Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no magic bullet op. Your kid didn’t pick safeties she wanted to attend. She didn’t pick targets that she could afford. No one can change that now. Either add schools with late deadlines (unlikely to be schools more appealing than her current safeties), take a gap year and do more research next year, or help her come to terms with the schools she can afford, apparently Towson and Salisbury. Alternatively she can go to community college and transfer afterwards to Maryland, or another affordable state school.

I think OP is trying to gather ideas for making the safeties more appealing. But few people have any. I actually know several kids who have had great experiences at safeties, but they started out enthusiastic about the schools, usually going there to play a sport or because of a substantial scholarship that made them feel great about the school.

Count our family as one of those with DCs at or getting ready to attend a “safety.” Both are using philosophies already stated in this thread (amongst the finger-waggers!):

(1) Love the School that Loves You, and
(2) Be the Big Fish in a Small(er) Pond.

Several years in, the wisdom of zero-debt is also HUGE as those friends getting ready to graduate are starting to fret over job prospects and looming loan payment startups.

DC1 is indeed a BMOC within their department with prime, paid internships that further knocked down COA. DC2 has all but had the red-carpet laid out for them by an OOS flagship that is rarely discussed on DCUM and would statistically be a safety.

Not saying Towson will do that for your DC but I’d be willing to bet they’ll get some good attention. And remember, if your child is in this position, there will be others too!

So attend that Admitted Student Day and start rooting for those Tigers!
(I loved CAA football and am sad UR left)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to a financial safety (full tuition scholarship plus a bit more) that I was OK to attend but was not my "dream school" or "dream college" experience.

I challenged myself in classes & with trying new activities outside of classes. I did a niche program (like an honors program/college but not), walked onto a sport, etc. I had friends, attended parties, and build mentor-mentee relationships with a few professors because I was absolutely top of my class.

But, most importantly for a millennial, I had zero debt that allowed me (and my H who also had zero edu debt thanks to tuition scholarship & near-full time work during undergrad), before I was 30, to buy a home, eventually have kids, and be in a good place with my savings for retirement, kids' college funds, etc. While I am still a little wistful about the college experience I never had, I am *grateful* for the more enduring financial freedom my "safety" brought me.

This is a productive post, thank you! You sound smart and reasonable. College isn't perfect and it sounds like you had a great experience overall

Yes, but I think going into it with the proper mindset is important (I'm the person you responded to). I went in with a "I'll make the best of this, take ahold of as many opportunities as I can, and make sure I'm prepared for my 'dream' grad school." I did all those things. I don't think I would have been successful if I went into it with the attitude: "This sucks & I don't want to hang out with these losers." Ya know?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand. Didn't you discuss the financials and run the NPCs for every school before applying? Sounds like substantial college savings means no need-based aid. Your child shouldn't have applied to any schools you both weren't willing to cover the difference for (given limited merit almost everywhere except a few schools for NMSF/NMF). Unfortunately you set your DC up for disappointment, which is a shame.

An alternative is taking a gap year to work and save as much money as possible, and to plan on working during school years and summer to help offset the extra costs. But a smart motivated kid will can do very well no matter where they attend UG!

Don't be a dick. Until you do it, you don't realize how stingy the FA or merit aid at these school really is. You hope for the best. Rubbing it in that "you did this" is just an a-hole thing to say.

Not everyone has time to research every school, possibility, etc. like the people on this board.

OP- my child had a D1 sports offer to a very high academic school (top 15). DC turned it down. That school was $90K a year. Even with athletic money (but no FA and no merit given by this school at all to anyone), it was not worth it. That's an absurd price tag to pay at almost full freight. We didn't know how stingy they'd be until DC got the offer. It was devastating to turn it down but . . .

DC is at a high performing d3 program at a school that people on here often mock. But DC is Dean's list, an athlete, and having a great experience. DC will graduate debt free with prob $100K+ left over for grad school. While many of DC's peers will be drowning in undergrad debt. Spin it as such.

Also DC talked to lots of professionals in the field of study and all said "it doesn't matter where you go to undergrad."

OP here. Thank you for your story! For those who said we didn't prepare perfectly and I set my child up for disappointment, maybe. But we thought their solid gpa (3.8 unweighted, 4.8 weighted, multiple 5s on AP exams, slightly above average SAT), plus multiple meaningful awards and varsity sports would be enough. And it wasn't. Lesson learned. And we are still learning as this process continues. At this point we've determined around 40k per year is around our max, with medical school down the road. This is actually a good lesson, although disappointing, in making informed decisions about finances. We don't hear enough about kids who do NOT go to their dream schools because of money but end up loving where they go.

