Anonymous wrote:He sounds like a narcissist.
Anonymous wrote:Yes, I agree, write him a letter of disappointment. He sounds selfish and it’s time someone held him accountable.
Anonymous wrote:My father did this. After being diagnosed with a terminal disease. He was pretty awful in terms of divorce. I would have understood getting divorced as an adult. But he didn't support his children DESPITE making nearly a million a year as a surgeon. He had two more kids who he raised totally different in California (left us behind in Chicago). He didn't go to my or my sister's wedding, never saw his grandchild, and was pretty ridiculously awful. I got something like you OP in the mail, here in DC.
I literally decided to fly to California. I lied and said I was "so moved" by his book to his wife. I went to Huntington Beach and we had dinner and caught up. He was so proud of my accomplishments (I am a physician) and talked about what wonderful children I have and it was a trip down memory lane.
We went to the beach and I basically told him I came for closure. I wanted him to know he's completely utterly full of it, should be in prison for failing to pay child support (he very creatively paid his wife for his work and was "broke" building his business) so my mother couldn't garnish his wages and failed to get a judge to be bothered to look into the BS, and told him I was so excited he was dying. I laughed. I cried. I then said, "I can't wait for you to be dead! Whatever hell there is, I cannot wait for you to go there or experience eternal darkness or just getting eaten by worms!" I then started yelling "worm food" at him pointing and laughing while I walked away.
Yes, it was dumb, petty and ridiculous. But it was closure. I still laugh at it.
What's wild is when he died, my sister and I got HALF HIS ESTATE. As part of the divorce, the sole thing my mother was able to get was half his estate in death. His wife tried suing to fight this, but we got an attorney to enforce it. She had to pay OUR attorney fees. So, thanks for the 3.5 million dollars after taxes, jerk.
Anonymous wrote:why don't you send him your memoir? Write something that describes how his treatment of you, your sister and your mother was the defining moment of your life, the "before and after" moment and how that altered the trajectory of your life. It doesn't have to be long. I think this would be more impactful and would highlight your very different perspective.
Anonymous wrote:My father did this. After being diagnosed with a terminal disease. He was pretty awful in terms of divorce. I would have understood getting divorced as an adult. But he didn't support his children DESPITE making nearly a million a year as a surgeon. He had two more kids who he raised totally different in California (left us behind in Chicago). He didn't go to my or my sister's wedding, never saw his grandchild, and was pretty ridiculously awful. I got something like you OP in the mail, here in DC.
I literally decided to fly to California. I lied and said I was "so moved" by his book to his wife. I went to Huntington Beach and we had dinner and caught up. He was so proud of my accomplishments (I am a physician) and talked about what wonderful children I have and it was a trip down memory lane.
We went to the beach and I basically told him I came for closure. I wanted him to know he's completely utterly full of it, should be in prison for failing to pay child support (he very creatively paid his wife for his work and was "broke" building his business) so my mother couldn't garnish his wages and failed to get a judge to be bothered to look into the BS, and told him I was so excited he was dying. I laughed. I cried. I then said, "I can't wait for you to be dead! Whatever hell there is, I cannot wait for you to go there or experience eternal darkness or just getting eaten by worms!" I then started yelling "worm food" at him pointing and laughing while I walked away.
Yes, it was dumb, petty and ridiculous. But it was closure. I still laugh at it.
What's wild is when he died, my sister and I got HALF HIS ESTATE. As part of the divorce, the sole thing my mother was able to get was half his estate in death. His wife tried suing to fight this, but we got an attorney to enforce it. She had to pay OUR attorney fees. So, thanks for the 3.5 million dollars after taxes, jerk.
Anonymous wrote:OP my mom is similar to this. She didn't have an affair and destroy the family in such a cruel way, but she would have massive mental blow ups all throughout our childhood and always keep us off kilter, and now, in her 80s, likes to talk about what a great job she did raising us. She is the master at rewriting history and it's so unbelievable to hear her take. Literally no basis in reality, with her the hero of every story. Last time I visited I saw a notebook full of stories she's telling about her life, and damn, pure fiction where it comes to our childhood. If I got an actual book on that I would not take it with the grace you're showing.
I'm sorry he did that to you, then and now.