Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread went off the rails fast. I worked in higher ed at top universities for 10 years and I will tell you that the number of sexual assault notifications during the first few weeks of school is shocking. Do not normalize this behavior. Girls get into trouble very quickly getting drunk around complete strangers and thinking this is just normal college life.

What if it’s consensual?

Then normally it is not reported as a sexual assault. But, inexperience with alcohol, strangers, and confusion about what is "normal" can lead to misunderstandings where one person may have even thought it was consensual or was too drunk to realize that the other person did not consent. Not excusing anything, but this is all a recipe for disaster. Colleges are required to publish the info within a short period of time under the Clery Act. This is not the rumor mill I am talking about--university staff sees a HUGE uptick in notifications about sexual assault on campus starting right when the students begin school. Most of these involve freshman and take place in dorms between two students. Talk to your kids instead of buying them condoms and thinking that random drunk sex is just part of your early days away from home.

Duh, that’s how consent works.

Exactly. Someone had asked "what if it's consensual?" so I was explaining that consensual encounters are not reported as SA, with the caveat that sometimes not all parties have the same understanding as to whether there was consent.

And often, many young women at age 18 wake up the following day to regret their decision even if it was "consensual". Again, some of the PPs seem to glorify casual sex with strangers at age 18 as some type of rite of passage that is fun, carefree, and no big deal. A lot of these kids don't have the emotional capacity to handle this stuff regardless of what some think about this generation.

On the other hand, plenty of students are mature and sexually active by 18 and can handle consensual hookups with no issues.

OK you sound like either a teenager or an unhinged #boymom. It's not a good idea to get wasted and have sex with random classmates during orientation for many reasons. It's fine to accept the reality that it happens, but it's also okay to advise your kids against it.

NP. I completely agree with you; however, could you lose the snarky and absurd #boymom moniker? There are PLENTY of “girl moms” who are loud and proud about their daughters’ freedom to hook up. We see it all the time on DCUM - moms who constantly flaunt their #strongfeminist daughters and all their sexual exploits.

It’s gross either way and certainly isn’t limited to only moms of boys. I’m a mom of both and cringe when I hear other moms glorifying casual sex like that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a hopeful teenager. Don't worry, you are going off to college for real very soon.

Huh? Are you not aware of what’s happening at orientation?

The same thing as the rest of the year. Pack condoms and plan b for the whole year, not specifically orientation.

Should DD be sent with condoms or is that for the men to bring?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread went off the rails fast. I worked in higher ed at top universities for 10 years and I will tell you that the number of sexual assault notifications during the first few weeks of school is shocking. Do not normalize this behavior. Girls get into trouble very quickly getting drunk around complete strangers and thinking this is just normal college life.

What if it’s consensual?

Then normally it is not reported as a sexual assault. But, inexperience with alcohol, strangers, and confusion about what is "normal" can lead to misunderstandings where one person may have even thought it was consensual or was too drunk to realize that the other person did not consent. Not excusing anything, but this is all a recipe for disaster. Colleges are required to publish the info within a short period of time under the Clery Act. This is not the rumor mill I am talking about--university staff sees a HUGE uptick in notifications about sexual assault on campus starting right when the students begin school. Most of these involve freshman and take place in dorms between two students. Talk to your kids instead of buying them condoms and thinking that random drunk sex is just part of your early days away from home.

Duh, that’s how consent works.

Exactly. Someone had asked "what if it's consensual?" so I was explaining that consensual encounters are not reported as SA, with the caveat that sometimes not all parties have the same understanding as to whether there was consent.

And often, many young women at age 18 wake up the following day to regret their decision even if it was "consensual". Again, some of the PPs seem to glorify casual sex with strangers at age 18 as some type of rite of passage that is fun, carefree, and no big deal. A lot of these kids don't have the emotional capacity to handle this stuff regardless of what some think about this generation.

On the other hand, plenty of students are mature and sexually active by 18 and can handle consensual hookups with no issues.

OK you sound like either a teenager or an unhinged #boymom. It's not a good idea to get wasted and have sex with random classmates during orientation for many reasons. It's fine to accept the reality that it happens, but it's also okay to advise your kids against it.

