Anonymous
Post 05/28/2025 13:37     Subject: My wife wants a $8,000 handbag. Please help!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here.
This is not a milestone birthday. She is turning 34. I’m 32.
Our kids are 3 and 5. After our second child was born, we decided she will stay home until both kids start school.
I’m the sole breadwinner. HHI is $250k.
We have a mortgage but our cars are paid off.
We only started funding our 529s last year.
Our net worth is approximately $700k including home equity.

I don’t think we can afford to spend $8k on a handbag.

I believe she is being influenced by some of her friends.
She said that if I don't get her that handbag, she'll just buy it herself and remember that I'm a worthless husband.



No, you can’t. And she is shallow.


And mean.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2025 13:36     Subject: My wife wants a $8,000 handbag. Please help!
Anonymous wrote:OP here.
This is not a milestone birthday. She is turning 34. I’m 32.
Our kids are 3 and 5. After our second child was born, we decided she will stay home until both kids start school.
I’m the sole breadwinner. HHI is $250k.
We have a mortgage but our cars are paid off.
We only started funding our 529s last year.
Our net worth is approximately $700k including home equity.

I don’t think we can afford to spend $8k on a handbag.

I believe she is being influenced by some of her friends.
She said that if I don't get her that handbag, she'll just buy it herself and remember that I'm a worthless husband.



Oh boy. When I was 35 and my husband was 32 (with similar incomes but I worked) he bought a Chanel wallet for me for a birthday. I found the receipt accidentally about three months and almost had a heart attack==$500 wallet?! That was 20 yrs ago. Our HHI is now $15m+. I still don't have a Chanel purse, still carry the wallet. But note the escalation in net worth. It's not from buying purses we can't afford.

BTW, assuming you're not trolling: your wife is a b--h. Calling you names is not ok.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2025 13:29     Subject: My wife wants a $8,000 handbag. Please help!
If she can buy it for herself, then why can’t she just get the bag? Finances are shared in our household so it doesn’t matter which account the money comes from. I do think 250k is not enough for an 8k bag but I also understand that these bags increase in price every year, so it may be the better investment to buy it now, rather than when it is a 12k bag. So if she’s dead set on the bag, it may be worth it to just get it. FWIW, I have a Chanel bag and I use it very rarely.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2025 12:15     Subject: Re:My wife wants a $8,000 handbag. Please help!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No. matter how much money you have 8,000$ for a handbag is an extremely unreasonable purchase.


I love that you all are freaking out about a Chanel bag for $8K. You know many bags go for 10 times that? I don't have a Birkin because I can't afford one but I'm aware that they're out there.



Nothing you wrote negates that it is unreasonable purchase.


This is a test of whether he loves his wife. He either makes this special thing happen for her, or he's a loser. Don't be surprised if she starts to lose interest in you.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2025 10:08     Subject: My wife wants a $8,000 handbag. Please help!
Anonymous wrote:OP here.
This is not a milestone birthday. She is turning 34. I’m 32.
Our kids are 3 and 5. After our second child was born, we decided she will stay home until both kids start school.
I’m the sole breadwinner. HHI is $250k.
We have a mortgage but our cars are paid off.
We only started funding our 529s last year.
Our net worth is approximately $700k including home equity.

I don’t think we can afford to spend $8k on a handbag.

I believe she is being influenced by some of her friends.
She said that if I don't get her that handbag, she'll just buy it herself and remember that I'm a worthless husband.



No, you can’t. And she is shallow.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2025 10:08     Subject: My wife wants a $8,000 handbag. Please help!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here.
This is not a milestone birthday. She is turning 34. I’m 32.
Our kids are 3 and 5. After our second child was born, we decided she will stay home until both kids start school.
I’m the sole breadwinner. HHI is $250k.
We have a mortgage but our cars are paid off.
We only started funding our 529s last year.
Our net worth is approximately $700k including home equity.

I don’t think we can afford to spend $8k on a handbag.

I believe she is being influenced by some of her friends.
She said that if I don't get her that handbag, she'll just buy it herself and remember that I'm a worthless husband.



Agree. Do not buy this bag. You guys are middle class. That's who the fakes are for. Get one of those. Her middle class friends won't know the difference.

