Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks PPs! It’s been a little over 15 years since my last child so I’m stating to look into what is now used and what is banned or discontinued (the Graco Rock n’ Play was a lifesaver all those years ago sad to see it go)

I had my first at 24 and most of my friends have just started having babies in their now late 30s. I’ll be 40 when this baby arrives.

I have no baby items and the grandparents who are living are elderly.

My kids are teens so it’s not little kids needing to get excited but older kids - I have two boys and a girl - wanting to be involved.

You can just throw a "we're having a baby party." It doesn't have to be a gender reveal or a shower, but just a celebration.

If you want presents, have a shower.

If you want to do a gender reveal, just do it with your teens and don't post it on the internet.

A “shower” for a FOURTH kid is beyond tacky.

+1

We waited to find out and did not do a gender reveal or anything like that, but I would never say I was “Team Green.”

Gender reveals or things like saying you are part of “Team Green” are narcissistic and stupid.

If you want to find out, that’s great; have a moment of genuine surprise and joy with your partner and close family. But don’t throw a parade. And if you want to wait to be surprised, that’s amazing; have a lovely moment the day of the delivery. But you aren’t Team Anything, you just had a baby.

Gender reveal parties are the stupid

I didn't find out for any of my kids and it had nothing to do with other people or getting attention. It was a personal decision. I kind of liked having a build up to get me through the pregnancies and having a surprise on the day of. I'm an introvert so I don't even like a lot of attention.

What works for one person may not work for somebody else. Thus, the personal decision part.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:4th child but it’s been over 15 years and things had changed. This is a high risk pregnancy so multiple appointments where I’d have to explain that I am team green or whatever the current term is for waiting to find out.

Friends have all had gender reveals which were actually a pretty fun party.

I’m not sure which I would prefer. I’ve come across a video of having older children reveal the gener but there also seems to be some excitement to be had with finding out at delivery.

What do you regret?

It's your 4th kid and, other than you and your DH, no body gives a tinkler's dam.

THIS.
And as somebody said earlier, there's a certain type of person who does gender reveal parties and you don't want to be that kind of person.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks PPs! It’s been a little over 15 years since my last child so I’m stating to look into what is now used and what is banned or discontinued (the Graco Rock n’ Play was a lifesaver all those years ago sad to see it go)

I had my first at 24 and most of my friends have just started having babies in their now late 30s. I’ll be 40 when this baby arrives.

I have no baby items and the grandparents who are living are elderly.

My kids are teens so it’s not little kids needing to get excited but older kids - I have two boys and a girl - wanting to be involved.

You can just throw a "we're having a baby party." It doesn't have to be a gender reveal or a shower, but just a celebration.

If you want presents, have a shower.

If you want to do a gender reveal, just do it with your teens and don't post it on the internet.

A “shower” for a FOURTH kid is beyond tacky.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like waiting is often something people do for attention. Given that it's so easy to know these days it feels like made up drama.

We found out and sent pink or blue flowers to the grandparents and great grandparent. They were super surprised and each called us to celebrate. It was very fun to share with them, even if long distance. We didn't do a gender reveal. If I had older kids, I'd probably do something special just with them, like pink or blue filled cupcakes after dinner.

You have it completely twisted. People who plan gender reveals and expect people to be excited about that are attention seeking drama queens. 99.9% of the people you know do not care one iota what gender baby you're having. Gender reveal parties are attention seeking behavior. The same is true of posting pics of your baby bump everywhere.

People who don't find out expect everyone to talk about it all the time. They want discussions of wives tales, people to bet on the gender, and deep conversations about gender vs sex. It's obnoxious and makes a big deal out of something that is easily known.

Why would you think that? We did not find out for either kid. I would have found out for #2 so we could talk about her more concretely (with a name) to #1 but DH wanted to wait. To him it made the day more special. The delivery staff was all excited too. There were no discussions of wives takes or bets.

agreed this is a bizarre take-- i remember a friend repeatedly asking my 2 year ol what they thought the baby would be and she did not comprehend/care/she just kept saying a baby... we never made not knowing a big deal-- there's not that deep to even discuss of gender vs. sex-- what deep conversations are you even imagining? if you want to know in advance, great- if you don't- great. do not care about your fetus's sex either way (other than to console your gender dissapointment)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like waiting is often something people do for attention. Given that it's so easy to know these days it feels like made up drama.

