Anonymous
Post 11/08/2025 19:47     Subject: Why won’t he take his stuff?
Anonymous wrote:You haven’t changed the locks?


Attorney said to do it right after DH claimed his stuff.
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2025 19:26     Subject: Why won’t he take his stuff?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You haven’t changed the locks?


My attorney said change the locks. DH said if I change the locks he’ll have me in court on Monday and reminded me that he has the key and is keeping it. Attorney is calling me tomorrow (Sunday).


He won’t have you anywhere on Monday. You need to document the threats and get a stay away order.
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2025 19:10     Subject: Why won’t he take his stuff?
Anonymous wrote:You haven’t changed the locks?


My attorney said change the locks. DH said if I change the locks he’ll have me in court on Monday and reminded me that he has the key and is keeping it. Attorney is calling me tomorrow (Sunday).
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2025 16:34     Subject: Why won’t he take his stuff?
You haven’t changed the locks?
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2025 15:54     Subject: Why won’t he take his stuff?
Anonymous wrote:Update: he came over. He didn’t take all the stuff. He got really angry that I had moved any of his stuff. This is “his home.” I am going to hear from his attorney on Monday, apparently. -OP


Oh yes, welcome to this fun phase. Hopefully his attorney sets him straight. He moved out and left the stuff. It is 100% fine for you to box it up and move it around. You didn’t sell it or trash it — that’s what matters. He’s off his gourd if he thinks that you are obligated to maintain the house as an untouchable shrine to the moment he walked out.
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2025 15:48     Subject: Why won’t he take his stuff?
Tell your attorney sounds like you are not getting the house. If he can't pick up boxes he can't move houses.
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2025 15:32     Subject: Why won’t he take his stuff?
Update: he came over. He didn’t take all the stuff. He got really angry that I had moved any of his stuff. This is “his home.” I am going to hear from his attorney on Monday, apparently. -OP
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2025 09:13     Subject: Why won’t he take his stuff?
A bit of work but will remove the mental hassle: put all stuff in identical moving boxes or flip-top bins so they can be stacked 2-3 high. Stack, either in basement or office. Cover with sheet or tablecloth or tarp and ignore.

Yes, it will take a couple of hours, but then it's done.
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2025 04:27     Subject: Why won’t he take his stuff?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why would you box them up and leave them where the children have to step over and around them. Keep your anger and feelings away from your kids - trying to make them have a constant reminder of what he did to you is petty and harmful to the kids.

It is also still his house unless you have bought him out of it. DId he ask you to pack up his belongings?

Sounds like neither of you are thinking of the kids and both are just mad at each other and trying to inconvinience the other.


Hardly that. I’ve boxed what I can in his office but the kids see the stuff every time they go to use the printer. My attorney suggested moving the stuff to the garage but they would see it there even more frequently.

Per temporary orders, I have sole use of our marital house and have the ability to file a motion for him to remove his stuff. But that’s the legal part. I just don’t understand the psychology of not wanting your stuff when you have a whole separate house that’s yours and yours alone. What’s even more strange and a separate thread is that he refuses to tell me where it is, won’t tell the children where it is, and is trying to get custody but apparently (per his attorney from a 1:1 conversation with my attorney) “doesn’t have time” to set up rooms for the kids.

It’s bonkers. I think he filed but somehow thought I would just pack my stuff, sell the house for him, and disappear from his life with zero hassle or effort. Now that he realizes that’s not how it works he seems exhausted and overwhelmed.


Call 1-800 Junk.
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2025 02:58     Subject: Why won’t he take his stuff?
Anonymous wrote:I’m very surprised you don’t think he will get 1/2 custody. I know pretty extreme mental health cases (documented alcoholism, etc) where the spouse still had joint custody. No one wants to pay extra child support, so everyone fights for it. Also, it sounds like he thinks you are part of the problem (we have no idea either way but you do sound a bit controlling) so he probably thinks the kids are better off with him at least half the time. You need to be very careful that you are not making him look like the bad guy to the kids or you will get hit with alienation.


With a scatterbrained ex like this, or course OP is a bit (or a lot) controlling. It’s by definition.
OCD people are often attracted to adhd type partners
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2025 02:55     Subject: Why won’t he take his stuff?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Maybe he’s trying to get you to waste your money by doing the filing. To try to make it as inconvenient for you as possible from the get go so that down the line you’ll be more amenable to just giving him what he wants to get it over with already


OP here, I think you could be right. But he has low endurance and a short attention span so his attorney is going to have to really hold his hand if that’s his plan.


PP with a similar ex who prob has adhd. Low endurance and short attention span are your answers. Picking up and unpacking the boxes is a project and he is overwhelmed.
For me, my kid wasn’t visibly upset but I still moved the things out of the way and I would bring them to his house little by little when dropping the kid off.
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2025 02:48     Subject: Why won’t he take his stuff?
I am on page 1 but it sounds a lot like my undiagnosed adhd ex. Poor planning and execution skills, impulsivity, not wanting to deal with “pesky” stuff. If he picks up the boxes he needs to think how to fit them in the car, carry them and then unpack them etc etc and it’s too hard for him and he doesn’t like to apply effort.
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2025 01:11     Subject: Why won’t he take his stuff?
1. Move the printer.
2. Leave his sh*t in the office. Forever, if he wants.
3. Move on.
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2025 00:14     Subject: Why won’t he take his stuff?
Anonymous wrote:DH filed for divorce and moved out, first to our vacation house and now he is in a rented house. He is coming this weekend to get “some clothes” but has said he won’t be taking the 6 boxes of his other possessions (books, mugs, important paperwork, personal items) that I’ve boxed up for him because “there isn’t space”. My kids are upset seeing his stuff and it’s in the way.

I understand that I can legally compel him to take this stuff, so not asking about how to go about that. But I am at a loss for why he wouldn’t just come get all of his clothes and personal items if there really isn’t that much of it and he has an entire house of his own.

Any idea why he is being like this?


Tell him to choose either he takes it or it goes in the trash.
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2025 21:02     Subject: Why won’t he take his stuff?
Gather the thread urls and ask Jeff if they are all linked to the same IP