Anonymous
05/20/2025 18:08
Subject: Drinking before college
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Just curious for everyone keeping their kids dry....what exactly do you expect will happen when they are exposed to unlimited alcohol during the first few nights they are at college and for the entire freshman and sophomore years before they turn legal?
Gee, maybe… continue not to drink illegally? Worked for me & all my siblings. And my now-DH.
Who are you people? I don’t know any parents like this. Literally none. Is it socioeconomic? Private school parents generally do not have this “absolutely no alcohol until legal” mentally.
Do you think you’re above the law? Are you teaching your kid to believe they are entitled to choose which laws to follow?
There is no law anymore to be above or below. From the president on down.
WTF are you talking about? Obviously you allow your kid to break the law then respond with brain dead drivel rather than taking responsibility. Maybe you’re drunk lol
Unfortunately, they're making a good point - there literally are no rules for those in power. I'd let my kids drink before college because I'd rather it not be some taboo subject and they can experience the effects in a comfortable setting instead of some random frat house.
This is very disordered thinking and not really the way it works. My sister’s 3 sons all had alcohol use disorder by early 20s.
Anonymous
05/20/2025 17:52
Subject: Drinking before college
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Just curious for everyone keeping their kids dry....what exactly do you expect will happen when they are exposed to unlimited alcohol during the first few nights they are at college and for the entire freshman and sophomore years before they turn legal?
Gee, maybe… continue not to drink illegally? Worked for me & all my siblings. And my now-DH.
Who are you people? I don’t know any parents like this. Literally none. Is it socioeconomic? Private school parents generally do not have this “absolutely no alcohol until legal” mentally.
Do you think you’re above the law? Are you teaching your kid to believe they are entitled to choose which laws to follow?
There is no law anymore to be above or below. From the president on down.
WTF are you talking about? Obviously you allow your kid to break the law then respond with brain dead drivel rather than taking responsibility. Maybe you’re drunk lol
Unfortunately, they're making a good point - there literally are no rules for those in power. I'd let my kids drink before college because I'd rather it not be some taboo subject and they can experience the effects in a comfortable setting instead of some random frat house.
Anonymous
05/20/2025 17:46
Subject: Drinking before college
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Just curious for everyone keeping their kids dry....what exactly do you expect will happen when they are exposed to unlimited alcohol during the first few nights they are at college and for the entire freshman and sophomore years before they turn legal?
Gee, maybe… continue not to drink illegally? Worked for me & all my siblings. And my now-DH.
It isn't reality and you are the exception. Teens naturally want to experiment. withholding it just makes the tendency to binge that much greater.
I think it's sad that people think not drinking is the exception. It's really not anymore. Encourage your kids to be like that.
Anonymous
05/20/2025 16:53
Subject: Re:Drinking before college
Anonymous wrote:My college freshmen didn’t drink in HS and still doesn’t. He’s very strict with his diet, etc—an athlete.
Yep - that was my experience too. Met the coach of the 1984 Olympic 800 meter gold medalist and he highly discouraged drinking in college. Too much compromise with the immune system. I needed to keep my scholarship and didn’t drink. I was talented, but only so much.
Anonymous
05/20/2025 16:52
Subject: Drinking before college
Please don't do this. I am an attorney and I have been involved as a prosecutor and defense lawyer in way too many cases where alcohol has ruined lives forever. Especially young lives. You are the parent. Be smarter than this.
Anonymous
05/20/2025 15:46
Subject: Drinking before college
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Just curious for everyone keeping their kids dry....what exactly do you expect will happen when they are exposed to unlimited alcohol during the first few nights they are at college and for the entire freshman and sophomore years before they turn legal?
Gee, maybe… continue not to drink illegally? Worked for me & all my siblings. And my now-DH.
Who are you people? I don’t know any parents like this. Literally none. Is it socioeconomic? Private school parents generally do not have this “absolutely no alcohol until legal” mentally.
lol yeah because you can buy your kid's way out of any trouble he gets himself into. And you do.
Poor folks have to follow the rules because no one's making exceptions for them based on their parents or family net worth.
Anonymous
05/20/2025 15:43
Subject: Drinking before college
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:In our state, people under 21 may legally drink alcohol if they are in a private residence and under the supervision of their parents/guardians. We have included DC in drinking wine with us at meals from time to time; we would never give him drinks before a party.
Possibly true someplace. Definitely not true in VA.
Parents in VA who allowed alcohol to under-21s sometimes are prosecuted - and in at least some cases jail time has resulted.
Are you sure?
NIH seems to think it’s permitted in VA at a private residence with a parent (or spouse) present. That’s also the way it was explained to me both growing up and now, as a parent myself. What you can’t really do is give it to someone else’s child and that’s when/where “parents” have gotten in trouble.
That said, it’s a no-go for us. Kids have seen too much abuse by family members and literally will walk out of a place where it’s going on. We thought that might be a social issue in college but DC1 has found a similar friend group and they can definitely have a good time without it.
