Anonymous wrote:Curious if others would be bummed by this. I asked the woman that I’ve been seeing for the past two months if she’d like to go out for Valentines. Told her I’d like to plan a surprise date for her. She told me she has plans to watch women’s basketball with her friends V day night and could we do it some other time.

She has a full life with a nice support system of friends, which I’ve always thought is great. We don’t get to spend as much time together as I’d like because she’s with them a lot, but I don’t mind compromising. For V day though this kinda bothers me. She likes romance and I always take her on thoughtful dates. I was really hoping to spend V-day together. I’m feeling like she isn’t prioritizing dating when I’m looking to settle down.

Are the two of you having sex? If not, why are you asking this woman to a date on Valentines Day? That has a lot of meaning to women. You should have thought about this better.

Also, as a man, having to perform on Valentines Day is a nightmare. Which is why I don't do it.

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, I don't think she likes you that much.

Yeah, she’s just not that in to you and is trying to let you down easy. Don’t be the stalker-type who doesn’t pick up on the signals.

She sounds great. By her age she’s been told a million times guys forget Valentine’s Day, guys can’t be bothered etc etc. She likely thinks she’s doing you a favor by taking the pressure off. I don’t care about Valentine’s Day and I seem to have married one of the few guys who likes the idea of a splashy v day. But I really don’t care about gifts or chocolate or flowers (well I do like flowers but anytime!) and it all comes across as a bit performative

If she's typically been single on v-day, she probably enjoys her Valentine's Day tradition. She may also dislike the holiday. I personally hate it so mine tend to be low-key. You guys are pretty new. Ask her out for Friday or Sunday and have a much better experience. And maybe next year, you two will be serious and have this figured out in advance.

I broke up with my last bF on New Year's Eve because we'd been dating since February and he made plans without me. I was willing to do what he wanted. He said he already had plans and I said those plans should have been discussed since we had been dating exclusively for almost a year. So I dumped him and hung out with friends. There were other major issues but this was the last straw. In your case, I'd stick around.