We found out and sent pink or blue flowers to the grandparents and great grandparent. They were super surprised and each called us to celebrate. It was very fun to share with them, even if long distance. We didn't do a gender reveal. If I had older kids, I'd probably do something special just with them, like pink or blue filled cupcakes after dinner.

You have it completely twisted. People who plan gender reveals and expect people to be excited about that are attention seeking drama queens. 99.9% of the people you know do not care one iota what gender baby you're having. Gender reveal parties are attention seeking behavior. The same is true of posting pics of your baby bump everywhere.

People who don't find out expect everyone to talk about it all the time. They want discussions of wives tales, people to bet on the gender, and deep conversations about gender vs sex. It's obnoxious and makes a big deal out of something that is easily known.

Why would you think that? We did not find out for either kid. I would have found out for #2 so we could talk about her more concretely (with a name) to #1 but DH wanted to wait. To him it made the day more special. The delivery staff was all excited too. There were no discussions of wives takes or bets.

Anonymous wrote:Nobody cares except for Bad Grandmas. It’s the only question people known to ask so it’s more a conversation started than actual interest.

OMG I hate autocorrect! Know. Starter.

Nobody cares except for Bad Grandmas. It’s the only question people known to ask so it’s more a conversation started than actual interest.

Here's the thing: YOU can find out (you and your partner) AND YOU can keep it a secret until after birth for everyone, kids included.

OR

YOU two can find out, tell everyone the gender NOW but keep the name a big secret.

The latter is what friends did 15 years ago - we knew they were having a girl, but they didn't discuss names at all. That way they didn't have to hear "eww, you like THAT for a girl?" Once the baby is born, nobody will look you in the eye and say they don't like your child's name. But BEFORE the birth? Everyone is opinions R us!

I think both "gender reveal parties" and "Team Green" are basically the same thing -- people making the reveal of their kid's sex into a special event.

I'm Gen X and that's not how it was for us. I found out at the 20 week scan because I wanted to start trying on and using names to find one I liked. My brother and SIL found out when the baby was born, because they liked it being a surprise. Neither of us made a big deal out of it and there were no parties or teams associated with this. It was just one of a series of decisions you make when you have a baby, like whether to get an epidural, whether your mom is in the delivery room, etc. It's just a personal choice and different people choose different things.

Sometimes I feel like people make everything into too much of a thing these days. And yes a lot of it seems driven by social media. I put it in the same category as wedding hashtags, something other people seem to get excited about but I don't really get. Just get married. Just have a baby. I am not a fussy person.

Anonymous wrote:None of my friends ever had a gender reveal. My oldest is 15. I think they are super tacky and would not have one. No one really cares.

+1

So tacky and cringe.

Anonymous wrote:We waited until birth for all 3 kids. Drove our friends and family crazy, but it truly was special for us. I enjoyed dreaming of boys and girls for 9 months. I like gender reveal parties too and don’t mind attending.

"Driving your friends and family crazy" is attention seeking behavior.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like waiting is often something people do for attention. Given that it's so easy to know these days it feels like made up drama.

We found out and sent pink or blue flowers to the grandparents and great grandparent. They were super surprised and each called us to celebrate. It was very fun to share with them, even if long distance. We didn't do a gender reveal. If I had older kids, I'd probably do something special just with them, like pink or blue filled cupcakes after dinner.

You have it completely twisted. People who plan gender reveals and expect people to be excited about that are attention seeking drama queens. 99.9% of the people you know do not care one iota what gender baby you're having. Gender reveal parties are attention seeking behavior. The same is true of posting pics of your baby bump everywhere.

People who don't find out expect everyone to talk about it all the time. They want discussions of wives tales, people to bet on the gender, and deep conversations about gender vs sex. It's obnoxious and makes a big deal out of something that is easily known.