Anonymous
05/20/2025 15:11
Subject: Drinking before college
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Just curious for everyone keeping their kids dry....what exactly do you expect will happen when they are exposed to unlimited alcohol during the first few nights they are at college and for the entire freshman and sophomore years before they turn legal?
Gee, maybe… continue not to drink illegally? Worked for me & all my siblings. And my now-DH.
Who are you people? I don’t know any parents like this. Literally none. Is it socioeconomic? Private school parents generally do not have this “absolutely no alcohol until legal” mentally.
Do you think you’re above the law? Are you teaching your kid to believe they are entitled to choose which laws to follow?
There is no law anymore to be above or below. From the president on down.
WTF are you talking about? Obviously you allow your kid to break the law then respond with brain dead drivel rather than taking responsibility. Maybe you’re drunk lol
Anonymous
05/20/2025 14:26
Subject: Drinking before college
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Just curious for everyone keeping their kids dry....what exactly do you expect will happen when they are exposed to unlimited alcohol during the first few nights they are at college and for the entire freshman and sophomore years before they turn legal?
Gee, maybe… continue not to drink illegally? Worked for me & all my siblings. And my now-DH.
Who are you people? I don’t know any parents like this. Literally none. Is it socioeconomic? Private school parents generally do not have this “absolutely no alcohol until legal” mentally.
Do you think you’re above the law? Are you teaching your kid to believe they are entitled to choose which laws to follow?
There is no law anymore to be above or below. From the president on down.
Anonymous
05/20/2025 14:25
Subject: Drinking before college
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Just curious for everyone keeping their kids dry....what exactly do you expect will happen when they are exposed to unlimited alcohol during the first few nights they are at college and for the entire freshman and sophomore years before they turn legal?
Gee, maybe… continue not to drink illegally? Worked for me & all my siblings. And my now-DH.
It isn't reality and you are the exception. Teens naturally want to experiment. withholding it just makes the tendency to binge that much greater.
Anonymous
05/20/2025 14:12
Subject: Drinking before college
Anonymous wrote:When I was in college everyone drank low abv beers. Now even 7eleven has 8%+ beers. Drinking just seems more dangerous.
This. Our beer was like water in college. Milwaukee’s Best “the beast of the east” ruled at VT back in the late 80s/early 90s.
Today there are craft beers 8% to 12%. My husband and his cousin were literally on their @sses after a few of these before heading out to dinner. Some have as much alcohol as an entire bottle of wine.
Anonymous
05/20/2025 12:45
Subject: Drinking before college
This is the law in NJ.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:In our state, people under 21 may legally drink alcohol if they are in a private residence and under the supervision of their parents/guardians. We have included DC in drinking wine with us at meals from time to time; we would never give him drinks before a party.
Possibly true someplace. Definitely not true in VA.
Parents in VA who allowed alcohol to under-21s sometimes are prosecuted - and in at least some cases jail time has resulted.
Anonymous
05/20/2025 11:37
Subject: Drinking before college
When I was in college everyone drank low abv beers. Now even 7eleven has 8%+ beers. Drinking just seems more dangerous.
Anonymous
05/20/2025 11:37
Subject: Drinking before college
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Two random thoughts. First, friend’s kid got a fake and I was astonished at the quality, hologram and all. Parent found it and got rid of it. Second, in some ways kids today seem more health focused, although vaping has been a horrific add after making so much progress on cigarettes. I do wonder if social anxiety and less maturity on that front due to Covid makes drinking more appealing now?
The kids can get very good fake ids online. Some of them even pass the scanners that some bouncers have.
You can confiscate your kids id and they will just go out and get another.
This is ridiculous. Did taking the fake id also come with any consequences? Do you have a tracking on your 17 year old's phone? I know where my kids are going and can check where they are. People letting their kids have fake ids and going to clubs are so stupid.
Anonymous
05/20/2025 11:34
Subject: Drinking before college
Anonymous wrote:I work on a college campus and drinking today is very different than in 1992.
In my day, drinking 3-4 nights a week was not uncommon. Drinking to drunk was the MO of maybe 20% of the campus, every single weekend. (It's surprising to go to a reunion and see how many of us quit drinking entirely).
There was also a fair amount of coke.
Today (and this is not a big southern party school but a T20 northeast school), fake IDs are plentiful - everyone has one - but I bet 1/3rd of the kids never drink or have less than 2 drinks a month. Most are weekend only drinkers and that's 2-4 drinks a night (not drink to drunkness). And a very slim get really drunk regularly.. Maybe 5%.
IOW, in my day, most kids got drunk almost most weekends. Now I'd say most kids get drunk 3-4 times a year.
Weed and edibles very common, but again, we dont have kids passed out in the yard like we used to.
Agree. My kid sought schools w/out Greek/heavy drinking. It was between a Slac and an Ivy. He’s at an Ivy and still doesn’t drink. He’s also serious about a sport/his body/health. He’s happy, very social- they just don’t her things—lots of pick up sports and hang outs, etc.
My nephews at state schools (one my alma mater) had heavy drinking—it was more like back in my day.
Obviously, certain schools have a culture of heavy drinking and/or heavy Greek, hazing issues, etc.