclist slaps other women

What would reporting even look like? If you get your ass slapped without your consent, who do you report this to and what would the consequences be?