Anonymous
Post 04/23/2025 14:45     Subject: Going to orientation alone
Anonymous wrote:
Go with your kid.

I am all for them being an adult however this is a parent child thing. Again what is wrong with you?

Your mother is an adult for god's sake/
Why in the world did you plan this the same time? You knew about this and you made an alternate plan?


This!! You are only a 4 hour drive away. Go and arrange visit with your mom at another time.

However, first check are there parent activities during this orientation? For both of my kids, the answer was yes. So sure not everyone had a parent there, but most did. And heck, my kid met one of their roommates at Orientation (there were 4 sessions) and that kid had a parent there (and that kid is the youngest of 3). So yeah, they may be an adult soon, but I'd go to learn about the university as well
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2025 12:57     Subject: Going to orientation alone
Anonymous wrote:This appears to be a problem only because orientation is separate from move-in. At my son's university, they had a couple of virtual meetings in the summer, and freshman orientation week was right before the start of classes, so freshmen just moved in one week earlier than other undergrads. That way, we only had one trip to make, to help him move his stuff in his dorm.

It seems really dysfunctional of the college to require in-person attendance for a separate orientation in the summer! Perhaps because this a local college and most of their students are from the area? Regardless, it's pretty obnoxious.





Many of the large universities do it this way. Bring groups in all summer long for orientation and registration. There is big picture university stuff as well as intended major advising in smaller groups.

My daughter is a freshman at an SEC school, I'd say parent attendance was 60-70%. Families were welcome to do it either way, and I believe they had an option for kids who would need to stay on campus more than the one night. They also had an August orientation at the time of move in for those who really, really couldn't make something work on one of the 20ish orientations run over the summer.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2025 12:48     Subject: Re:Going to orientation alone
Anonymous wrote:My kid's university does Freshmen orientation the week before classes start. Freshmen move-in a few days earlier than upperclassman and there is a welcome team with all kinds of activities, course selection, advising, picnic, parties, etc.



This is by far- the best way to do it.

I’m guessing larger schools can’t pull this off for a variety of reasons.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2025 12:40     Subject: Going to orientation alone
UMD has two day student orientation dates in June and July.

Day 1 starts early, so if you're coming from further away it makes sense to have a place to stay prior to the first day.

They also have a virtual student orientation if someone can't travel.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2025 11:46     Subject: Re:Going to orientation alone
Anonymous wrote:My kid's university does Freshmen orientation the week before classes start. Freshmen move-in a few days earlier than upperclassman and there is a welcome team with all kinds of activities, course selection, advising, picnic, parties, etc.


That's how many schools do it, and it's a good system. But OP's kid's school is not like that … they have an orientation in the summer beforehand, hence the confusion from LOTS of people on this thread, thinking OP is, like, abandoning their kid, rather than seeing this school's orientation as essentially a one-night summer camp or mini-conference, depending on which mental model works better for you.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2025 11:41     Subject: Re:Going to orientation alone
My kid's university does Freshmen orientation the week before classes start. Freshmen move-in a few days earlier than upperclassman and there is a welcome team with all kinds of activities, course selection, advising, picnic, parties, etc.

Anonymous
Post 04/23/2025 11:31     Subject: Going to orientation alone
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would prioritize my kid over my mother for this.


+1000 I don't understand how this is even a question.


You people are crazy. OP is making a reasonable choice. This is not accepted students day, it is orientation. Land the helicopter.


Were you neglected or did you have an emotionally distant parent?

Taking your child to college orientation is not being a helicopter. It’s what we do. We show up for our kids.

It sounds like you built defense mechanisms for yourself.


No, parents went to most of my events and were present at move-in. Attended multi-day orientation by myself as did most of the other students.

As OP explained non-English speaking mother with health issues arriving from overseas on a pre-planned trip.

Extremely reasonable to have son attend alone. DC does not appear to have an issue with it, so not sure why anyone would.

Anonymous
Post 04/23/2025 11:09     Subject: Going to orientation alone
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would prioritize my kid over my mother for this.


+1000 I don't understand how this is even a question.


You people are crazy. OP is making a reasonable choice. This is not accepted students day, it is orientation. Land the helicopter.


Were you neglected or did you have an emotionally distant parent?

Taking your child to college orientation is not being a helicopter. It’s what we do. We show up for our kids.

