Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP are you of a different:
-religion than that group of 4 moms?
-ethnicty?
-race?
-age?
-fatter/skinnier than them?
-work/sahm and they are opposite?
-you are/not involved in school's PTSA and they are opposite of your level of involvement?
-your maritial status different than theirs.

So many petty reasons. Middle aged women are sometimes worse than a middle school clique, imho.

I find a lot of women are very picky about friendships, much like they were in high school, and any of those factors listed above can exclude you.

Me? It's because I am overweight and have so health issues.

You have a victim complex that tells you people don’t want to be friends with you because you’re overweight, but it’s because you have a victim complex. I have no issue making friends with people if they have an interesting personality and are pleasant to be around, regardless of their weight. I do have issues being around people who constantly make themselves out to be some kind of long suffering victim or martyr. Lots of people are overweight and have health issues - this is not your problem.

I'm not the prior poster, but where I live overweight women are the butt of jokes or false comments. They are left out. Women don't like to be around women they view as less attractive than them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP are you of a different:
-religion than that group of 4 moms?
-ethnicty?
-race?
-age?
-fatter/skinnier than them?
-work/sahm and they are opposite?
-you are/not involved in school's PTSA and they are opposite of your level of involvement?
-your maritial status different than theirs.

So many petty reasons. Middle aged women are sometimes worse than a middle school clique, imho.

I find a lot of women are very picky about friendships, much like they were in high school, and any of those factors listed above can exclude you.

Me? It's because I am overweight and have so health issues.

You have a victim complex that tells you people don’t want to be friends with you because you’re overweight, but it’s because you have a victim complex. I have no issue making friends with people if they have an interesting personality and are pleasant to be around, regardless of their weight. I do have issues being around people who constantly make themselves out to be some kind of long suffering victim or martyr. Lots of people are overweight and have health issues - this is not your problem.

It is most definitely them OP.

Sounds to me like they have established their own clique amongst themselves and view you as an outsider at best.

In the future being civil w/them is all that is needed - - do not waste your time + attention on them.

It might have nothing to do with you. People sometimes can't handle the work that goes into making and nurturing new friendships. Sometimes when your emotional bandwidth is at its limit, it's easier just to stick with the people you already know. I meet new people all the time, and I enjoy meeting them, but I don't always have the time or energy to keep that energy going.

Anonymous wrote:OP are you of a different:
-religion than that group of 4 moms?
-ethnicty?
-race?
-age?
-fatter/skinnier than them?
-work/sahm and they are opposite?
-you are/not involved in school's PTSA and they are opposite of your level of involvement?
-your maritial status different than theirs.

So many petty reasons. Middle aged women are sometimes worse than a middle school clique, imho.

Np, and this was my first thought too. What about you is different from them? This is likely where the answer lies.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are polite, which is good. They are also disinterested in your involvement. IME it is more helpful to back off rather than try to become closer. When your kids are interacting, make an offhand comment here and there "Gee, Larlo is getting good with his dives!" but generally take in how the group works for a while. You don't get an automatic in to a friend group because your kids are friends. Slow the process down and listen more than share. Another PP suggested bringing activities or other information to the table and that's a good idea, too.

Alternatively don’t even try. Make your own friends and don’t get involved in any mom group dynamics.

+1 Really not worth it. Trust me, these ladies have very little of interest to discuss.

Anonymous wrote:They are polite, which is good. They are also disinterested in your involvement. IME it is more helpful to back off rather than try to become closer. When your kids are interacting, make an offhand comment here and there "Gee, Larlo is getting good with his dives!" but generally take in how the group works for a while. You don't get an automatic in to a friend group because your kids are friends. Slow the process down and listen more than share. Another PP suggested bringing activities or other information to the table and that's a good idea, too.

Alternatively don’t even try. Make your own friends and don’t get involved in any mom group dynamics.

They are polite, which is good. They are also disinterested in your involvement. IME it is more helpful to back off rather than try to become closer. When your kids are interacting, make an offhand comment here and there "Gee, Larlo is getting good with his dives!" but generally take in how the group works for a while. You don't get an automatic in to a friend group because your kids are friends. Slow the process down and listen more than share. Another PP suggested bringing activities or other information to the table and that's a good idea, too.

Just posting to sympathize with OP. I have two kids at two different schools. I'm friendly with lots of people at one kids and have even formed a handful of real friendships. The other... is a different story. No one is rude, but anytime I am at an event for the school, I have to make every effort to make small talk as no one ever approaches me. When I, occasionally, approach a group of ladies, they all stop talking as though I've interrupted something serious on the sidelines of a children's sporting event. I've never had an issue making friends and even though I am not shy, it does make me want to crawl inside myself so I've decided to just hang back now. OP, we are who we are!