Anonymous
Post 11/15/2025 22:35     Subject: Is this rude?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Maybe you’d think I’m annoying that I always discuss my daughters’ nut allergies with people, but if you do, that’s OK. Their own grandparents, 12 years on, cannot grasp that they are allergic to tree nuts and peanuts and literally ALWAYS have nuts around with no mention of them, despite the conversations. And well-meaning parents say “oh yes, I know, no peanuts” when it’s also no *tree nuts.* Tree nuts don’t seem to register to people because peanut allergies are more ubiquitous.

Just last Thanksgiving, despite my nephew also having nut allergies, my Mom put out the Thanksgiving spread with no mention to any parent or kid that she had tried a new recipe with walnuts in the cranberry sauce. It’s a good thing I was making kid plates for my young nieces when I was like, “Uh hey Mom, did you put nuts in the cranberry sauce?” And no, there was no other cranberry alternative. People forget ALL THE TIME. And I don’t blame them, because hosts have a lot to think about, as I well know as a frequent holiday host!


I do this too with my kid's nut allergy. And I check all boxes and labels myself. The grandparents forget to check ingredients every time (they have accidentally put out food with nuts that- in fairness to them- was a food that is typically nut-free). With a food allergy, you have to check every single time. I don't care that it annoys people!


Nut allergies are completely different than food preferences, especially for a host that always accommodates the food preference.

But instead of getting worked up why can’t OP simply keep it light and say, don’t worry, as we always do, there will be plenty of pizza with no meat. Can’t wait to see you.


Being vegetarian is not a food “preference.” It is a restriction.


Incorrect.
Anonymous
Post 11/15/2025 22:33     Subject: Is this rude?

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you’d think I’m annoying that I always discuss my daughters’ nut allergies with people, but if you do, that’s OK. Their own grandparents, 12 years on, cannot grasp that they are allergic to tree nuts and peanuts and literally ALWAYS have nuts around with no mention of them, despite the conversations. And well-meaning parents say “oh yes, I know, no peanuts” when it’s also no *tree nuts.* Tree nuts don’t seem to register to people because peanut allergies are more ubiquitous.

Just last Thanksgiving, despite my nephew also having nut allergies, my Mom put out the Thanksgiving spread with no mention to any parent or kid that she had tried a new recipe with walnuts in the cranberry sauce. It’s a good thing I was making kid plates for my young nieces when I was like, “Uh hey Mom, did you put nuts in the cranberry sauce?” And no, there was no other cranberry alternative. People forget ALL THE TIME. And I don’t blame them, because hosts have a lot to think about, as I well know as a frequent holiday host!


100% not the same and you know it, but hey, you got your attention, so it’s all good, I guess. 🤷‍♀️
Anonymous
Post 11/15/2025 22:32     Subject: Is this rude?

Anonymous wrote:Relative is vegetarian. We always have pizza in the night before Thanksgiving. (About 20 oeople) We always avoid meat to keep this relative happy on pizza night They emailed tonight, will there be vegetarian options or should I bring my own food?

YES we remember your food preferences and as always are accommodating. We note that you are a better person than the rest of us! Why do we need to discuss it every time??! Do you do this to your friends every time you eat somewhere?





But if they didn’t, how would they get that sweet, sweet *attention?*
Anonymous
Post 11/15/2025 22:31     Subject: Is this rude?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Maybe you’d think I’m annoying that I always discuss my daughters’ nut allergies with people, but if you do, that’s OK. Their own grandparents, 12 years on, cannot grasp that they are allergic to tree nuts and peanuts and literally ALWAYS have nuts around with no mention of them, despite the conversations. And well-meaning parents say “oh yes, I know, no peanuts” when it’s also no *tree nuts.* Tree nuts don’t seem to register to people because peanut allergies are more ubiquitous.

Just last Thanksgiving, despite my nephew also having nut allergies, my Mom put out the Thanksgiving spread with no mention to any parent or kid that she had tried a new recipe with walnuts in the cranberry sauce. It’s a good thing I was making kid plates for my young nieces when I was like, “Uh hey Mom, did you put nuts in the cranberry sauce?” And no, there was no other cranberry alternative. People forget ALL THE TIME. And I don’t blame them, because hosts have a lot to think about, as I well know as a frequent holiday host!


