Anonymous
Post 10/25/2025 09:58     Subject: Frumpy old dad laid off
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think you are underestimating yourself big time. It’s great that you are getting healthy (you need to be there for your kids in the long run) but body shape has little to do with hiring. Tons of ceos are overweight look at trump and pritzker. Go get a fancy haircut and maybe dye to look a bit fresher. Also stem technical knowledge is always valuable. I would do some relevant certifications courses in your free time while you are looking mostly just to keep you sharp and expand your networking.


But I’m responding to another thread where they say don’t look grumpy etc, and I look in the mirror and realize why interviews aren’t closing. In prior years, I ALWAYS got an offer for every interview. This sudden reversal of trend is troubling and that’s why I am worried about this aspect of being older.


No, it isn't. This is happening to everyone. It is not you. It is them.
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2025 09:47     Subject: Frumpy old dad laid off
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Hope you are doing well! Any luck?


Had another round of interviews for a job I was very excited about. Met with manager, then another set of 4 hours of group interviews with the team I would work with. I thought it went well, they were very positive throughout the whole process it felt like.

But then didn't get an offer. These were all at least a decade younger than me -- I worry I look too old and moreover people are wary of managing people younger than you (I'm not even that senior, as I parent tracked to a steady hours individual contributor role).

I don't know if its simply my age, or my frumpy appearance (I guess its type for GLP-1 and nicer clothes?), or perhaps the interviews aren't going as well as I think?

Losing hope, and with the shutdown, all the potential contractor jobs I would look at are laying off in droves.


When a young HM turns down a more experienced candidate it’s often not due to appearance, they are afraid you might be more “expert” and not “low threat” enough. Can you think of some low key comments to convince them you are not looking to overtake them when hired? For me it was easy bc as a woman, I naturally bring up my desire for a more predictable schedule to appear less ambitious. But success rate will also depend on the HM.


I figured my very long tenure at an IC role would suffice! They did ask this about how they were looking for someone in the role for a while, and my intention was very much to stay for a while and gain mastery and contribute, but maybe I said it wrong. I’ll try to prep for that kind of question some more.


If it’s an IC role similar to the one you had for a while just say you truly enjoy what you did and look forward to do it more in a dynamic team, and butter up the HM by asking his /her vision for the team, show willingness to put in extra “management chores” for them. Younger teams do use group chat and newer communication tools say show you enjoy new tools and you adapt well. The goal is to mix in and not be a mid-fit.
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2025 07:33     Subject: Frumpy old dad laid off
Why are you slacking on the clorhes? That's the easiest and quickest thing to fix. If you're concerned about cost, try Poshmark and eBay. Get a good haircut, too, and possibly consider blending the grey.

Have you worked your connections? As you've likely heard, sometimes it's not what you know, but who you know. Make sure you're not being off-putting in interview.
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2025 18:53     Subject: Frumpy old dad laid off
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Hope you are doing well! Any luck?


Had another round of interviews for a job I was very excited about. Met with manager, then another set of 4 hours of group interviews with the team I would work with. I thought it went well, they were very positive throughout the whole process it felt like.

But then didn't get an offer. These were all at least a decade younger than me -- I worry I look too old and moreover people are wary of managing people younger than you (I'm not even that senior, as I parent tracked to a steady hours individual contributor role).

I don't know if its simply my age, or my frumpy appearance (I guess its type for GLP-1 and nicer clothes?), or perhaps the interviews aren't going as well as I think?

Losing hope, and with the shutdown, all the potential contractor jobs I would look at are laying off in droves.


When a young HM turns down a more experienced candidate it’s often not due to appearance, they are afraid you might be more “expert” and not “low threat” enough. Can you think of some low key comments to convince them you are not looking to overtake them when hired? For me it was easy bc as a woman, I naturally bring up my desire for a more predictable schedule to appear less ambitious. But success rate will also depend on the HM.


I figured my very long tenure at an IC role would suffice! They did ask this about how they were looking for someone in the role for a while, and my intention was very much to stay for a while and gain mastery and contribute, but maybe I said it wrong. I’ll try to prep for that kind of question some more.
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2025 18:26     Subject: Frumpy old dad laid off
You can start by getting good clothes or maybe get ozemoic first!
Fewer activities for kids, more work for the wife, it’s you do what you gotta do! GL
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2025 18:25     Subject: Frumpy old dad laid off
Good posture. Stand up straight, shoulders back.

