Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP, I would suggest natural family planning. Especially since you plan to try for a baby soon, I'm not sure why this is such a big deal right now. NFP is helpful anyways for learning about your body, and it will help you GET pregnant as much as AVOID getting pregnant. Just read the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It is not religious, not connect to CC. It is just science and important info about the female body. https://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Your-Fertility-Anniversary/dp/0062326031/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1LOGJP05COAFA&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.KZYy0w0L9GiAkmKQuFtMIf1645s-MkMj8u6S9rpU8PDdbWOgTXgd6EnLhLnxgqUrZ2MvgqB1-s6DcE_aeJ8vnAbnru5tC8ZepzfF_HD8xInxLZbX_LN8BHK7XKe2Fk64aSmVS2dl62dgVumjv4tZLNg3OR63DM6UiN__yObPWmbhQrmCRVpZ9H7Ee6T7X8yQPA9UHGvKrA8QPV7qdSL17ztQ1hYBe44QnC8mEtzJW-4.hIelKD3f75I63HoHIqP7s3R5-OYtmleAuTQdabtyhGo&dib_tag=se&keywords=taking+control+of+your+fertility&qid=1756922947&sprefix=taking+control+of+your+fertility%2Caps%2C107&sr=8-1
I don't know about you, but I expect the success rate for contraceptives to be much, much higher than the success rate of conception. Saying it works as well for both suggests an awfully low bar.
The reason NFP works in both directions so to speak is that it identifies the “fertile window” of a relatively few days each month when a woman can become pregnant. If she wants to defer pregnancy, she avoids relations during that window. If she wants to become pregnant she times relations for when the target is in range. This latter approach is hardly unique to NFP users. Many women hoping to become pregnant use various methods to identify ovulation, such as test sticks.
Yes, and in practice it has a very high failure rate.
I would think anyone staunchly opposed to abortion would want to see highly effective contraception.
Did you read the “Humanae Vitae”someone else linked to earlier in this thread? It explains why the Catholic Church is opposed to both abortion and contraception. It’s pretty accurate in its predictions on how the widespread use of both would change society.
1) general moral degradation including an increase in infidelity, pre-marital pregnancy, and divorce.
2). The loss of respect for women and an increase in violence toward women.
3). Government/public authorities imposing contraception or sterilization on its citizens. This hasn’t happened in the western world, but there is certainly a social enforcement of contraceptive use for both married and unmarried women.
4). General loss of respect for human life including loss of respect for the elderly.
So, this makes sense on a social level. But I don’t know that it makes sense on an individual level when you live in a society where unplanned pregnancies, even within a marriage, are seen as almost immoral.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP, I would suggest natural family planning. Especially since you plan to try for a baby soon, I'm not sure why this is such a big deal right now. NFP is helpful anyways for learning about your body, and it will help you GET pregnant as much as AVOID getting pregnant. Just read the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It is not religious, not connect to CC. It is just science and important info about the female body. https://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Your-Fertility-Anniversary/dp/0062326031/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1LOGJP05COAFA&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.KZYy0w0L9GiAkmKQuFtMIf1645s-MkMj8u6S9rpU8PDdbWOgTXgd6EnLhLnxgqUrZ2MvgqB1-s6DcE_aeJ8vnAbnru5tC8ZepzfF_HD8xInxLZbX_LN8BHK7XKe2Fk64aSmVS2dl62dgVumjv4tZLNg3OR63DM6UiN__yObPWmbhQrmCRVpZ9H7Ee6T7X8yQPA9UHGvKrA8QPV7qdSL17ztQ1hYBe44QnC8mEtzJW-4.hIelKD3f75I63HoHIqP7s3R5-OYtmleAuTQdabtyhGo&dib_tag=se&keywords=taking+control+of+your+fertility&qid=1756922947&sprefix=taking+control+of+your+fertility%2Caps%2C107&sr=8-1
I don't know about you, but I expect the success rate for contraceptives to be much, much higher than the success rate of conception. Saying it works as well for both suggests an awfully low bar.
The reason NFP works in both directions so to speak is that it identifies the “fertile window” of a relatively few days each month when a woman can become pregnant. If she wants to defer pregnancy, she avoids relations during that window. If she wants to become pregnant she times relations for when the target is in range. This latter approach is hardly unique to NFP users. Many women hoping to become pregnant use various methods to identify ovulation, such as test sticks.
Yes, and in practice it has a very high failure rate.
