This is easy OP. You do both but you only stay at the reception for like 90 minutes. You don’t have to stay the entire time.

Anonymous wrote:any mom who cannot leave a tween either home alone or with a babysitter in order to go to a wedding has serious issues.

assuming tween is not violent, does not have a feeding tube, etc, - it's ridiculous that you are insisting you cannot leave her at home

you're just being a drama crybaby about a no kids wedding. grow up. the world does not revolve around your kid.

That’s not revolving around the child. You sound like you put you before your kids. I would not leave tween that long.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No ruder than them excluding one of your family members. [url]

False. I don’t want children at my wedding. They are too disruptive. And it costs too much.

[b]What a lucky man your imaginary husband is.

What is your problem? They made a valid point. Children aren’t invited on purpose.

If my kids aren’t welcome or family to a relatives wedding, neither am I and I’m not interested in going. This is not a young child.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No ruder than them excluding one of your family members. [url]

False. I don’t want children at my wedding. They are too disruptive. And it costs too much.

[b]What a lucky man your imaginary husband is.

What is your problem? They made a valid point. Children aren’t invited on purpose.

Anonymous wrote:Wow, way to teach kids that the world should revolve around them.

Personally I think this is a terrible idea and reinforcing some entitlement. It also comes off really passive aggressive to the hosts, since you're trying to punish them in a sense. But you do you.

Agree. Kids need a little (safe) friction in their lives, to do things they don't want, and to let their parents go off and do adult things.

Anonymous wrote:I’m calling troll at this point since OP has not returned to the thread to even clarify whether the kid is a 10 year old or a 12 year old. So many people have dug into their positions without knowing how old the kid actually is, other than they are under 13.

Does it matter the age. I have an older teen. I’d still skip it to be with them.

I would choose my child over a wedding. She should have been invited.

I’m calling troll at this point since OP has not returned to the thread to even clarify whether the kid is a 10 year old or a 12 year old. So many people have dug into their positions without knowing how old the kid actually is, other than they are under 13.

It sounds like skipping the ceremony would only save maybe 45 minutes (arriving early, 15 minute ceremony, 15 minute transition to reception), unless there is a big gap in between for pictures. Instead of skipping that, just leave the reception right after dinner. You’ll be home by 8:30 and gone from your kid for like 4 hours.

I would also consider going to the ceremony and then bailing prior to the reception if there is an “emergency” at home. It’s my impression that when you rsvp’d you thought you would have arrangements for your daughter and those fell through. As one without local family I understand how this happens.

People who are hostile to children don't make good life partners.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[b]No ruder than them excluding one of your family members. [url]

False. I don’t want children at my wedding. They are too disruptive. And it costs too much.

What a lucky man your imaginary husband is.

any mom who cannot leave a tween either home alone or with a babysitter in order to go to a wedding has serious issues.

assuming tween is not violent, does not have a feeding tube, etc, - it's ridiculous that you are insisting you cannot leave her at home

you're just being a drama crybaby about a no kids wedding. grow up. the world does not revolve around your kid.

Get a babysitter. Hire a college student or neighbor to stay with your daughter.

Your daughter needs to learn resilience.

Since you RSVPd yes then you honor your commitment.

Any other option is helicoptering.

Don't you want to spend adult time with your spouse?

ddi you respond yes to the invite? if so, you go to the whole event. Rude not to. Especially if dinner is being served. A tween can have a cool teen babysitter come over for a few hours. Enjoy a night out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow so many clueless rude people here!

Skipping wedding is rude - says you don’t care about the bride/groom and only want free food.

Canceling this late for this reason is rude.

Bringing an uninvited person is rude.


Doing anything other than declining without comment at the outset because you’re mad about the guest list is rude


It actually isn’t that hard to be polite, but wow!

The spouse is attending the ceremony and OP has a valid reason for not being able to make it. It’s fine- really. She isn’t going for “free food” and it imply someone would think she is is ridiculous.

Staying home to helicopter her daughter? If she can't go to the ceremony, she should not show up at the reception.