Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Which version of it? One version is very common, something like 75% of peopel have it. HSV-1 I think?

That isn’t the venereal disease

News flash you can get HSV-1 on your genitals just like you can get it on/in your mouth. Just because you can get HSV-1 from innocent contact as well as sex doesn’t make it any less of a venereal disease. Use google, it’s free.

70% of people don’t have genital herpes. Stop trying to normalize something so shameful.

I have no idea what you are talking about? I wasn’t trying to normalize anything? I was simply stating that HSV-1 or 2 can both present on the genitals-which is 100% true.

HSV-1 is typically oral. HSV-2 is typically genital. Oral sex can cause them to occur in the atypical location. Lots of people who contract HSV-1 genitally have one outbreak and never again, or have them so rarely and mildly that they don’t take medication daily. Those with HSV-2 should be taking a daily pill to prevent outbreaks. You can contract either HSV-1 or HSV-2 and have it be dormant in your system for years before ever having an outbreak.

He may not have cheated, he may have contracted before dating OP and not had an outbreak until recently, he may not have had an outbreak at all (OP never saw one), he may have not had an STD test until recently at an annual check up (my GYN and DH’s PCP have recently started including these annually for all patients because morals are at an all time low).

Anonymous wrote:Op, you aren't dramatic.
Your partner sucks.

Ladies, stop having babies with losers!
Your partner is literally the only family you'll ever choose. So choose well!

Preach.

He is no longer your fiancé.

Please stay calm and find out more facts.

There will be records that will support his side of the story if telling the truth. Are we talking a couple years ago or 10 years ago?

I’d want to know if he’s ever had an outbreak?

Old herpes tests were very unreliable. False positives were a thing and hard to interpret especially without a doctor. What were the actual numbers?

I’m sorry. I can see this one of two ways. He’s cheated, and had a recent outbreak. Or he’s being paranoid about a test from years ago he may not even understand.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can find a way to drift away and not name him on the birth certificate, OP, you should. You don’t want a lying creep like this in your life and it just takes his nagging mom hearing a redacted version of his story to decide you’re the bad guy and to convince him to fight for custody.

For this reason, maybe OP should press criminal charges.

He knew. He didn't disclose. He recklessly endangered her health and the health of the baby.

I wouldn’t press charges proactively but I would document the crap out of the situation and keep it in my back pocket in case he tried for custody of any kind. Op, you don’t need a divorce and that’s fortunate, but you do need a consult with a family law attorney to figure out how to best protect your rights and your baby’s rights. Find someone who specializes in custody vs straight up divorce litigators. No mediation nonsense, you want an attorney. And you need to get a will in place and think about who to designate as a legal guardian.

You actually can’t sue for someone not telling you they have herpes. This still only applies to HIV. I actually looked it up a couple of years ago and I couldn’t believe it-but yeah.

Of course you can sue. Like most things it’s state specific but many states allow for claims to be brought for spreading infectious diseases.

Sure you can sue for anything-but it’s not actually against the law, so winning is the issue.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Which version of it? One version is very common, something like 75% of peopel have it. HSV-1 I think?

That isn’t the venereal disease

News flash you can get HSV-1 on your genitals just like you can get it on/in your mouth. Just because you can get HSV-1 from innocent contact as well as sex doesn’t make it any less of a venereal disease. Use google, it’s free.

70% of people don’t have genital herpes. Stop trying to normalize something so shameful.

I have no idea what you are talking about? I wasn’t trying to normalize anything? I was simply stating that HSV-1 or 2 can both present on the genitals-which is 100% true.

By the way, OP, in reading in your first post, it’s clear he had lied. He said he tested positive a while ago (before November) but didn’t notice it on tests. That is a blatant lie. You have to specifically request a genital herpes test because it’s never part of a standard STD screen.

And they usually test you when you’re suspected of having an actual outbreak. They can swab the lesions/sores and diagnose it accurately. Happened to someone I know. Tests are way more accurate now than they were 20+ years ago.

I bet he cheated on you recently. And of course he tried to get his lying story straight. The whispering in your ear is so weird and creepy.

A friend of mine has herpes. She had a vaginal birth, but she had to do whatever her OBgyn prescribed - can’t remember what it was. Meds, i imagine. But talk to your doc immediately, OP.

He needs to show you this “medical record,” so you can at least verify that he’s had it for years, versus a new outbreak.

Op, you aren't dramatic.
Your partner sucks.

Ladies, stop having babies with losers!
Your partner is literally the only family you'll ever choose. So choose well!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Herpes is contagious right before the lesion surfaces and until the skin is healed. I had a years long relationship with someone that had herpes and never contracted it. Did a lot of reading in regards to pregnancy.
It’s best to check in with your doctor on specifics related to pregnancy. If you are infected they might want you to have a c section.

I’m sorry this happened. Really dishonest and hurtful:harmful of him no matter the circumstances.

And the most contagious after initial infection-which is why I think OP’s fiancé was so freaked out. This is a new infection and he knows how contagious it is. He cheated and knows that will be obvious given the timeline.

💯

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Which version of it? One version is very common, something like 75% of peopel have it. HSV-1 I think?

That isn’t the venereal disease

News flash you can get HSV-1 on your genitals just like you can get it on/in your mouth. Just because you can get HSV-1 from innocent contact as well as sex doesn’t make it any less of a venereal disease. Use google, it’s free.

70% of people don’t have genital herpes. Stop trying to normalize something so shameful.

As someone who married a liar, walk away from him OP and don’t go back. Co-parent with him if you must, but don’t be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t tell you the truth. This is a giant red flag that you shouldn’t ignore.

To be fair this could be his first outbreak. Stress can exacerbate symptoms. He should have told you he was exposed years ago. No excuse. He might have been being super dumb/in denial about his own std status if largely asymptomatic. You response is valid.

I hope he wasn’t cheating though unsure it matters.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can find a way to drift away and not name him on the birth certificate, OP, you should. You don’t want a lying creep like this in your life and it just takes his nagging mom hearing a redacted version of his story to decide you’re the bad guy and to convince him to fight for custody.

For this reason, maybe OP should press criminal charges.

He knew. He didn't disclose. He recklessly endangered her health and the health of the baby.

I wouldn’t press charges proactively but I would document the crap out of the situation and keep it in my back pocket in case he tried for custody of any kind. Op, you don’t need a divorce and that’s fortunate, but you do need a consult with a family law attorney to figure out how to best protect your rights and your baby’s rights. Find someone who specializes in custody vs straight up divorce litigators. No mediation nonsense, you want an attorney. And you need to get a will in place and think about who to designate as a legal guardian.

You actually can’t sue for someone not telling you they have herpes. This still only applies to HIV. I actually looked it up a couple of years ago and I couldn’t believe it-but yeah.

Of course you can sue. Like most things it’s state specific but many states allow for claims to be brought for spreading infectious diseases.