How does a 3.8 uw turn into a 4.8 weighted?

A 3.8 uw isn't fantastic. It usually means a handful of Bs possibly even a C.

You just want to keep posting the same mean comment? I’ll just keep giving the same answer.

What are you on about? A 3.8 is a high A- average.

Sure, but in a sea of MCPS 4.0s a 3.8 is not competitive. Even with high rigor, which many, many kids around here have. Not for UMD (these days), and not for high merit awards. But I think it's easy to be unaware of this, if you're not closely following the College forum on DCUM!

This x1000. Relative class rank matter way more than gpa, especially with respect to in state flagships that see enough students from every high school in the state to be able to figure out that rank themselves (even if school does not supply, as most don’t).

Anonymous wrote:OP, have your DD go to admitted student days and give her safeties a chance. It's different to tour a school once you're admitted and can start picturing yourself there. But the sweatshirt, talk to students in her department, get excited about what they offer. My spouse is a professor at a LAC that's ranked outside the T100, so it's a school that's literally never mentioned here. And every year he has great students graduate who get accepted into med school, law school and top notch grad programs. Tell her to go and be a big fish in a small pond, enjoy college and if after the first year, it's not a good fit, transfer. And maybe after grinding for 4 straight years, she'll end up enjoying being able to have more time for clubs, social stuff, etc. Being at the most competitive school isn't always the best fit- she very well may end up having a phenomenal experience at her safety. And there will 100% be other smart, hardworking kids there who are in the same boat- it happens every year that kids end up switching gears based on financial aid and merit offers and end up where they didn't expect to go.

+1

Anonymous wrote:I went to a financial safety (full tuition scholarship plus a bit more) that I was OK to attend but was not my "dream school" or "dream college" experience.

I challenged myself in classes & with trying new activities outside of classes. I did a niche program (like an honors program/college but not), walked onto a sport, etc. I had friends, attended parties, and build mentor-mentee relationships with a few professors because I was absolutely top of my class.

But, most importantly for a millennial, I had zero debt that allowed me (and my H who also had zero edu debt thanks to tuition scholarship & near-full time work during undergrad), before I was 30, to buy a home, eventually have kids, and be in a good place with my savings for retirement, kids' college funds, etc. While I am still a little wistful about the college experience I never had, I am *grateful* for the more enduring financial freedom my "safety" brought me.

This is a productive post, thank you! You sound smart and reasonable. College isn't perfect and it sounds like you had a great experience overall

Haven't read all the replies but apply to private colleges like Loyola Maryland. They gave DC great aid that brought the coa to $40K, and DC's stats were lower than your kids (4.5 wgpa, 1440 SAT).

DC ultimately decided to go oos with zero merit, but we have the funds to do it (though it kills me to leave so much money on the table - DC got a total of $750K merit aid from various universities).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:UMD is probably best choice. In state pricing and flag ship

child rejected but came from a MCPS school that is UMD predominant. And we recognized with the rejection, it's probably too big

Go to Towson or Salisbury and transfer to UMD. Or community college. UMD should be the way if medical school is in the future. Many of friends’ kids who want to medical school have chosen UMD for undergrad. If medical school is in the future, no need to pay 60K plus for undergrad.

Anonymous wrote:You say that “it is sad for them to see their classmates commit to schools they cannot commit to.” I don’t understand how your kid hasn’t been prepared for this for that last few years. You tell them how much money you have to spend, run the NPC and figure out where to apply based on what you can afford. The NPC are very accurate. There is not going to be some big windfall of aid from a top college! Why do kids these days assume they should be going to a school they can’t afford? It is asinine. Social media has built up the top 20-30 schools so much that kids think it is normal for every top student to attend these schools. It is not! Top students attend colleges in the 50-150 range all the time and go on to live successful lives. OP, does your child expect a European vacation every summer because that is what her classmate does? Does your child expect you to buy her golden goose sneakers because that is what her classmates have? Top 30 colleges are exactly the same thing- luxury products your kid should not expect unless you are able to pay for it!! This is why Virginia parents go crazy about UVA admissions—top 30 school without the huge price tag.

