Anonymous
Post 12/17/2025 22:04     Subject: Feeling so defeated after deferral. This is a good year for ED.

Anonymous wrote:The people who are complaining about cheaters - your kids are probably cheating too FYI.


This is the kind of response one would expect from a parent who knows their kid is a cheater. Own it. There are many kids who do not cheat and they hate the cheaters and all know who they are.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2025 21:09     Subject: Feeling so defeated after deferral. This is a good year for ED.

The people who are complaining about cheaters - your kids are probably cheating too FYI.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2025 21:07     Subject: Feeling so defeated after deferral. This is a good year for ED.

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This thread is really sad. Nobody taking the high road. Everybody saying that the process was unfair and favored a bunch of cheaters or the other agenda. You’re all pathetic.



What's unfair is your response to other posters. Gratuitous cheating is real in many schools right now. If you don't have cheating at your DC's school, or your DC is not affected by it, you are lucky. If you do, and it helps you to just ignore it, that's fine too. No one here claimed that all kids are cheaters and the whole process is unfair. Parts of it are, though, and people are allowed to feel bad when their kids are undermined. Denying reality and judging others who are dealing with it is hardly taking the high road.


+1

I'm one of those PPs. I've never complained that the process is unfair.

I just called out the outcome of a known cheater at our (non DC-area) school.

That's a real-life example of one, not an indictment of the process.


Again, I ask, if the cheating is “known” and “documented,” how has the cheater escaped any consequence? Seems like an issue with your high school.


It’s an issue with a lot of high schools. Recently had a convo with a relative who teaches English at a public school who told me he knows some papers are AI but the kids deny, deny, deny and the tools to evade the AI detectors always seem to be one step ahead. He said he can’t do anything unless the kids confess and they have learned never to confess.


Nothing is stopping him from giving a low grade.


You’d be surprised how difficult it is to give a low grade , especially with parents and admin involved
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2025 21:04     Subject: Feeling so defeated after deferral. This is a good year for ED.

Anonymous wrote:Is it completely okay if DC wants to change college list to targets and eliminate reaches? Or ED2 to a target?

Will they regret their decision a year later? How should we parents advise them?


This is the approach we are considering after an ED rejection (reach), EA deferral (target) and EA acceptance with substantial merit scholarship (safety). I don’t know that continuing to pursue more reaches and dragging this process on for months of uncertainty is worth it for our student. We’re confident they’ll be just as happy and successful at their safety. May try for two more targets to see how things shake out, but we’d honestly be pleased if they decided to attend the safety, as that college is a really good fit and strong in their academic area of interest.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2025 20:56     Subject: Re:Feeling so defeated after deferral. This is a good year for ED.

Ugh.

It’s purgatory.

We went through it with our first and now have to go through it with our second.

It was such a long drawn out process in 2024….all the way to Mid-May with WLs.

Arghhhhhhhhhh

Anonymous
Post 12/17/2025 20:56     Subject: Feeling so defeated after deferral. This is a good year for ED.

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's been a tough 48 hours in our house as DD deals with ED disappointment. It is made worse that her classmate who is known to cheat got in. Trying to explain that cheaters sometimes do win really stings.


That does sting. Sometimes it just sucks.

How did the classmate cheat? Had someone take SATs for them? Made up various ECs?
Jus wondering.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2025 20:47     Subject: Feeling so defeated after deferral. This is a good year for ED.

Is it completely okay if DC wants to change college list to targets and eliminate reaches? Or ED2 to a target?

Will they regret their decision a year later? How should we parents advise them?
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2025 16:58     Subject: Feeling so defeated after deferral. This is a good year for ED.

After an ED1 deferral at T10, DC took a hard look at the application. Looked critically for major alignment and thought about how the application would compare to peers.

Pivoted a small bit on a major at certain selective schools (more interdisciplinary, less pure STEM) and had much, much better luck. In to 3 T20s that cycle in RD (was rejected from the ED1 in RD) - but all of those applications had stronger narrative coherence and strategy.

While the main personal essay wasn't redone (it prob should have been!), all of the supp essays were brand new, tighter, and polished by an editor. Same for activities description, honors/awards, Additional Info, and even the little Future Plans section.

At Ivy. Doing well as a sophomore.
It works out - put in the work over the next 2-2.5 weeks!!! Get outside help if you can't help.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2025 15:52     Subject: Feeling so defeated after deferral. This is a good year for ED.

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This thread is really sad. Nobody taking the high road. Everybody saying that the process was unfair and favored a bunch of cheaters or the other agenda. You’re all pathetic.



What's unfair is your response to other posters. Gratuitous cheating is real in many schools right now. If you don't have cheating at your DC's school, or your DC is not affected by it, you are lucky. If you do, and it helps you to just ignore it, that's fine too. No one here claimed that all kids are cheaters and the whole process is unfair. Parts of it are, though, and people are allowed to feel bad when their kids are undermined. Denying reality and judging others who are dealing with it is hardly taking the high road.


+1

I'm one of those PPs. I've never complained that the process is unfair.

I just called out the outcome of a known cheater at our (non DC-area) school.

That's a real-life example of one, not an indictment of the process.


