Depending on who it is, I’d probably tell the truth: that I feel weird talking about it. Then I’d mention how I like to go on Reddit finance forums since they are a safe space to learn and talk about money. And I’d recommend a few of my favs (if it seemed like they were just curious amount money and not being nosey).

The thing is, people should talk about money! Message boards are great for that sort of thing, since it won’t lead to people wanting to borrow money. I have actually learned so much from DCUM. When I was younger I thought maxing your 401k meant putting enough aside to get your employer match. I was so clueless.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DHs family shares this kind of info and it drives me nuts. When one of them asks me anything I just make sh!t up.

The problem with lying is that people repeat the lies as gossip. Then people may ask for money.

I’m so glad I’m privileged enough not to have family members asking for money. Who does this?

I've had co-workers I didn't know well ask for loans. A kid's mom in my kid's preschool class befriended me just so she could ask for money when she was in over her head on a home purchase. A person I had dropped as a friend was trying to hunt me down to ask for money because her useless, shiftless dh got sued by people he ripped off. My dh's brother started dating a seriously sketchy woman who hadn't paid taxes in years and was in trouble. Brother never forgave dh for refusing to "loan" the girlfriend thousands to get her out of trouble. Every one of these people are financial idiots who continued to have financial emergencies years later despite having good jobs and good pay.

Anonymous wrote:If it's a co-worker and they want to know if they're on the right track, then I might answer their question.

I like coming on here and reading about how much other posters have and how old they are. It helps motivate me and gives me an idea on how bad or how good I'm doing.

You would be a fool to answer that question to anyone. It will only cause problems. No one would ask that to see if "they're on track".

Anonymous wrote:My DHs family shares this kind of info and it drives me nuts. When one of them asks me anything I just make sh!t up.

Why aren't you direct? Why lie? I would make a point of letting them know that it is a rude question and they would get nothing out of me. I would probably tell them they need to worry about their own finances.

I say i have no idea, because I really have no idea. I know it’s enough though🤷🏻‍♀️

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it’s a good friend I will talk about money. People are so secretive for no reason. Maybe it’s because I’m an accountant, but I am emotionally detached from the idea of money. It’s a tool, I like to have it, but ultimately it doesn’t define me one way or the other. If I can help someone else plan better for the future I’ll do it.

BS - it doesn't define you. We can approximate with your clothing, choices, anx lifestyle. These are what defines you and money inevitably defines those.

Hahaha. No. Some people spend way more than they should, others would have you think they are paupers. My uncle retired at 50, lived in a trailer with his wife (though they owned a small home in the city) and traveled North America for 35 years. They came home once a year. They gave everyone in their family (including cousins, cousins children) $5 for Christmas. No one knew they were worth multiple millions of dollars …. and never invested a dime outside of savings until their late 70s. Old municipal government retirement pensions, priceless!

I know a few people including relatives (without the pensions) who died like this. One family friend lived in a house with no indoor plumbing. It was an old family place passed down to him and didn’t want to remodel it. He anonymously donated money annually to keep the local parade and festival going. It is now a resort town with plenty of celebrity residents. LOL. He walked around barefoot most of the time and sometimes people thought he was a beggar. He was an extreme example of the millionaire next door. Both of my examples were both mentally sound, they just didn’t feel like they had to live by other people’s rules.

I would say, "not enough", regardless of the truth. Better to think you ate struggling than well off.

“None of your business”

“Enough to meet our goals”

“Not sure of the exact amount, haven’t checked my 401k in awhile, but on track to meet our goals.”

I know someone who asks stuff like that. She will asked about social security and pensions, 401ks, savings. It's super rude. She is a major gossip and she makes stuff up if she doesn't know. Which just makes it worse. I avoid leaking any info to her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it’s a good friend I will talk about money. People are so secretive for no reason. Maybe it’s because I’m an accountant, but I am emotionally detached from the idea of money. It’s a tool, I like to have it, but ultimately it doesn’t define me one way or the other. If I can help someone else plan better for the future I’ll do it.

BS - it doesn't define you. We can approximate with your clothing, choices, anx lifestyle. These are what defines you and money inevitably defines those.

What kinds of clothing, choices and lifestyle markers do you think are indications of certain retirement savings amounts?

I think clothing is definitely NOT a marker. It’s what poor or lower middle class people think is but in reality is just what apparel companies want you to think so you’ll buy their products. In fact, the jeans and t-shirt guy may be more likely to spend six-seven figures in a luxury store than the person dressed to the nines or wearing that big logo luxury brand shirt. Other than their homes, time is usually the giveaway for UHNW wealth. Can they fly out on a moment’s notice to go to a concert in London, spend a week in Barbados, etc? I know folks like that who don’t have to think about scheduling vacation, clients, or other demands on their time. We’ve been invited before and realize that as wealthy working professionals, you just don’t have that option.

One of the few things I like about the tech bros and Hollywood actors is that they have made it so service people are nice to people regardless of clothing. They don’t know if someone bummy is a multimillionaire ready to spend.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it’s a good friend I will talk about money. People are so secretive for no reason. Maybe it’s because I’m an accountant, but I am emotionally detached from the idea of money. It’s a tool, I like to have it, but ultimately it doesn’t define me one way or the other. If I can help someone else plan better for the future I’ll do it.

BS - it doesn't define you. We can approximate with your clothing, choices, anx lifestyle. These are what defines you and money inevitably defines those.

What kinds of clothing, choices and lifestyle markers do you think are indications of certain retirement savings amounts?

I think clothing is definitely NOT a marker. It’s what poor or lower middle class people think is but in reality is just what apparel companies want you to think so you’ll buy their products. In fact, the jeans and t-shirt guy may be more likely to spend six-seven figures in a luxury store than the person dressed to the nines or wearing that big logo luxury brand shirt. Other than their homes, time is usually the giveaway for UHNW wealth. Can they fly out on a moment’s notice to go to a concert in London, spend a week in Barbados, etc? I know folks like that who don’t have to think about scheduling vacation, clients, or other demands on their time. We’ve been invited before and realize that as wealthy working professionals, you just don’t have that option.

UHNW is a different conversation. This thread is more about working stiffs who have to save for retirement.

No asks the specific amount. A close friend who has struggled with job consistency and dipped into his 401k recently has asked DH if we have retirement savings… I think he asked bc he’s concerned about his own personal situation… DH just said Yup we’ve saved. And revealed nothing else.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it’s a good friend I will talk about money. People are so secretive for no reason. Maybe it’s because I’m an accountant, but I am emotionally detached from the idea of money. It’s a tool, I like to have it, but ultimately it doesn’t define me one way or the other. If I can help someone else plan better for the future I’ll do it.

BS - it doesn't define you. We can approximate with your clothing, choices, anx lifestyle. These are what defines you and money inevitably defines those.

What kinds of clothing, choices and lifestyle markers do you think are indications of certain retirement savings amounts?

I think clothing is definitely NOT a marker. It’s what poor or lower middle class people think is but in reality is just what apparel companies want you to think so you’ll buy their products. In fact, the jeans and t-shirt guy may be more likely to spend six-seven figures in a luxury store than the person dressed to the nines or wearing that big logo luxury brand shirt. Other than their homes, time is usually the giveaway for UHNW wealth. Can they fly out on a moment’s notice to go to a concert in London, spend a week in Barbados, etc? I know folks like that who don’t have to think about scheduling vacation, clients, or other demands on their time. We’ve been invited before and realize that as wealthy working professionals, you just don’t have that option.

No one asks this.

Anonymous wrote:I just say I save the maximum every year.

Why would you answer at all?

It's a weird, nosey question. I smell bad intentions.