Anonymous
Post 02/19/2026 10:14     Subject: Re:Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Just got the save the date for a wedding for my BIL's wedding in the midwest. Would you assume "Mr and Mrs Smith" on the envelope means just the couple and no kids? I expect the actual invitation will have more clarity with the RSVP options, but we have a baby who will be a little over a year old at the time of the wedding and I need to feel out child care options with my side of the family as early as possible if he isn't invited.

And yes, DH and I could just ask but that feels annoying. Maybe I'm over thinking it. I'm a little surprised this wedding would be no kids as the couple are both youngest children and all of their siblings have young kids and most live out of state like we do. Feels like a lot of important people will not be able to make and/or have to leave the reception early if no kids are allowed.


Lots of evening weddings do not include kids. Why would that mean people can't go or would need to leave early? If the wedding couple are actually important to you, babysitters are a thing.


Big narcissism here. If they invited guests, two of probably hundreds, are actually important to you, extend an invitation that they can accept without paying thousands for childcare (flying out another family member, funding an additional hotel room).

In my large family where people like each other but also enjoy adult only weddings, the most common solution has been for the bridal couple (or their parents) to rent an additional hotel room/suite, hire one or two local nannies, and the cousins below wedding age have a big pizza party and sleepover with movies.


No thanks. If something goes wrong I wouldn't want to be liable for a bad babysitter in that situation. Get your own better sitter or just skip. Has nothing to do with liking each other. In my family where we do like each other we have no problems finding our own sitters and making the wedding.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2026 08:58     Subject: Re:Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Just got the save the date for a wedding for my BIL's wedding in the midwest. Would you assume "Mr and Mrs Smith" on the envelope means just the couple and no kids? I expect the actual invitation will have more clarity with the RSVP options, but we have a baby who will be a little over a year old at the time of the wedding and I need to feel out child care options with my side of the family as early as possible if he isn't invited.

And yes, DH and I could just ask but that feels annoying. Maybe I'm over thinking it. I'm a little surprised this wedding would be no kids as the couple are both youngest children and all of their siblings have young kids and most live out of state like we do. Feels like a lot of important people will not be able to make and/or have to leave the reception early if no kids are allowed.


Lots of evening weddings do not include kids. Why would that mean people can't go or would need to leave early? If the wedding couple are actually important to you, babysitters are a thing.


Big narcissism here. If they invited guests, two of probably hundreds, are actually important to you, extend an invitation that they can accept without paying thousands for childcare (flying out another family member, funding an additional hotel room).

In my large family where people like each other but also enjoy adult only weddings, the most common solution has been for the bridal couple (or their parents) to rent an additional hotel room/suite, hire one or two local nannies, and the cousins below wedding age have a big pizza party and sleepover with movies.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2026 08:55     Subject: Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
Anonymous wrote:It's a baby. That's fine to bring a baby.


No, it’s not. What is completely fine is not to go. People who attempt to shame or guilt parents for not attending weddings without their children are just as bad as people who bring children to weddings, uninvited.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2026 17:07     Subject: Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
Anonymous wrote:It's a baby. That's fine to bring a baby.

No.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2026 16:58     Subject: Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
It's a baby. That's fine to bring a baby.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2026 16:02     Subject: Re:Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
Anonymous wrote:
It’s extremely rude in my opinion only to invite someone (a sibling no less) without their 1 yr old to an out of state wedding.


Fixed that for you. FWIW, I completely disagree with your opinion - and suspect yours will change if you ever host a formal wedding, especially in the evening, that is meant be to an environment for adults.


Hi SIL!
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2026 14:52     Subject: Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
Definitely don't bring a baby. A crying baby is a thing during the ceremony and at the party. Why do you think they don't invite kids in the first place?
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2026 13:59     Subject: Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
Anonymous wrote:Is your mom an interested or involved grandma? Have her travel with you to the wedding, and pay for her flight and her own room. Then she can watch the 1 year old while you do wedding stuff, but you'll see be around all weekend.