It sounds like you built defense mechanisms for yourself.


NP- Do most of us not show up constantly, having done so for 18 years? Do you genuinely think that not going to ONE event (out of the very many linked to college alone!) is not showing up for your kid or equivalent to neglect? You cannot be serious.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2025 11:06     Subject: Going to orientation alone
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would prioritize my kid over my mother for this.


+1000 I don't understand how this is even a question.


You people are crazy. OP is making a reasonable choice. This is not accepted students day, it is orientation. Land the helicopter.


Were you neglected or did you have an emotionally distant parent?

Taking your child to college orientation is not being a helicopter. It’s what we do. We show up for our kids.

It sounds like you built defense mechanisms for yourself.


Go if you want, but it's not neglect to let an adult go to an event by themselves. That's nuts and makes you seem Very Much like a helicopter parent. DP.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2025 11:01     Subject: Going to orientation alone
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would prioritize my kid over my mother for this.


+1000 I don't understand how this is even a question.


You people are crazy. OP is making a reasonable choice. This is not accepted students day, it is orientation. Land the helicopter.


Were you neglected or did you have an emotionally distant parent?

Taking your child to college orientation is not being a helicopter. It’s what we do. We show up for our kids.

It sounds like you built defense mechanisms for yourself.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2025 10:51     Subject: Going to orientation alone
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A lot of the mandatory summer orientation programs have moved to online; is that an option for your kid?

They still have "welcome week" in-person activities just after move-in.


If not, it's fine if they go to the summer orientation solo.

Also, LOL'd at "Will he have someone to sit with at lunch? Attend sessions with, etc etc. I would try to make the event as un-awkward as possible for him." I don't know that there'd be a more awkward way for him to transition to college than for him to have to sit with his mom and grandmom at lunch or in orientation sessions. The discomfort is a part of the process, and is an essential step in their becoming an independent adult.


(I'm the same person who just posted that. Wanted to clarify that that quote was from a different poster, not OP. I think OP is doing just fine.)


Parents are not allowed at any student sessions at our orientation. So the only time you'd have would be lunch and after the sessions are over. And yes, it is awkward no matter what. I don't see how having a parent there is less awkward. The parents of this generation (including myself) have this tendency to insert ourselves in everything out of a mix of guilt/duty and having been neglected ourselves. It's not a good thing. In just a couple months these kids will be alone at college and they will be fine, so they can handle a couple days.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2025 10:41     Subject: Going to orientation alone
Anonymous wrote:A lot of the mandatory summer orientation programs have moved to online; is that an option for your kid?

They still have "welcome week" in-person activities just after move-in.


If not, it's fine if they go to the summer orientation solo.

Also, LOL'd at "Will he have someone to sit with at lunch? Attend sessions with, etc etc. I would try to make the event as un-awkward as possible for him." I don't know that there'd be a more awkward way for him to transition to college than for him to have to sit with his mom and grandmom at lunch or in orientation sessions. The discomfort is a part of the process, and is an essential step in their becoming an independent adult.


(I'm the same person who just posted that. Wanted to clarify that that quote was from a different poster, not OP. I think OP is doing just fine.)
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2025 10:40     Subject: Going to orientation alone
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Bring mom, other parent go, change plans with mom... you take your child.


+100 Choosing to visit with your
Mom over taking your child to admitted student day? Bad parenting decision, OP. Reschedule with Mom!


Right, tell mom to come another time.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2025 10:40     Subject: Going to orientation alone
Anonymous wrote:Do you think it is a big deal? I cannot go as my mom will be in town. Ds signed up to stay in dorm but it is only one night (between day 1 and 2). So since we are a good 4 hours away he will have to drive the evening before and stay at a hotel.


A lot of hotels don't let kids under 21 check in.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2025 10:39     Subject: Going to orientation alone
A lot of the mandatory summer orientation programs have moved to online; is that an option for your kid?

They still have "welcome week" in-person activities just after move-in.


If not, it's fine if they go to the summer orientation solo.

Also, LOL'd at "Will he have someone to sit with at lunch? Attend sessions with, etc etc. I would try to make the event as un-awkward as possible for him." I don't know that there'd be a more awkward way for him to transition to college than for him to have to sit with his mom and grandmom at lunch or in orientation sessions. The discomfort is a part of the process, and is an essential step in their becoming an independent adult.