Oh boy, OP. This is bad. You definitely cannot afford that bag. I think it is a dumb purchase even if you could, but on $250k HHI? No freaking way. And your wife saying you are a worthless husband if you don't buy her something you cannot afford as a family?! I worry for your marriage a lot.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2025 10:04     Subject: My wife wants a $8,000 handbag. Please help!
Anonymous wrote:OP here.
This is not a milestone birthday. She is turning 34. I’m 32.
Our kids are 3 and 5. After our second child was born, we decided she will stay home until both kids start school.
I’m the sole breadwinner. HHI is $250k.
We have a mortgage but our cars are paid off.
We only started funding our 529s last year.
Our net worth is approximately $700k including home equity.

I don’t think we can afford to spend $8k on a handbag.

I believe she is being influenced by some of her friends.
She said that if I don't get her that handbag, she'll just buy it herself and remember that I'm a worthless husband.


Can you put the youngest into preK so she can go back now?

It sounds like she’s unhappy being a sahm and her friends are perhaps much richer. I’d tell her the first $8k after tax she makes it can go towards a bag. Her greedy eyes are bigger than her pocketbook!
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2025 09:37     Subject: My wife wants a $8,000 handbag. Please help!
Anonymous wrote:
I regret one of the Chanel bags that my husband gifted me.. Even our young adult child doesn't want it.
It currently sits in closet - collecting dust. Huge waste of money.

Don't do it.


Sell it to OP win-win
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2025 09:37     Subject: My wife wants a $8,000 handbag. Please help!

I regret one of the Chanel bags that my husband gifted me.. Even our young adult child doesn't want it.
It currently sits in closet - collecting dust. Huge waste of money.

Don't do it.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2025 09:33     Subject: My wife wants a $8,000 handbag. Please help!
Anonymous wrote:Make sure she isn’t following Jett and Pookie on instagram. Yes, this is common in some circles but your hhi Is not high enough to justify this with young kids. Yes, some are investments but some are trends that fade away.


I just accidentally went down the Jett and Pookie rabbit hole over the weekend. Wow.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2025 09:30     Subject: My wife wants a $8,000 handbag. Please help!
Anonymous wrote:Make sure she isn’t following Jett and Pookie on instagram. Yes, this is common in some circles but your hhi Is not high enough to justify this with young kids. Yes, some are investments but some are trends that fade away.


Pookie makes more than Jett.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2025 09:28     Subject: Re:My wife wants a $8,000 handbag. Please help!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No. matter how much money you have 8,000$ for a handbag is an extremely unreasonable purchase.


I love that you all are freaking out about a Chanel bag for $8K. You know many bags go for 10 times that? I don't have a Birkin because I can't afford one but I'm aware that they're out there.



Nothing you wrote negates that it is unreasonable purchase.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2025 09:24     Subject: My wife wants a $8,000 handbag. Please help!
Anonymous wrote:OP here.
This is not a milestone birthday. She is turning 34. I’m 32.
Our kids are 3 and 5. After our second child was born, we decided she will stay home until both kids start school.
I’m the sole breadwinner. HHI is $250k.
We have a mortgage but our cars are paid off.
We only started funding our 529s last year.
Our net worth is approximately $700k including home equity.

I don’t think we can afford to spend $8k on a handbag.

I believe she is being influenced by some of her friends.
She said that if I don't get her that handbag, she'll just buy it herself and remember that I'm a worthless husband.



Oh boy, OP. This is bad. You definitely cannot afford that bag. I think it is a dumb purchase even if you could, but on $250k HHI? No freaking way. And your wife saying you are a worthless husband if you don't buy her something you cannot afford as a family?! I worry for your marriage a lot.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2025 09:23     Subject: My wife wants a $8,000 handbag. Please help!
Anonymous wrote:My wife's birthday is coming up.
She told me that she wants a Chanel handbag for her birthday. I checked the price, and it was $8,000. I'm shocked! $8,000 for a handbag? That's crazy. Is she crazy?

I told her it's silly to spend so much money on a handbag.
She is insisting on a Chanel handbag and says it's an investment.
She doesn’t want anything else.

I love her and want to make her happy, but I can't justify spending $8k on a handbag. It’s a lot of money.

She is a SAHM. We have 2 children.

Any advice?



Stop being poor.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2025 09:21     Subject: My wife wants a $8,000 handbag. Please help!
It could be worse, I just bought a horse for twice that. She's pregnant, so really I bought two horses. Now we have nine.....

My poor husband. He's a saint.