Anonymous wrote:My kid hasn't asked to wear this stuff as of yet but several of the families we are close to have been having this conversation with their daughters so I've been thinking about my position on it.

I agree with all the PPs that there is no reason to interpret this stuff as sexual -- these are tweens, their interest is in this as fashion, not because they are trying to attract others. Also once there's a critical mass of girls dressing this way, it's about fitting in. It's like how in HS, the standard is super short dresses with sneakers for homecoming. It looks weird to me but the ALL do it -- it's just how kids dress these days. I'm sure what I wore to homecoming dances in high school would look stupid to them.

BUT my main objection to these specific items (the off the shoulder shirts and the belly shirts) is if they are items of clothing that girls are constantly adjusting. I have worn both of these items and they can just be fussy. Especially the off the shoulder top. Add in that these kids are in puberty so are sometimes wearing bras for the first time and their bodies are changing quickly, and it just seems like a headache to wear something like this to school. I don't want my DD at school focusing on making her neckline lie correctly or thinking about her shirt riding up.

So my current stance is that if she wants to get clothes like this, I'm fine with it, but she can't wear it to school. She could wear to hang out with friends or to a birthday party or something. But at school she needs to wear more practical clothes that don't inhibit or distract.

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Anonymous wrote:Yes my sixth grader wears such things. Though generally an off the shoulder top would be worn with a tank top under. And no super shirt crop tops but yes her midriff is sometimes exposed an inch or two

I don’t believe in weird policing or over sexualizing of girls bodies.

Exposing midriff not at all sexualizing. Dumb ass.

Are you sure about that? Why do you think they want to show off their stomach?

DP, but seriously? My kid just likes the way something feels or looks. Nothing sexual. I think you have an issue. Kid doesn't like the way longer shirts cover her shorts, doesn't like the way they feel when tucked in. So a cropped top that hits the mid is perfect.

lol. it is sexual. your kids are sexual beings. they have urges. they want sexual attention. they are immature. they equate attention as love. you are the parent and your job is to protect them and teach them to be discerning.

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Anonymous wrote:Culturally it used to be a problem in the United States for women to show their ankles. It just wasn't done, and if you showed your ankles you meant something by it.

Obviously that'd be ridiculous now. I'm wearing ankle pants at work and so my bare ankles are showing and it's perfectly appropriate.

I'm noticing more and more crop tops and off-the-shoulder tops in kids' clothing sections at stores these days (think Gap and Target). It's quite possible that we are moving to a point where these things will be considered 100% as normal to show as my ankles right now.

I mean there have been cultures globally throughout history where full or nearly full nudity was normal.

It's all culturally defined.

OP just decide what your family will allow and go with it.

I mean, off the shoulder was also all the rage in the 80s. Flashdance is from 1983. We all wanted to look like Jennifer Beals on the poster even if we were too young to see the movie.

PP here. I guess you can tell I'm too young for that .

I figured!! So many people on here don’t remember the 60s or the 80s. Nothing being worn now is particularly novel unless you go back to the early 50s. The movie Grease is set in 1958 and everybody thought Sandi looked amazing in the final scene in her all black outfit with (gasp) both shoulders showing!!

100% I was wearing babydoll shirts and baggy jeans in high school VERY similar to what my 12 year old wears now.

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Anonymous wrote:Culturally it used to be a problem in the United States for women to show their ankles. It just wasn't done, and if you showed your ankles you meant something by it.

Obviously that'd be ridiculous now. I'm wearing ankle pants at work and so my bare ankles are showing and it's perfectly appropriate.

I'm noticing more and more crop tops and off-the-shoulder tops in kids' clothing sections at stores these days (think Gap and Target). It's quite possible that we are moving to a point where these things will be considered 100% as normal to show as my ankles right now.

I mean there have been cultures globally throughout history where full or nearly full nudity was normal.

It's all culturally defined.

OP just decide what your family will allow and go with it.

I mean, off the shoulder was also all the rage in the 80s. Flashdance is from 1983. We all wanted to look like Jennifer Beals on the poster even if we were too young to see the movie.

PP here. I guess you can tell I'm too young for that .

I figured!! So many people on here don’t remember the 60s or the 80s. Nothing being worn now is particularly novel unless you go back to the early 50s. The movie Grease is set in 1958 and everybody thought Sandi looked amazing in the final scene in her all black outfit with (gasp) both shoulders showing!!

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Anonymous wrote:I don’t think a belly button is sexual. Nor a shoulder. I let my dd wear these things because she’s comfortable in her body and I never was, I’m glad she has that confidence. If another kid gets turned on by her shoulder that’s not something I can control. People have foot fetishes but we all wear sandals and flip flops in the summer.

Ok keep telling yourself this while the boy moms think your daughter looks like a ho.

