Anonymous
06/09/2025 21:52
Subject: Re:Spin off - Kids ringing doorbell in neighborhood/free roaming kids. What are your rules?
We live in a neighborhood like this and it’s mostly wonderful. Sometimes it gets old. Sometimes kids ring the doorbell too early or too late, come tromping through the house w dirty shoes on, make messes/break or damage things (by accident, mostly but just bc kids often do mess stuff up), sometimes kids are rude and I don’t like to have to correct them or tell them house rules or be a school marm in my own home. My kids know our house rules but other kids usually don’t and it’s kind of annoying to have to go over rules w other kids who aren’t my own. Sometimes I want to just be in my own house/yard w my own kids not other people’s kids all the time. And it often messes up our family dinners or plans for a family outing. BUT my kids love it and I’m glad they have unstructured free play time w other kids.
Anonymous
06/09/2025 21:42
Subject: Spin off - Kids ringing doorbell in neighborhood/free roaming kids. What are your rules?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My 9 year old has a few different friend's houses he can walk to, and does so often, or they walk here. Sometimes I will text the parent to ask "are you free this afternoon" but more often the kids just initiate on their own. I'm very happy to have kids ring the doorbell. If it's not a good time I say "thanks for coming over, Larlo can't play right now" and they say OK and come back the next day.
We have 2 neighbors who I'm not super close with but they have similar age kids, and my son will often join in their outdoor play, but almost never approaches their home, just sees them if they are already outside.
After age 8 I think play dates should be child led when possible. The parents demanding an advance warning text are odd to me. Im thankful I dont have to be in the middle of my sons entire social life. Its good for kids to figure this stuff out.
Why is it odd to want communication if you are dumping your child on someone else. It’s odd to me you have your kids knock on others doors and demand to be let in. You should call, invite the kids over and supervise. You want free childcare. Sometimes if a parent is out with their kid to spend time with them, they don’t want to be babysitting yours.
Who is supervising a nine year old playing with friends?
This. How is it free childcare if the kids are entertaining eachother in the yard?? I actually love it because then I can relax
A lot of 9 year olds can entertain themselves/each other without needing supervision but some need more parental involvement. For example, we have a neighborhood kid who’s 9 who always seems to get hurt/hurt herself or get frustrated w a game or not like something the other kids are doing…she always winds up being upset about something and since I’m often the only parent paying attention, I wind up dealing with it. Every time. Her parents are total free range types and don’t seem to ever give any structure/discipline or even engagement whatsoever. So, yeah this arrangement is great for many kids and families but it does have downsides and is sometimes more difficult for the more involved parents than the free range parents realize.
Anonymous
06/09/2025 21:40
Subject: Spin off - Kids ringing doorbell in neighborhood/free roaming kids. What are your rules?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My 9 year old has a few different friend's houses he can walk to, and does so often, or they walk here. Sometimes I will text the parent to ask "are you free this afternoon" but more often the kids just initiate on their own. I'm very happy to have kids ring the doorbell. If it's not a good time I say "thanks for coming over, Larlo can't play right now" and they say OK and come back the next day.
We have 2 neighbors who I'm not super close with but they have similar age kids, and my son will often join in their outdoor play, but almost never approaches their home, just sees them if they are already outside.
After age 8 I think play dates should be child led when possible. The parents demanding an advance warning text are odd to me. Im thankful I dont have to be in the middle of my sons entire social life. Its good for kids to figure this stuff out.
Why is it odd to want communication if you are dumping your child on someone else. It’s odd to me you have your kids knock on others doors and demand to be let in. You should call, invite the kids over and supervise. You want free childcare. Sometimes if a parent is out with their kid to spend time with them, they don’t want to be babysitting yours.
Who is supervising a nine year old playing with friends?
Right! There's no childcare involved. The kids are playing together not with me. I would expect the same at your house- my kid isn't there to be minded by a grown up he is there to play with a friend.
