^also it’s been really fun partying all over with the usual circuit of school friends, especially because we are not good about otherwise planning trips away together etc

I’ve never been invited to what I consider a true destination wedding, though I can think of a few people I went to school with who had them - where the bride picks some European chateau or villa that literally no one has any connection to.

But we’ve been to some far-flung places that attract tourism for their beauty and have felt like destinations to us, but are places the bride/groom/both have a connection to. I think it’s lovely to be welcomed and shown around a hometown/where they live now/the place they fell in love/grew up vacationing and to get to share that experience. You also often experience and learn about the place in a way that you couldn’t as a regular tourist and that’s really special too.

It seems pretty self-centered and “main character syndrome” for someone to dismiss these types of places as “destination weddings” just because it feels that way to them personally. But maybe this way because all of my high school and college friends scattered all over after graduation, so there’s travel required to see them anyway.

Anonymous wrote:For all the “it’s okay to decline” folks….would you be okay if almost everyone declined? It seems like most of these couples think people will be excited to travel to Destination but at least half of the guests are actually really irritated and doing it out of obligation and guilt. If those 5p% of guests declined the invite, would the couples be okay with that?
It just seems like people need to be more honest about how they feel and then maybe this trend would decrease.

Sure, it'dbe fine. We planned a destination wedding in Vegas and expected a steep decline rate just because it would involve a flight - thought we'd have 30-45 guests. We got 90 yeses and had to upgrade our venue but the wedding was a blast and we've had multiple people tell us it was the most fun they've ever had at a wedding (even though we were in our ::gasp:: 30s and several friends had kids).

I don't know how half the people in this thread get an invitation to a destination wedding and think "just say you don't want me there" and the other half think "you'll be furious if anyone declines" and you're all sure you're right. 🤣

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:if you dont want me to come to your wedding, then just say so! lol

my sister is having one. will cost over $20k to fly, get lodging, etc... so, um, no. DH, DS and i will be toasting from afar

just really hurts, i would have loved to have been there

Wow. I'm not saying you are wrong or judging at all, but is your sister ok with this? Everyone always says, "Just don't go," but I have no idea how this plays out in real life.

um, money is a reality in my life. this would cost half our tuition bill. so since she's the one that picked the destination and a hotel that does not allow children, i guess she's ok with her sister, nephew and brother in law not showing up?

SMH really. yeah, its just that easy, i am just not going. heartbroken over it, however

Why not go on your own? If my spouse’s sibling was getting married and we couldn’t afford to all go, I’d send him alone.

Why are some people pressuring this PP to go to a wedding where the bride clearly does not care whether anyone attends? Everyone else is pointing out that this is the basic and fair assumption behind a destination wedding - you are free to decline.

Anonymous wrote:So many angry at destination weddings when weddings in the US are massive ripoffs and price gouges for the couple.

Wedding in the US: $30k blown right off the top for massively subpar frozen Sysco food at a thoroughly mid venue. Then another $10k+ extorted out of the couple for a stupid open bar.

F that. Destination wedding ends up being the same price for far prettier venues and 100x better food. Family and friends who whine can shove it and drink their tears as a martini. The wedding is for the couple, not you. Don't want to go, then don't. Now zip it.

Actually, the marriage is for the couple. The wedding celebration is about the guests and the couple's responsibility is to make the primary focus the comfort and experience of the guests, as it is for any party.

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I feel better knowing so many people hate them. We have a destination wedding of a close family member coming up. Skipping it would have been a horrible look. While I'm looking forward to actually being there, it is costing a fortune and forcing us to cancel our family vacation plans. The destination is expensive, the resort is expensive, the food we get on our own will be expensive, and the dress code requires buying new clothes. It is a massive ask for everyone attending. In this case, the bride's parents (not necessarily the bride herself) were not satisfied with anything local or even within driving distance. I understand that they are paying for the wedding, but it feels like their dream location comes at the guests' expense.

That's obnoxious and I would pass.

Hate them. Entitled couples. Fly off and get married. Leave us out.

Anonymous wrote:So many angry at destination weddings when weddings in the US are massive ripoffs and price gouges for the couple.

Wedding in the US: $30k blown right off the top for massively subpar frozen Sysco food at a thoroughly mid venue. Then another $10k+ extorted out of the couple for a stupid open bar.

F that. Destination wedding ends up being the same price for far prettier venues and 100x better food. Family and friends who whine can shove it and drink their tears as a martini. The wedding is for the couple, not you. Don't want to go, then don't. Now zip it.

Well, that's the price that the bride and groom have chosen for themselves. But destination weddings are asking for serious outlays in money and time for guests. And that's a big ask. I'm not dropping 5 grand and 3 days of my time for anyone unless I absolutely have to. And that would be immediate family and I'd hate them for forcing this BS on people.

I send a gift along with my regrets.

For all the “it’s okay to decline” folks….would you be okay if almost everyone declined? It seems like most of these couples think people will be excited to travel to Destination but at least half of the guests are actually really irritated and doing it out of obligation and guilt. If those 5p% of guests declined the invite, would the couples be okay with that?
It just seems like people need to be more honest about how they feel and then maybe this trend would decrease.

Anonymous wrote:Only acceptable if part of the couple is native to the destination and has most of their family there.

That’s not “destination wedding” then, it’s going back home to future DH’s / DW’s hometown or country to get married.

we are invited to two- one is my nieces so we have to go in Ireland the other is a friends son getting married in Lake Como. We would love to attend both but its so expensive and within 3 months of one another. I think they have really gotten carried away in genera.

Only acceptable if part of the couple is native to the destination and has most of their family there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:if you dont want me to come to your wedding, then just say so! lol

my sister is having one. will cost over $20k to fly, get lodging, etc... so, um, no. DH, DS and i will be toasting from afar

just really hurts, i would have loved to have been there

Wow. I'm not saying you are wrong or judging at all, but is your sister ok with this? Everyone always says, "Just don't go," but I have no idea how this plays out in real life.

um, money is a reality in my life. this would cost half our tuition bill. so since she's the one that picked the destination and a hotel that does not allow children, i guess she's ok with her sister, nephew and brother in law not showing up?

SMH really. yeah, its just that easy, i am just not going. heartbroken over it, however

Why not go on your own? If my spouse’s sibling was getting married and we couldn’t afford to all go, I’d send him alone.

Anonymous wrote:So many angry at destination weddings when weddings in the US are massive ripoffs and price gouges for the couple.

Wedding in the US: $30k blown right off the top for massively subpar frozen Sysco food at a thoroughly mid venue. Then another $10k+ extorted out of the couple for a stupid open bar.

F that. Destination wedding ends up being the same price for far prettier venues and 100x better food. Family and friends who whine can shove it and drink their tears as a martini. The wedding is for the couple, not you. Don't want to go, then don't. Now zip it.

This isn't really true though. If they felt that way they'd elope or get married at the courthouse. Most people invite others bc they actually do want to celebrate with at least some of their family and friends.