I do this too with my kid's nut allergy. And I check all boxes and labels myself. The grandparents forget to check ingredients every time (they have accidentally put out food with nuts that- in fairness to them- was a food that is typically nut-free). With a food allergy, you have to check every single time. I don't care that it annoys people!


Nut allergies are completely different than food preferences, especially for a host that always accommodates the food preference.

But instead of getting worked up why can’t OP simply keep it light and say, don’t worry, as we always do, there will be plenty of pizza with no meat. Can’t wait to see you.


Being vegetarian is not a food “preference.” It is a restriction.


A voluntary restriction.


Sure, but why does that bother you to the point that you'd be cool leaving a guest with nothing to eat? After 35 no-meat years, I know not to show up hungry and make do with what's available. Most of use who choose not to ear animals don't do it for attention or to inconvenience anyone, so I don't understand the hostility.


There’s no hostility to my answer. I eat plant-based about 4 days a week. But the idea that vegetarianism is on the same level as a potentially life-threatening allergy is simply not on. One is a choice, the other, a necessity.


Plant based is not vegetarian.


Right. That’s why I didn’t say vegetarian.
Anonymous
Post 11/15/2025 22:30     Subject: Is this rude?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:When my vegetarian friend is at a social event that has meat options and a limited amount of food (vs a restaurant or a store that restocks) and they are offered say a hamburger, they will accept it with the rationale that an animal gave its life for this and it would be said if it was not at least eaten (and put in the trash).

I think this is a “vegetarian” that misses meat and has found a way to have some. Seriously, they claim it’s a morality issue to eat your leftovers? 🤣
Seriously? No, I would not ever do that. I’d eat a plain bun with toppings but she isn’t a vegetarian if she does that.


I’ve been with them at a restaurant when I ordered chicken that I half ate and they asked to finish it because “an animal gave their life for that.” People are vegetarians for different reasons and practice differently.

I think this is a “vegetarian” that misses meat and has found a way to have some. Seriously, they claim it’s a morality issue to eat your leftovers? 🤣
Anonymous
Post 11/15/2025 22:29     Subject: Is this rude?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:When my vegetarian friend is at a social event that has meat options and a limited amount of food (vs a restaurant or a store that restocks) and they are offered say a hamburger, they will accept it with the rationale that an animal gave its life for this and it would be said if it was not at least eaten (and put in the trash).

I think this is a “vegetarian” that misses meat and has found a way to have some. Seriously, they claim it’s a morality issue to eat your leftovers? 🤣
Seriously? No, I would not ever do that. I’d eat a plain bun with toppings but she isn’t a vegetarian if she does that.


I’ve been with them at a restaurant when I ordered chicken that I half ate and they asked to finish it because “an animal gave their life for that.” People are vegetarians for different reasons and practice differently.
Anonymous
Post 11/15/2025 16:42     Subject: Is this rude?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:When my vegetarian friend is at a social event that has meat options and a limited amount of food (vs a restaurant or a store that restocks) and they are offered say a hamburger, they will accept it with the rationale that an animal gave its life for this and it would be said if it was not at least eaten (and put in the trash).


Seriously? No, I would not ever do that. I’d eat a plain bun with toppings but she isn’t a vegetarian if she does that.


I’ve been with them at a restaurant when I ordered chicken that I half ate and they asked to finish it because “an animal gave their life for that.” People are vegetarians for different reasons and practice differently.
Anonymous
Post 11/15/2025 16:33     Subject: Is this rude?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Maybe you’d think I’m annoying that I always discuss my daughters’ nut allergies with people, but if you do, that’s OK. Their own grandparents, 12 years on, cannot grasp that they are allergic to tree nuts and peanuts and literally ALWAYS have nuts around with no mention of them, despite the conversations. And well-meaning parents say “oh yes, I know, no peanuts” when it’s also no *tree nuts.* Tree nuts don’t seem to register to people because peanut allergies are more ubiquitous.

Just last Thanksgiving, despite my nephew also having nut allergies, my Mom put out the Thanksgiving spread with no mention to any parent or kid that she had tried a new recipe with walnuts in the cranberry sauce. It’s a good thing I was making kid plates for my young nieces when I was like, “Uh hey Mom, did you put nuts in the cranberry sauce?” And no, there was no other cranberry alternative. People forget ALL THE TIME. And I don’t blame them, because hosts have a lot to think about, as I well know as a frequent holiday host!


