Anonymous
09/25/2025 22:13
Subject: Paying kids airfare?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:NP here.
Our son is in the same place (fully funded graduate position, but pretty low salary for where he lives.). He is very independent and frugal and supports himself on his stipend.
We (his parents) decided early on to pay for his flights home. This is mostly for holidays, but occasionally he visits for a short break. Our thinking was that we never wanted his tight budget to become reason for not visiting. Our family is very close and it's a small gift (honestly to ourselves) to ensure we have family time without stressing his budget.
I'm really happy we've chosen to do this and it hasn't impeded his independence. He pays for everything else and has learned to support himself on a modest graduate stipend in a HCOL area.
Just do what works best for your family.
OP here. Her coming or on a family vacation, would not be a debate.
This seems different: funding her to visit her boyfriend. It is open-ended (once I start paying for it), and I am just not sure it is appropriate.
But she’s not even asking you to. You’re setting up this straw man argument that she’s going to expect you to do this all the time and that you don’t want to… but she’s not asking you to!
Anonymous
09/25/2025 22:13
Subject: Re:Paying kids airfare?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm confused as to how a 7-hour drive is such a big deal for a 25-yr old. Leave the house at 7am, stop for a lunch break, and arrive well before dark. What is dangerous about this?
My kids regularly made drives much longer than this during college by themselves. We're talking about a 25 yr old adult.
Op cares about her daughter.
DP, and this isn’t really fair. My kids, when in college, regularly drove 7-8 hours one way coming home on breaks. I didn’t love them any less.
We'd have a parent fly out and drive with them.
Anonymous
09/25/2025 22:10
Subject: Re:Paying kids airfare?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm confused as to how a 7-hour drive is such a big deal for a 25-yr old. Leave the house at 7am, stop for a lunch break, and arrive well before dark. What is dangerous about this?
My kids regularly made drives much longer than this during college by themselves. We're talking about a 25 yr old adult.
Op cares about her daughter.
And doesn’t think her capable of driving the equivalent of Maryland to the outer banks? You know people 5-6 years younger than OPs daughter can fight in wars, right?
Sure, but you know everyone is different right?
What evidence did OP give that her daughter is “different”? OPs daughter has planned to drive to visit her boyfriend for the weekend. Seems like a normal thing for a 25 year old to do. OP is for unknown reasons trying to change her daughter’s plans to fly instead, despite maybe saving her 1-2 hours max of travel time and leaving her without a car for the weekend. And her daughter isn’t even asking for Op to do this, or mentioning that she wished she could fly instead. Guys maybe OPs daughter just wants to freaking drive because it’s going to take the same amount of time and she likes to drive and hates airports. Like- can’t we just leave this chick alone to live her life
Anonymous
09/25/2025 21:59
Subject: Paying kids airfare?
Anonymous wrote:NP here.
Our son is in the same place (fully funded graduate position, but pretty low salary for where he lives.). He is very independent and frugal and supports himself on his stipend.
We (his parents) decided early on to pay for his flights home. This is mostly for holidays, but occasionally he visits for a short break. Our thinking was that we never wanted his tight budget to become reason for not visiting. Our family is very close and it's a small gift (honestly to ourselves) to ensure we have family time without stressing his budget.
I'm really happy we've chosen to do this and it hasn't impeded his independence. He pays for everything else and has learned to support himself on a modest graduate stipend in a HCOL area.
Just do what works best for your family.
OP here. Her coming or on a family vacation, would not be a debate.
This seems different: funding her to visit her boyfriend. It is open-ended (once I start paying for it), and I am just not sure it is appropriate.
Anonymous
09/23/2025 10:21
Subject: Re:Paying kids airfare?
Anonymous wrote:I would not. Part of being an adult is going through those small struggles of things such as a 14 hr drive to see someone you love. It will make your DC a better adult and help to strengthen their relationship.
This! I think very fondly of the time I spent going to see my boyfriend when I was young. Time was cheap. And I would not want to miss those memories.
Anonymous
09/23/2025 10:03
Subject: Paying kids airfare?
PP (2 posts up, @ (9:49) who pays for graduate student's flight home for holidays.
2 points of clarification. It's a 3-day drive between locations, so flying makes a lot more sense.
No girlfriend at home. If he were flying home regularly to visit the GF, he'd be paying for some of those flights. We pay for a few flights a year so he can come home at Thanksgiving, Xmas and occasional break between terms.
2 points of clarification. It's a 3-day drive between locations, so flying makes a lot more sense.
No girlfriend at home. If he were flying home regularly to visit the GF, he'd be paying for some of those flights. We pay for a few flights a year so he can come home at Thanksgiving, Xmas and occasional break between terms.