To be fair, the two safety colleges mentioned are not exactly in the 50-150 range.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand. Didn't you discuss the financials and run the NPCs for every school before applying? Sounds like substantial college savings means no need-based aid. Your child shouldn't have applied to any schools you both weren't willing to cover the difference for (given limited merit almost everywhere except a few schools for NMSF/NMF). Unfortunately you set your DC up for disappointment, which is a shame.

An alternative is taking a gap year to work and save as much money as possible, and to plan on working during school years and summer to help offset the extra costs. But a smart motivated kid will can do very well no matter where they attend UG!

Don't be a dick. Until you do it, you don't realize how stingy the FA or merit aid at these school really is. You hope for the best. Rubbing it in that "you did this" is just an a-hole thing to say.

Not everyone has time to research every school, possibility, etc. like the people on this board.

OP- my child had a D1 sports offer to a very high academic school (top 15). DC turned it down. That school was $90K a year. Even with athletic money (but no FA and no merit given by this school at all to anyone), it was not worth it. That's an absurd price tag to pay at almost full freight. We didn't know how stingy they'd be until DC got the offer. It was devastating to turn it down but . . .

DC is at a high performing d3 program at a school that people on here often mock. But DC is Dean's list, an athlete, and having a great experience. DC will graduate debt free with prob $100K+ left over for grad school. While many of DC's peers will be drowning in undergrad debt. Spin it as such.

Also DC talked to lots of professionals in the field of study and all said "it doesn't matter where you go to undergrad."

OP here. Thank you for your story! For those who said we didn't prepare perfectly and I set my child up for disappointment, maybe. But we thought their solid gpa (3.8 unweighted, 4.8 weighted, multiple 5s on AP exams, slightly above average SAT), plus multiple meaningful awards and varsity sports would be enough. And it wasn't. Lesson learned. And we are still learning as this process continues. At this point we've determined around 40k per year is around our max, with medical school down the road. This is actually a good lesson, although disappointing, in making informed decisions about finances. We don't hear enough about kids who do NOT go to their dream schools because of money but end up loving where they go.

How does a 3.8 uw turn into a 4.8 weighted?

A 3.8 uw isn't fantastic. It usually means a handful of Bs possibly even a C.

NP. I'm guessing that OP is in MoCo and they have more generous weighting than FCPS. They give their honors classes a 1.0 bump whereas FCPS honors is only .5. So my FCPS child has an unweighted 3.8 with a 4.2 weighted gpa.

Anonymous wrote:It’s tough because UMD has become so competitive and I think plenty of students just aren’t as enthusiastic about the next tier of in-state options. I agree that you need to try to keep the framing positive for your student. Sign up for accepted student days at Towson and Salisbury. Transferring to UMD after a year is definitely an option.

Maybe these small schools you’re still waiting to hear from will come through with financial aid. My student received unexpected on very generous merit ($45k annually for 4 years) from a small liberal arts college in NY. You never know! A 3.8 UW from MCPS may not be enough for UMD but perhaps one of the private colleges will come out to a reasonable cost and be doable with the funds your family has saved.

I wouldn't get DC's hopes up about this but, yes, it's possible. Look what happened with Syracuse last year!

It’s tough because UMD has become so competitive and I think plenty of students just aren’t as enthusiastic about the next tier of in-state options. I agree that you need to try to keep the framing positive for your student. Sign up for accepted student days at Towson and Salisbury. Transferring to UMD after a year is definitely an option.

Maybe these small schools you’re still waiting to hear from will come through with financial aid. My student received unexpected on very generous merit ($45k annually for 4 years) from a small liberal arts college in NY. You never know! A 3.8 UW from MCPS may not be enough for UMD but perhaps one of the private colleges will come out to a reasonable cost and be doable with the funds your family has saved.

I went to a financial safety (full tuition scholarship plus a bit more) that I was OK to attend but was not my "dream school" or "dream college" experience.

I challenged myself in classes & with trying new activities outside of classes. I did a niche program (like an honors program/college but not), walked onto a sport, etc. I had friends, attended parties, and build mentor-mentee relationships with a few professors because I was absolutely top of my class.

