Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How exactly are you saving $ for retirement and down-payment on a home on that income? Even a townhouse in not such a great school district is half a million now.

If you can't save on a $250k salary and a $500k home, I don't know what to tell you.

It tells me that you are old and out of touch with reality or live in Oklahoma. Let's say that a dual income family with 2 small kids are saving for a home. Their HHI is $250k. After paying their taxes, healthcare cost (average of 23k contribution for a family of 4), and contribute some to the 401k, they come home with around 10k/month. They have to pay rent while saving for a house, right? So that's 3.5k average for a 2 bedroom apartment in DC area (kids are sharing a room). They also have to put the kids someplace while working, right? So that's another 3k at minimum, assuming one is in preschool. They also have to eat, pay for transportation to work, buy clothes and laundry detergent ($20 right there, and there's so much laundry with kids), pay for utilities, car repairs (assuming they drive old, paid cars).They probably have student loans, because you can't make 250k as a family and not go to college, and these don't seem like the people with parents who paid for college. They probably want to see their families for Christmas and Thanksgiving, have you checked the airplane prices recently?
So how exactly are they saving $100k cash? This is a family who doesn't take any vacations or saves $ for college for their kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A younger couple at $250k with two kids in day care is a heck of a lot different than a $250k couple with teens who have the advantage of savings and house appreciation. It is two completely different worlds.

Um, teens are much more expensive than little kids in daycare

Spoken like someone who hasn't paid for daycare in over a decade. How are you spending $3000 a month on your teen? I'll give you a few hundred of those dollars as extra food and clothing. Which is much more expensive for teens. But. What else?

Private school. $55k a year. Sports lessons $500 a month, Travel sports $300 a month, therapy, $1000 a month, trainer $600 a month, travel for sports $300 a month (average).

Anonymous wrote:I struggle a lot with these concepts. We put away a lot of money in 401Ks - the full amount.

We put away a lot in 529s - enough to have them accounts be 200K at high school graduation. Which is not as much as some, but more than others.

But mostly, we made the choice top put them in private high schools, luckily Catholic so not as expensive. But kid #1 cost us 100K. Kid 2 will be 140K. Full pay in cash.

If we didn't have that, I'd 100% feel upper middle class. But because all our extra mnoey goes to savings/schooling, our daily lives do not feel upper middle class. That's the dictinction.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How exactly are you saving $ for retirement and down-payment on a home on that income? Even a townhouse in not such a great school district is half a million now.

If you can't save on a $250k salary and a $500k home, I don't know what to tell you.

It tells me that you are old and out of touch with reality or live in Oklahoma. Let's say that a dual income family with 2 small kids are saving for a home. Their HHI is $250k. After paying their taxes, healthcare cost (average of 23k contribution for a family of 4), and contribute some to the 401k, they come home with around 10k/month. They have to pay rent while saving for a house, right? So that's 3.5k average for a 2 bedroom apartment in DC area (kids are sharing a room). They also have to put the kids someplace while working, right? So that's another 3k at minimum, assuming one is in preschool. They also have to eat, pay for transportation to work, buy clothes and laundry detergent ($20 right there, and there's so much laundry with kids), pay for utilities, car repairs (assuming they drive old, paid cars).They probably have student loans, because you can't make 250k as a family and not go to college, and these don't seem like the people with parents who paid for college. They probably want to see their families for Christmas and Thanksgiving, have you checked the airplane prices recently?
So how exactly are they saving $100k cash? This is a family who doesn't take any vacations or saves $ for college for their kids.

Not exactly… we make 250 and save alot with three kids. But we bought in an exurb for sub 500 (before pandemic) with 40% down at a low interest rate. We always had roommates when we were single. Obviously housing costs now are a big barrier for people. We managed to get one of the cheapest houses in a neighborhood with highly rated public schools.

We fully fund retirement and have a healthy emergency fund (six figs.). We need to ramp up college saving but will likely wait till youngest is in public elementary school (3 more years)

we have an au pair.
We travel 1-2 times a year, including abroad but stay at places like Hampton inn.
We have student loans.
Utility (bge) and grocery costs have doubled in about 5 years, unfortunately. We do less wegmans and more Aldi.
We drive older cars that we pay cash for.
Kids wear hand me downs including lots from cousins.
We shop at Marshall’s.

So Yes, it’s do-able on 250, even at current housing interest rates. In fact it’s actually a lot of money. But you won’t be saving if you eat out every night and dress your kids in matching Hannah whatever, feel pressure to buy the $1000 stroller/wagon and/or crib, pay thousands for travel sports, shop exclusively at Whole Paycheck, and rip out perfectly usable kitchens or bathrooms from the 80’s because the wood is ‘too yellow.’

There’s a little too much doomsaying on here. We feel very privileged. We know we make a lot of money and feel a strong the responsibility to not waste it. We know there are many people living on much less than us, and it’s an insult to them to claim we are middle class. We hire cleaners and lawn mowers and in general have a ridiculously comfortable life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A younger couple at $250k with two kids in day care is a heck of a lot different than a $250k couple with teens who have the advantage of savings and house appreciation. It is two completely different worlds.

