Anonymous
Post 11/29/2025 23:22     Subject: DS upset about loans
People here have to be joking? You’re telling me an everyday college student now can’t make 20 damn thousand a year?

If they live in a liberal state, they could be making 30-40 if they tried. It’s actually pathetic seeing a bunch of parents act as if having to work is relegating punishment on a kid who chose to go to a nice, fancy college.
Anonymous
Post 11/29/2025 23:19     Subject: DS upset about loans
Anonymous wrote:I was on financial aid in college and we were required to work during the year and definitely they didn’t budget for stuff like eating out (just the college meal plan). It was irritating because the meal plan food was sooooo bad and all the rich kids just ordered in food every night and I was literally hungry a lot. But I still didn’t complain to my parents because I had asked to go to that school, and I found friends who were like me whose parents weren’t paying for the nightly pizza or Thai food order. (We were psyched for 25 cent ramen noodles, and we all had jobs 8-10 hours per week).

I would have a hard convo with him and say — look, this is what we can afford without compromising our retirement. Trust us, you do not want us to be a burden on YOU in retirement and we are trying to avoid that. If you have regrets about this school, you can look into transferring to a state school that would be more in our budget. That has to be your choice — it’s your life.


Also if it’s a top college campus, these days they are FILLED with free food and events with a lot of food. My kid eats like a king hardly ever going out, because there’s always some event to crash with food.
Anonymous
Post 11/29/2025 23:14     Subject: DS upset about loans
I live in a Division I college town. A lot of college students work jobs to pay the bills.

Between summer jobs and a job during the year the student can easily make $20k each year to pay his loan commitment.
Anonymous
Post 11/29/2025 23:06     Subject: DS upset about loans
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Our UMC kid is full pay at a private. We’re comfortable but frugal. Their high school friends at public in-state universities have a lot more money to spend on extras like eating out, nice off campus apartments, Greek life costs, cars, etc. which makes sense. We told our kid up front (and remind them when needed) that they chose to attend a private college and need to accept the lifestyle compromises that comes with that. They don’t have a car, eat mostly in the dining hall, are living in the dorms, and didn’t rush for a sorority/fraternity.


Our UMC kid got full tuition at our state flagship. We pay for room and board, as well as all spendings. He does not have a car, he lives in an off campus apartment, eats in the dining hall/takeouts/eats out/cooks in the apartment, is not into Greek life, travels abroad at least once a year with his friends. He has earned around 50K through internships which he has saved for retirement and investments.

All in all - his college has cost us 60K for 4 years and double major for costs other than tuition.


You are upper class, not UMC. Be real. Good for him.
Anonymous
Post 11/29/2025 23:03     Subject: DS upset about loans
Anonymous wrote:Our UMC kid is full pay at a private. We’re comfortable but frugal. Their high school friends at public in-state universities have a lot more money to spend on extras like eating out, nice off campus apartments, Greek life costs, cars, etc. which makes sense. We told our kid up front (and remind them when needed) that they chose to attend a private college and need to accept the lifestyle compromises that comes with that. They don’t have a car, eat mostly in the dining hall, are living in the dorms, and didn’t rush for a sorority/fraternity.


Our UMC kid got full tuition at our state flagship. We pay for room and board, as well as all spendings. He does not have a car, he lives in an off campus apartment, eats in the dining hall/takeouts/eats out/cooks in the apartment, is not into Greek life, travels abroad at least once a year with his friends. He has earned around 50K through internships which he has saved for retirement and investments.

All in all - his college has cost us 60K for 4 years and double major for costs other than tuition.
Anonymous
Post 11/29/2025 23:01     Subject: DS upset about loans
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:His complaints are ridiculous. He should be paying the whole thing himself. You raised a spoiled, entitled brat.


HE IS. By working to reimburse his parents, who were foolish enough to take out a bloody loan for a too-expensive college.

Again, for the morons in the back. It's not the student who can take out loans. It's the parents.

This is OP's fault entirely from start to finish. SHE signed the loan document.



Where does it say he's paying the whole amount back to his parents?


OP said loans were taken out and that they're only paying 70K out of 90K. He's upset about needing to work. Can you put two and two together???



PP said the son is paying the whole thing, which would be $90k+ per year. He's not paying anywhere close to that. Spoiled and ridiculous.


How stupid are you? There is no way a freshman in college can earn 90K a year, even without a full course-load. It's amazing they can work to earn the difference, which is 20K! And they have every right to complain if OP and spouse blithely signed the Parent Plus loan and forced their kid into this college, telling him he could just work off the 20K every year. The kid didn't realize it would be this hard, and that's not his fault. He's allowed to complain.

I would never do this to my kids. We're fortunate that we can pay for all their education, but if we had to borrow, I wouldn't make them study AND work at the same time. They can pay me back after they graduate and have a full time job. If their work is so stressful that their grades dip in college, then they're less likely to get that full time job once they graduate anyway, so I would just be looking out for everyone's finances in that scenario...



No one said anything about earning 90k/ year, or 20k/ year. His loans are for around that amount. He is lucky his parents are paying what they are. But many people do earn 20k/ year, and much more, while going to school full time- just not spoiled, entitled people like OP's son.
Anonymous
Post 11/29/2025 22:56     Subject: DS upset about loans
This is on you, OP.

