Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why OP, who has a strong command of English including swearing, thinks her kid needs boarding school to learn English.

Anonymous wrote:OP, one thing to keep in mind is that public schools are more highly regulated than private. Have you considered public school in a community that is expat-heavy? For instance, Scarsdale, NY attracts a lot of expat families including foreign exec on temporary assignments. The public schools there are just as good as any private school.

Anonymous wrote:

OP,

First, please don't feel obligated to respond to everyone and repeat yourself, it's exhausting and clutters the thread.

Second, on DCUM, we deal in brutal honesty and unvarnished thoughts here. You should have expected, if you had read DCUM before posting, that you'd get a proportion of nasty replies. If you didn't read DCUM before posting... this thread is your baptism by fire You need a thick skin to post here.

Third... please, no more boarding school for your precious child. I moved every 4 years from country to country as a child, due to my father's job, and only once landed in a boarding school situation. I still managed to learn all the languages and different cultural norms. Your child can thrive in a day school, public or private.

Why don't you create an new, anonymous thread about finding a great school where you are currently living in NY? People will help you find one. And sometimes the best situations are public ones, no matter how much money you have to throw at private institutions... it really depends where you live and what you want from a K-12 education. We moved to be in-bounds for a great public school cluster in the DC area, because none of the DC privates were interesting enough, ie, price:quality ratio was lacking.

Best of luck.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Lina2025 wrote:Thank you everyone for your comments.
I truly appreciate those who offered helpful and constructive advice — I will definitely take it into account. It is unfortunate that many replies were negative, because this is our first year in the U.S., and I was simply hoping to get support and understand how things work here. For example, when I asked about resources for school ratings, I was told that the site I mentioned is a “joke,” but no one explained where to actually check reliable ratings. As a newcomer, how could I know that?

And just to clarify something for those who assumed that we sent our son to boarding school because he is a “problem child,” or even questioned whether I am his mother — this is completely untrue and absurd. Our son is a normal, kind, smart boy, and we were trying to do the best for him. When we chose the school, I spent a lot of time and effort researching options. We were advised that boarding would help him integrate faster, improve his English, and make friends. We intentionally placed him with an American roommate for that reason.

We planned to move to the area as soon as we could find a house, but there are very few homes available there. Unfortunately, things didn’t work out as expected, and now we are transferring him. But academically the school is excellent — his Duolingo score improved from 70 to 105 in less than three months, and we are proud of his progress. He wanted to go to this school and was excited about the experience.

After receiving the audio transcript I was emotional, and maybe it sounded more dramatic than the real situation. In reality, things are not as terrible as some people think. His roommate annoys him, but it’s more irritation than bullying — he can stand up for himself.

Regarding the medical issue: we already resolved it. We took him to a podiatrist on a weekday and surgery was done. Before that, he had already seen a doctor several times — for those who assumed we ignored the problem. The concern about negligence was related to the school nurse refusing to do basic bandaging and suggesting sending him home for an indefinite period, even though he has upcoming performances and mid-term tests.

We have now found another school and are planning to move to that district. However, if the previous rating site is unreliable, I still don’t know where to read real reviews — and I would genuinely appreciate recommendations.

Once again, to everyone who criticized us for choosing boarding school: we made this decision for his well-being. We believed it would help him learn English faster, adapt culturally, make friends, and work toward his goals. He was not forced — he was interested and wanted to try something new.

Thank you again to those who responded with kindness and practical advice.

You should just admit to making some bad decisions rather than say it is unfortunate you received a negative response. You want people to point out your mistakes, which were massive. If you are evaluating schools, you need to look into their course curriculum, test scores, college placement, and all the other things that matter to you. There is no legitimate ranking for private schools and especially at middle school grades. You need to use your own brain to make decisions. Finally, these schools do not replace parents. They are just schools and if your child has an urgent medical issue you need to address it yourself. This board is full of a lot of helpful info and I suggest you take the negative feedback you received as helpful. You come across as completely out of touch with how to raise your kid.

I don’t need any advice from you — such a rude and mean person. Go *uck yourself with your stupid comment. And go say nasty things to someone else.

Anonymous wrote:

Lina2025 wrote:Thank you everyone for your comments.
I truly appreciate those who offered helpful and constructive advice — I will definitely take it into account. It is unfortunate that many replies were negative, because this is our first year in the U.S., and I was simply hoping to get support and understand how things work here. For example, when I asked about resources for school ratings, I was told that the site I mentioned is a “joke,” but no one explained where to actually check reliable ratings. As a newcomer, how could I know that?

And just to clarify something for those who assumed that we sent our son to boarding school because he is a “problem child,” or even questioned whether I am his mother — this is completely untrue and absurd. Our son is a normal, kind, smart boy, and we were trying to do the best for him. When we chose the school, I spent a lot of time and effort researching options. We were advised that boarding would help him integrate faster, improve his English, and make friends. We intentionally placed him with an American roommate for that reason.