I would think anyone staunchly opposed to abortion would want to see highly effective contraception.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP, I would suggest natural family planning. Especially since you plan to try for a baby soon, I'm not sure why this is such a big deal right now. NFP is helpful anyways for learning about your body, and it will help you GET pregnant as much as AVOID getting pregnant. Just read the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It is not religious, not connect to CC. It is just science and important info about the female body. https://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Your-Fertility-Anniversary/dp/0062326031/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1LOGJP05COAFA&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.KZYy0w0L9GiAkmKQuFtMIf1645s-MkMj8u6S9rpU8PDdbWOgTXgd6EnLhLnxgqUrZ2MvgqB1-s6DcE_aeJ8vnAbnru5tC8ZepzfF_HD8xInxLZbX_LN8BHK7XKe2Fk64aSmVS2dl62dgVumjv4tZLNg3OR63DM6UiN__yObPWmbhQrmCRVpZ9H7Ee6T7X8yQPA9UHGvKrA8QPV7qdSL17ztQ1hYBe44QnC8mEtzJW-4.hIelKD3f75I63HoHIqP7s3R5-OYtmleAuTQdabtyhGo&dib_tag=se&keywords=taking+control+of+your+fertility&qid=1756922947&sprefix=taking+control+of+your+fertility%2Caps%2C107&sr=8-1
I don't know about you, but I expect the success rate for contraceptives to be much, much higher than the success rate of conception. Saying it works as well for both suggests an awfully low bar.
The reason NFP works in both directions so to speak is that it identifies the “fertile window” of a relatively few days each month when a woman can become pregnant. If she wants to defer pregnancy, she avoids relations during that window. If she wants to become pregnant she times relations for when the target is in range. This latter approach is hardly unique to NFP users. Many women hoping to become pregnant use various methods to identify ovulation, such as test sticks.
Yes, and in practice it has a very high failure rate.
I would think anyone staunchly opposed to abortion would want to see highly effective contraception.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP, I would suggest natural family planning. Especially since you plan to try for a baby soon, I'm not sure why this is such a big deal right now. NFP is helpful anyways for learning about your body, and it will help you GET pregnant as much as AVOID getting pregnant. Just read the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It is not religious, not connect to CC. It is just science and important info about the female body. https://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Your-Fertility-Anniversary/dp/0062326031/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1LOGJP05COAFA&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.KZYy0w0L9GiAkmKQuFtMIf1645s-MkMj8u6S9rpU8PDdbWOgTXgd6EnLhLnxgqUrZ2MvgqB1-s6DcE_aeJ8vnAbnru5tC8ZepzfF_HD8xInxLZbX_LN8BHK7XKe2Fk64aSmVS2dl62dgVumjv4tZLNg3OR63DM6UiN__yObPWmbhQrmCRVpZ9H7Ee6T7X8yQPA9UHGvKrA8QPV7qdSL17ztQ1hYBe44QnC8mEtzJW-4.hIelKD3f75I63HoHIqP7s3R5-OYtmleAuTQdabtyhGo&dib_tag=se&keywords=taking+control+of+your+fertility&qid=1756922947&sprefix=taking+control+of+your+fertility%2Caps%2C107&sr=8-1
I don't know about you, but I expect the success rate for contraceptives to be much, much higher than the success rate of conception. Saying it works as well for both suggests an awfully low bar.
The reason NFP works in both directions so to speak is that it identifies the “fertile window” of a relatively few days each month when a woman can become pregnant. If she wants to defer pregnancy, she avoids relations during that window. If she wants to become pregnant she times relations for when the target is in range. This latter approach is hardly unique to NFP users. Many women hoping to become pregnant use various methods to identify ovulation, such as test sticks.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP, I would suggest natural family planning. Especially since you plan to try for a baby soon, I'm not sure why this is such a big deal right now. NFP is helpful anyways for learning about your body, and it will help you GET pregnant as much as AVOID getting pregnant. Just read the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It is not religious, not connect to CC. It is just science and important info about the female body. https://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Your-Fertility-Anniversary/dp/0062326031/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1LOGJP05COAFA&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.KZYy0w0L9GiAkmKQuFtMIf1645s-MkMj8u6S9rpU8PDdbWOgTXgd6EnLhLnxgqUrZ2MvgqB1-s6DcE_aeJ8vnAbnru5tC8ZepzfF_HD8xInxLZbX_LN8BHK7XKe2Fk64aSmVS2dl62dgVumjv4tZLNg3OR63DM6UiN__yObPWmbhQrmCRVpZ9H7Ee6T7X8yQPA9UHGvKrA8QPV7qdSL17ztQ1hYBe44QnC8mEtzJW-4.hIelKD3f75I63HoHIqP7s3R5-OYtmleAuTQdabtyhGo&dib_tag=se&keywords=taking+control+of+your+fertility&qid=1756922947&sprefix=taking+control+of+your+fertility%2Caps%2C107&sr=8-1
I don't know about you, but I expect the success rate for contraceptives to be much, much higher than the success rate of conception. Saying it works as well for both suggests an awfully low bar.
