Anonymous wrote:Today’s my birthday. I told my boyfriend a week in advance I’d like him to come over today and spend time at my place for my bday. he said he didn’t know if he was free.

I was disappointed and have been taking space this week assuming we won’t see each other. he texted this afternoon asking if I could come over because he wanted to cook me a nice bday dinner.
I didn’t see it til a few hours later and said ok.

Then he says he hadn’t heard from me all day so now he made plans to play video games with his friends. I deserve better.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here with an update. So the day after my birthday my boyfriend still didn’t make time to see me. I’m over it at this point. I haven’t spoken to him since. He reached out today to ask what’s wrong. Is it acceptable for me to just ghost him? I have never ghosted in my life but I feel exhausted. If he didn’t have the energy to spend a little time with me for my birthday, then I don’t feel like I have the energy to respond to him.

If ghosting will keep you from getting sucked into the back and forth arguing, then go for it. Obviously a real break-up is better, but too often, men don't take no for an answer and will try to gaslight you. "You're breaking up with me because I saw my friends?!" Not worth the stress.

If you can be firm and not get sucked into an argument, call him, break up, get off the phone, block. But if not, ghosting is fine.

Yup, all of this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here with an update. So the day after my birthday my boyfriend still didn’t make time to see me. I’m over it at this point. I haven’t spoken to him since. He reached out today to ask what’s wrong. Is it acceptable for me to just ghost him? I have never ghosted in my life but I feel exhausted. If he didn’t have the energy to spend a little time with me for my birthday, then I don’t feel like I have the energy to respond to him.

Don’t ghost. Just say this relationship isn’t working for me, have a good life and block.

This. The sort of person who needs to be told that he screwed up something this basic isn't likely to take it well or learn from it. Don't waste your time. Just say something neutral, like pp suggested, and then block/delete. Reclaim your time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here with an update. So the day after my birthday my boyfriend still didn’t make time to see me. I’m over it at this point. I haven’t spoken to him since. He reached out today to ask what’s wrong. Is it acceptable for me to just ghost him? I have never ghosted in my life but I feel exhausted. If he didn’t have the energy to spend a little time with me for my birthday, then I don’t feel like I have the energy to respond to him.

Don’t ghost. Just say this relationship isn’t working for me, have a good life and block.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here with an update. So the day after my birthday my boyfriend still didn’t make time to see me. I’m over it at this point. I haven’t spoken to him since. He reached out today to ask what’s wrong. Is it acceptable for me to just ghost him? I have never ghosted in my life but I feel exhausted. If he didn’t have the energy to spend a little time with me for my birthday, then I don’t feel like I have the energy to respond to him.

If ghosting will keep you from getting sucked into the back and forth arguing, then go for it. Obviously a real break-up is better, but too often, men don't take no for an answer and will try to gaslight you. "You're breaking up with me because I saw my friends?!" Not worth the stress.

If you can be firm and not get sucked into an argument, call him, break up, get off the phone, block. But if not, ghosting is fine.

Anonymous wrote:OP here with an update. So the day after my birthday my boyfriend still didn’t make time to see me. I’m over it at this point. I haven’t spoken to him since. He reached out today to ask what’s wrong. Is it acceptable for me to just ghost him? I have never ghosted in my life but I feel exhausted. If he didn’t have the energy to spend a little time with me for my birthday, then I don’t feel like I have the energy to respond to him.

Anonymous wrote:OP here with an update. So the day after my birthday my boyfriend still didn’t make time to see me. I’m over it at this point. I haven’t spoken to him since. He reached out today to ask what’s wrong. Is it acceptable for me to just ghost him? I have never ghosted in my life but I feel exhausted. If he didn’t have the energy to spend a little time with me for my birthday, then I don’t feel like I have the energy to respond to him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Today’s my birthday. I told my boyfriend a week in advance I’d like him to come over today and spend time at my place for my bday. he said he didn’t know if he was free.

I was disappointed and have been taking space this week assuming we won’t see each other. he texted this afternoon asking if I could come over because he wanted to cook me a nice bday dinner.
I didn’t see it til a few hours later and said ok.

Then he says he hadn’t heard from me all day so now he made plans to play video games with his friends. I deserve better.

Girl let me explain what happened here.

First, you are dating a dusty-@$$ manchild. He is not going to change. It is dating 101 that you do something nice on your partner’s birthday. He knows this.

“I don’t know if I’m free” means he was free but was waiting to see if a better option came along.

You distanced yourself, which made him panic and try to reel you back in. So then he pulls the “I want to cook for you!” BS.

He was NEVER gonna cook for you. Even if you had responded immediately, he would have done the “oops sorry didn’t see your response!”

There are only 2 correct options here:

1. You dump him (preferred)
2. On your birthday, because he said he was busy, you should have put on your skankiest dress, gone out with your girlfriends, and post a ton of pictures to your IG stories.

May not be too late for that. Get dressed up and take a mirror selfie, even if you don’t go out. Then turn your phone off the rest of the night. Leave it off until at least 2pm tomorrow. Then when you see his texts of “where are you?” just respond “sorry crazy night!”

Then dump him, LOL. Take it from an old lady, men don’t suddenly change. The best thing to do is end things the second they stop putting in effort.

Anonymous wrote:OP here with an update. So the day after my birthday my boyfriend still didn’t make time to see me. I’m over it at this point. I haven’t spoken to him since. He reached out today to ask what’s wrong. Is it acceptable for me to just ghost him? I have never ghosted in my life but I feel exhausted. If he didn’t have the energy to spend a little time with me for my birthday, then I don’t feel like I have the energy to respond to him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yea, this is your fault. It's your birthday and you didn't look at your phone for hours to see if you'd hear from your boyfriend? That's odd.

No. It's his fault. She communicated, a week ago, that she'd like to spend time. He didn't make it a priority. He waited until the day of, probably to see if something better would come along. He's 100% treating her like he could take it/leave it.

Leave him, OP. He sucks, and you do deserve better. Don't settle.

That's how one becomes a bitter old cat lady yelling at kids on their lawn.

Anonymous wrote:OP here with an update. So the day after my birthday my boyfriend still didn’t make time to see me. I’m over it at this point. I haven’t spoken to him since. He reached out today to ask what’s wrong. Is it acceptable for me to just ghost him? I have never ghosted in my life but I feel exhausted. If he didn’t have the energy to spend a little time with me for my birthday, then I don’t feel like I have the energy to respond to him.

Anonymous wrote:OP here with an update. So the day after my birthday my boyfriend still didn’t make time to see me. I’m over it at this point. I haven’t spoken to him since. He reached out today to ask what’s wrong. Is it acceptable for me to just ghost him? I have never ghosted in my life but I feel exhausted. If he didn’t have the energy to spend a little time with me for my birthday, then I don’t feel like I have the energy to respond to him.

Anonymous wrote:If this dude really loved you, he would’ve made plans in advance and followed through. Men really make an effort when they care. He doesn’t. It stings but best to open your eyes and find someone who makes you feel loved, not like an afterthought.