Anonymous
08/19/2025 08:53
Subject: Why do parents RSVP with more than the invited child?
Some families think you all need to do everything together. Like when the mom, dad, and kids are at the grocery together. Why would one adult not just do this chore alone? They think Saturdays mean rolling deep to parties, games, errands, etc. Not for me, but they think this is normal/desirable.
Anonymous
08/19/2025 03:02
Subject: Why do parents RSVP with more than the invited child?
Anonymous wrote:Can we just agree that some people are more hospitable, and others are less hospitable? Done. End of endless argument.
Can we just agree that people who bring more people than the invited person to someone else’s party are rude and entitled? Done. End of endless argument.
Anonymous
08/07/2025 09:43
Subject: Why do parents RSVP with more than the invited child?
JFC is it possible to have ONE discussion on this board that doesn’t turn into a racist/xenophobic dumpster fire?
Anonymous
08/07/2025 09:19
Subject: Why do parents RSVP with more than the invited child?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Clearly speaks to the "hospitability" of North American culture.
In Asia, LATAM, or South Africa – the whole family would be invited.
Then again, part of this madness is because the insecure, penny-pinching middle class insists on Instagram-ready, high production value, pay-per-person parties.
No more cake, clown, confetti and streamers at home. Speaks to American values. And "culture".
“When in Rome…”
When you are in Asia or LatAm or elsewhere, bring your whole family. That is not the cultural tradition here and it is rude to do so unless specifically invited to.
So are you basically agreeing that yes, North Americans are penny-pinching, less community-oriented, and suckers for RSVP lists? If so, great culture...
Just chiming in to say that in cultures where you bring the whole family, the host's extended family is probably helping to pull off these bigger parties. I love going to a birthday party where all the aunties cook! But for many families (like mine), the parents are doing everything alone. A lot of people can't pull off a big huge party for every birthday.
My SIL wont even attend a family party for her nephews and I was told here that that is just fine and she has no obligation to get to know them whatsoever. Can you imagine if I enlisted her into helping to COOK as well? But that's exactly what I've seen at the Mexican parties --everyone female has to help.
Anonymous
08/06/2025 21:36
Subject: Why do parents RSVP with more than the invited child?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Clearly speaks to the "hospitability" of North American culture.
In Asia, LATAM, or South Africa – the whole family would be invited.
Then again, part of this madness is because the insecure, penny-pinching middle class insists on Instagram-ready, high production value, pay-per-person parties.
No more cake, clown, confetti and streamers at home. Speaks to American values. And "culture".
“When in Rome…”
When you are in Asia or LatAm or elsewhere, bring your whole family. That is not the cultural tradition here and it is rude to do so unless specifically invited to.
So are you basically agreeing that yes, North Americans are penny-pinching, less community-oriented, and suckers for RSVP lists? If so, great culture...
Just chiming in to say that in cultures where you bring the whole family, the host's extended family is probably helping to pull off these bigger parties. I love going to a birthday party where all the aunties cook! But for many families (like mine), the parents are doing everything alone. A lot of people can't pull off a big huge party for every birthday.
Anonymous
08/06/2025 18:42
Subject: Why do parents RSVP with more than the invited child?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I complained about this to a friend about a mutual acquaintance and she said the wife doesn't trust the husband to take care of the baby, but also she can't handle all the kids herself when SHE has the baby, so the entire family goes everywhere together. To me this is insane and proof you had too many kids.
This makes absolutely no sense. If husband can't take care of the baby (which may be reasonable if the baby is still breastfeeding and the mom doesn't want to or can't pump), why wouldn't the husband take kid(s) to the birthday party and Mom stay home with baby?
I agree it makes no sense but this is what I was told. The couple in question is under the age of 25 and has 4 children. One is friends with my son so I have to deal with them and they ALL always show up.
Well that explains some of their issues.
Anonymous
08/06/2025 18:30
Subject: Why do parents RSVP with more than the invited child?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I complained about this to a friend about a mutual acquaintance and she said the wife doesn't trust the husband to take care of the baby, but also she can't handle all the kids herself when SHE has the baby, so the entire family goes everywhere together. To me this is insane and proof you had too many kids.
This makes absolutely no sense. If husband can't take care of the baby (which may be reasonable if the baby is still breastfeeding and the mom doesn't want to or can't pump), why wouldn't the husband take kid(s) to the birthday party and Mom stay home with baby?
I agree it makes no sense but this is what I was told. The couple in question is under the age of 25 and has 4 children. One is friends with my son so I have to deal with them and they ALL always show up.
Anonymous
08/06/2025 17:57
Subject: Why do parents RSVP with more than the invited child?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Can we just agree that some people are more hospitable, and others are less hospitable? Done. End of endless argument.
It’s not as simple as whether someone is hospitable or not. Sometimes people simply want a kids birthday party to be about the kids. Not everything needs to be a huge family affair or filled with multiple ages of kids.
Everyone speaks of respecting different cultures yet when people point out that in much of American culture, kid birthday parties are drop off parties for kids, that is seen as people being rude, cheap, unwelcoming, inhospitable.