NP. I completely agree with you; however, could you lose the snarky and absurd #boymom moniker? There are PLENTY of “girl moms” who are loud and proud about their daughters’ freedom to hook up. We see it all the time on DCUM - moms who constantly flaunt their #strongfeminist daughters and all their sexual exploits.

It’s gross either way and certainly isn’t limited to only moms of boys. I’m a mom of both and cringe when I hear other moms glorifying casual sex like that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread went off the rails fast. I worked in higher ed at top universities for 10 years and I will tell you that the number of sexual assault notifications during the first few weeks of school is shocking. Do not normalize this behavior. Girls get into trouble very quickly getting drunk around complete strangers and thinking this is just normal college life.

What if it’s consensual?

Then normally it is not reported as a sexual assault. But, inexperience with alcohol, strangers, and confusion about what is "normal" can lead to misunderstandings where one person may have even thought it was consensual or was too drunk to realize that the other person did not consent. Not excusing anything, but this is all a recipe for disaster. Colleges are required to publish the info within a short period of time under the Clery Act. This is not the rumor mill I am talking about--university staff sees a HUGE uptick in notifications about sexual assault on campus starting right when the students begin school. Most of these involve freshman and take place in dorms between two students. Talk to your kids instead of buying them condoms and thinking that random drunk sex is just part of your early days away from home.

Duh, that’s how consent works.

Exactly. Someone had asked "what if it's consensual?" so I was explaining that consensual encounters are not reported as SA, with the caveat that sometimes not all parties have the same understanding as to whether there was consent.

And often, many young women at age 18 wake up the following day to regret their decision even if it was "consensual". Again, some of the PPs seem to glorify casual sex with strangers at age 18 as some type of rite of passage that is fun, carefree, and no big deal. A lot of these kids don't have the emotional capacity to handle this stuff regardless of what some think about this generation.

On the other hand, plenty of students are mature and sexually active by 18 and can handle consensual hookups with no issues.

OK you sound like either a teenager or an unhinged #boymom. It's not a good idea to get wasted and have sex with random classmates during orientation for many reasons. It's fine to accept the reality that it happens, but it's also okay to advise your kids against it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread went off the rails fast. I worked in higher ed at top universities for 10 years and I will tell you that the number of sexual assault notifications during the first few weeks of school is shocking. Do not normalize this behavior. Girls get into trouble very quickly getting drunk around complete strangers and thinking this is just normal college life.

What if it’s consensual?

Then normally it is not reported as a sexual assault. But, inexperience with alcohol, strangers, and confusion about what is "normal" can lead to misunderstandings where one person may have even thought it was consensual or was too drunk to realize that the other person did not consent. Not excusing anything, but this is all a recipe for disaster. Colleges are required to publish the info within a short period of time under the Clery Act. This is not the rumor mill I am talking about--university staff sees a HUGE uptick in notifications about sexual assault on campus starting right when the students begin school. Most of these involve freshman and take place in dorms between two students. Talk to your kids instead of buying them condoms and thinking that random drunk sex is just part of your early days away from home.

Duh, that’s how consent works.

Exactly. Someone had asked "what if it's consensual?" so I was explaining that consensual encounters are not reported as SA, with the caveat that sometimes not all parties have the same understanding as to whether there was consent.

And often, many young women at age 18 wake up the following day to regret their decision even if it was "consensual". Again, some of the PPs seem to glorify casual sex with strangers at age 18 as some type of rite of passage that is fun, carefree, and no big deal. A lot of these kids don't have the emotional capacity to handle this stuff regardless of what some think about this generation.

On the other hand, plenty of students are mature and sexually active by 18 and can handle consensual hookups with no issues.

You could not be more wrong.

"Mature" and "18" do not belong in the same sentence. Sexually active, yes, but you have no idea that they are handling "consensual hookups" with no issues.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread went off the rails fast. I worked in higher ed at top universities for 10 years and I will tell you that the number of sexual assault notifications during the first few weeks of school is shocking. Do not normalize this behavior. Girls get into trouble very quickly getting drunk around complete strangers and thinking this is just normal college life.

What if it’s consensual?