Anonymous wrote:OP, I would suggest natural family planning. Especially since you plan to try for a baby soon, I'm not sure why this is such a big deal right now. NFP is helpful anyways for learning about your body, and it will help you GET pregnant as much as AVOID getting pregnant. Just read the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It is not religious, not connect to CC. It is just science and important info about the female body. https://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Your-Fertility-Anniversary/dp/0062326031/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1LOGJP05COAFA&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.KZYy0w0L9GiAkmKQuFtMIf1645s-MkMj8u6S9rpU8PDdbWOgTXgd6EnLhLnxgqUrZ2MvgqB1-s6DcE_aeJ8vnAbnru5tC8ZepzfF_HD8xInxLZbX_LN8BHK7XKe2Fk64aSmVS2dl62dgVumjv4tZLNg3OR63DM6UiN__yObPWmbhQrmCRVpZ9H7Ee6T7X8yQPA9UHGvKrA8QPV7qdSL17ztQ1hYBe44QnC8mEtzJW-4.hIelKD3f75I63HoHIqP7s3R5-OYtmleAuTQdabtyhGo&dib_tag=se&keywords=taking+control+of+your+fertility&qid=1756922947&sprefix=taking+control+of+your+fertility%2Caps%2C107&sr=8-1
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You are right on the facts as presented by the Roman church. Confession is valid when one has a contrite heart and "full purpose of amendment of life". Obviously you have a soft heart, but you do not intend to conform you life to RC teaching on this issue.
But be comforted. Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners. The Roman church may well be wrong on this issue. They say they are infallible on doctrine, but the rest of Christendom disagrees. You are trusting Christ to stand in your place at judgment not only for those sins that you have carefully documented during confession, but also for errors in judgment and weakness of the flesh and will.
Obviously you're not Catholic, if you're calling it "The Roman Church." Catholics don't call it that. Only people dissing it call it "the Roman Church."
I'm obviously not Roman Catholic. But, like many Protestants, I don't think that the Roman Catholic church has a monopoly on the word "Catholic" or even on capitalizing it. I hold the standard Protestant view that all who are in Christ are in the holy Catholic church (to borrow the words of the Apostles Creed). I'm not dissing the Roman Catholic church, but I also don't grant to it the view that it is *the* Catholic church. It is *part* of the Catholic church.
Cradle Catholic, now Lutheran, and I agree.
That's fair, but do you really want to be associated with the Catholic brand right now? Distance and differentiation would seem to be desirable based on the last 30 years.
Except for Sister Act (and even Sister Act II). Are you betting on the success of Sister Act 3 to elevate the standing of the Catholic brand?
Wtf are you talking about
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My advice would be to go to confession and just tell the priest how you feel. Exactly how you wrote it above. Not all priests are great, but many are. Maybe he would be willing to commence a conversation with you about it. The fact that you want to go back to confession is great - he will be happy. And if you are open to even a conversation about it, any good priest would be more than happy to walk through the theology of it and talk to you about your fears and your options.
Right, a good priest will talk to you and listen to you and ultimately tell you to use the rhythm method or leave the church. But you'll feel good about it all, because he's a good priest.
Modern Natural Family Planning is as far from the so-called “rhythm method” as ancient cow-dung pessaries. There is a “standard days” method; a method involving symptom/mucus observation; one that adds observation of basal body temperature; and methods that further include saliva microscopes, ovulation testing and fertility monitoring devices. The “failure” rate of NFP is extremely low, and it has the advantage of also aiding in becoming pregnant when that is what is desired. Nothing is “perfect.” Even tubal ligations and vasectomy fail.
Women should have control over their own bodies. Full stop.
And the failure rate for NFP is not low. That is a straight up lie.
Vasectomies and tubal ligations rarely fail. Rarely, and usually due to incompetence. Ask lawyers.
I’ll just ask my sister, thanks.
