Focus on what's in someone's heart, not what's on their bodies. Being kind should have more value than being well dressed.

If you only see their exterior, go to Opera, why bother with a place where people are trying to follow Jesus?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know I sound both old and old fashioned but I love seeing clean cut families put effort into their appearance. Boys in chinos and a tucked in shirt, dad in a blazer or suit (or at least a collared shirt under a nice sweater), mom and gals in dresses. Everyone's hair styled nicely. It displays such an appreciation and respect for the church and the service. We'll probably never return to that but semi-casual is still nice to see. However, the hooded sweatshirts, baggy fleece pants... untucked shirts... kids wearing t-shirts under a jacket... sporty sneakers... I hate it. Often parents are dressed nice but the kids look like they just rolled out of bed. It's not a wealth thing, it's a caring thing.

Yep. Western civ was nice while it lasted. Now everyone looks like sh!t. Not just church: air travel, public transit, buying groceries.

I was going to write that clothing is the least of western civ's problems right now ... but actually, this idea that other people are scenery in your life, such that you get annoyed when the scenery is not pleasing to you, is pretty central to what's wrong.

Like a PP, I remember my little sister getting into epic fights with my parents over church dresses and it just doesn’t seem worth it.

We are a newer church going family (I returned to the church after many years) and decided that I want my kids to have fond memories of getting ready - going to - and leaving church, in addition to enjoying the Mass when there. So, we ask them to dress themselves and as long as they aren’t in a costume or PJs, let it ride. We try and dress up for holidays because it is fun and more festive than normal.

My DH is often the nicest dressed on random Sundays - he grew up in a “dress up” family and I keep telling him to just wear jeans and a sweater like everyone else but he can’t do it, even though he is way more comfortable in his casual clothes. He still talks about the time he FINALLY wore something more casual and I forgot to tell him it was confirmation weekend and the archbishop would be there… needless to say everyone else dressed up for that one lol.

I agree.

It also bothers me that we have stopped distinguishing between school clothes and play clothes.

Anonymous wrote:I know I sound both old and old fashioned but I love seeing clean cut families put effort into their appearance. Boys in chinos and a tucked in shirt, dad in a blazer or suit (or at least a collared shirt under a nice sweater), mom and gals in dresses. Everyone's hair styled nicely. It displays such an appreciation and respect for the church and the service. We'll probably never return to that but semi-casual is still nice to see. However, the hooded sweatshirts, baggy fleece pants... untucked shirts... kids wearing t-shirts under a jacket... sporty sneakers... I hate it. Often parents are dressed nice but the kids look like they just rolled out of bed. It's not a wealth thing, it's a caring thing.

If it doesn't bother God, it shouldn't bother anyone else. Your sense of dressing and your spirituality have nothing to do with each other. Most parents are overwhelmed with life, if they show up to your church, mosque or temple, make them feel at home.

It's not really my place to have an opinion on this. It's not my house.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my kids were little I dressed them up for church. When they started dressing themselves they rebelled. I decided it wasn't a battle worth having. I dress nicely, my husband dresses nicely. My teens actually do dress with care- just not in the clothes that I would necessarily consider 'church attire.' If you have an issue with how my family is dressed at church, please bring it up with me directly, not on DCUM. The only 'ask' i have is that you have this discussion with me in front of one of the pastors at church- they need to know how you feel.

WHY do the pastors need to know how OP feels? Because you want to out OP??

The pastors are just glad that anyone's showing up at all.

You atheist and bigoted trolls can't help but expose yourself. Our Catholic church is full, literally standing room only at peak times.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread needs to be contextualized. OP- are you white? There’s a different calculus if not. What denomination are we talking about?

Catholic
Episcopal
Methodist/Presbyterian/UCC/mainline Protestant
Non-denominational mega church
Mormon
7th day Adventist

I feel like that will help people understand where you’re coming from…

Pls explain why race is a factor.

Because Black church norms are different- historically and even now. There are also differences among denominations which is why I asked for clarification.

Yeah, the general sentiment seems to be that it’s OK for black churches to uphold high standards for attire for Sunday services but when presumably white ladies like OP (is she?) do it, then they are judgmental Karen’s.

I think the meanest people on this forum, who are also the most prolific commenters, are just miserable and lonely non-Christian trolls.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying sharing a space when everyone is well groomed and dressed nicely. Every place of worship used to be that way every weekend.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread needs to be contextualized. OP- are you white? There’s a different calculus if not. What denomination are we talking about?

Catholic
Episcopal
Methodist/Presbyterian/UCC/mainline Protestant
Non-denominational mega church
Mormon
7th day Adventist

I feel like that will help people understand where you’re coming from…

Pls explain why race is a factor.

Because Black church norms are different- historically and even now. There are also differences among denominations which is why I asked for clarification.

Yeah, the general sentiment seems to be that it’s OK for black churches to uphold high standards for attire for Sunday services but when presumably white ladies like OP (is she?) do it, then they are judgmental Karen’s.

Anonymous wrote:I know I sound both old and old fashioned but I love seeing clean cut families put effort into their appearance. Boys in chinos and a tucked in shirt, dad in a blazer or suit (or at least a collared shirt under a nice sweater), mom and gals in dresses. Everyone's hair styled nicely. It displays such an appreciation and respect for the church and the service. We'll probably never return to that but semi-casual is still nice to see. However, the hooded sweatshirts, baggy fleece pants... untucked shirts... kids wearing t-shirts under a jacket... sporty sneakers... I hate it. Often parents are dressed nice but the kids look like they just rolled out of bed. It's not a wealth thing, it's a caring thing.

Yep. Western civ was nice while it lasted. Now everyone looks like sh!t. Not just church: air travel, public transit, buying groceries.

If you won’t put a bit of effort into your appearance for God, it speaks volumes.

Two things can be true at once:
An dressy outfit can help someone look more put-together and respectful.
A casual outfit can help someone feel more comfortable and authentic.

Luckily, there's probably a church that meets your vision of what a congregation should look like, if that's your priority.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread needs to be contextualized. OP- are you white? There’s a different calculus if not. What denomination are we talking about?

Catholic
Episcopal
Methodist/Presbyterian/UCC/mainline Protestant
Non-denominational mega church
Mormon
7th day Adventist

I feel like that will help people understand where you’re coming from…

Pls explain why race is a factor.

Because Black church norms are different- historically and even now. There are also differences among denominations which is why I asked for clarification.

No

And mommy the adulterer is wearing stiletto stripper pumps.

The boys are dressed nicely though.