My parents are like this OP. They were also not loving towards us when we were kids, so it's not just hat they are transferring their affection/nurturing from their kids to a pet. It's that they are giving this pet more love and affection than they ever gave me or my siblings or our kids. That is why it is hard.

Like literally watching my dad dote over his dog, prepare her meals, take her for walks, tell anyone who will listen how great she is, demand that my husband, my DC, and I all praise the dog and appreciate how great she is can be physically painful for me. Because my memory of him in childhood was being yelled at, hit, criticized, belittled, etc.

I have spoken about this with my therapist. It is not totally uncommon. You have to work through it and move forward.

There's a lot of other stuff that goes into it, but that's what it comes down to for me -- it feels hurtful. I actually do think their dog is very sweet! But it still hurts. That's all.

It's like small children with toys they talk about all the time OP.

Yep. My IL's are like this. Dogs are simpler to love and they are not well equipped for the complexities of human emotions. We try not to take it personally.

I've seen this with friends parents - it's an empty nest coping thing. The dog's going to die in a few years and they'll probably snap out of it.

My dad and stepmom send out a Xmas letter every year. No mention of grandkids several years running (and only 1 mention of my sibling) but the dog got two paragraphs

Anonymous wrote:I'll one up you...when my in laws visit they barely speak to the kids but coo over our cat. SIL posted photos of our cat on her insta but has never photographed her nephews, not once.

Some women would rail on her for posting pics of her kids online.

People can’t win these days. It’s better for all of to say why we’re hurt of to consider the alternative and just relax.

An what do you offer up to say or ask Op?

Or are all your calls “tests” where you sit in silence and see how they perform?

Anonymous wrote:The dogs probably provide a lot more love and comfort to them on a day to day basis. How often do you and your kids call your parents and ask about their lives?

I do call them and ask about their life. I call them 2-3 times a week and all they talk about is the dogs. They rarely ask about their kids.

Anonymous wrote:What is wrong with people here. My parents are more concerned about their dogs than their own kids or grandkids. They always talk about their stupid dogs and never even ask about the grandkids when I call them. They also prioritize their pets schedule and emotional well being over that of their own children. They don’t even take pictures of the grandkids when they visit but they are constantly posting photos of their dogs on social media.

Troll

Anonymous wrote:What is wrong with people here. My parents are more concerned about their dogs than their own kids or grandkids.
dOuBt IT, BUt YOU are IN CHARGE Of YOU AnD YOUR KIDS, NOT THEM.

They always talk about their stupid dogs and never even ask about the grandkids when I call them.
SO wHAT, TALK ABOUT YOUR LIFE.

They also prioritize their pets schedule and emotional well being over that of their own children. GET PROFESSIONAL HELP.

They don’t even take pictures of the grandkids when they visit but they are constantly posting photos of their dogs on social media.
hOW SHaLLOW THEY DONT HAVe THEIR PHONeS OUT MORE FOR SOCIAL MEdIA posting OF MINORS.

You are an adult not a dependent child or pet. Act like one.