OMG, so true!!! We are expected to be tolerant of everyone and take their abuse when they call us rude. A drop off party for a child is OUR culture - its not rude.
Anonymous
08/06/2025 17:54
Subject: Why do parents RSVP with more than the invited child?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why do parents have parties for very young kids and not have a “siblings welcome” policy?
Do you expect the 3 year old little brother to understand why he is not invited? Or expect parents to get a babysitter for the child/children who were not invited?
Why would they get a sitter? If it is a drop off party, the parents (and siblings) leave. If it is the kind of party where parents stay, siblings are welcome.
Exactly!! Go do your grocery shopping with the other kid - that's what I do.
Anonymous
08/06/2025 17:51
Subject: Re:Why do parents RSVP with more than the invited child?
Anonymous wrote:OP, what are the parties like when the "party crashing" family hosts? Do they invite entire families?
In my experience they don't ever host. Or they go all out in their family culture style. I once went to "drop off" my daughter at a party and there were 200+ people for a 6 year old party. I'd never seen anything like it. The girl had all her family, their friends, and all the kids' friends. I ended up not leaving because it was clear that was not the expectation. It was a great party but not what I expected.
Anonymous
08/06/2025 17:39
Subject: Why do parents RSVP with more than the invited child?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Clearly speaks to the "hospitability" of North American culture.
In Asia, LATAM, or South Africa – the whole family would be invited.
Then again, part of this madness is because the insecure, penny-pinching middle class insists on Instagram-ready, high production value, pay-per-person parties.
No more cake, clown, confetti and streamers at home. Speaks to American values. And "culture".
“When in Rome…”
When you are in Asia or LatAm or elsewhere, bring your whole family. That is not the cultural tradition here and it is rude to do so unless specifically invited to.
So are you basically agreeing that yes, North Americans are penny-pinching, less community-oriented, and suckers for RSVP lists? If so, great culture...
Why did you choose to move here and stay here if this culture is so terrible?
Why would you want to surround yourself with such execrable people as North Americans?
We all know why.
Why? Could you kindly clarify?
DP
Clearly they live here because we are a better country with better opportunities than they had in their disaster homeland. Now they want to change the culture so we can be a disaster too.
Anonymous
08/06/2025 17:38
Subject: Why do parents RSVP with more than the invited child?
Herr.Anonymous wrote:Slightly adjacent to the topic, but I have a question: if you are living in Asia, LATAM, or South Africa, and your kid was invited to a kid's birthday party, would it be improper to drop them off and pick them up (let's assume they know how to be a proper and polite guest)?
Guess I'm asking if the reverse would be rude.
Probably. The hosts might think "we are not baby sitters". So yes, it's important to understand the culture you are living in.
Anonymous
08/06/2025 17:34
Subject: Why do parents RSVP with more than the invited child?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Clearly speaks to the "hospitability" of North American culture.
In Asia, LATAM, or South Africa – the whole family would be invited.
Then again, part of this madness is because the insecure, penny-pinching middle class insists on Instagram-ready, high production value, pay-per-person parties.
No more cake, clown, confetti and streamers at home. Speaks to American values. And "culture".
“When in Rome…”
When you are in Asia or LatAm or elsewhere, bring your whole family. That is not the cultural tradition here and it is rude to do so unless specifically invited to.
So are you basically agreeing that yes, North Americans are penny-pinching, less community-oriented, and suckers for RSVP lists? If so, great culture...
DP
It's our culture and obviously we are ok with it. We are not ok with you coming to our home and telling us we're wrong or you don't like it. Leave!!! We don't want you here - go somewhere that makes you happy - clearly not here.
Anonymous
08/06/2025 17:30
Subject: Why do parents RSVP with more than the invited child?
Anonymous wrote:Clearly speaks to the "hospitability" of North American culture.
In Asia, LATAM, or South Africa – the whole family would be invited.
Then again, part of this madness is because the insecure, penny-pinching middle class insists on Instagram-ready, high production value, pay-per-person parties.
No more cake, clown, confetti and streamers at home. Speaks to American values. And "culture".
Go home and have your parties there instead of insulting your host country's culture. So strange that you want to be there and then change it to be like the place you left. Just go...we like our culture the way it is - Penny pinching parties and all
Anonymous
08/06/2025 17:22
Subject: Why do parents RSVP with more than the invited child?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Clearly speaks to the "hospitability" of North American culture.
In Asia, LATAM, or South Africa – the whole family would be invited.
Then again, part of this madness is because the insecure, penny-pinching middle class insists on Instagram-ready, high production value, pay-per-person parties.
No more cake, clown, confetti and streamers at home. Speaks to American values. And "culture".
Then you should only go to parties in Asia, Latin America or South Africa . Our values do not include party crashers, entitled and cheap people
Could be rewritten to "our values do not include welcoming anyone we consider 'other'".
when in rome, follow the customs in rome and take the one kid to the party and leave the rest of the clan at home.