Anonymous wrote:Your husband sucks. He's only 22, pretty much still a kid, and It sounds like he's doing productive things, and isn't sitting around playing video games. I'd let him have a year off break.

22 years old with an expensive college degree is not a "kid."

Make him work, OP, full time. Waiting tables in the evenings would give him all day to look for a real job.

And tell him to knock off the "mental health" BS.

Many Young people also:
Don’t want roommates;
Don’t want a PT job while they find their career job;
Do the work of mock interviews;
May not have a college experience that resulted in Marketable Skills;
Cannot read or write well without software tools;
Cannot do math well;
Cannot have back & forth conversations;
Do not know how to meet new people;
Expect their parents to bankroll them indefinitely;
Have a $1000 iPhone and use 10+ hours a day of wifi and data. Doing nothing much.

Anonymous wrote:Your husband sucks. He's only 22, pretty much still a kid, and It sounds like he's doing productive things, and isn't sitting around playing video games. I'd let him have a year off break.

22 is old enough to go to war and lead a family. The idea that he's pretty much a kid is offensive and groundless.

That being said, older folks here have no idea how bad the world is for our youth. We've allowed the cost of living to rise far above wages because we've spent generations devaluing labor via an open border and offshoring. Young people don't want to work because the rewards aren't worth the grind. Further, we fail to acknowledge how unhealthy the "grindset" we've encourage since middle school through adulthood has become, not to mention counterproductive. Look at it this way: People work long hours in jobs for wages that can't even get a two-bedroom apartment anymore.

Finally, the fact this young man cites "mental health" as an excuse shows what kind of household in which he was raised. Instead of affirming masculine qualities like grit and strength, the son was probably taught to value empathy (instead of the far superior trait of sympathy). Well, OPs raised a wuss and are surprised to see the consequences. What's funny is the dad resents his son's wussiness but lacks the self-awareness to diagnose the issue so as to support the son to help him solve his predicament.

In short, the husband sucks but not in the way we all think.

Any updates?

OP, have you called your son and if so, how did it go?

I see a trend of the aspergers adult kid going to live with the aspergers adult parent or family member and they both spiral downward against society and become enabled and codependent.

Hope that isn’t the supposed grandfather and the 22 yo. Dysfunctional likes dysfunctional.

Your husband is right. A 22 year old man should be working at some kind of job and contributing money to the household.

On the plus side it may be a good thing for grandfather to have someone around for awhile and it is good that grandson is on good terms with his grandfather and grandfather is providing housing as a safety valve.

Any mental disorders at play here Op? ADHD, asd, anything?

Should have written up a contract to once he came home to “live.”
Absolutely needs to work, volunteer, pitch in, pay utilities & rent and the one pager needs to have a time limit. Never indefinitely. Not over 3-6 mos.

I assume everyone has money so the kid is playing a game of bully and chicken with yall.

Am surprised he wanted to stay with an estranged grandfather and not a college or has friend. Weird. Maybe they are two peas in a pod.

When you kick your 22 year old child out, you are saying this is NOT your home. Now your father said this IS your home and you can stay as long as you want. Thank goodness for your father - where did you expect your son to go? If I were your son, I would not come back to your home again.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband sucks. He's only 22, pretty much still a kid, and It sounds like he's doing productive things, and isn't sitting around playing video games. I'd let him have a year off break.

BS. That's why so many males are POS husbands, fathers, and basically worthless, because you women are sickening and baby these males. He is 22 years of age and old enough to drink, vote, smoke, drive, own a weapon, fight in a war, and fucckk. When do you consider males men, age 30, 35, 40.

Eh, 22 year olds are still children, male or female. Just because he's "old enough" arbitrarily and the government says he can do something doesn't mean anything.