Anonymous
Post 07/10/2025 11:15     Subject: Re:If you had an affair that lasted longer than a year, tell me about it
Anonymous wrote:
Shockingly sometimes people genuinely care about their affair partners.


I do not think caring about your AP is shocking. My question is more about a DW (or DH) who is having an affair feels about their spouse potentially doing the same. I have seen it where a DW is jealous of her DH's attention toward other women even when she is having an affair.

If women were getting the attention they craved at home, they wouldn’t have stepped out in the first place. That’s easy to understand. But I’m sure men feel the same way. It’s tragic how we let our relationships atrophy.
Anonymous
Post 07/10/2025 10:14     Subject: If you had an affair that lasted longer than a year, tell me about it
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I had about 15 affairs and the longest was just short of a year. By their nature, they don't last very long.


Yes, by what typically is a woman’s desire for more connection, time and plans for a future.
That's true for sure in some cases. In others, she feels guilty and wants to work on her marriage. Others just find someone who works better logistically for her. There are many reasons but these are not long-term relationships.


How many ended by you ghosting?


That is an interesting question. Perhaps, followed due to her lack of commitment while we were together. She was never sure.
Anonymous
Post 07/09/2025 16:46     Subject: If you had an affair that lasted longer than a year, tell me about it
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have seen a number of affairs, mostly long term. The commonality is that the people engaging in them are very selfish people. Like a 100% hit rate.


The women all love posting on Insta, exercise routines, selfies, etc. it is a certain narc type. And if they do charity—it’s all designed to make them look benevolent when they have a rotten, black core and don’t care about hurting others. False empathy- they don’t feel it and no guilt. Broken people.


Describes my serial cheating ex-wife. Loved to portray herself as happy homemaker, selfless, when she was anything but. Looked like your typical mom She created every opportunity to be alone without the kids and me to go out banging.
Anonymous
Post 07/09/2025 15:00     Subject: If you had an affair that lasted longer than a year, tell me about it
Anonymous wrote:I have seen a number of affairs, mostly long term. The commonality is that the people engaging in them are very selfish people. Like a 100% hit rate.


The women all love posting on Insta, exercise routines, selfies, etc. it is a certain narc type. And if they do charity—it’s all designed to make them look benevolent when they have a rotten, black core and don’t care about hurting others. False empathy- they don’t feel it and no guilt. Broken people.
Anonymous
Post 07/09/2025 11:11     Subject: If you had an affair that lasted longer than a year, tell me about it
I have seen a number of affairs, mostly long term. The commonality is that the people engaging in them are very selfish people. Like a 100% hit rate.
Anonymous
Post 07/09/2025 10:58     Subject: If you had an affair that lasted longer than a year, tell me about it
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don’t think I would care as long as it’s private, safe and makes spouse happier. Maybe I’ve been married too long but it’s just unrealistic to expect one person to meet your emotional/ physical needs forever. That being said a serial cheater isn’t good but if they had a real connection with someone I would understand that.


I would too but it would make me feel very sad.


Let’s see if you find out if you still feel that way….

You have no idea the pain unless you have experienced it firsthand. No idea.

It’s like the concept of being a parent without actually having any children.
Anonymous
Post 07/09/2025 10:47     Subject: If you had an affair that lasted longer than a year, tell me about it
Anonymous wrote:I don’t think I would care as long as it’s private, safe and makes spouse happier. Maybe I’ve been married too long but it’s just unrealistic to expect one person to meet your emotional/ physical needs forever. That being said a serial cheater isn’t good but if they had a real connection with someone I would understand that.


I would too but it would make me feel very sad.
Anonymous
Post 07/09/2025 10:45     Subject: If you had an affair that lasted longer than a year, tell me about it
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I had about 15 affairs and the longest was just short of a year. By their nature, they don't last very long.


Yes, by what typically is a woman’s desire for more connection, time and plans for a future.
That's true for sure in some cases. In others, she feels guilty and wants to work on her marriage. Others just find someone who works better logistically for her. There are many reasons but these are not long-term relationships.


Willing to blow up marriages, ruin kids, and scar spouses all to just test drive a new person that ultimately means nothing to them.
Anonymous
Post 07/09/2025 10:42     Subject: Re:If you had an affair that lasted longer than a year, tell me about it
Anonymous wrote:
Shockingly sometimes people genuinely care about their affair partners.


I do not think caring about your AP is shocking. My question is more about a DW (or DH) who is having an affair feels about their spouse potentially doing the same. I have seen it where a DW is jealous of her DH's attention toward other women even when she is having an affair.


She’s jealous of the AP with any women and will get batsh@t crazy and go through his phone to see if he’s seeing other women….but somehow not care he’s banging his wife, sleeping in the sane bed.