Then normally it is not reported as a sexual assault. But, inexperience with alcohol, strangers, and confusion about what is "normal" can lead to misunderstandings where one person may have even thought it was consensual or was too drunk to realize that the other person did not consent. Not excusing anything, but this is all a recipe for disaster. Colleges are required to publish the info within a short period of time under the Clery Act. This is not the rumor mill I am talking about--university staff sees a HUGE uptick in notifications about sexual assault on campus starting right when the students begin school. Most of these involve freshman and take place in dorms between two students. Talk to your kids instead of buying them condoms and thinking that random drunk sex is just part of your early days away from home.

Duh, that’s how consent works.

Exactly. Someone had asked "what if it's consensual?" so I was explaining that consensual encounters are not reported as SA, with the caveat that sometimes not all parties have the same understanding as to whether there was consent.

And often, many young women at age 18 wake up the following day to regret their decision even if it was "consensual". Again, some of the PPs seem to glorify casual sex with strangers at age 18 as some type of rite of passage that is fun, carefree, and no big deal. A lot of these kids don't have the emotional capacity to handle this stuff regardless of what some think about this generation.

On the other hand, plenty of students are mature and sexually active by 18 and can handle consensual hookups with no issues.

OK you sound like either a teenager or an unhinged #boymom. It's not a good idea to get wasted and have sex with random classmates during orientation for many reasons. It's fine to accept the reality that it happens, but it's also okay to advise your kids against it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread went off the rails fast. I worked in higher ed at top universities for 10 years and I will tell you that the number of sexual assault notifications during the first few weeks of school is shocking. Do not normalize this behavior. Girls get into trouble very quickly getting drunk around complete strangers and thinking this is just normal college life.

What if it’s consensual?

Then normally it is not reported as a sexual assault. But, inexperience with alcohol, strangers, and confusion about what is "normal" can lead to misunderstandings where one person may have even thought it was consensual or was too drunk to realize that the other person did not consent. Not excusing anything, but this is all a recipe for disaster. Colleges are required to publish the info within a short period of time under the Clery Act. This is not the rumor mill I am talking about--university staff sees a HUGE uptick in notifications about sexual assault on campus starting right when the students begin school. Most of these involve freshman and take place in dorms between two students. Talk to your kids instead of buying them condoms and thinking that random drunk sex is just part of your early days away from home.

Duh, that’s how consent works.

Exactly. Someone had asked "what if it's consensual?" so I was explaining that consensual encounters are not reported as SA, with the caveat that sometimes not all parties have the same understanding as to whether there was consent.

And often, many young women at age 18 wake up the following day to regret their decision even if it was "consensual". Again, some of the PPs seem to glorify casual sex with strangers at age 18 as some type of rite of passage that is fun, carefree, and no big deal. A lot of these kids don't have the emotional capacity to handle this stuff regardless of what some think about this generation.

On the other hand, plenty of students are mature and sexually active by 18 and can handle consensual hookups with no issues.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread went off the rails fast. I worked in higher ed at top universities for 10 years and I will tell you that the number of sexual assault notifications during the first few weeks of school is shocking. Do not normalize this behavior. Girls get into trouble very quickly getting drunk around complete strangers and thinking this is just normal college life.

What if it’s consensual?

Then normally it is not reported as a sexual assault. But, inexperience with alcohol, strangers, and confusion about what is "normal" can lead to misunderstandings where one person may have even thought it was consensual or was too drunk to realize that the other person did not consent. Not excusing anything, but this is all a recipe for disaster. Colleges are required to publish the info within a short period of time under the Clery Act. This is not the rumor mill I am talking about--university staff sees a HUGE uptick in notifications about sexual assault on campus starting right when the students begin school. Most of these involve freshman and take place in dorms between two students. Talk to your kids instead of buying them condoms and thinking that random drunk sex is just part of your early days away from home.

Duh, that’s how consent works.

Exactly. Someone had asked "what if it's consensual?" so I was explaining that consensual encounters are not reported as SA, with the caveat that sometimes not all parties have the same understanding as to whether there was consent.

And often, many young women at age 18 wake up the following day to regret their decision even if it was "consensual". Again, some of the PPs seem to glorify casual sex with strangers at age 18 as some type of rite of passage that is fun, carefree, and no big deal. A lot of these kids don't have the emotional capacity to handle this stuff regardless of what some think about this generation.

On the other hand, plenty of students are mature and sexually active by 18 and can handle consensual hookups with no issues.

