Anonymous
12/19/2025 02:49
Subject: Re:I am a loser
Anonymous wrote:Nobody is a loser.
Except Hitler and Trump. š”š”
But not you OP, and I am grateful that you are not like them.
Anonymous
12/19/2025 02:46
Subject: Re:I am a loser
Your post illustrates the inherent human need for validation from others.
Letās face it - - all of us crave acceptance from our families, friendsā¦..even people we do not even care about or know.
And that desire to be accepted by others, near ā far is what causes us to feel as though we fall so short since others have their bars for us set so high.
When you really think about it, we are more critical of others than we are of ourselves.
So we tend to project higher standards for others >> standards we would never set for ourselves.
OP, your self~worth is ALL YOURS.
It should come from you + only you.
And if you really think hard, I say you can count on both hands good qualities and blessings that you possess.
Do you have a warm bed to sleep in every night?
Access to clean/hot water??
Do you have clothes in your closet?
Ample food in your kitchen??
Are you healthy and mobile?
Even seemingly simple, small things are things that someoneā¦..somewhere would be envious of you.
Focus on the positive okay?
And check back w/us when you are feeling better because you willā£ļøā„ļøā„ļøā„ļø
Letās face it - - all of us crave acceptance from our families, friendsā¦..even people we do not even care about or know.
And that desire to be accepted by others, near ā far is what causes us to feel as though we fall so short since others have their bars for us set so high.
When you really think about it, we are more critical of others than we are of ourselves.
So we tend to project higher standards for others >> standards we would never set for ourselves.
OP, your self~worth is ALL YOURS.
It should come from you + only you.
And if you really think hard, I say you can count on both hands good qualities and blessings that you possess.
Do you have a warm bed to sleep in every night?
Access to clean/hot water??
Do you have clothes in your closet?
Ample food in your kitchen??
Are you healthy and mobile?
Even seemingly simple, small things are things that someoneā¦..somewhere would be envious of you.
Focus on the positive okay?
And check back w/us when you are feeling better because you willā£ļøā„ļøā„ļøā„ļø
Anonymous
12/18/2025 23:52
Subject: I am a loser
OP, if you are kind and honest, you are a successful human. They donāt carve our net worth into our headstones.
Anonymous
12/18/2025 23:28
Subject: Re:I am a loser
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You are not alone in your loserdom.
1. Sometimes, my family forgets to invite me to family events. Occasionally one person will ask "Are you going to David's birthday party?" and I have to respond that no, I wasn't invited. Other times I will be at one thing and they'll be talking about something else and I'll realize they all got together and did that without me.
2. Nobody has ever said they were proud of me. To be fair, there's nothing to be proud of. I'm an assistant at a company and do a decent enough job that I get yearly raises, but I will never get promoted and can't advance. I never have anything to brag about.
3. I am both fat and ugly. Obviously if I could lose weight I would, but I'd still be stuck with the ugly part. My hair always looks awful. Now I'm in perimenopause (I think) and can't work myself up to calling a dr to get an appointment to ask if HRT is right for me bc doctors always dismiss fat ugly people and I don't have it in me to deal with that again.
4. I hate where I live, can't make it better and can't afford to move.
You have a rather defeatist attitude, no offense but no one is so fat and ugly that they own family forgets about them.
Iāll give you the fat and ugly doctors angle, Iāve never been ugly but Iām old now, not too wrinkly yet, but I definitely went through a period where I got a bit fat which made me less attractive.
I noticed doctors didnāt fawn all over me the way they did when I was younger and attractive, no one did really, so I leaned into throwing my weight around and not shrinking in my skin. That worked well for me.
When I got tired of being fat I did the telehealth semi-glutide thing, lost the weight and felt betterā¦
Try the telehealth thing, specifically for glps, they deal with fat people all day, and dont care, in fact the fatter you are the more money they make. So drop the weight, but as for ugly there is nothing to be done.
The bright side is perimenopause means you are well on your way to being invisible anyway, so soon your looks wonāt matter at all. Ugly, or not ugly, it wonāt matter either way you will be just another invisible middle aged woman.
Drop the weight though because being fat isnāt good for you!
I have lived my entire life with nobody fawning over me. I didn't used to be pretty - I was kind of cute until about age 4, and then no longer. I've always been invisible. GLP is not the route for me - nobody can answer how you avoid gaining all the weight back once you go off it, and I don't want to yo-yo with my weight. What you call my defeatist attitude is based on almost half a century of society telling me in all kinds of various ways that I am at best forgotten and at worst repulsive.
NP.