Um, teens are much more expensive than little kids in daycare

They don't have to be more expensive. You can do rec sports and activities that don't cost $2K+/month. Daycare is required if both parents work. You cannot just eliminate it and leave your kid home alone as an infant

Anonymous wrote:Well I still can’t afford to buy a small 3br anything so it doesn’t matter how you want to classify me unless you feel like giving me a $1M down payment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A younger couple at $250k with two kids in day care is a heck of a lot different than a $250k couple with teens who have the advantage of savings and house appreciation. It is two completely different worlds.

Um, teens are much more expensive than little kids in daycare

How so? My teen is pretty cheap right now. In two years, he will break the bank as a college student but right now, not many costs.

Maybe their kids are elite gymnasts or figure skaters or something? Because otherwise I agree, genuinely trying to understand how someone is spending more on activities in the teen years than they did on childcare!

Spending more is a choice in the teen years. Yes, you can spend 20-30K/year with travel/competitive sports, but it's not required. whereas daycare is, and no working alternative hours isn't a choice if both parents are in 9-5 jobs (ie gold collar jobs)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How exactly are you saving $ for retirement and down-payment on a home on that income? Even a townhouse in not such a great school district is half a million now.

If you can't save on a $250k salary and a $500k home, I don't know what to tell you.

It tells me that you are old and out of touch with reality or live in Oklahoma. Let's say that a dual income family with 2 small kids are saving for a home. Their HHI is $250k. After paying their taxes, healthcare cost (average of 23k contribution for a family of 4), and contribute some to the 401k, they come home with around 10k/month. They have to pay rent while saving for a house, right? So that's 3.5k average for a 2 bedroom apartment in DC area (kids are sharing a room). They also have to put the kids someplace while working, right? So that's another 3k at minimum, assuming one is in preschool. They also have to eat, pay for transportation to work, buy clothes and laundry detergent ($20 right there, and there's so much laundry with kids), pay for utilities, car repairs (assuming they drive old, paid cars).They probably have student loans, because you can't make 250k as a family and not go to college, and these don't seem like the people with parents who paid for college. They probably want to see their families for Christmas and Thanksgiving, have you checked the airplane prices recently?
So how exactly are they saving $100k cash? This is a family who doesn't take any vacations or saves $ for college for their kids.

DP but while we make $250k combined now (kids are upper ES), we didn't make that much during most of the daycare years. But yeah, I guess we were "old" when we had kids in our mid-30s because I had paid off my student loans by then and we had saved for a down payment. Also, your healthcare costs seem really high so maybe that's affecting your finances. There are certainly places in the burbs where you can rent for less than $3500k per month too. I think the problem is that you're trying to do too much at once. You don't have to max out your 401k right now, we didn't during that time. But my actual middle class parents were barely saving anything so I have some perspective that we are relatively privliged.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A younger couple at $250k with two kids in day care is a heck of a lot different than a $250k couple with teens who have the advantage of savings and house appreciation. It is two completely different worlds.

Um, teens are much more expensive than little kids in daycare

How so? My teen is pretty cheap right now. In two years, he will break the bank as a college student but right now, not many costs.

Maybe their kids are elite gymnasts or figure skaters or something? Because otherwise I agree, genuinely trying to understand how someone is spending more on activities in the teen years than they did on childcare!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A younger couple at $250k with two kids in day care is a heck of a lot different than a $250k couple with teens who have the advantage of savings and house appreciation. It is two completely different worlds.

Um, teens are much more expensive than little kids in daycare

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A younger couple at $250k with two kids in day care is a heck of a lot different than a $250k couple with teens who have the advantage of savings and house appreciation. It is two completely different worlds.

Um, teens are much more expensive than little kids in daycare

Spoken like someone who hasn't paid for daycare in over a decade. How are you spending $3000 a month on your teen? I'll give you a few hundred of those dollars as extra food and clothing. Which is much more expensive for teens. But. What else?

Private school. $55k a year. Sports lessons $500 a month, Travel sports $300 a month, therapy, $1000 a month, trainer $600 a month, travel for sports $300 a month (average).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A younger couple at $250k with two kids in day care is a heck of a lot different than a $250k couple with teens who have the advantage of savings and house appreciation. It is two completely different worlds.

Um, teens are much more expensive than little kids in daycare

Spoken like someone who hasn't paid for daycare in over a decade. How are you spending $3000 a month on your teen? I'll give you a few hundred of those dollars as extra food and clothing. Which is much more expensive for teens. But. What else?

Private school. $55k a year. Sports lessons $500 a month, Travel sports $300 a month, therapy, $1000 a month, trainer $600 a month, travel for sports $300 a month (average).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A younger couple at $250k with two kids in day care is a heck of a lot different than a $250k couple with teens who have the advantage of savings and house appreciation. It is two completely different worlds.

Um, teens are much more expensive than little kids in daycare

Spoken like someone who hasn't paid for daycare in over a decade. How are you spending $3000 a month on your teen? I'll give you a few hundred of those dollars as extra food and clothing. Which is much more expensive for teens. But. What else?

Private school. $55k a year. Sports lessons $500 a month, Travel sports $300 a month, therapy, $1000 a month, trainer $600 a month, travel for sports $300 a month (average).