$500 is not getting him "full service" or even minor service in Miami. That's buying a few lap dances in a private room at most. In Miami Beach, city ordinances prevent serving alcohol at clubs that have full nudity, so the club can either do only topless (and then alcohol is OK), or do full nudity and then no alcohol. But the club and dancers have to make money, so if it's not overpriced drinks (which the dancers may get a cut from), then it's expensive lap dances.

The market price of "full service" in general in Miami (not in strip clubs) is $1k-2k for a decent looking woman.

If you object to your DH going to strip clubs, then you have a good case on your hands. But if he spent $500 and only $500, and it was in Miami, he didn't get that much out of it for that money.

(I work in finance so I know way too much about this)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$500. No way it was sex. Since he used Venmo he was being very reckless. My guess is a stripped gave him a 5-6 song private show and sat there while he Venmo’d her, with a big bouncer standing nearby ready to act if he refused to pay. It’s happened to the best of us…nothing you should let slide, but…

Lol that didn't happen. I think guys are trying to bro-code this post.
He paid for sex

I think guys just have more experience with strip clubs and know what $500 will get you (it's an hour and a bottle of Andre)

Do you know what club based on other charges? Call and ask.

It sounds to me like he got off with her one way or the other.

OP sooooo tell us about your marriage?
Are you two having sex?

Anonymous wrote:$500. No way it was sex. Since he used Venmo he was being very reckless. My guess is a stripped gave him a 5-6 song private show and sat there while he Venmo’d her, with a big bouncer standing nearby ready to act if he refused to pay. It’s happened to the best of us…nothing you should let slide, but…

Lol that didn't happen. I think guys are trying to bro-code this post.
He paid for sex

Anonymous wrote:DH sent $500 directly to a stripper at a fully nude strip club in the Miami area—ie, did not pay this fee to the club directly. He claims Miami is expensive and that the payment was for a lap dance. I call BS. How much would a lap dance cost, would the cost be paid to the club or directly to the stripper via Venmo, how much would you tip a woman for a lap dance, and what is the most likely explanation? I have a hard time believing that an “innocent” lap dance costs $500 regardless of the geographical location.

He might have fell for the "champagne room" or "VIP" scam where they lure in men and women who are not familiar with the scam to a private room, on the hint of extras being performed, and they legally sell you a $5 bottle of Totts for $500 and the privacy of the room.

Real "extras" in clubs like that don't happen in the VIP room, but out in the open, subtle bj's and handjobs with the dancer or dancers hiding the activity from obvious view. They usually cost $20-50 for handies and blowies, and $100 for intercourse during a lapdance.

$500 sounds like he just got scammed while hoping for extra.

You should divorce him. It's not because he went to a strip club and blew $500, but because he's dumb enough to leave evidence and records on Venmo. What a fool!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - how pretty are you, and can you do a lap dance for him yourself? that would solve at least part of the issue.

Stop joking.

She is actually married to this loser.

Do you have a sister? Would you be laughing if she was OP?

I'm not joking - happily married couples do stuff like that all the time. My wife gives me strip teases and I love it. I do have a sister and I'd be willing to bet she does stuff like that for her hubby too.

Guaranteed your wife and sister don’t look anything like the women who work at sex clubs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - how pretty are you, and can you do a lap dance for him yourself? that would solve at least part of the issue.

Stop joking.

She is actually married to this loser.

Do you have a sister? Would you be laughing if she was OP?

I'm not joking - happily married couples do stuff like that all the time. My wife gives me strip teases and I love it. I do have a sister and I'd be willing to bet she does stuff like that for her hubby too.

The fact that you are even asking means you need therapy.

Honestly, you are in deep.

Find someone who cares about you (a sister, friend…) and cooperate with their intervention.

Anonymous wrote:OP - how pretty are you, and can you do a lap dance for him yourself? that would solve at least part of the issue.

Stop joking.

She is actually married to this loser.

Do you have a sister? Would you be laughing if she was OP?

$500. No way it was sex. Since he used Venmo he was being very reckless. My guess is a stripped gave him a 5-6 song private show and sat there while he Venmo’d her, with a big bouncer standing nearby ready to act if he refused to pay. It’s happened to the best of us…nothing you should let slide, but…

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP all this is really splitting hairs. Your DH spent more than $500 one night that you know of, going to a nude club and getting personal services that were sexual or orgasm-adjacent.
Do you think this is a way you want your spouse to act?
It may not be his virgin nudie club visit.
Either do a look the other way wife act or get a lawyer.
But a guy like this may not be planning on celebrating a 25th anniversary with you.

These are truly the choices. Pick one, OP.

I would leave him, personally, because this is an absurd use of $500 to me, but I think it's also reasonable to expect that if she's expected to look the other way, he's expected to be somewhat more discreet about his activities. I guess a "lap dance" in a city several states away is fairly discreet, but paying for it with his personal Venmo, in a way his wife found without too much effort, is not.

She went through his phone. You can't accuse him of having a problem with discretion because she "found [it] without too much effort" by going through his phone.

She didn't say she went through his phone. She said she had proof of payment and mentioned Venmo. Paying a stripper via Venmo is incredibly indiscreet.

She also knew the schedule of events for evening via texts with his buddy. If he’s using iOS it’s possible the text were popping up on an iPad or iMac that was synced. It’s not certain she was snooping.

Anonymous wrote:HE PAID FOR SEX
HE PAID FOR SEX
HE PAID FOR SEX
HE PAID FOR SEX
HE PAID FOR SEX

You really need to get that in your head and let that sink in.

HE PAID FOR SEX
HE PAID FOR SEX

😩
+1
HE PAID FOR SEX