You do realize youāre self sabotaging by refusing to try glp right?
Losing weight isn't going to solve her problems.
Anonymous
12/18/2025 23:24
Subject: Re:I am a loser
Anonymous wrote:You do not know that. You are projecting onto other people imagining they think what you think about yourself āāI am not interestingāPeople don't really think much of me, and for good reason.
I disagree with you. Your writing is grammatically correct, so you have intelligence and education.
What you think is uninteresting could be interesting to others if you would talk with people.
Why donāt you try this: go to a nursing home where old people live uninteresting lives there but some of them fought in WW2, Korea, or Vietnam. Some ladies there used to be artists, dancers, or were active in political campaigns of days gone by.
Hear what they have to say. They would be happy to hear about your life too.
I know this because I have relatives who have worked in a nursing home.
This was a really nice post. Thanks for that.
Anonymous
12/18/2025 22:51
Subject: Re:I am a loser
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You are not alone in your loserdom.
1. Sometimes, my family forgets to invite me to family events. Occasionally one person will ask "Are you going to David's birthday party?" and I have to respond that no, I wasn't invited. Other times I will be at one thing and they'll be talking about something else and I'll realize they all got together and did that without me.
2. Nobody has ever said they were proud of me. To be fair, there's nothing to be proud of. I'm an assistant at a company and do a decent enough job that I get yearly raises, but I will never get promoted and can't advance. I never have anything to brag about.
3. I am both fat and ugly. Obviously if I could lose weight I would, but I'd still be stuck with the ugly part. My hair always looks awful. Now I'm in perimenopause (I think) and can't work myself up to calling a dr to get an appointment to ask if HRT is right for me bc doctors always dismiss fat ugly people and I don't have it in me to deal with that again.
4. I hate where I live, can't make it better and can't afford to move.
You have a rather defeatist attitude, no offense but no one is so fat and ugly that they own family forgets about them.
Iāll give you the fat and ugly doctors angle, Iāve never been ugly but Iām old now, not too wrinkly yet, but I definitely went through a period where I got a bit fat which made me less attractive.
I noticed doctors didnāt fawn all over me the way they did when I was younger and attractive, no one did really, so I leaned into throwing my weight around and not shrinking in my skin. That worked well for me.
When I got tired of being fat I did the telehealth semi-glutide thing, lost the weight and felt betterā¦
Try the telehealth thing, specifically for glps, they deal with fat people all day, and dont care, in fact the fatter you are the more money they make. So drop the weight, but as for ugly there is nothing to be done.
The bright side is perimenopause means you are well on your way to being invisible anyway, so soon your looks wonāt matter at all. Ugly, or not ugly, it wonāt matter either way you will be just another invisible middle aged woman.
Drop the weight though because being fat isnāt good for you!
I have lived my entire life with nobody fawning over me. I didn't used to be pretty - I was kind of cute until about age 4, and then no longer. I've always been invisible. GLP is not the route for me - nobody can answer how you avoid gaining all the weight back once you go off it, and I don't want to yo-yo with my weight. What you call my defeatist attitude is based on almost half a century of society telling me in all kinds of various ways that I am at best forgotten and at worst repulsive.
NP.
You do realize youāre self sabotaging by refusing to try glp right?
Anonymous
12/18/2025 22:48
Subject: I am a loser
I am really sorry you are feeling this way OP. I have been there. I bet you are actually really great. Sending a virtual hug. This can be a really brutal time of year.
Anonymous
12/18/2025 22:27
Subject: I am a loser
If youāre not hurting people, youāre not a loser.
Read the news to see mountains of evidence that people who seem successful, charismatic, and talented are actually some of the biggest losers in the world.
Read the news to see mountains of evidence that people who seem successful, charismatic, and talented are actually some of the biggest losers in the world.
Anonymous
12/18/2025 21:52
Subject: Re:I am a loser
Nobody is a loser.
Anonymous
12/18/2025 21:45
Subject: Re:I am a loser
You do not know that. You are projecting onto other people imagining they think what you think about yourself āāI am not interestingāPeople don't really think much of me, and for good reason.
I disagree with you. Your writing is grammatically correct, so you have intelligence and education.
What you think is uninteresting could be interesting to others if you would talk with people.
Why donāt you try this: go to a nursing home where old people live uninteresting lives there but some of them fought in WW2, Korea, or Vietnam. Some ladies there used to be artists, dancers, or were active in political campaigns of days gone by.
Hear what they have to say. They would be happy to hear about your life too.
I know this because I have relatives who have worked in a nursing home.