Go to a tanning salon before so you have some color on your face/scalp.

You are getting interviews so your resume is good.

There are some gentle hair color formulas out there...henna etc. Experiment with some of those. Women with gray hair will get passed over in interviews.

Modern suit that fits well. Modern hair cut.
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2025 18:23     Subject: Frumpy old dad laid off
Good posture. Stand up straight, shoulders back.

Go to a tanning salon before so you have some color on your face/scalp.

You are getting interviews so your resume is good.

There are some gentle hair color formulas out there...henna etc. Experiment with some of those. Women with gray hair will get passed over in interviews.

Modern suit that fits well. Modern hair cut.
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2025 18:00     Subject: Frumpy old dad laid off
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Hope you are doing well! Any luck?


Had another round of interviews for a job I was very excited about. Met with manager, then another set of 4 hours of group interviews with the team I would work with. I thought it went well, they were very positive throughout the whole process it felt like.

But then didn't get an offer. These were all at least a decade younger than me -- I worry I look too old and moreover people are wary of managing people younger than you (I'm not even that senior, as I parent tracked to a steady hours individual contributor role).

I don't know if its simply my age, or my frumpy appearance (I guess its type for GLP-1 and nicer clothes?), or perhaps the interviews aren't going as well as I think?

Losing hope, and with the shutdown, all the potential contractor jobs I would look at are laying off in droves.


When a young HM turns down a more experienced candidate it’s often not due to appearance, they are afraid you might be more “expert” and not “low threat” enough. Can you think of some low key comments to convince them you are not looking to overtake them when hired? For me it was easy bc as a woman, I naturally bring up my desire for a more predictable schedule to appear less ambitious. But success rate will also depend on the HM.
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2025 16:53     Subject: Frumpy old dad laid off
Anonymous wrote:Get your fat ass on glo-1 and Shane hits head


its GLP-1 and shave your head
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2025 16:33     Subject: Frumpy old dad laid off
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Get your fat ass on glo-1 and Shane hits head


Are you having a stroke

Or, for anyone old who did NYT Connections yesterday, is this an example of copypasta?!
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2025 16:30     Subject: Frumpy old dad laid off
Anonymous wrote:Get your fat ass on glo-1 and Shane hits head


Are you having a stroke
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2025 16:16     Subject: Frumpy old dad laid off
Get your fat ass on glo-1 and Shane hits head
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2025 16:04     Subject: Frumpy old dad laid off
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Hope you are doing well! Any luck?


Had another round of interviews for a job I was very excited about. Met with manager, then another set of 4 hours of group interviews with the team I would work with. I thought it went well, they were very positive throughout the whole process it felt like.

But then didn't get an offer. These were all at least a decade younger than me -- I worry I look too old and moreover people are wary of managing people younger than you (I'm not even that senior, as I parent tracked to a steady hours individual contributor role).

I don't know if its simply my age, or my frumpy appearance (I guess its type for GLP-1 and nicer clothes?), or perhaps the interviews aren't going as well as I think?

Losing hope, and with the shutdown, all the potential contractor jobs I would look at are laying off in droves.


Sorry to hear this. Do you have a spouse or friend who can help you with the grumpy appearance?
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2025 13:35     Subject: Frumpy old dad laid off
Anonymous wrote:Hope you are doing well! Any luck?


Had another round of interviews for a job I was very excited about. Met with manager, then another set of 4 hours of group interviews with the team I would work with. I thought it went well, they were very positive throughout the whole process it felt like.

But then didn't get an offer. These were all at least a decade younger than me -- I worry I look too old and moreover people are wary of managing people younger than you (I'm not even that senior, as I parent tracked to a steady hours individual contributor role).

I don't know if its simply my age, or my frumpy appearance (I guess its type for GLP-1 and nicer clothes?), or perhaps the interviews aren't going as well as I think?

Losing hope, and with the shutdown, all the potential contractor jobs I would look at are laying off in droves.
Anonymous
Post 06/06/2025 10:15     Subject: Frumpy old dad laid off
Hope you are doing well! Any luck?