Anonymous
06/09/2025 21:30
Subject: Spin off - Kids ringing doorbell in neighborhood/free roaming kids. What are your rules?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My 9 year old has a few different friend's houses he can walk to, and does so often, or they walk here. Sometimes I will text the parent to ask "are you free this afternoon" but more often the kids just initiate on their own. I'm very happy to have kids ring the doorbell. If it's not a good time I say "thanks for coming over, Larlo can't play right now" and they say OK and come back the next day.
We have 2 neighbors who I'm not super close with but they have similar age kids, and my son will often join in their outdoor play, but almost never approaches their home, just sees them if they are already outside.
After age 8 I think play dates should be child led when possible. The parents demanding an advance warning text are odd to me. Im thankful I dont have to be in the middle of my sons entire social life. Its good for kids to figure this stuff out.
Why is it odd to want communication if you are dumping your child on someone else. It’s odd to me you have your kids knock on others doors and demand to be let in. You should call, invite the kids over and supervise. You want free childcare. Sometimes if a parent is out with their kid to spend time with them, they don’t want to be babysitting yours.
No one is demanding anything. If my son knocked on your door you could kindly say "now is not a good time for us" and he would say "ok" and would leave.
I don't need free childcare. The kids usually end up at my house tbh and I don't mind at all. When I have somewhere to be or something else to do I tell the child to head home.
At this age I prefer my child to initiate and follow through on their own plans, and also to learn that sometimes you knock and the answer is no and that's fine.
The only play dates I get involved with are ones that require transportation, like Im taking a group of kids bowling or something like that and need to plan the date and time and logistics in more details. Otherwise if they want to play they can find a friend and make it happen.
Anonymous
06/09/2025 21:19
Subject: Spin off - Kids ringing doorbell in neighborhood/free roaming kids. What are your rules?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So you say no to the drop ins, send kids back to their own house for lunch/dinner, tell your kid each family has different ways of doing things. This really isn’t so hard.
I do feel bad for the child with autism who is already being isolated by other families.
This stood out to me too. Yikes. Poor kid/family.
+100 the kid is also in … PRESCHOOL. Those behaviors are normal for preschoolers who don’t have a social disability.
Our neighborhood is exactly the same. Some parents prioritize order and control and others like the care-free socializing and don’t mind chaos. And the families set their own rules accordingly.
DP. I think a kid is allowed to decide he doesn't want to hang out with a kid who hits and exposes himself, even if those behaviors are not uncommon in preschoolers.
Reading Comprehension. The op is quite clear that her kid is NOT ALLOWED to play with him. Most older kids aren’t bothered by naked little kids. I actually find it weird that it bothers her so much.
You're the one who needs to work on your reading comprehension.
OP: my son has complained to me about a little boy in the neighborhood who pulls his pants down and shows his genitals or hits other kids. My son is no longer allowed to play with him, nor does he want to, due to the hitting.
I've bolded the parts you missed in your rush to be sanctimonious.
You literally wrote “not allowed to” in your response. Most kids don’t want to play with autistic kids. The op (and you, apparently) would rather take these moments to reinforce exclusion and ick principles than take the opportunity to say “Larlo, he’s FOUR and has a disability. Let’s talk about why his disability might cause him to act this way. Ignore the behavior and be kind to him”
Doesn’t mean he has to be his best friend. But such justified unkindness will show itself eventually.
That has nothing to do with autism. Teach your kids to be kind.
Right. Teach your kids to be kind and gentle as they say, “no thank you, I don’t want to play with you but I appreciate the offer.”
This is a group of neighborhood kids that play together. It’s not like OP’s kid is playing one on one with an autistic preschooler.
I really don’t see how you can kindly walk up to a group of kids playing tag or whatever and say, “I won’t play if Larlo is playing. I don’t play with Larlo.”
Fair point. So in that specific scenario, I guess if Larlo is hitting the other kids or exposing himself while playing tag, I think the onus is on OP’s child to refrain from joining. Sucks for OP’s kid but I agree that there’s not a kind and gentle way to avoid Larlo in that situation except for OP’s kid to excuse himself. And Larlo should be free to play with kids who can tolerate his behavior.
