Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I call troll. You’re not using private school terminology.

It’s not “elementary.” It’s lower school. There are basically no private schools that only serve elementary grades.

It’s not “fundraising lady.” It’s Director of Development.

It’s not “principal.” It’s Head of School.

I’ll give you a C for your troll attempt. Research the terminology before you build your character.

FWIW I live outside of the DMV and your terminology is wrong for the private school in my city that I'm familiar with - they absolutely have a principal, and talk about their elementary school.

Anonymous wrote:The is a non-issue. Schools ask for money all the time and many parents avoid giving money all the time. The end.

Anonymous wrote:Op here — the people who do not believe that I am a real person are just proving my point. I am writing here because it seems insane and I am so confused.

Let me also say that I am not new to the private school world — my oldest is a freshmen in high school: she went all the way through another k-6 and then switched into another private for middle and high. Nobody has ever asked us for more than a token donation to the annual drive, which we give. (And we have at times been giving it at three separate schools so it adds up)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meetings like this happen at many of the top privates in this area, but rarely so awkwardly. Someone on the advancement committee is either new or got a bad tip about your capacity.

Give the amount that’s comfortable for you. If that means nothing, then give nothing.

If you try to apply to another private, that other private will ask your current school about the family’s involvement. Your current school will need to be honest in order to maintain its relationships with other schools.

This doesn’t mean large donors automatically get in elsewhere or not non-donors don’t get in. It’s part of the entire applicant package.

It's completely awful that just because a family may not give beyond their contractually obligated tuition, they might be refused at other schools. What sort of greedy bastards are they at these private schools?!?

Anonymous wrote:I work in fundraising for a large organization that uses several algorithms to assess wealth. It’s almost always based on real estate holdings, which drives me crazy, especially in this real estate market.

If I were the school’s fundraiser, I’d look at your family and say yeah, they live in a nice home but have 5 kids in private school and don’t appear to multi millionaires, based on your careers, and would not have asked for more than $10k. But I definitely know people who would have done what the school did. I think they are delusional.

I’ve never had anyone be offended by the amount I have asked, usually they just laugh and say something along the lines of being flattered to think they are so rich.

I’d send them an email and focus more on the fact that you are new to the school and that asking for a long term investment in the school at this point is very presumptuous.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meetings like this happen at many of the top privates in this area, but rarely so awkwardly. Someone on the advancement committee is either new or got a bad tip about your capacity.

Give the amount that’s comfortable for you. If that means nothing, then give nothing.

If you try to apply to another private, that other private will ask your current school about the family’s involvement. Your current school will need to be honest in order to maintain its relationships with other schools.

This doesn’t mean large donors automatically get in elsewhere or not non-donors don’t get in. It’s part of the entire applicant package.

So what you're saying is that families are kept hostage unless they pay ransom?

Makes you want to stick to public.