Talk to your kids, cancel any plans with this family, talk to the pediatrician, and follow whatever steps they advise. I wouldn’t talk to the other kid’s parents now - just cancel everything with no explanation and deal with that part later. But keep your kids away from that family.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:p.s. striking somebody in the testicles is not ok and the motive is irrelevant

No, but it’s not sexual assault and it’s not a crime with an 11 year old. Context is very important before you ruin an 11 year olds life. I haven’t read all the pages here maybe OP has shared more detail.

You know it says a lot about you and you're worried more about the person who was punching people in the genitals rather than the person who was the victim. We really do have to teach boys not to be rapists and this starts with giving them consequences for inappropriate behavior

Anonymous wrote:p.s. striking somebody in the testicles is not ok and the motive is irrelevant

No, but it’s not sexual assault and it’s not a crime with an 11 year old. Context is very important before you ruin an 11 year olds life. I haven’t read all the pages here maybe OP has shared more detail.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:p.s. striking somebody in the testicles is not ok and the motive is irrelevant

No one said its OK. But it's a parental disciplinary issue, not a CPS issue. Isn't that obvious?

It is WILD to me how many people would rather call the police than have a potentially uncomfortable conversation about parenting.

OP, I have had occasion to talk to a few parents about their misbehaving kids. It's fine. It's what it means to have a village. Remember that? It takes a village? All that pining for the days of having community support, someone to watch your six? This is what that looks like in real life. It's not always roses and dropped-off casseroles. Sometimes it's saying "your kid is being a jerk, kindly fix that." It's also hearing that your kid is being a jerk, and then fixing it instead of lashing out at the messenger.

Seems like a lot of DCUMs have totally rejected this model, and prefer to have jackbooted thugs involved. Please don't be one of them.

Agree with this here. And agree with other PPs who said that this could be a discipline issue. If it isn’t, one thing to remember is that it’s possible that the boy’s behavior is not due to him being abused but due to porn. Anyways here’s what I would do:

(1) talk to your kids and try to understand what happened, it’s extent, whether it has happened before, to your sons or to others etc.
(2) calmly tell the kids parents what happened and tell them as a result you do not feel comfortable driving their son or have him come to your house etc.
(3) caveat to above is to talk to your child’s pediatrician as well and ask them for advice

This isn’t to assuage any sense of urgency, but as a kid between the ages of 8-12 I certainly acted inappropriately in a variety of contexts, including with younger kids. It took me years to acknowledge and understand this was a response to my own sexual abuse. Just something to keep in mind.

Every time k see someone do a “nut punch” on a tv show I am amazed that some males think this is a normal part of male life. I’m not saying all males but there definitely does seem to be a subset. I don’t know. I don’t get it. But it does seem to be a thing that is not intended or experienced as sexual abuse by at least some men. I don’t know if that’s gojng on here or not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Call CPS or the police.

Oh FFS, boys grab each other's balls to squeeze them as a sign of dominance to overpower another all the time. It's shown quite often in movies and kids emulate that.
No reason to get police involved, just teach the kid how to protect and defend himself.

Hell no

I raised six boys none did this not one.

The boys will be boys is crap and wrong.

Did my boys fight yes physically yes touching genitalia no.


This is why Churches thrive ugh

They did, you just didn't know about it. Same as most things, kids don't tell their parents. Parents think their kids are the exception and perfect. Coping mechanisms.

This happened to me as a child from my mother’s best friend’s son whom she babysat frequently. I told and once my Mom caught us and I was called a liar and blamed as being fast and wanting it. It damaged me in different ways and painted the landscape for my future relationships. The main reason is h to e child was not admonished and was still allowed to be near me. I had extreme anxiety and meltdowns following that. The mother of that offender got him a girlfriend to have relations with and thought that fixed the problem. You know better so do better. End that child being near your kid and educate the parents so they can eradicate the behavior, get that child help and get help for your son to process what happened and how to advocate against future offenses. I am so sorry you had to go through this. I am over protective of my daughter’s to the point where I find myself ridiculous sometimes but at least they are safe.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Call CPS or the police.

Oh FFS, boys grab each other's balls to squeeze them as a sign of dominance to overpower another all the time. It's shown quite often in movies and kids emulate that.
No reason to get police involved, just teach the kid how to protect and defend himself.

Hell no

I raised six boys none did this not one.

The boys will be boys is crap and wrong.

Did my boys fight yes physically yes touching genitalia no.


This is why Churches thrive ugh

Hah? What a bizarre thing to say.

Churches and bible camp and youth church organizations number one place for pedos to do their work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Call CPS or the police.

Oh FFS, boys grab each other's balls to squeeze them as a sign of dominance to overpower another all the time. It's shown quite often in movies and kids emulate that.
No reason to get police involved, just teach the kid how to protect and defend himself.

Hell no

I raised six boys none did this not one.

The boys will be boys is crap and wrong.

Did my boys fight yes physically yes touching genitalia no.


This is why Churches thrive ugh

Hah? What a bizarre thing to say.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Call CPS or the police.

Oh FFS, boys grab each other's balls to squeeze them as a sign of dominance to overpower another all the time. It's shown quite often in movies and kids emulate that.
No reason to get police involved, just teach the kid how to protect and defend himself.

Hell no

I raised six boys none did this not one.

The boys will be boys is crap and wrong.

Did my boys fight yes physically yes touching genitalia no.


This is why Churches thrive ugh

Why didn’t you address this immediately?

At the pool!!
You don’t wait what’s wrong with you. ?

Anonymous wrote:I know my child was assaulted. I want to confront the kid. Is that appropriate or do I confront the parents?

Unless you saw this directly you say nothing

You end the friendship now before you drive tomorrow . No more car pooling or playing together. You protect your kid period. The other family will never do a thing to their kid.

You talk with your child about appropriate touching and not

Update?

OP, any update?

These responses vary wildly!

On the roughhousing - I get it because my girls (similar ages, 10 and 9) used to roughhouse by grabbing each others crotches. They would do it for shock value and they would laugh. But I would always tell them private parts are off limits and they’ve basically outgrown it now. I’d be absolutely horrified if they did they did it to anyone else.

Roughhousing with your friends little brother seems different. There’s a power dynamic there plus a lack of familiarity versus siblings. Also the fact that it was done in a hidden place away from parents suggests to me that maybe the older kid knew it was wrong. Just food for thought.