Pp here. I think that what you are saying here sounds reasonable. Something like, “If Larlo starts hitting, then you are done playing for that afternoon.”
Instead of what OP was saying, which was, “Larlo is a hitter, so you can’t play with him anymore.”
DP. Does the fact that OP's kid doesn't want to play with the kid matter at all? For me, that's the real issue. If the kid's behavior is consistently bad enough that a kid doesn't want to play with them, I think it makes sense to support them in keeping themselves safe.
Pp here. No. I don’t think that matters. My kids have all had times that they don’t like one kid or another. It’s not okay to exclude someone from the group, and it’s not okay to ask the other kids to choose between playing with you and playing with the kid you don’t like.
Anonymous
06/09/2025 20:40
Subject: Spin off - Kids ringing doorbell in neighborhood/free roaming kids. What are your rules?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So you say no to the drop ins, send kids back to their own house for lunch/dinner, tell your kid each family has different ways of doing things. This really isn’t so hard.
I do feel bad for the child with autism who is already being isolated by other families.
This stood out to me too. Yikes. Poor kid/family.
+100 the kid is also in … PRESCHOOL. Those behaviors are normal for preschoolers who don’t have a social disability.
Our neighborhood is exactly the same. Some parents prioritize order and control and others like the care-free socializing and don’t mind chaos. And the families set their own rules accordingly.
DP. I think a kid is allowed to decide he doesn't want to hang out with a kid who hits and exposes himself, even if those behaviors are not uncommon in preschoolers.
Reading Comprehension. The op is quite clear that her kid is NOT ALLOWED to play with him. Most older kids aren’t bothered by naked little kids. I actually find it weird that it bothers her so much.
You're the one who needs to work on your reading comprehension.
OP: my son has complained to me about a little boy in the neighborhood who pulls his pants down and shows his genitals or hits other kids. My son is no longer allowed to play with him, nor does he want to, due to the hitting.
I've bolded the parts you missed in your rush to be sanctimonious.
You literally wrote “not allowed to” in your response. Most kids don’t want to play with autistic kids. The op (and you, apparently) would rather take these moments to reinforce exclusion and ick principles than take the opportunity to say “Larlo, he’s FOUR and has a disability. Let’s talk about why his disability might cause him to act this way. Ignore the behavior and be kind to him”
Doesn’t mean he has to be his best friend. But such justified unkindness will show itself eventually.
That has nothing to do with autism. Teach your kids to be kind.
Right. Teach your kids to be kind and gentle as they say, “no thank you, I don’t want to play with you but I appreciate the offer.”
This is a group of neighborhood kids that play together. It’s not like OP’s kid is playing one on one with an autistic preschooler.
I really don’t see how you can kindly walk up to a group of kids playing tag or whatever and say, “I won’t play if Larlo is playing. I don’t play with Larlo.”
Fair point. So in that specific scenario, I guess if Larlo is hitting the other kids or exposing himself while playing tag, I think the onus is on OP’s child to refrain from joining. Sucks for OP’s kid but I agree that there’s not a kind and gentle way to avoid Larlo in that situation except for OP’s kid to excuse himself. And Larlo should be free to play with kids who can tolerate his behavior.
Pp here. I think that what you are saying here sounds reasonable. Something like, “If Larlo starts hitting, then you are done playing for that afternoon.”
Instead of what OP was saying, which was, “Larlo is a hitter, so you can’t play with him anymore.”
DP. Does the fact that OP's kid doesn't want to play with the kid matter at all? For me, that's the real issue. If the kid's behavior is consistently bad enough that a kid doesn't want to play with them, I think it makes sense to support them in keeping themselves safe.
Anonymous
06/09/2025 20:36
Subject: Spin off - Kids ringing doorbell in neighborhood/free roaming kids. What are your rules?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So you say no to the drop ins, send kids back to their own house for lunch/dinner, tell your kid each family has different ways of doing things. This really isn’t so hard.
I do feel bad for the child with autism who is already being isolated by other families.
This stood out to me too. Yikes. Poor kid/family.
