Anonymous
Post 11/20/2025 17:40     Subject: Can you tell if a couple has a good sex life?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Most of the couples in my orbit are in their 40s and 50s, long-married, and still in the thick of parenting. Many have tough or stressful jobs, many have dealt with layoffs or furloughs recently.

I truly do not think much about these people's sex lives and wouldn't judge them no matter what it is. If I had to guess, I would assume most people are not having a ton of sex, but I would also assume that it's just not their very top priority in life.

I view sex at this stage of life like playing a good tennis match (I love playing tennis). It can be hard sometimes to make the match happen because you need to find time you and your partner are both free, make sure there's a court available, if outdoors the weather needs to work, and no one can be sick or too tired or distracted because a full match requires some energy and attention. If it happens, great! Totally worthwhile. A lot of times it doesn't happen and that's okay too, there are other ways to get a good workout in.


Your analogy breaks down because there’s nothing wrong with your tennis partner playing a match with someone else if the planets don’t align for you


The analogy wasn't about marriage, just sex. Sex in middle age is different than it is when you are younger. I would think nothing if a couple in their 50s going months between sex, whereas fir a couple in their 20s, I'd view it as a red flag. It's harder to make sex happen when you're older.
Anonymous
Post 11/20/2025 17:30     Subject: Can you tell if a couple has a good sex life?
Why do you care if ANOTHER COUPLE has a good sex life? Are you a swinger?
Anonymous
Post 11/20/2025 17:00     Subject: Can you tell if a couple has a good sex life?
Anonymous wrote:Can you tell if a couple is having great sex or if they have a terrible bedroom life?

I see some couples and I can sometimes tell they’re probably having a great sex life. They are affectionate, in sync and have that happy glow.

When a couple is distant and not aligned it’s hard to imagine them having an amazing sex life.


I can tell if a woman is not having enough sex. It's usually quite easy to tell.
Anonymous
Post 11/20/2025 13:57     Subject: Can you tell if a couple has a good sex life?
Anonymous wrote:Can you tell if a couple is having great sex or if they have a terrible bedroom life?

I see some couples and I can sometimes tell they’re probably having a great sex life. They are affectionate, in sync and have that happy glow.

When a couple is distant and not aligned it’s hard to imagine them having an amazing sex life.


If they salsa dance passionately, get into violent fights but then go straight back to salsa, I assume they have a terrific sex life. Outside of that, I have no idea and don't assume anything.
Anonymous
Post 11/19/2025 15:20     Subject: Can you tell if a couple has a good sex life?
I’m willing to bet people think DW and I have sex more often than we do. We’re both pretty fit/attractive people who are young for our age. We also are pretty close and have our version of flirtiness. That said, we have sex about once per week and its pretty much the exact same session every time. I mean, it is great sex that satisfied us both but I bet outsiders would think its more exciting than it is.
Anonymous
Post 11/19/2025 09:52     Subject: Re:Can you tell if a couple has a good sex life?
I’m clueless and I never talk about my sex life with friends. If I were to guess I’m sure I’d be wrong most of the time. We have a great sex life and that’s all that matters and we’ve been married 32 years.
Anonymous
Post 11/19/2025 09:15     Subject: Can you tell if a couple has a good sex life?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Do not make any assumptions, OP. Some marriages are not very physical, but it doesn't mean the parties can't be happy with each other.


Then that’s not a good sex life. It can be a good marriage, maybe, but the question is sex life


I think a "good sex life" is one that both members of the couple are happy with. But, I take your point - OP's question is better understood to mean an active sex life.
Anonymous
Post 11/19/2025 08:13     Subject: Can you tell if a couple has a good sex life?
Neighbors three doors down just put a large addition on their home. We have always been friendly with them (our youngest and their youngest are the same age ) so after the construction was over they gave us a tour of the house.

Master bedroom had eye bolts secured above the headboard. LOL.
Anonymous
Post 11/19/2025 08:12     Subject: Can you tell if a couple has a good sex life?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm a teacher in a wealthy DC suburb and I am in the midst of parent-teacher conferences. When both parents attend, I am often genuinely puzzled as to how these two people ended up together.
Not the answer to your question but....

I don't think you can always tell outwardly how a couple's sex life is.


Over the years, it has occurred to me that love & sex are 2 of the worst reasons to get married, but probably 2 of the most common reasons.


When the world was civilized, they were separated
Anonymous
Post 11/19/2025 08:12     Subject: Can you tell if a couple has a good sex life?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm a teacher in a wealthy DC suburb and I am in the midst of parent-teacher conferences. When both parents attend, I am often genuinely puzzled as to how these two people ended up together.
Not the answer to your question but....

I don't think you can always tell outwardly how a couple's sex life is.


Do you ever want to sleep with the dads?