NFP actually involves a woman taking “control over her own body” and learning how it works so she can apply that knowledge to achieve or to delay pregnancy. NFP requires partner cooperation at a far more significant level than chemical or even barrier contraception, which can leave women feeling like they have to be “available” whether they feel like it or not. NFP differs from artificial contraception by taking advantage of natural periods of fertility and non-fertility. From a religious standpoint it is adaptive to divine design rather than interfering with it.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My advice would be to go to confession and just tell the priest how you feel. Exactly how you wrote it above. Not all priests are great, but many are. Maybe he would be willing to commence a conversation with you about it. The fact that you want to go back to confession is great - he will be happy. And if you are open to even a conversation about it, any good priest would be more than happy to walk through the theology of it and talk to you about your fears and your options.
Right, a good priest will talk to you and listen to you and ultimately tell you to use the rhythm method or leave the church. But you'll feel good about it all, because he's a good priest.
Modern Natural Family Planning is as far from the so-called “rhythm method” as ancient cow-dung pessaries. There is a “standard days” method; a method involving symptom/mucus observation; one that adds observation of basal body temperature; and methods that further include saliva microscopes, ovulation testing and fertility monitoring devices. The “failure” rate of NFP is extremely low, and it has the advantage of also aiding in becoming pregnant when that is what is desired. Nothing is “perfect.” Even tubal ligations and vasectomy fail.
They don't call it the rhythm method anymore, but it's still the same natural, ineffective way. If it doesn't work -- you have a baby. The Science is better, though -- thank God for modern science.
No, it’s not the “same” as stone-age calendar estimating. To the contrary, it is the product of “modern science.”
“If it doesn’t work — you have a baby.”
Wow, just like chemical method failures, IUD failures; barrier failures; withdrawal failures; and surgical failures.
And unlike other approaches it identifies fertile periods and thus aids couples who decide they want to have a child.
DP. NFP is great … for women who CHOOSE IT and have the ability to do it succinctly. what is not great is the Catholic Church’s frankly demented refusal to allow any other type of birth control on the logically unjustifiable grounds that using a SALIVA MICROSCOPE for NFP is somehow more in line with god’s will than using a condom or the pill. The reasoning is like, really really bizarre, and does not really correspond to anything in logic, family needs, relationship needs, much less the freakin’ Bible. This doctrine literally only exists to create a sexual taboo.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My advice would be to go to confession and just tell the priest how you feel. Exactly how you wrote it above. Not all priests are great, but many are. Maybe he would be willing to commence a conversation with you about it. The fact that you want to go back to confession is great - he will be happy. And if you are open to even a conversation about it, any good priest would be more than happy to walk through the theology of it and talk to you about your fears and your options.
Right, a good priest will talk to you and listen to you and ultimately tell you to use the rhythm method or leave the church. But you'll feel good about it all, because he's a good priest.
Modern Natural Family Planning is as far from the so-called “rhythm method” as ancient cow-dung pessaries. There is a “standard days” method; a method involving symptom/mucus observation; one that adds observation of basal body temperature; and methods that further include saliva microscopes, ovulation testing and fertility monitoring devices. The “failure” rate of NFP is extremely low, and it has the advantage of also aiding in becoming pregnant when that is what is desired. Nothing is “perfect.” Even tubal ligations and vasectomy fail.
They don't call it the rhythm method anymore, but it's still the same natural, ineffective way. If it doesn't work -- you have a baby. The Science is better, though -- thank God for modern science.
No, it’s not the “same” as stone-age calendar estimating. To the contrary, it is the product of “modern science.”
“If it doesn’t work — you have a baby.”
Wow, just like chemical method failures, IUD failures; barrier failures; withdrawal failures; and surgical failures.
And unlike other approaches it identifies fertile periods and thus aids couples who decide they want to have a child.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Thank you for the responses.
I went to confession today. I am glad I went but was essentially told to resolve the birth control issue before having relations with my spouse again. So I'm in a challenging situation now.
Are you and your spouse done having children?
If so, I know many in my parents’ generation that had their tubes tied or spouse had a vasectomy. They went to confession and were absolved but were not required to get a reversal.
We do not have children. Ironically, we are planning to start trying for children in the next year or so! But this will be an ongoing issue until I'm not able to have children.
My spouse is not Catholic. So I guess for him, it would be okay to have a vasectomy. But I feel sort of funny bending the rules like that.
The amount of guilt is a lot...
Interesting. I assumed from your OP that you converted because of your husband. Why did you choose to convert to Catholicism?
Kind of a long story. I was raised in the evangelical church, but had a lot of Catholic family members so went to mass and other Catholic events periodically. I always loved the beauty of the liturgy and the traditions. I fell away from any kind of organized religion for a while. As an adult, I began to reconnect with my faith and didn't resonate with the church I'd grown up in, so I became Catholic. I was young and will fully admit I was not as educated as I should have been on this.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My advice would be to go to confession and just tell the priest how you feel. Exactly how you wrote it above. Not all priests are great, but many are. Maybe he would be willing to commence a conversation with you about it. The fact that you want to go back to confession is great - he will be happy. And if you are open to even a conversation about it, any good priest would be more than happy to walk through the theology of it and talk to you about your fears and your options.
