Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We will inherit $7-10M from my in-laws. The only thing we are changing is skipping LTC insurance. We can self insure it if we half to, but in all likelihood will interest before it would happen.

And what are you going to do if your spouse divorces you? That money will not be yours. it is all his.

I hope you are insisting on saving for your retirement.

My spouse talks about “out” inheritance, too. My parents have it in a trust that goes to me then my kids. My spouse won't have access. Not sure they understand how trusts work.

Anonymous wrote:Not sure how a new car would even be exciting if you already have a high HHi and more money to come.
Only you know what excites you. I would take nice vacations, but I would also ask my best friends to come along.
I already barely work as this was more important than nice vacations.
Line up you favorite things to do and go from there.
I'm not going to lecture you about running out of money. You won't even run out of your own money as a cheap person.

Oh, no, the new car thing is great. I’m not a car person, tbh I don’t care about cars, but it’s wonderful to know I can just buy a new car with cash whenever I need one. I just buy a Toyota or whatever and only every 10ish years, but I still appreciate how much of a luxury it is to not sweat it.

Not sure how a new car would even be exciting if you already have a high HHi and more money to come.
Only you know what excites you. I would take nice vacations, but I would also ask my best friends to come along.
I already barely work as this was more important than nice vacations.
Line up you favorite things to do and go from there.
I'm not going to lecture you about running out of money. You won't even run out of your own money as a cheap person.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We will inherit $7-10M from my in-laws. The only thing we are changing is skipping LTC insurance. We can self insure it if we half to, but in all likelihood will interest before it would happen.

And what are you going to do if your spouse divorces you? That money will not be yours. it is all his.

I hope you are insisting on saving for your retirement.

Marital assets exceed $6M in our early 40's. So I'd still be fine. Just not as wealthy. But I'm not too concerned.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way. You never know what could happen.

+1

1. It’s not yours until it’s in your possession.

2. It’s a bit morbid to look forward to someone’s death

+1

And $6M isn't really "That much" when it comes to someone needing it to age well. At home care could easily run $300K/year and that's just for the help/care---you still have to pay for everything else associated with the parent's home if they want to age at home. So once you spend $350-400K/year much of that $6M could disappear.

OP here. Thanks to everyone for their responses. We will continue to stay the course, maybe splurge a bit here or there but continue to save. The $6M is just my portion. I have a sibling that would get the other 1/2 so that makes the care cost issue a bit more reasonable to manage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way. You never know what could happen.

+1

1. It’s not yours until it’s in your possession.

2. It’s a bit morbid to look forward to someone’s death

+1

And $6M isn't really "That much" when it comes to someone needing it to age well. At home care could easily run $300K/year and that's just for the help/care---you still have to pay for everything else associated with the parent's home if they want to age at home. So once you spend $350-400K/year much of that $6M could disappear.

If I knew that I would inherit $6 million, I would do things different. For example, I would eat all my vegetables & clean my room recognizing that this isn't the time to piss off Mom.

NO!

my dad said kids college would be paid for before he died. fast forward 20 years. mom doesn't pay for college, she decides to help with 5K per year ... maybe.

good thing we had our own money to pay for college!

no money is "your money" until it is in YOUR BANK ACCOUNT.

Anonymous wrote:$6m wouldn't be a material difference for me.

Well la ti frickin da. It would for most people. You know that, right?

My mom just passed. Last two years of assisted living then memory care was 300k, just fyi. While she was alive I mostly thought about whether she had enough for 10 years of high level memory care….did not really change anything, we lived moderately but not frugally and maxed retirement plus catch up without huge additional savings.

Now my personal net worth has more than doubled from 2 to maybe 5m and our family net worth now about 7m. Mostly it’s peace of mind: I can retire early, we can self insure ktc; maybe can afford to do some of the house projects; maybe don’t need to max retirement (but we are doing so anyway). spouse however talks about how much “we” have now and i am honestly stil Navigating whether/how to spend it on us/some upgrades as we have not been living large versus keeping separate because kids will get this inheritance separately/directly; dh will get “our/my” funds if I pass first.

So we lived as if nothing was coming but I feel a shift in mindset now that it’s happened.

i supported my parents through the last 25 years of their life; that was mostly 30k a year until the last several years which turned into more like $200k a year with memory care.

there is currently a generational trust in my spouses family but they are likely to live at least another 25 years. i view the actual inheritance to be the fact that we won't have to monetarily support them in old age. the primary lifestyle change we made is that we did decide to have children; i probably would not have done IVF if there had been any danger of needing to support the previous generation for significant years.

they have set up nice 529s for our children, and they buy the plane tickets for us to visit; those are the primary extent of our planning reliance on their money. (though we still contribute what our state allows for deductions to another 529). spouses tax-advantaged retirement funds are a little light for their age, which likely reflects some unconscious reliance on inheritance but their overall portfolio is fine. i'm contributing the max i can to mine including catch-up.

in short, my perspective is that there is no windfall coming, and i live my life accordingly. our newest car is almost 20 years old and that's completely fine. we have a decent UMC life, and i'm delighted to hopefully have decades where they can enjoy their grandchildren.

Anonymous wrote:We will inherit $7-10M from my in-laws. The only thing we are changing is skipping LTC insurance. We can self insure it if we half to, but in all likelihood will interest before it would happen.

And what are you going to do if your spouse divorces you? That money will not be yours. it is all his.

I hope you are insisting on saving for your retirement.

We will inherit $7-10M from my in-laws. The only thing we are changing is skipping LTC insurance. We can self insure it if we half to, but in all likelihood will interest before it would happen.

$6m wouldn't be a material difference for me.

If I knew it for a certainty, I would spend more and save less. I've always saved about 40% of my income. If I felt confident I didn't need to save that much, I would've taken more and better vacations.