You should know your child better than that. Most kids don't do well working plus studying. That's a lot of multitasking in today's competitive atmosphere in college. It's not like YOUR college experience, where you could skip half the classes, earn money and still get a nice job after graduation. Right now it's cutthroat. The economy is terrible. Graduates need excellent grades, top internships, etc. If your kid is working and it's taking time away from doing the best he can in his major... that's not really thinking ahead, is it?

You should have steered him to colleges you could afford outright.

This is a parenting fail, because you can't expect a kid to understand how the world works.
Anonymous
Post 11/29/2025 22:53     Subject: DS upset about loans
People acting like this is an outrageous, unbelievable cost… $92K sounds like the bill for an Ivy. It’s approximately the cost of Yale, for instance.
Anonymous
Post 11/29/2025 22:48     Subject: DS upset about loans
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:His complaints are ridiculous. He should be paying the whole thing himself. You raised a spoiled, entitled brat.


HE IS. By working to reimburse his parents, who were foolish enough to take out a bloody loan for a too-expensive college.

Again, for the morons in the back. It's not the student who can take out loans. It's the parents.

This is OP's fault entirely from start to finish. SHE signed the loan document.



Where does it say he's paying the whole amount back to his parents?


OP said loans were taken out and that they're only paying 70K out of 90K. He's upset about needing to work. Can you put two and two together???



PP said the son is paying the whole thing, which would be $90k+ per year. He's not paying anywhere close to that. Spoiled and ridiculous.


How stupid are you? There is no way a freshman in college can earn 90K a year, even without a full course-load. It's amazing they can work to earn the difference, which is 20K! And they have every right to complain if OP and spouse blithely signed the Parent Plus loan and forced their kid into this college, telling him he could just work off the 20K every year. The kid didn't realize it would be this hard, and that's not his fault. He's allowed to complain.

I would never do this to my kids. We're fortunate that we can pay for all their education, but if we had to borrow, I wouldn't make them study AND work at the same time. They can pay me back after they graduate and have a full time job. If their work is so stressful that their grades dip in college, then they're less likely to get that full time job once they graduate anyway, so I would just be looking out for everyone's finances in that scenario...

Anonymous
Post 11/29/2025 22:43     Subject: DS upset about loans
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
It's the parents who sign loans. Students are barred from getting loans of more than 5-6K a year. The difference between what parents are paying and sticker price is about 20K. So obviously it's OP who took out the loan.


Ergo


OP is responsible for this situation.

Federal student loans are limited. However, private student loans are not.


If this kid took out private loans, then OP FAILED AS A PARENT.

Anonymous
Post 11/29/2025 22:38     Subject: DS upset about loans
I had partial aid, loans, and a job myself. Lots of ways to make money on campus.
Anonymous
Post 11/29/2025 22:33     Subject: DS upset about loans
My parents told me I could go either where they could afford or where I won a substantial (not a partial discount) scholarship. It was a good set of boundaries in that it was very clear, and it meant that I would not drive them or myself into debt. It also put the responsibility on me to find choices that we could all live with. I resented at first having to cross expensive, prestigious institutions off my list, but ended up being a big fish in a small pond, where intensive mentorship set me up for significant success later. Sometimes it is better to go someplace that wants _you_, rather than the other way around.
Anonymous
Post 11/29/2025 22:17     Subject: DS upset about loans
Anonymous wrote:
It's the parents who sign loans. Students are barred from getting loans of more than 5-6K a year. The difference between what parents are paying and sticker price is about 20K. So obviously it's OP who took out the loan.


Ergo


OP is responsible for this situation.

Federal student loans are limited. However, private student loans are not.
Anonymous
Post 11/29/2025 22:08     Subject: DS upset about loans
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Obvious troll post. Can't believe everyone responded.


If it is a troll post, what's the intention? Laugh at poor people?


I think it's to smear the "roommate on financial aid buying Starbucks" and also to get people into a fight about taking on debt and brattiness. The tell is that kids CAN'T take out $20k/year in loans anymore. Nobody will loan that to them. The parents can take out HELOC loans if they really want (bad idea) but there's no real scenario where the kid agreed to take $20k/year in loans while the parents pay $70k.
Anonymous
Post 11/29/2025 21:59     Subject: Re:DS upset about loans
Anonymous wrote:I had the choice:

In-state paid in full by my parents or any school I wanted with them only contributing what they would for in-state tuition. In your scenario today’s prices that would be about $40k out of $90k.

My dad explained loans, etc. I chose in-state.
I now pay $92k each for both my kids’ Ivy education. We aren’t taking loans. It sure ain’t cheap, but I’m now more well-off than my parents were and we can swing it.


It’s interesting that you started in-state and did well, and now it sounds like your kids will also graduate with no debt and attend a prestigious school. In that case, do you actually factor ROI into the decision? Do you think they'd need that legacy and luxury donation later for their children and still able to afford the tuition? (In 20 years, $92,000 becomes roughly $244,000 with 5% inflation.)