We planned to move to the area as soon as we could find a house, but there are very few homes available there. Unfortunately, things didn’t work out as expected, and now we are transferring him. But academically the school is excellent — his Duolingo score improved from 70 to 105 in less than three months, and we are proud of his progress. He wanted to go to this school and was excited about the experience.

After receiving the audio transcript I was emotional, and maybe it sounded more dramatic than the real situation. In reality, things are not as terrible as some people think. His roommate annoys him, but it’s more irritation than bullying — he can stand up for himself.

Regarding the medical issue: we already resolved it. We took him to a podiatrist on a weekday and surgery was done. Before that, he had already seen a doctor several times — for those who assumed we ignored the problem. The concern about negligence was related to the school nurse refusing to do basic bandaging and suggesting sending him home for an indefinite period, even though he has upcoming performances and mid-term tests.

We have now found another school and are planning to move to that district. However, if the previous rating site is unreliable, I still don’t know where to read real reviews — and I would genuinely appreciate recommendations.

Once again, to everyone who criticized us for choosing boarding school: we made this decision for his well-being. We believed it would help him learn English faster, adapt culturally, make friends, and work toward his goals. He was not forced — he was interested and wanted to try something new.

Thank you again to those who responded with kindness and practical advice.

You should just admit to making some bad decisions rather than say it is unfortunate you received a negative response. You want people to point out your mistakes, which were massive. If you are evaluating schools, you need to look into their course curriculum, test scores, college placement, and all the other things that matter to you. There is no legitimate ranking for private schools and especially at middle school grades. You need to use your own brain to make decisions. Finally, these schools do not replace parents. They are just schools and if your child has an urgent medical issue you need to address it yourself. This board is full of a lot of helpful info and I suggest you take the negative feedback you received as helpful. You come across as completely out of touch with how to raise your kid.

Lina2025 wrote:Thank you everyone for your comments.
I truly appreciate those who offered helpful and constructive advice — I will definitely take it into account. It is unfortunate that many replies were negative, because this is our first year in the U.S., and I was simply hoping to get support and understand how things work here. For example, when I asked about resources for school ratings, I was told that the site I mentioned is a “joke,” but no one explained where to actually check reliable ratings. As a newcomer, how could I know that?

And just to clarify something for those who assumed that we sent our son to boarding school because he is a “problem child,” or even questioned whether I am his mother — this is completely untrue and absurd. Our son is a normal, kind, smart boy, and we were trying to do the best for him. When we chose the school, I spent a lot of time and effort researching options. We were advised that boarding would help him integrate faster, improve his English, and make friends. We intentionally placed him with an American roommate for that reason.

We planned to move to the area as soon as we could find a house, but there are very few homes available there. Unfortunately, things didn’t work out as expected, and now we are transferring him. But academically the school is excellent — his Duolingo score improved from 70 to 105 in less than three months, and we are proud of his progress. He wanted to go to this school and was excited about the experience.

After receiving the audio transcript I was emotional, and maybe it sounded more dramatic than the real situation. In reality, things are not as terrible as some people think. His roommate annoys him, but it’s more irritation than bullying — he can stand up for himself.

Regarding the medical issue: we already resolved it. We took him to a podiatrist on a weekday and surgery was done. Before that, he had already seen a doctor several times — for those who assumed we ignored the problem. The concern about negligence was related to the school nurse refusing to do basic bandaging and suggesting sending him home for an indefinite period, even though he has upcoming performances and mid-term tests.

We have now found another school and are planning to move to that district. However, if the previous rating site is unreliable, I still don’t know where to read real reviews — and I would genuinely appreciate recommendations.

Once again, to everyone who criticized us for choosing boarding school: we made this decision for his well-being. We believed it would help him learn English faster, adapt culturally, make friends, and work toward his goals. He was not forced — he was interested and wanted to try something new.

Thank you again to those who responded with kindness and practical advice.

Anonymous wrote:I think it is easy to judge OP and ask why their family would enroll their son in boarding school so young. I also couldn’t imagine my DCs being out of my sight for longer than a school day. But as a second gen immigrant, I also remember the old family stories of walking to school barefoot and being whipped for answering classroom questions incorrectly. While these exact examples may or may not exist in today’s times, it can be useful to fully understand another person’s cultural background and upbringing before rushing to judgment about what they should or shouldn’t do.

Depending on where you from, even purely from a class (SES) perspective, your tolerance for certain conditions will differ. Especially in cultures that value the elders over children. I can say this about the culture I grew up in, you are expected respect elders, to toughen up and not complain.

Anonymous wrote:I would expect 12 year old boarding school kids to be brats who the parents couldn’t tolerate keeping at home. Why are you putting a nice kid there?

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised you didnt take him to a doctor yourself on one of the weekends. Minute clinic or something. Infected toe is a big deal.

Anonymous wrote:FWIW Americans typically view boarding school for students younger than 14 or 15 years old to be a form of punishment for an unwanted child. And I write this as a boarding school parent and as one who attended a private school which had both boarding and day students.

Twelve years old is too young to surrender a child to a boarding school environment even if "only" for 5 days a week.