But, most importantly for a millennial, I had zero debt that allowed me (and my H who also had zero edu debt thanks to tuition scholarship & near-full time work during undergrad), before I was 30, to buy a home, eventually have kids, and be in a good place with my savings for retirement, kids' college funds, etc. While I am still a little wistful about the college experience I never had, I am *grateful* for the more enduring financial freedom my "safety" brought me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand. Didn't you discuss the financials and run the NPCs for every school before applying? Sounds like substantial college savings means no need-based aid. Your child shouldn't have applied to any schools you both weren't willing to cover the difference for (given limited merit almost everywhere except a few schools for NMSF/NMF). Unfortunately you set your DC up for disappointment, which is a shame.

An alternative is taking a gap year to work and save as much money as possible, and to plan on working during school years and summer to help offset the extra costs. But a smart motivated kid will can do very well no matter where they attend UG!

Don't be a dick. Until you do it, you don't realize how stingy the FA or merit aid at these school really is. You hope for the best. Rubbing it in that "you did this" is just an a-hole thing to say.

Not everyone has time to research every school, possibility, etc. like the people on this board.

OP- my child had a D1 sports offer to a very high academic school (top 15). DC turned it down. That school was $90K a year. Even with athletic money (but no FA and no merit given by this school at all to anyone), it was not worth it. That's an absurd price tag to pay at almost full freight. We didn't know how stingy they'd be until DC got the offer. It was devastating to turn it down but . . .

DC is at a high performing d3 program at a school that people on here often mock. But DC is Dean's list, an athlete, and having a great experience. DC will graduate debt free with prob $100K+ left over for grad school. While many of DC's peers will be drowning in undergrad debt. Spin it as such.

Also DC talked to lots of professionals in the field of study and all said "it doesn't matter where you go to undergrad."

OP here. Thank you for your story! For those who said we didn't prepare perfectly and I set my child up for disappointment, maybe. But we thought their solid gpa (3.8 unweighted, 4.8 weighted, multiple 5s on AP exams, slightly above average SAT), plus multiple meaningful awards and varsity sports would be enough. And it wasn't. Lesson learned. And we are still learning as this process continues. At this point we've determined around 40k per year is around our max, with medical school down the road. This is actually a good lesson, although disappointing, in making informed decisions about finances. We don't hear enough about kids who do NOT go to their dream schools because of money but end up loving where they go.

How does a 3.8 uw turn into a 4.8 weighted?

A 3.8 uw isn't fantastic. It usually means a handful of Bs possibly even a C.

You just want to keep posting the same mean comment? I’ll just keep giving the same answer.

What are you on about? A 3.8 is a high A- average.

Sure, but in a sea of MCPS 4.0s a 3.8 is not competitive. Even with high rigor, which many, many kids around here have. Not for UMD (these days), and not for high merit awards. But I think it's easy to be unaware of this, if you're not closely following the College forum on DCUM!

You say that “it is sad for them to see their classmates commit to schools they cannot commit to.” I don’t understand how your kid hasn’t been prepared for this for that last few years. You tell them how much money you have to spend, run the NPC and figure out where to apply based on what you can afford. The NPC are very accurate. There is not going to be some big windfall of aid from a top college! Why do kids these days assume they should be going to a school they can’t afford? It is asinine. Social media has built up the top 20-30 schools so much that kids think it is normal for every top student to attend these schools. It is not! Top students attend colleges in the 50-150 range all the time and go on to live successful lives. OP, does your child expect a European vacation every summer because that is what her classmate does? Does your child expect you to buy her golden goose sneakers because that is what her classmates have? Top 30 colleges are exactly the same thing- luxury products your kid should not expect unless you are able to pay for it!! This is why Virginia parents go crazy about UVA admissions—top 30 school without the huge price tag.

OP, have your DD go to admitted student days and give her safeties a chance. It's different to tour a school once you're admitted and can start picturing yourself there. But the sweatshirt, talk to students in her department, get excited about what they offer. My spouse is a professor at a LAC that's ranked outside the T100, so it's a school that's literally never mentioned here. And every year he has great students graduate who get accepted into med school, law school and top notch grad programs. Tell her to go and be a big fish in a small pond, enjoy college and if after the first year, it's not a good fit, transfer. And maybe after grinding for 4 straight years, she'll end up enjoying being able to have more time for clubs, social stuff, etc. Being at the most competitive school isn't always the best fit- she very well may end up having a phenomenal experience at her safety. And there will 100% be other smart, hardworking kids there who are in the same boat- it happens every year that kids end up switching gears based on financial aid and merit offers and end up where they didn't expect to go.