They are a real piece of work.
Anonymous
Post 07/09/2025 10:30     Subject: If you had an affair that lasted longer than a year, tell me about it
I don’t think I would care as long as it’s private, safe and makes spouse happier. Maybe I’ve been married too long but it’s just unrealistic to expect one person to meet your emotional/ physical needs forever. That being said a serial cheater isn’t good but if they had a real connection with someone I would understand that.
Anonymous
Post 07/09/2025 09:38     Subject: Re:If you had an affair that lasted longer than a year, tell me about it
Shockingly sometimes people genuinely care about their affair partners.


I do not think caring about your AP is shocking. My question is more about a DW (or DH) who is having an affair feels about their spouse potentially doing the same. I have seen it where a DW is jealous of her DH's attention toward other women even when she is having an affair.
Anonymous
Post 07/09/2025 03:34     Subject: If you had an affair that lasted longer than a year, tell me about it
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have not had an affair nor has my husband, but I'm a little fascinated by he super long term affairs. A year doesn't seem THAT long. WhenI was headed to college my BFFs father was outed (FAFSA?) As having an entirely separate family of the same makeup. 3 daughters with wife one and 3 with mistress, all the same age. The mistress lived in a house that was nearly identical down to the furniture of the wife's home. UMC vs more MC area but otherwise pretty much the same. I'd love to know the psychology behind that kind of setup, it makes NO sense to me why that would be desirable or how it was hidden so long.

I knew of a situation like this while I was growing up. Ironically the wife had all daughters and the mistress had all sons, so the family business was passed on to other relatives children who were born in wedlock.


Could someone explain how this works logistically? Like at least one of them has to know the whole story. Otherwise, how do you explain being away so much?


I'd also like to know. If only so I can duplicate it. I'd love to have a double life.


You just bang them in the middle of the work day when their husbands are at work and you are supposed to be there too. Or bang a co-worker.

No missing dinners, evenings or weekends. They are hard to get discovered since no time is missing on the home front.


You didn't read the older post. This was about having a whole second family, not banging a fellow married or a coworker. Multi year affair that produces multiple kids.


That sounds absolutely miserable. Two spouses, two sets of kids….one set is enough. Imagine raising two families. Sounds very costly too.


That was the resounding sentiment. Non cheaters can kind of "get it " from a new and exciting thing but a 20+ year 3 kids and a house thing is super expansive and not hot?


Shockingly sometimes people genuinely care about their affair partners.
Anonymous
Post 07/09/2025 02:50     Subject: If you had an affair that lasted longer than a year, tell me about it
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have not had an affair nor has my husband, but I'm a little fascinated by he super long term affairs. A year doesn't seem THAT long. WhenI was headed to college my BFFs father was outed (FAFSA?) As having an entirely separate family of the same makeup. 3 daughters with wife one and 3 with mistress, all the same age. The mistress lived in a house that was nearly identical down to the furniture of the wife's home. UMC vs more MC area but otherwise pretty much the same. I'd love to know the psychology behind that kind of setup, it makes NO sense to me why that would be desirable or how it was hidden so long.

I knew of a situation like this while I was growing up. Ironically the wife had all daughters and the mistress had all sons, so the family business was passed on to other relatives children who were born in wedlock.


Could someone explain how this works logistically? Like at least one of them has to know the whole story. Otherwise, how do you explain being away so much?


I'd also like to know. If only so I can duplicate it. I'd love to have a double life.


You just bang them in the middle of the work day when their husbands are at work and you are supposed to be there too. Or bang a co-worker.

No missing dinners, evenings or weekends. They are hard to get discovered since no time is missing on the home front.


You didn't read the older post. This was about having a whole second family, not banging a fellow married or a coworker. Multi year affair that produces multiple kids.


That sounds absolutely miserable. Two spouses, two sets of kids….one set is enough. Imagine raising two families. Sounds very costly too.


That was the resounding sentiment. Non cheaters can kind of "get it " from a new and exciting thing but a 20+ year 3 kids and a house thing is super expansive and not hot?
Anonymous
Post 07/09/2025 02:33     Subject: Re:If you had an affair that lasted longer than a year, tell me about it
Anonymous wrote:I had an affair that lasted over 8 years. Support, sex, excitement. Ahh.


What happened?
Anonymous
Post 07/09/2025 01:51     Subject: If you had an affair that lasted longer than a year, tell me about it
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I had about 15 affairs and the longest was just short of a year. By their nature, they don't last very long.


Yes, by what typically is a woman’s desire for more connection, time and plans for a future.
That's true for sure in some cases. In others, she feels guilty and wants to work on her marriage. Others just find someone who works better logistically for her. There are many reasons but these are not long-term relationships.


How many ended by you ghosting?