My DD is graduating this year and she's got a huge friend group and knows practically everyone in the graduating class. Every girl she knows who has hooked up/have had casual sex involved some kind of drama, feelings of insecurity, and the guy running the other way. The very few who don't have a problem with it are talked about since word spreads like fire, which then results in an issue. These aren't 25 year olds we're talking about.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread went off the rails fast. I worked in higher ed at top universities for 10 years and I will tell you that the number of sexual assault notifications during the first few weeks of school is shocking. Do not normalize this behavior. Girls get into trouble very quickly getting drunk around complete strangers and thinking this is just normal college life.

What if it’s consensual?

Then normally it is not reported as a sexual assault. But, inexperience with alcohol, strangers, and confusion about what is "normal" can lead to misunderstandings where one person may have even thought it was consensual or was too drunk to realize that the other person did not consent. Not excusing anything, but this is all a recipe for disaster. Colleges are required to publish the info within a short period of time under the Clery Act. This is not the rumor mill I am talking about--university staff sees a HUGE uptick in notifications about sexual assault on campus starting right when the students begin school. Most of these involve freshman and take place in dorms between two students. Talk to your kids instead of buying them condoms and thinking that random drunk sex is just part of your early days away from home.

Duh, that’s how consent works.

Exactly. Someone had asked "what if it's consensual?" so I was explaining that consensual encounters are not reported as SA, with the caveat that sometimes not all parties have the same understanding as to whether there was consent.

And often, many young women at age 18 wake up the following day to regret their decision even if it was "consensual". Again, some of the PPs seem to glorify casual sex with strangers at age 18 as some type of rite of passage that is fun, carefree, and no big deal. A lot of these kids don't have the emotional capacity to handle this stuff regardless of what some think about this generation.

On the other hand, plenty of students are mature and sexually active by 18 and can handle consensual hookups with no issues.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread went off the rails fast. I worked in higher ed at top universities for 10 years and I will tell you that the number of sexual assault notifications during the first few weeks of school is shocking. Do not normalize this behavior. Girls get into trouble very quickly getting drunk around complete strangers and thinking this is just normal college life.

What if it’s consensual?

Then normally it is not reported as a sexual assault. But, inexperience with alcohol, strangers, and confusion about what is "normal" can lead to misunderstandings where one person may have even thought it was consensual or was too drunk to realize that the other person did not consent. Not excusing anything, but this is all a recipe for disaster. Colleges are required to publish the info within a short period of time under the Clery Act. This is not the rumor mill I am talking about--university staff sees a HUGE uptick in notifications about sexual assault on campus starting right when the students begin school. Most of these involve freshman and take place in dorms between two students. Talk to your kids instead of buying them condoms and thinking that random drunk sex is just part of your early days away from home.

Duh, that’s how consent works.

Exactly. Someone had asked "what if it's consensual?" so I was explaining that consensual encounters are not reported as SA, with the caveat that sometimes not all parties have the same understanding as to whether there was consent.

And often, many young women at age 18 wake up the following day to regret their decision even if it was "consensual". Again, some of the PPs seem to glorify casual sex with strangers at age 18 as some type of rite of passage that is fun, carefree, and no big deal. A lot of these kids don't have the emotional capacity to handle this stuff regardless of what some think about this generation.

On the other hand, plenty of students are mature and sexually active by 18 and can handle consensual hookups with no issues.

My DD is graduating this year and she's got a huge friend group and knows practically everyone in the graduating class. Every girl she knows who has hooked up/have had casual sex involved some kind of drama, feelings of insecurity, and the guy running the other way. The very few who don't have a problem with it are talked about since word spreads like fire, which then results in an issue. These aren't 25 year olds we're talking about.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread went off the rails fast. I worked in higher ed at top universities for 10 years and I will tell you that the number of sexual assault notifications during the first few weeks of school is shocking. Do not normalize this behavior. Girls get into trouble very quickly getting drunk around complete strangers and thinking this is just normal college life.

What if it’s consensual?

Then normally it is not reported as a sexual assault. But, inexperience with alcohol, strangers, and confusion about what is "normal" can lead to misunderstandings where one person may have even thought it was consensual or was too drunk to realize that the other person did not consent. Not excusing anything, but this is all a recipe for disaster. Colleges are required to publish the info within a short period of time under the Clery Act. This is not the rumor mill I am talking about--university staff sees a HUGE uptick in notifications about sexual assault on campus starting right when the students begin school. Most of these involve freshman and take place in dorms between two students. Talk to your kids instead of buying them condoms and thinking that random drunk sex is just part of your early days away from home.