I do this too with my kid's nut allergy. And I check all boxes and labels myself. The grandparents forget to check ingredients every time (they have accidentally put out food with nuts that- in fairness to them- was a food that is typically nut-free). With a food allergy, you have to check every single time. I don't care that it annoys people!


Nut allergies are completely different than food preferences, especially for a host that always accommodates the food preference.

But instead of getting worked up why can’t OP simply keep it light and say, don’t worry, as we always do, there will be plenty of pizza with no meat. Can’t wait to see you.


Being vegetarian is not a food “preference.” It is a restriction.


A voluntary restriction.


Sure, but why does that bother you to the point that you'd be cool leaving a guest with nothing to eat? After 35 no-meat years, I know not to show up hungry and make do with what's available. Most of use who choose not to ear animals don't do it for attention or to inconvenience anyone, so I don't understand the hostility.


There’s no hostility to my answer. I eat plant-based about 4 days a week. But the idea that vegetarianism is on the same level as a potentially life-threatening allergy is simply not on. One is a choice, the other, a necessity.


Plant based is not vegetarian.
Anonymous
Post 11/15/2025 16:31     Subject: Is this rude?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I eat some meat, but I’ve personally witnessed situations where the host ordered, say, one cheese or one veggie pizza, but it looked good to the kids and even the meat eaters, so the vegetarian had only one or two pieces of pizza while everyone else had three or more.


This happens so often!

They order one veggie pizza. Everyone takes a slice of veggie and one meat. Pretty soon all that’s left is a bunch of sausage or meat lovers pizza.

There have been so many times I was assured that there’s a vegetarian option, but unless I’m first in line, it’s gone by the time it’s my turn to serve.



This has also happened to me, so many times!!


+2. This has happened to me so many times, in so many situations — the vegetarian meal ends up being more appetizing to everyone, and I’m left with nothing!


I invite my special needs guests to choose first to make sure this does not happen ..but OP only offers vegetarian so it should never be an issue
Anonymous
Post 11/15/2025 16:31     Subject: Is this rude?

Anonymous wrote:When my vegetarian friend is at a social event that has meat options and a limited amount of food (vs a restaurant or a store that restocks) and they are offered say a hamburger, they will accept it with the rationale that an animal gave its life for this and it would be said if it was not at least eaten (and put in the trash).


Seriously? No, I would not ever do that. I’d eat a plain bun with toppings but she isn’t a vegetarian if she does that.
Anonymous
Post 11/15/2025 16:27     Subject: Is this rude?

Anonymous wrote:I swear people look for a reason to get offended and stay offended.


+1.

There is nothing offensive about that email. OP is reading a bunch of weird judgment into it.
Anonymous
Post 11/15/2025 16:26     Subject: Is this rude?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I eat some meat, but I’ve personally witnessed situations where the host ordered, say, one cheese or one veggie pizza, but it looked good to the kids and even the meat eaters, so the vegetarian had only one or two pieces of pizza while everyone else had three or more.


This happens so often!

They order one veggie pizza. Everyone takes a slice of veggie and one meat. Pretty soon all that’s left is a bunch of sausage or meat lovers pizza.

There have been so many times I was assured that there’s a vegetarian option, but unless I’m first in line, it’s gone by the time it’s my turn to serve.



This has also happened to me, so many times!!


+2. This has happened to me so many times, in so many situations — the vegetarian meal ends up being more appetizing to everyone, and I’m left with nothing!
Anonymous
Post 11/15/2025 16:25     Subject: Is this rude?

Anonymous wrote:When my vegetarian friend is at a social event that has meat options and a limited amount of food (vs a restaurant or a store that restocks) and they are offered say a hamburger, they will accept it with the rationale that an animal gave its life for this and it would be said if it was not at least eaten (and put in the trash).


lol this cannot be real.
Anonymous
Post 11/15/2025 16:24     Subject: Is this rude?

It’s not rude. You’re reading too much into this. Maybe you think it’s annoying because it’s obvious you will accommodate them but that’s surely not their general experience. I’m not sure why you’re also reading the sanctimonious stuff into it; they didn’t say anything about that at all.

As for me, I would definitely rather someone over-remind me than say nothing at all.
Anonymous
Post 11/15/2025 16:05     Subject: Is this rude?

When my vegetarian friend is at a social event that has meat options and a limited amount of food (vs a restaurant or a store that restocks) and they are offered say a hamburger, they will accept it with the rationale that an animal gave its life for this and it would be said if it was not at least eaten (and put in the trash).