The gun/male questions gets discussed a lot on DCUM for sleepovers.

And in real life, no one I know has ever asked them!

I've been on DCUM for more than 15 years and my kids are now young adults and teens. We've lived in the suburbs of DC for all that time.

If you have to ask, maybe you should not be planning a sleepover with these families.

Also, to the weirdos who have hangs-up about males in the house, don't make yourself look bad by saying that out loud to a potential host. My oldest is a boy and my youngest is a girl. I would have found it extremely offensive if you had told me that my husband or son were suspect to you. Better keep those thoughts to yourself, see?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can ask anything you feel concerned about, just to be polite and let the host know you and your child’s nervous and no offense. I didn’t let mine do sleep over and glad I made the right decision, since I later heard the host invited a lot of friends/relatives and they all stayed, filled each room floor. It’s just too concerning if you don’t know anything in advance.

Absolutely NO: adult or teen males, and no guns (real or toy ones).

I hope you're joking.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can ask anything you feel concerned about, just to be polite and let the host know you and your child’s nervous and no offense. I didn’t let mine do sleep over and glad I made the right decision, since I later heard the host invited a lot of friends/relatives and they all stayed, filled each room floor. It’s just too concerning if you don’t know anything in advance.

Absolutely NO: adult or teen males, and no guns (real or toy ones).

Wait, so do you expect the dads to leave when your kids are over? My kids have friends whose dads are super involved, as is my husband. They will often take the kids to activities and make them breakfast. I can't fathom telling the mom sorry, I need your husband to go stay in a hotel tonight while my kids spend the night.

I don’t think this is a big ask. The dad / adult boy(s) can just stay at a nearby relative or friends house for one night.

Why not?

You're insane. They are supposed to leave their own house and impose on someone else? We don't have any nearby relatives nearby and no way I'm doing this to a friend. "Hi Jen, can Dan come over and stay with your family tonight? Larla is having another sleepover."

To the PP asking about her 5 year old’s friends from camp and drop off play dates: we only do drop off dates with families we know a bit about from social or school events, like multiple conversations at school drop off. I usually suggest our house first and invite the parent to stay. Or, playground/beach/pool type hangs where I get to know the family.

Sleepovers for my 8 yo are a hard no unless I know the family super well (like vacation together well). I’ll probably have to revisit that as she gets older.

Ask about guns. No sleepovers.