Anonymous
Post 12/26/2025 13:53     Subject: I feel like I won the parenting wars
I don't think having your kid apply and be admitted to a school Early Decision is the flex this poster thinks it is. Just sayin.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2025 13:49     Subject: I feel like I won the parenting wars
I, personally, would be worried. If you have to drag your kid over the finish line that may not bode well for that first year of college.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2025 13:37     Subject: I feel like I won the parenting wars
You sound incredibly narcissistic, OP.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2025 13:22     Subject: Re:I feel like I won the parenting wars
I didn't feel that way until my kid graduated from college and got a FT job. When he was off my payroll is when I celebrated. The marathon hasn't ended yet so pace yourself.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2025 12:37     Subject: I feel like I won the parenting wars
ED admission means you are rich enough to buy a much easier admit to schools.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2025 12:36     Subject: I feel like I won the parenting wars
Congrats to your son. I’m sure his journey hasn’t been an easy one and I wish him well. However, please be aware that there are thousands of parents out there fighting different battles that no one knows about while navigating the same college admissions process- poverty, divorce, learning disabilities, chronic health issues, cultural/family expectations and demands, adapting to a new country/language, abuse, and the list goes on. I understand that most of the above aren’t things the DCUM crowd deals with…it’s best that we be mindful before lifting any trophies from our personal parenting wars.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2025 12:34     Subject: I feel like I won the parenting wars
Vodka and emergency room screams - highly unstable kid / home environment.

I just hope he thrives at the elite instead of becoming one of the suicide statistics.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2025 12:32     Subject: Re:I feel like I won the parenting wars
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So all along you thought it was a competition? Huh. Try some grace and humility.


Yeah, it would be easier to celebrate OP if she weren't so judgmental of others.


This is OP. I wasn't trying to be judgemental of others. Was more celebrating self and husband and son and hitting this milestone. And thinking there might be others feeling the same given the years long process. It never occurred to me that those not getting accepted in ed1 were "losers," most certainly, all will find great schools later in the process. We were fully prepared to keep going if ed1 didn't work out.


Then why did you have to mention your sibling’s different parenting style? You could’ve told your whole story with all the challenges you faced, how you responded and not mentioned that. Why was it included?


+100. The war seems to be against your sibling. Given that I’m not sure you’ve won anything. Just be happy for your life and your kid.


Wow. Readers are too sophisticated. The sibling reference was specifically with my husband’s sister in mind. He is estranged from her and she has criticized his (and I guess my) parenting over the years. So I guess there was some latent smugness hidden in my post. Wasn't expecting that to jump out. Just goes to show how easy it is for people to see others and read between the lines.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2025 12:29     Subject: I feel like I won the parenting wars
Anonymous wrote:"I feel like I won the parenting wars"

I don't get this. War against whom?


SIL, it seems.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2025 12:28     Subject: I feel like I won the parenting wars
Anonymous wrote:Agree - it feels like ANOTHER fake post. Anyone else feel most of posts recently are fake? They do a masterful job because most people respond as if they’re legitimate posts.


Have you hit the report button in the corner? Jeff has no problem checking if it’s a troll and will delete the thread. You don’t get to complain and do nothing about it.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2025 12:28     Subject: Re:I feel like I won the parenting wars
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So all along you thought it was a competition? Huh. Try some grace and humility.


Yeah, it would be easier to celebrate OP if she weren't so judgmental of others.


This is OP. I wasn't trying to be judgemental of others. Was more celebrating self and husband and son and hitting this milestone. And thinking there might be others feeling the same given the years long process. It never occurred to me that those not getting accepted in ed1 were "losers," most certainly, all will find great schools later in the process. We were fully prepared to keep going if ed1 didn't work out.


Then why did you have to mention your sibling’s different parenting style? You could’ve told your whole story with all the challenges you faced, how you responded and not mentioned that. Why was it included?


+100. The war seems to be against your sibling. Given that I’m not sure you’ve won anything. Just be happy for your life and your kid.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2025 12:25     Subject: I feel like I won the parenting wars
^^”fervid” should be fervor
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2025 12:24     Subject: I feel like I won the parenting wars
I don’t begrudge OP her moment of calm and kudos. Congrats, OP!

But the parenting wars thing…My kid is at a state flagship and I expect them to have opportunities for success and advancement. I don’t feel stressed that they’re not at an ivy or top 10. There are so many paths and timelines to success. So the fervid about positioning kids into a top 10 school is pretty foreign to me.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2025 12:23     Subject: I feel like I won the parenting wars
Anonymous wrote:But you didn't win the social intelligence wars, that's for sure.


😆😆Apparently not.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2025 12:14     Subject: I feel like I won the parenting wars
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This post seems fake and designed to elicit outrage.


It's not fake. Definitely not trying to elicit outrage. The process to get one's child successfully through high school and into the best university where they will have the most opportunities lasts for years. I imagine many parents feel this way when their child is accepted to elite schools. It is a marker of a certain level of accomplishment. Especially if there were bumps along the way. Why would this post elicit outrage?


Because your kid seems kind of f**ked up and it appears you helicoptered him to a top 10 school.

Most people reading your post (especially someone like me with an adjusted kid at a top 10 school) don’t see your kid having a great experience.

You should be far more concerned about kids mental health than the fact that kid got into an elite school. It does not seem like you are or, to the extent you are, you are thinking opportunities and respurces provided by an elite school are best for his mental health issues. 9 times out of 10, that is not the case.


This.

I was this kid. 1 trip to the hospital in HS for alcohol poisoning. Multiple times throwing up in front of my parents after drinking too much. But they thought it was all ok because I was getting good grades still and doing my sport. They said “no more drinking”, I said ok, and they believed me as if they never heard of alcoholism.

Fast forward to college and there was another - worse - trip to the hospital and an overnight in jail. That’s what finally made me realize no one else was going to care about me - I needed to get my shit together myself.

BUT college isn’t the end, it’s the beginning. His mental health issues are not gone, they’re there under the surface. You need to be tuned in more than ever and make sure he has the right supports where he will be.

I think this is the problem with the younger generations. Parents have taught their kids that getting into college is the end game. It is not. It’s just the beginning.


OP here. Thank you so much for sharing this! Your words are motivation to keep supporting our son. He is similar to you in that he excels in his varsity sport and has great grades, but there is always more going on. It is always easy to assume things are going well, because we as parents want to believe that. But staying on top of substances, mental health, stress is important, as you mention.

We plan to continue with therapy. And of course just talking as much as possible. Encouraging reduced stress which seems as though it can get out of control at these schools. You are right, this is just the beginning.


If your kid has this many issues maybe your siblings way was better. That’s some serious stuff.