+100 the kid is also in … PRESCHOOL. Those behaviors are normal for preschoolers who don’t have a social disability.
Our neighborhood is exactly the same. Some parents prioritize order and control and others like the care-free socializing and don’t mind chaos. And the families set their own rules accordingly.
DP. I think a kid is allowed to decide he doesn't want to hang out with a kid who hits and exposes himself, even if those behaviors are not uncommon in preschoolers.
Reading Comprehension. The op is quite clear that her kid is NOT ALLOWED to play with him. Most older kids aren’t bothered by naked little kids. I actually find it weird that it bothers her so much.
You're the one who needs to work on your reading comprehension.
OP: my son has complained to me about a little boy in the neighborhood who pulls his pants down and shows his genitals or hits other kids. My son is no longer allowed to play with him, nor does he want to, due to the hitting.
I've bolded the parts you missed in your rush to be sanctimonious.
You literally wrote “not allowed to” in your response. Most kids don’t want to play with autistic kids. The op (and you, apparently) would rather take these moments to reinforce exclusion and ick principles than take the opportunity to say “Larlo, he’s FOUR and has a disability. Let’s talk about why his disability might cause him to act this way. Ignore the behavior and be kind to him”
Doesn’t mean he has to be his best friend. But such justified unkindness will show itself eventually.
That has nothing to do with autism. Teach your kids to be kind.
Right. Teach your kids to be kind and gentle as they say, “no thank you, I don’t want to play with you but I appreciate the offer.”
This is a group of neighborhood kids that play together. It’s not like OP’s kid is playing one on one with an autistic preschooler.
I really don’t see how you can kindly walk up to a group of kids playing tag or whatever and say, “I won’t play if Larlo is playing. I don’t play with Larlo.”
Fair point. So in that specific scenario, I guess if Larlo is hitting the other kids or exposing himself while playing tag, I think the onus is on OP’s child to refrain from joining. Sucks for OP’s kid but I agree that there’s not a kind and gentle way to avoid Larlo in that situation except for OP’s kid to excuse himself. And Larlo should be free to play with kids who can tolerate his behavior.
Pp here. I think that what you are saying here sounds reasonable. Something like, “If Larlo starts hitting, then you are done playing for that afternoon.”
Instead of what OP was saying, which was, “Larlo is a hitter, so you can’t play with him anymore.”
Anonymous
06/09/2025 20:04
Subject: Spin off - Kids ringing doorbell in neighborhood/free roaming kids. What are your rules?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:These neighborhoods sound like a zoo.
I agree. I think you have to be raised that way to get used to it. I wasn’t, and I didn’t want that when my kids were young. Not everyone enjoys that kind of atmosphere.
And we wonder why teenagers have so much social anxiety and adults can’t associate with others.
If your kid doesn’t enjoy it- that’s fine. But kids learn best by being kids. Free play, negotiation with others- whatever.
Are we actually at the point where everything has to be curated activities or chatGPT interactions?
Life is a zoo. Sooner or later, you have to deal with the fray. Politics and DCUM are filled with examples of people that never learned to interact well or productively with others. (Psst- for those who only think in terms of $ that can also mean $$)
I actually appreciate these posts as they really show why some people are different than others, and why I’m glad to not be them.
Anonymous
06/09/2025 19:48
Subject: Spin off - Kids ringing doorbell in neighborhood/free roaming kids. What are your rules?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So you say no to the drop ins, send kids back to their own house for lunch/dinner, tell your kid each family has different ways of doing things. This really isn’t so hard.
I do feel bad for the child with autism who is already being isolated by other families.
This stood out to me too. Yikes. Poor kid/family.
+100 the kid is also in … PRESCHOOL. Those behaviors are normal for preschoolers who don’t have a social disability.
Our neighborhood is exactly the same. Some parents prioritize order and control and others like the care-free socializing and don’t mind chaos. And the families set their own rules accordingly.
DP. I think a kid is allowed to decide he doesn't want to hang out with a kid who hits and exposes himself, even if those behaviors are not uncommon in preschoolers.