Uhhh mom of a middle school boy here. Definitely would not think this. In fact, was reading this trying to figure out why off the shoulder was such a big deal. A midriff shirt I get, but off the shoulders?

You think it’s ok for anyone to have their behind cheeks hanging out of their clothes at school or anywhere besides the beach for the matter. No one wants to sit where people have their bare behinds on the seat. I bet they won’t even sit on a toilet seat. It’s gross and not appropriate to walk around almost naked in public. It’s just not.

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Anonymous wrote:I don’t think a belly button is sexual. Nor a shoulder. I let my dd wear these things because she’s comfortable in her body and I never was, I’m glad she has that confidence. If another kid gets turned on by her shoulder that’s not something I can control. People have foot fetishes but we all wear sandals and flip flops in the summer.

Ok keep telling yourself this while the boy moms think your daughter looks like a ho.

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Anonymous wrote:Always thought it odd in the USA how dress codes for kids are so strict for regular students, but cheerleaders get to wear super short skirts and do flips showing off their undies and such, and the later is acceptable.

They are doing a sport. Similar to dance. Requires a certain uniform.

Nothing that they do requires bare legs and stomaches does it? They could just as easily wear leggings.

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Anonymous wrote:College prof here and I literally have students wear sports bras as tops to class sometimes. I have students show up for networking events in crop tops. Ones who have been in meetings where we discussed what to wear.

Times are changing.

The thing is, hiring managers are mostly still older and not going to be very open to seeing belly buttons in interviews for a while. Or dirty flashy sneakers with dress pants.

When today's 6th graders are the managers? Who knows. But it's important to understand that that's not where we are today. I bring up the career stuff because I am guessing a lot of the kids who don't dress for the wide-range norms in these scenarios didn't encounter guidance or boundaries around clothing in their early life.

+1 Yes, lots of skin showing in the college classroom nowadays.

unprofessional

Students aren't professionals, they are customers to the college. The professors are the professionals who are paid.

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Anonymous wrote:College prof here and I literally have students wear sports bras as tops to class sometimes. I have students show up for networking events in crop tops. Ones who have been in meetings where we discussed what to wear.

Times are changing.

The thing is, hiring managers are mostly still older and not going to be very open to seeing belly buttons in interviews for a while. Or dirty flashy sneakers with dress pants.

When today's 6th graders are the managers? Who knows. But it's important to understand that that's not where we are today. I bring up the career stuff because I am guessing a lot of the kids who don't dress for the wide-range norms in these scenarios didn't encounter guidance or boundaries around clothing in their early life.

+1 Yes, lots of skin showing in the college classroom nowadays.

unprofessional

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Anonymous wrote:Yes my sixth grader wears such things. Though generally an off the shoulder top would be worn with a tank top under. And no super shirt crop tops but yes her midriff is sometimes exposed an inch or two

I don’t believe in weird policing or over sexualizing of girls bodies.

Exposing midriff not at all sexualizing. Dumb ass.

Are you sure about that? Why do you think they want to show off their stomach?

DP, but seriously? My kid just likes the way something feels or looks. Nothing sexual. I think you have an issue. Kid doesn't like the way longer shirts cover her shorts, doesn't like the way they feel when tucked in. So a cropped top that hits the mid is perfect.

lol. it is sexual. your kids are sexual beings. they have urges. they want sexual attention. they are immature. they equate attention as love. you are the parent and your job is to protect them and teach them to be discerning.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t care what others are doing - not happening with my daughter.

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Anonymous wrote:College prof here and I literally have students wear sports bras as tops to class sometimes. I have students show up for networking events in crop tops. Ones who have been in meetings where we discussed what to wear.

Times are changing.

The thing is, hiring managers are mostly still older and not going to be very open to seeing belly buttons in interviews for a while. Or dirty flashy sneakers with dress pants.

When today's 6th graders are the managers? Who knows. But it's important to understand that that's not where we are today. I bring up the career stuff because I am guessing a lot of the kids who don't dress for the wide-range norms in these scenarios didn't encounter guidance or boundaries around clothing in their early life.

+1 Yes, lots of skin showing in the college classroom nowadays.

Anonymous wrote:College prof here and I literally have students wear sports bras as tops to class sometimes. I have students show up for networking events in crop tops. Ones who have been in meetings where we discussed what to wear.

Times are changing.

The thing is, hiring managers are mostly still older and not going to be very open to seeing belly buttons in interviews for a while. Or dirty flashy sneakers with dress pants.

When today's 6th graders are the managers? Who knows. But it's important to understand that that's not where we are today. I bring up the career stuff because I am guessing a lot of the kids who don't dress for the wide-range norms in these scenarios didn't encounter guidance or boundaries around clothing in their early life.