Anonymous
Post 01/03/2026 23:33     Subject: Was I wrong to skip MIL birthday dinner?
No. I don't do last minute things.
Anonymous
Post 01/03/2026 23:21     Subject: Was I wrong to skip MIL birthday dinner?
Just tell her they had fluoride and couldn’t eat anyway and then drop their a$$3s off over there for the whole weekend coming up and go hang out with your husband. It’s still her birthday weekend and her month. Everybody happy.
Anonymous
Post 01/03/2026 21:12     Subject: Was I wrong to skip MIL birthday dinner?
MIL was wrong for making reservations including your family w out confirming first and

Your husband should have declined for the entire family.

Knowing… you wanted to relax - had a kid appointment & aren’t overly close w them.

Ick.
Anonymous
Post 01/03/2026 21:09     Subject: Re:Was I wrong to skip MIL birthday dinner?
Anonymous wrote:
This is totally on OP's MIL. It's extremely rude to ask a working family with small kids to just come with less than 24hrs notice. They had a dentist's appointment. I find it laughable that she's upset, and I wouldn't care one little bit about her drama. My MIL is a gracious person who gives us a lot more notice, and I am happy to oblige and celebrate her - she's a intelligent person who knows how to get people to yes.


This highlights why the MIL was flaky and in the wrong, but doesn’t get lame OP, super-lame DH, and checked-out FIL, off the hook. They all handled it poorly.
Anonymous
Post 01/03/2026 20:44     Subject: Was I wrong to skip MIL birthday dinner?
Anonymous wrote:I don't know that I think this is a huge deal given the late notice but I probably would have tried to go if it was me. It was her birthday, it wasn't a huge imposition. Husband should have left work though, that's on him.


For you!
Anonymous
Post 01/03/2026 20:41     Subject: Was I wrong to skip MIL birthday dinner?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I mean how hard would it have been to take 90 minutes to do this. Its a Friday, not a school day, and you had the rest of the weekend to "recover".


How hard would it have been for her HUSBAND to go? Come on.


I think they are both in the wrong. But I agree with the PP that says they would have gone for the sake of the MIL and grandkids relationship. Its less than a few hours.


Grandma is making a big deal out of nothing. She isn't ten years old, is she? As a grown up you can celebrate your birthday anytime. MIL sounds like a narcissist . Others aren't responsible for YOUR feelings
Anonymous
Post 01/03/2026 20:11     Subject: Was I wrong to skip MIL birthday dinner?
Why not have offered to get mil favorite flavor cake and meet them at their or your house after dinner. Lots of options or dinner the next day?
Anonymous
Post 01/03/2026 20:10     Subject: Re:Was I wrong to skip MIL birthday dinner?
Anonymous wrote:
This is totally on OP's MIL. It's extremely rude to ask a working family with small kids to just come with less than 24hrs notice. They had a dentist's appointment. I find it laughable that she's upset, and I wouldn't care one little bit about her drama. My MIL is a gracious person who gives us a lot more notice, and I am happy to oblige and celebrate her - she's a intelligent person who knows how to get people to yes.



Maybe she was hoping they’d suggest seeing her.
Anonymous
Post 01/03/2026 20:08     Subject: Re:Was I wrong to skip MIL birthday dinner?
Anonymous wrote:
This is totally on OP's MIL. It's extremely rude to ask a working family with small kids to just come with less than 24hrs notice. They had a dentist's appointment. I find it laughable that she's upset, and I wouldn't care one little bit about her drama. My MIL is a gracious person who gives us a lot more notice, and I am happy to oblige and celebrate her - she's a intelligent person who knows how to get people to yes.


Mine too! If my FIL had made dinner plans for her at a fancy restaurant and she knew she wanted her grandkids there, she’d offer to bring dinner to the house and help bathe the kids after, or at minimum, choose a kid-friendly spot and give us notice, or consult with us to choose a time that works.
Anonymous
Post 01/03/2026 19:54     Subject: Re:Was I wrong to skip MIL birthday dinner?

This is totally on OP's MIL. It's extremely rude to ask a working family with small kids to just come with less than 24hrs notice. They had a dentist's appointment. I find it laughable that she's upset, and I wouldn't care one little bit about her drama. My MIL is a gracious person who gives us a lot more notice, and I am happy to oblige and celebrate her - she's a intelligent person who knows how to get people to yes.

Anonymous
Post 01/03/2026 19:47     Subject: Was I wrong to skip MIL birthday dinner?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:“Sorry, Barb, next time let us know and we can make firm plans. Giving less than 24 hours of notice doesn’t work, clearly.”


lol… she should let you know about her birthday? It doesn’t change.

Not her birthday, her birthday PLANS.
Anonymous
Post 01/03/2026 17:59     Subject: Was I wrong to skip MIL birthday dinner?
Anonymous wrote:You’re blaming the wrong person.

Your husband created this situation and set it up so you were holding the rope and you could be his scapegoat. First, he failed to plan anything for his mother’s birthday. Second, he dumped you with telling his mom that she wouldn’t be seeing the grandchildren on her birthday.

That’s cowardly and manipulative—so much so that you’re annoyed with your in-laws. Your in-laws are annoyed with you. And nobody’s mad at the person responsible. He’s playing you.


Since MIL has a living, capable, spouse, her birthday festivities are not the responsibility of her adult child.
Anonymous
Post 01/03/2026 17:57     Subject: Was I wrong to skip MIL birthday dinner?
Nope. You’re fine OP.

FIL needs to make whatever plans are suitable for his wife’s birthday including sorting out the guest list. If he doesn’t that’s hardly your problem.
Anonymous
Post 01/03/2026 17:43     Subject: Was I wrong to skip MIL birthday dinner?
I probably would have gone, but ultimately it's wrong of your DH to have put you in this position.
Anonymous
Post 01/03/2026 17:41     Subject: Was I wrong to skip MIL birthday dinner?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Who is this dentist with late hours on a Friday? Do share, OP.

Saturdays, too!

https://www.dcpearlsdental.com/


Since they close at 530 plenty of time for a 6pm dinner.