My mom made it clear she did not like fraternities and sororities but said if I wanted to rush, she supported it. Went to the first night of rush and it just felt so fakey fake fake. I hated it. So I dropped out. (And no, I was not cut from all the good houses. Not even close.) Some of my friends were in sororities and some were not. None of my closest friends were super into their sorority at all. I was happy with my college experience then and happy with it now. The only thing I have ever said to my kids was, "I did the first night of rush and it wasn't my thing." I will not in any way try to influence their decision. I am guessing my son and daughter will both rush. Okay. Cool.

Anonymous wrote:Nay. It's not in our budget. I guess that's part of the goal-- not having to be friends with us poor people.

At my daughter's school, sorority dues plus sorority housing is less expensive than dorms or off-campus apartments so students can save $$ by being in a sorority as long as they live in the house.

It’s totally up to my kids. DS1 is super social and has been expressing interest in fraternities since he was a freshman in HS. DS2 has social anxiety and is a homebody. He isn’t interested and we’re not going to push him.

Greek life can be an amazing experience for the right kids.

It depends on the organization. I was in a very chill sorority that didn't do any hazing and wasn't weirdly strict, but my close friend was in one that was really weirdly cruel to the pledges and she ended up dropping out of it.

DD received a bid and joined a sorority her freshman year. This was after she had joined and taken on leadership roles in a few organizations in which she was interested. As much as she wants to be active in the sorority, she does not feel the same connection to the members that she does in the organizations she joined based on common interest. The sorority is new (they rush second semester, so she has only been a member about six months, including summer months) so hopefully she'll find her place there because right now she's not seeing the benefit.

Anonymous wrote:My kid is in a fraternity and it’s saving us a ton of money on housing. Much less than what the school charges for on campus housing and less than off campus (because you are paying for a year and decent off campus isn’t cheap). Easily a 50% savings. Dues are his responsibility but also not that expensive.

So…at least for us it was a financial no brainer.

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Same for us. After living it up in one of those fancy apartments where they had their own room, bathroom, pool and fancy ammenities, living in a shared room and bathroom in the sorority house is sort of a step down.

I wish my daughter could live there every year, but they only let juniors live in the house. It would save us a lot of money.

My kid is in a fraternity and it’s saving us a ton of money on housing. Much less than what the school charges for on campus housing and less than off campus (because you are paying for a year and decent off campus isn’t cheap). Easily a 50% savings. Dues are his responsibility but also not that expensive.

So…at least for us it was a financial no brainer.

I honestly don’t care as long as my kids are happy.

Anonymous wrote:Will you encourage or discourage your Freshman to join a fraternity or sorority?

I never joined because I did not want to pay money for a group of older students to force me to clean their house, wash their cars, attend mandatory drinking parties, wear conforming clothes, and be abused in a hazing ritual.

I withstood the peer pressure and opted out. I will encourage my children to opt out also when it comes time for college.

You sound like a curmudgeon and a snob. If my kids asked for my opinion I’d encourage them to Rush because doing that is noncommittal and enough for them to make their own decision. I don’t think joining or not joining is something parents need to weigh in about.

Anonymous wrote:I always laugh at these threads. Clearly they’re started by insecure and/or unattractive women. We get it — you couldn’t rush yourself because you didn’t have what it takes and you’re still bitter about it all these years later.

Well, you certainly are doing an excellent job of reinforcing the stereotype of sorority girls being catty, superficial, and unsupportive… and downright mean. Presumably, Not every sorority girl is as bad as you but you sure are a good reason not to join one.

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Anonymous wrote:Let the kid decide.

Given that OP was never in a sorority, not sure why they have such an opinion about something they never experienced.

Are the kids paying for it? Sorry money bags but cost is absolutely illegitimate consideration.

Then make it about your budget plan, not an uninformed opinion.

The opinions of people that are in fraternities and sororities are valuable for this thread. And the people that were not in fraternities and sororities also have value bowl opinions if they had their reasons for not joining and and apparently had perfectly interesting, successful and fun journeys through college without a fraternity and a sorority.

Serious question. If you were never in a sorority or fraternity should your opinion as to what truly being in one is really like be valued as opposed to someone that actually experienced it first hand? I mean I think the OP was looking for actual feedback based on experience not some weird preconceived notions passed on to their own children not based on their own experiences.

I had a bad experience with a conservative, hard drinking frat boy and there were plenty more like him. The activity at this frat was a lot of drinking and then more drinking and then more drinking. I consider it to be destructive and that is a valid opinion. Ymmv.

It’s valid in that you observed it and didn’t like it. Is it relevant? Maybe.

There are going to be comments in this thread about the advantages of fraternities. There are going to be comments in the thread about the disadvantages of fraternities. You should probably find a way to cope with that if you're going to be reading this thread.