Right, a good priest will talk to you and listen to you and ultimately tell you to use the rhythm method or leave the church. But you'll feel good about it all, because he's a good priest.
Modern Natural Family Planning is as far from the so-called “rhythm method” as ancient cow-dung pessaries. There is a “standard days” method; a method involving symptom/mucus observation; one that adds observation of basal body temperature; and methods that further include saliva microscopes, ovulation testing and fertility monitoring devices. The “failure” rate of NFP is extremely low, and it has the advantage of also aiding in becoming pregnant when that is what is desired. Nothing is “perfect.” Even tubal ligations and vasectomy fail.
They don't call it the rhythm method anymore, but it's still the same natural, ineffective way. If it doesn't work -- you have a baby. The Science is better, though -- thank God for modern science.
No, it’s not the “same” as stone-age calendar estimating. To the contrary, it is the product of “modern science.”
“If it doesn’t work — you have a baby.”
Wow, just like chemical method failures, IUD failures; barrier failures; withdrawal failures; and surgical failures.
And unlike other approaches it identifies fertile periods and thus aids couples who decide they want to have a child.
Anonymous wrote:OP, I would suggest natural family planning. Especially since you plan to try for a baby soon, I'm not sure why this is such a big deal right now. NFP is helpful anyways for learning about your body, and it will help you GET pregnant as much as AVOID getting pregnant. Just read the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It is not religious, not connect to CC. It is just science and important info about the female body. https://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Your-Fertility-Anniversary/dp/0062326031/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1LOGJP05COAFA&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.KZYy0w0L9GiAkmKQuFtMIf1645s-MkMj8u6S9rpU8PDdbWOgTXgd6EnLhLnxgqUrZ2MvgqB1-s6DcE_aeJ8vnAbnru5tC8ZepzfF_HD8xInxLZbX_LN8BHK7XKe2Fk64aSmVS2dl62dgVumjv4tZLNg3OR63DM6UiN__yObPWmbhQrmCRVpZ9H7Ee6T7X8yQPA9UHGvKrA8QPV7qdSL17ztQ1hYBe44QnC8mEtzJW-4.hIelKD3f75I63HoHIqP7s3R5-OYtmleAuTQdabtyhGo&dib_tag=se&keywords=taking+control+of+your+fertility&qid=1756922947&sprefix=taking+control+of+your+fertility%2Caps%2C107&sr=8-1
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My advice would be to go to confession and just tell the priest how you feel. Exactly how you wrote it above. Not all priests are great, but many are. Maybe he would be willing to commence a conversation with you about it. The fact that you want to go back to confession is great - he will be happy. And if you are open to even a conversation about it, any good priest would be more than happy to walk through the theology of it and talk to you about your fears and your options.
Right, a good priest will talk to you and listen to you and ultimately tell you to use the rhythm method or leave the church. But you'll feel good about it all, because he's a good priest.
Modern Natural Family Planning is as far from the so-called “rhythm method” as ancient cow-dung pessaries. There is a “standard days” method; a method involving symptom/mucus observation; one that adds observation of basal body temperature; and methods that further include saliva microscopes, ovulation testing and fertility monitoring devices. The “failure” rate of NFP is extremely low, and it has the advantage of also aiding in becoming pregnant when that is what is desired. Nothing is “perfect.” Even tubal ligations and vasectomy fail.
Women should have control over their own bodies. Full stop.
And the failure rate for NFP is not low. That is a straight up lie.
Vasectomies and tubal ligations rarely fail. Rarely, and usually due to incompetence. Ask lawyers.
I’ll just ask my sister, thanks.
NFP actually involves a woman taking “control over her own body” and learning how it works so she can apply that knowledge to achieve or to delay pregnancy. NFP requires partner cooperation at a far more significant level than chemical or even barrier contraception, which can leave women feeling like they have to be “available” whether they feel like it or not. NFP differs from artificial contraception by taking advantage of natural periods of fertility and non-fertility. From a religious standpoint it is adaptive to divine design rather than interfering with it.
Anonymous wrote:I would recommend everyone just stop posting in this thread.
DCUM is full of anti Catholic haters that will question everything. They don't care about Catholic teachings or know them, they just hate the Church. They add nothing.
There must be better forums to get Catholic advice or, as already stated, work with a priest on this issue.