Reading Comprehension. The op is quite clear that her kid is NOT ALLOWED to play with him. Most older kids aren’t bothered by naked little kids. I actually find it weird that it bothers her so much.
You're the one who needs to work on your reading comprehension.
OP: my son has complained to me about a little boy in the neighborhood who pulls his pants down and shows his genitals or hits other kids. My son is no longer allowed to play with him, nor does he want to, due to the hitting.
I've bolded the parts you missed in your rush to be sanctimonious.
You literally wrote “not allowed to” in your response. Most kids don’t want to play with autistic kids. The op (and you, apparently) would rather take these moments to reinforce exclusion and ick principles than take the opportunity to say “Larlo, he’s FOUR and has a disability. Let’s talk about why his disability might cause him to act this way. Ignore the behavior and be kind to him”
Doesn’t mean he has to be his best friend. But such justified unkindness will show itself eventually.
That has nothing to do with autism. Teach your kids to be kind.
Right. Teach your kids to be kind and gentle as they say, “no thank you, I don’t want to play with you but I appreciate the offer.”
This is a group of neighborhood kids that play together. It’s not like OP’s kid is playing one on one with an autistic preschooler.
I really don’t see how you can kindly walk up to a group of kids playing tag or whatever and say, “I won’t play if Larlo is playing. I don’t play with Larlo.”
Fair point. So in that specific scenario, I guess if Larlo is hitting the other kids or exposing himself while playing tag, I think the onus is on OP’s child to refrain from joining. Sucks for OP’s kid but I agree that there’s not a kind and gentle way to avoid Larlo in that situation except for OP’s kid to excuse himself. And Larlo should be free to play with kids who can tolerate his behavior.
Anonymous
06/09/2025 18:38
Subject: Spin off - Kids ringing doorbell in neighborhood/free roaming kids. What are your rules?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So you say no to the drop ins, send kids back to their own house for lunch/dinner, tell your kid each family has different ways of doing things. This really isn’t so hard.
I do feel bad for the child with autism who is already being isolated by other families.
This stood out to me too. Yikes. Poor kid/family.
+100 the kid is also in … PRESCHOOL. Those behaviors are normal for preschoolers who don’t have a social disability.
Our neighborhood is exactly the same. Some parents prioritize order and control and others like the care-free socializing and don’t mind chaos. And the families set their own rules accordingly.
DP. I think a kid is allowed to decide he doesn't want to hang out with a kid who hits and exposes himself, even if those behaviors are not uncommon in preschoolers.
Reading Comprehension. The op is quite clear that her kid is NOT ALLOWED to play with him. Most older kids aren’t bothered by naked little kids. I actually find it weird that it bothers her so much.
You're the one who needs to work on your reading comprehension.
OP: my son has complained to me about a little boy in the neighborhood who pulls his pants down and shows his genitals or hits other kids. My son is no longer allowed to play with him, nor does he want to, due to the hitting.
I've bolded the parts you missed in your rush to be sanctimonious.
You literally wrote “not allowed to” in your response. Most kids don’t want to play with autistic kids. The op (and you, apparently) would rather take these moments to reinforce exclusion and ick principles than take the opportunity to say “Larlo, he’s FOUR and has a disability. Let’s talk about why his disability might cause him to act this way. Ignore the behavior and be kind to him”
Doesn’t mean he has to be his best friend. But such justified unkindness will show itself eventually.
That has nothing to do with autism. Teach your kids to be kind.
Right. Teach your kids to be kind and gentle as they say, “no thank you, I don’t want to play with you but I appreciate the offer.”
This is a group of neighborhood kids that play together. It’s not like OP’s kid is playing one on one with an autistic preschooler.
I really don’t see how you can kindly walk up to a group of kids playing tag or whatever and say, “I won’t play if Larlo is playing. I don’t play with Larlo.”
Anonymous
06/09/2025 18:25
Subject: Spin off - Kids ringing doorbell in neighborhood/free roaming kids. What are your rules?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So you say no to the drop ins, send kids back to their own house for lunch/dinner, tell your kid each family has different ways of doing things. This really isn’t so hard.