That's a lot of extra expenses.
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2026 13:59     Subject: Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
I'd skip a no kids wedding that involved that much travel. It's an invite not a summons.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2026 22:37     Subject: Re:Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
Why do people keep saying it’s ok to bring the baby since it’s a one year old. If it’s a child free wedding, it is not ok to bring children. Period. Not babies, not one year olds.

If it doesn’t work for OP, which is fine, then they should RSVP no. Not bring a child.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2026 22:36     Subject: Re:Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
It’s extremely rude in my opinion only to invite someone (a sibling no less) without their 1 yr old to an out of state wedding.


Fixed that for you. FWIW, I completely disagree with your opinion - and suspect yours will change if you ever host a formal wedding, especially in the evening, that is meant be to an environment for adults.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2026 22:28     Subject: Re:Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
Just got the save the date for a wedding for my BIL's wedding in the midwest. Would you assume "Mr and Mrs Smith" on the envelope means just the couple and no kids? I expect the actual invitation will have more clarity with the RSVP options, but we have a baby who will be a little over a year old at the time of the wedding and I need to feel out child care options with my side of the family as early as possible if he isn't invited.

And yes, DH and I could just ask but that feels annoying. Maybe I'm over thinking it. I'm a little surprised this wedding would be no kids as the couple are both youngest children and all of their siblings have young kids and most live out of state like we do. Feels like a lot of important people will not be able to make and/or have to leave the reception early if no kids are allowed.


Lots of evening weddings do not include kids. Why would that mean people can't go or would need to leave early? If the wedding couple are actually important to you, babysitters are a thing.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2026 21:38     Subject: Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
Is your mom an interested or involved grandma? Have her travel with you to the wedding, and pay for her flight and her own room. Then she can watch the 1 year old while you do wedding stuff, but you'll see be around all weekend.

Anonymous
Post 02/13/2026 21:23     Subject: Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Just got the save the date for a wedding for my BIL's wedding in the midwest. Would you assume "Mr and Mrs Smith" on the envelope means just the couple and no kids? I expect the actual invitation will have more clarity with the RSVP options, but we have a baby who will be a little over a year old at the time of the wedding and I need to feel out child care options with my side of the family as early as possible if he isn't invited.

And yes, DH and I could just ask but that feels annoying. Maybe I'm over thinking it. I'm a little surprised this wedding would be no kids as the couple are both youngest children and all of their siblings have young kids and most live out of state like we do. Feels like a lot of important people will not be able to make and/or have to leave the reception early if no kids are allowed.


Don’t ask. Take your baby with you. Don’t traumatize a 1 year old.


Traumatize? Are you always this unhinged?

OP, absolutely ask as it is extremely rude to assume and just take the child.


It’s what’s best for the child. The wedding is out of state. Op would have to leave her child for a few nights or hire a sitter in another town that the baby doesn’t know, or fly in and accommodate a sitter that the baby knows.


The wedding plans are not arranged, not should they be, around what is best for OP's child. OP can attend or not, without her child who was clearly not invited.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2026 21:05     Subject: Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Just got the save the date for a wedding for my BIL's wedding in the midwest. Would you assume "Mr and Mrs Smith" on the envelope means just the couple and no kids? I expect the actual invitation will have more clarity with the RSVP options, but we have a baby who will be a little over a year old at the time of the wedding and I need to feel out child care options with my side of the family as early as possible if he isn't invited.

And yes, DH and I could just ask but that feels annoying. Maybe I'm over thinking it. I'm a little surprised this wedding would be no kids as the couple are both youngest children and all of their siblings have young kids and most live out of state like we do. Feels like a lot of important people will not be able to make and/or have to leave the reception early if no kids are allowed.


Don’t ask. Take your baby with you. Don’t traumatize a 1 year old.


Traumatize? Are you always this unhinged?

OP, absolutely ask as it is extremely rude to assume and just take the child.


It’s what’s best for the child. The wedding is out of state. Op would have to leave her child for a few nights or hire a sitter in another town that the baby doesn’t know, or fly in and accommodate a sitter that the baby knows.


Or— crazy idea here— just RSVP “no”. You don’t bring an uninvited baby to a childfree wedding, then everyone who left their kid home is mad at the couple.