Again, I ask, if the cheating is “known” and “documented,” how has the cheater escaped any consequence? Seems like an issue with your high school.


It’s an issue with a lot of high schools. Recently had a convo with a relative who teaches English at a public school who told me he knows some papers are AI but the kids deny, deny, deny and the tools to evade the AI detectors always seem to be one step ahead. He said he can’t do anything unless the kids confess and they have learned never to confess.


Nothing is stopping him from giving a low grade.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2025 15:35     Subject: Feeling so defeated after deferral. This is a good year for ED.

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Last year- my kid rejected ED. Deferred ED2. Deferred at 2 of his top EA schools. Got into great schools in RD and ended up with 2 amazing final options- is thriving at one of those (ED2 deferral school). It’s a slog but stick with it!


My kid was deferred from two schools this week and we are questioning the kid's everything now (choice of major, essays, etc.). Did your child revamp their approach at all between the deferrals and RD?


ED and ED2 schools were highly rejective so a total revamp was not needed. In the numbers game, it made sense.
They ended up adding a few additional schools to their list. Honestly, in the end they applied to way too many schools. Looking back, I don't think they would have wanted to attend at least 1/3 of them but I think at the time they felt like it was an additional insurance if the pattern continued and we were okay with them adding more schools. The earlier school's essays were recycled into most other school's prompts so each additional school wasn't a crazy additional amount of work.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2025 15:31     Subject: Feeling so defeated after deferral. This is a good year for ED.

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This thread is really sad. Nobody taking the high road. Everybody saying that the process was unfair and favored a bunch of cheaters or the other agenda. You’re all pathetic.



What's unfair is your response to other posters. Gratuitous cheating is real in many schools right now. If you don't have cheating at your DC's school, or your DC is not affected by it, you are lucky. If you do, and it helps you to just ignore it, that's fine too. No one here claimed that all kids are cheaters and the whole process is unfair. Parts of it are, though, and people are allowed to feel bad when their kids are undermined. Denying reality and judging others who are dealing with it is hardly taking the high road.


+1

I'm one of those PPs. I've never complained that the process is unfair.

I just called out the outcome of a known cheater at our (non DC-area) school.

That's a real-life example of one, not an indictment of the process.


Again, I ask, if the cheating is “known” and “documented,” how has the cheater escaped any consequence? Seems like an issue with your high school.


It’s an issue with a lot of high schools. Recently had a convo with a relative who teaches English at a public school who told me he knows some papers are AI but the kids deny, deny, deny and the tools to evade the AI detectors always seem to be one step ahead. He said he can’t do anything unless the kids confess and they have learned never to confess.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2025 14:53     Subject: Feeling so defeated after deferral. This is a good year for ED.

My kid for HS '23 had 4 deferrals to RD from EA. Unfortunately it happens.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2025 14:49     Subject: Feeling so defeated after deferral. This is a good year for ED.

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This thread is really sad. Nobody taking the high road. Everybody saying that the process was unfair and favored a bunch of cheaters or the other agenda. You’re all pathetic.



What's unfair is your response to other posters. Gratuitous cheating is real in many schools right now. If you don't have cheating at your DC's school, or your DC is not affected by it, you are lucky. If you do, and it helps you to just ignore it, that's fine too. No one here claimed that all kids are cheaters and the whole process is unfair. Parts of it are, though, and people are allowed to feel bad when their kids are undermined. Denying reality and judging others who are dealing with it is hardly taking the high road.


+1

I'm one of those PPs. I've never complained that the process is unfair.

I just called out the outcome of a known cheater at our (non DC-area) school.

That's a real-life example of one, not an indictment of the process.


Again, I ask, if the cheating is “known” and “documented,” how has the cheater escaped any consequence? Seems like an issue with your high school.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2025 14:46     Subject: Feeling so defeated after deferral. This is a good year for ED.

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Last year- my kid rejected ED. Deferred ED2. Deferred at 2 of his top EA schools. Got into great schools in RD and ended up with 2 amazing final options- is thriving at one of those (ED2 deferral school). It’s a slog but stick with it!


My kid was deferred from two schools this week and we are questioning the kid's everything now (choice of major, essays, etc.). Did your child revamp their approach at all between the deferrals and RD?



Mine did and was quite successful.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2025 14:16     Subject: Feeling so defeated after deferral. This is a good year for ED.

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This thread is really sad. Nobody taking the high road. Everybody saying that the process was unfair and favored a bunch of cheaters or the other agenda. You’re all pathetic.



What's unfair is your response to other posters. Gratuitous cheating is real in many schools right now. If you don't have cheating at your DC's school, or your DC is not affected by it, you are lucky. If you do, and it helps you to just ignore it, that's fine too. No one here claimed that all kids are cheaters and the whole process is unfair. Parts of it are, though, and people are allowed to feel bad when their kids are undermined. Denying reality and judging others who are dealing with it is hardly taking the high road.


Oh, please. Your response to your kid's deferral by calling others cheaters is on the level of a fourth grader.


Ignore this troll, PP. They are clearly just trying to spin you up.

It sucks when cheaters “win”. Look at how shtty we all feel with the biggest fattest cheater in the White House right now.



No, I'm not. I'm calling out your childish behavior.