Duh, that’s how consent works.

Exactly. Someone had asked "what if it's consensual?" so I was explaining that consensual encounters are not reported as SA, with the caveat that sometimes not all parties have the same understanding as to whether there was consent.

And often, many young women at age 18 wake up the following day to regret their decision even if it was "consensual". Again, some of the PPs seem to glorify casual sex with strangers at age 18 as some type of rite of passage that is fun, carefree, and no big deal. A lot of these kids don't have the emotional capacity to handle this stuff regardless of what some think about this generation.

On the other hand, plenty of students are mature and sexually active by 18 and can handle consensual hookups with no issues.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread went off the rails fast. I worked in higher ed at top universities for 10 years and I will tell you that the number of sexual assault notifications during the first few weeks of school is shocking. Do not normalize this behavior. Girls get into trouble very quickly getting drunk around complete strangers and thinking this is just normal college life.

What if it’s consensual?

Then normally it is not reported as a sexual assault. But, inexperience with alcohol, strangers, and confusion about what is "normal" can lead to misunderstandings where one person may have even thought it was consensual or was too drunk to realize that the other person did not consent. Not excusing anything, but this is all a recipe for disaster. Colleges are required to publish the info within a short period of time under the Clery Act. This is not the rumor mill I am talking about--university staff sees a HUGE uptick in notifications about sexual assault on campus starting right when the students begin school. Most of these involve freshman and take place in dorms between two students. Talk to your kids instead of buying them condoms and thinking that random drunk sex is just part of your early days away from home.

Duh, that’s how consent works.

Exactly. Someone had asked "what if it's consensual?" so I was explaining that consensual encounters are not reported as SA, with the caveat that sometimes not all parties have the same understanding as to whether there was consent.

And often, many young women at age 18 wake up the following day to regret their decision even if it was "consensual". Again, some of the PPs seem to glorify casual sex with strangers at age 18 as some type of rite of passage that is fun, carefree, and no big deal. A lot of these kids don't have the emotional capacity to handle this stuff regardless of what some think about this generation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread went off the rails fast. I worked in higher ed at top universities for 10 years and I will tell you that the number of sexual assault notifications during the first few weeks of school is shocking. Do not normalize this behavior. Girls get into trouble very quickly getting drunk around complete strangers and thinking this is just normal college life.

What if it’s consensual?

Then normally it is not reported as a sexual assault. But, inexperience with alcohol, strangers, and confusion about what is "normal" can lead to misunderstandings where one person may have even thought it was consensual or was too drunk to realize that the other person did not consent. Not excusing anything, but this is all a recipe for disaster. Colleges are required to publish the info within a short period of time under the Clery Act. This is not the rumor mill I am talking about--university staff sees a HUGE uptick in notifications about sexual assault on campus starting right when the students begin school. Most of these involve freshman and take place in dorms between two students. Talk to your kids instead of buying them condoms and thinking that random drunk sex is just part of your early days away from home.

Duh, that’s how consent works.

Exactly. Someone had asked "what if it's consensual?" so I was explaining that consensual encounters are not reported as SA, with the caveat that sometimes not all parties have the same understanding as to whether there was consent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread went off the rails fast. I worked in higher ed at top universities for 10 years and I will tell you that the number of sexual assault notifications during the first few weeks of school is shocking. Do not normalize this behavior. Girls get into trouble very quickly getting drunk around complete strangers and thinking this is just normal college life.

What if it’s consensual?

Then normally it is not reported as a sexual assault. But, inexperience with alcohol, strangers, and confusion about what is "normal" can lead to misunderstandings where one person may have even thought it was consensual or was too drunk to realize that the other person did not consent. Not excusing anything, but this is all a recipe for disaster. Colleges are required to publish the info within a short period of time under the Clery Act. This is not the rumor mill I am talking about--university staff sees a HUGE uptick in notifications about sexual assault on campus starting right when the students begin school. Most of these involve freshman and take place in dorms between two students. Talk to your kids instead of buying them condoms and thinking that random drunk sex is just part of your early days away from home.

Duh, that’s how consent works.