Anonymous
09/23/2025 10:00
Subject: Paying kids airfare?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why does this require crowd sourcing? You have the money and she doesn't, and you want to treat her to something. I don't understand why this is a question. My answer would be the same if she were 45.
+1. Just pay for it if you’d like to.
If you feel it’s too “generous” for a grown child, you could always say it’s her bday/holiday/whatever gift.
You can also say you’ll do it this one time and after this, she has to pay for it herself.
+1
Anonymous
09/23/2025 09:49
Subject: Paying kids airfare?
NP here.
Our son is in the same place (fully funded graduate position, but pretty low salary for where he lives.). He is very independent and frugal and supports himself on his stipend.
We (his parents) decided early on to pay for his flights home. This is mostly for holidays, but occasionally he visits for a short break. Our thinking was that we never wanted his tight budget to become reason for not visiting. Our family is very close and it's a small gift (honestly to ourselves) to ensure we have family time without stressing his budget.
I'm really happy we've chosen to do this and it hasn't impeded his independence. He pays for everything else and has learned to support himself on a modest graduate stipend in a HCOL area.
Just do what works best for your family.
Our son is in the same place (fully funded graduate position, but pretty low salary for where he lives.). He is very independent and frugal and supports himself on his stipend.
We (his parents) decided early on to pay for his flights home. This is mostly for holidays, but occasionally he visits for a short break. Our thinking was that we never wanted his tight budget to become reason for not visiting. Our family is very close and it's a small gift (honestly to ourselves) to ensure we have family time without stressing his budget.
I'm really happy we've chosen to do this and it hasn't impeded his independence. He pays for everything else and has learned to support himself on a modest graduate stipend in a HCOL area.
Just do what works best for your family.
Anonymous
09/23/2025 09:27
Subject: Re:Paying kids airfare?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm confused as to how a 7-hour drive is such a big deal for a 25-yr old. Leave the house at 7am, stop for a lunch break, and arrive well before dark. What is dangerous about this?
My kids regularly made drives much longer than this during college by themselves. We're talking about a 25 yr old adult.
Op cares about her daughter.
DP, and this isn’t really fair. My kids, when in college, regularly drove 7-8 hours one way coming home on breaks. I didn’t love them any less.
Anonymous
09/22/2025 18:09
Subject: Re:Paying kids airfare?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm confused as to how a 7-hour drive is such a big deal for a 25-yr old. Leave the house at 7am, stop for a lunch break, and arrive well before dark. What is dangerous about this?
My kids regularly made drives much longer than this during college by themselves. We're talking about a 25 yr old adult.
Op cares about her daughter.
And doesn’t think her capable of driving the equivalent of Maryland to the outer banks? You know people 5-6 years younger than OPs daughter can fight in wars, right?
Sure, but you know everyone is different right?
Anonymous
09/22/2025 18:07
Subject: Paying kids airfare?
Yes, indeed, without hesitation.
Anonymous
09/22/2025 16:49
Subject: Re:Paying kids airfare?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm confused as to how a 7-hour drive is such a big deal for a 25-yr old. Leave the house at 7am, stop for a lunch break, and arrive well before dark. What is dangerous about this?
My kids regularly made drives much longer than this during college by themselves. We're talking about a 25 yr old adult.
Op cares about her daughter.
And doesn’t think her capable of driving the equivalent of Maryland to the outer banks? You know people 5-6 years younger than OPs daughter can fight in wars, right?
Anonymous
09/22/2025 16:25
Subject: Re:Paying kids airfare?
Anonymous wrote:I'm confused as to how a 7-hour drive is such a big deal for a 25-yr old. Leave the house at 7am, stop for a lunch break, and arrive well before dark. What is dangerous about this?
My kids regularly made drives much longer than this during college by themselves. We're talking about a 25 yr old adult.
Op cares about her daughter.
Anonymous
09/22/2025 16:05
Subject: Re:Paying kids airfare?
I'm confused as to how a 7-hour drive is such a big deal for a 25-yr old. Leave the house at 7am, stop for a lunch break, and arrive well before dark. What is dangerous about this?
My kids regularly made drives much longer than this during college by themselves. We're talking about a 25 yr old adult.
My kids regularly made drives much longer than this during college by themselves. We're talking about a 25 yr old adult.
Anonymous
09/22/2025 15:24
Subject: Paying kids airfare?
Anonymous wrote:Why does this require crowd sourcing? You have the money and she doesn't, and you want to treat her to something. I don't understand why this is a question. My answer would be the same if she were 45.
+1. Just pay for it if you’d like to.
If you feel it’s too “generous” for a grown child, you could always say it’s her bday/holiday/whatever gift.
You can also say you’ll do it this one time and after this, she has to pay for it herself.