I do feel bad for the child with autism who is already being isolated by other families.
This stood out to me too. Yikes. Poor kid/family.
+100 the kid is also in … PRESCHOOL. Those behaviors are normal for preschoolers who don’t have a social disability.
Our neighborhood is exactly the same. Some parents prioritize order and control and others like the care-free socializing and don’t mind chaos. And the families set their own rules accordingly.
DP. I think a kid is allowed to decide he doesn't want to hang out with a kid who hits and exposes himself, even if those behaviors are not uncommon in preschoolers.
Reading Comprehension. The op is quite clear that her kid is NOT ALLOWED to play with him. Most older kids aren’t bothered by naked little kids. I actually find it weird that it bothers her so much.
You're the one who needs to work on your reading comprehension.
OP: my son has complained to me about a little boy in the neighborhood who pulls his pants down and shows his genitals or hits other kids. My son is no longer allowed to play with him, nor does he want to, due to the hitting.
I've bolded the parts you missed in your rush to be sanctimonious.
You literally wrote “not allowed to” in your response. Most kids don’t want to play with autistic kids. The op (and you, apparently) would rather take these moments to reinforce exclusion and ick principles than take the opportunity to say “Larlo, he’s FOUR and has a disability. Let’s talk about why his disability might cause him to act this way. Ignore the behavior and be kind to him”
Doesn’t mean he has to be his best friend. But such justified unkindness will show itself eventually.
That has nothing to do with autism. Teach your kids to be kind.
Right. Teach your kids to be kind and gentle as they say, “no thank you, I don’t want to play with you but I appreciate the offer.”
Anonymous
06/09/2025 18:23
Subject: Spin off - Kids ringing doorbell in neighborhood/free roaming kids. What are your rules?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So you say no to the drop ins, send kids back to their own house for lunch/dinner, tell your kid each family has different ways of doing things. This really isn’t so hard.
I do feel bad for the child with autism who is already being isolated by other families.
This stood out to me too. Yikes. Poor kid/family.
+100 the kid is also in … PRESCHOOL. Those behaviors are normal for preschoolers who don’t have a social disability.
Our neighborhood is exactly the same. Some parents prioritize order and control and others like the care-free socializing and don’t mind chaos. And the families set their own rules accordingly.
DP. I think a kid is allowed to decide he doesn't want to hang out with a kid who hits and exposes himself, even if those behaviors are not uncommon in preschoolers.
Reading Comprehension. The op is quite clear that her kid is NOT ALLOWED to play with him. Most older kids aren’t bothered by naked little kids. I actually find it weird that it bothers her so much.
You're the one who needs to work on your reading comprehension.
OP: my son has complained to me about a little boy in the neighborhood who pulls his pants down and shows his genitals or hits other kids. My son is no longer allowed to play with him, nor does he want to, due to the hitting.
I've bolded the parts you missed in your rush to be sanctimonious.
You literally wrote “not allowed to” in your response. Most kids don’t want to play with autistic kids. The op (and you, apparently) would rather take these moments to reinforce exclusion and ick principles than take the opportunity to say “Larlo, he’s FOUR and has a disability. Let’s talk about why his disability might cause him to act this way. Ignore the behavior and be kind to him”
Doesn’t mean he has to be his best friend. But such justified unkindness will show itself eventually.
If you think that forcing your kid to play with someone with inappropriate sexual behaviors is a good idea you are free to do so. I don't force my kid to be friends with anyone. Hope your choice doesn't come back to bite you.
+1. My mother forced me to play with the weird kids. Maybe she was just trying to instill kindness in me, maybe she wanted to be a mommy martyr. Either way, I was exposed to some VERY inappropriate things.
My hot take is that if the parents know their child is exposing others / hitting others, they should be watching him 24-7. His “playtime” should be with an occupational therapist, not poor kids in the neighborhood.
Yes you should be kind to everyone, in the sense that you wave to him as you walk by and don’t make fun of him. But forcing your kid to play with that child? Hell no.
Anonymous
06/09/2025 17:07
Subject: Spin off - Kids ringing doorbell in neighborhood/free roaming kids. What are your rules?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My rules are you can play on sidewalks and in front yards but do not go into anyone's house or fenced back yard. Some people have questionable dogs and some parents I just don't trust. But I want my kids to get exercise and have unstructured play.
Some kids get very pushy asking for food and you have to learn to just say no. I wanted to have the hang-out house and now I'm realizing no, I don't want that because user parents will have no problem sending their kids over every day and even having you feed them lunch (and no, none of these people are poor.)
I find it strange adults who can afford to feed kids, will not. Give them a grilled cheese or something cheap.
Half of DCUM is terrified of being "taken advantage of" by having kids in their house or giving them food. It's weird.
Yes! We live in Silver Spring near "the poors." These folks would not hesitate to feed my child a snack. There is A LOT of weirdness around food/snacks in this area, and it is mostly a white people thing in my experience.
So I am one of the white people who has some food weirdness. I think a lot of white people were raised by almond moms and we didn't get snacks. Some of it was to keep us thin, some to be healthy and some so we didn't spoil our dinner. I feel weird feeding other kids snacks because my mom didn't like me getting snacks from others. And then there's allergies nonstop with everyone these days. My non white friends told me that they got a lot more snacks as kids.
My kids have an almond dad who is a health freak and he can't stand kids eating snacks. Sigh. I make sure to have boxes of ice pops on standby for all the kids. They're universally loved, cheap and store easily in the freezer.
Give the kids fruits and veggies. Not hard to give some celery and carrots.
Anonymous
06/09/2025 17:03
Subject: Spin off - Kids ringing doorbell in neighborhood/free roaming kids. What are your rules?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So you say no to the drop ins, send kids back to their own house for lunch/dinner, tell your kid each family has different ways of doing things. This really isn’t so hard.
I do feel bad for the child with autism who is already being isolated by other families.
This stood out to me too. Yikes. Poor kid/family.
+100 the kid is also in … PRESCHOOL. Those behaviors are normal for preschoolers who don’t have a social disability.
Our neighborhood is exactly the same. Some parents prioritize order and control and others like the care-free socializing and don’t mind chaos. And the families set their own rules accordingly.
DP. I think a kid is allowed to decide he doesn't want to hang out with a kid who hits and exposes himself, even if those behaviors are not uncommon in preschoolers.
Reading Comprehension. The op is quite clear that her kid is NOT ALLOWED to play with him. Most older kids aren’t bothered by naked little kids. I actually find it weird that it bothers her so much.
You're the one who needs to work on your reading comprehension.
OP: my son has complained to me about a little boy in the neighborhood who pulls his pants down and shows his genitals or hits other kids. My son is no longer allowed to play with him, nor does he want to, due to the hitting.
I've bolded the parts you missed in your rush to be sanctimonious.
You literally wrote “not allowed to” in your response. Most kids don’t want to play with autistic kids. The op (and you, apparently) would rather take these moments to reinforce exclusion and ick principles than take the opportunity to say “Larlo, he’s FOUR and has a disability. Let’s talk about why his disability might cause him to act this way. Ignore the behavior and be kind to him”
Doesn’t mean he has to be his best friend. But such justified unkindness will show itself eventually.
That has nothing to do with autism. Teach your kids to be kind.
Anonymous
06/09/2025 17:01
Subject: Spin off - Kids ringing doorbell in neighborhood/free roaming kids. What are your rules?
It totally depends on the kids, if I'm honest. We live in an amazing cul de sac with lots of kids and families we trust. Truthfully, I love when other kids come see if mine want to come out and play. But there is one family - one set of kids - I don't really like. Their parents have only recently let them go out unsupervised and they are constantly ringing our doorbell and acting like little s**ts when we aren't there (playing for the ring camera). They have been ringing our doorbell routinely at 7:15 am before school. I finally said something to the parents, and it seems to be helping with the doorbell, but I still routinely find them on our front porch, peering through our windows.