Paternity leave is important too but doesn't equate to first six weeks of maternity leave.

Its a college sport, not life saving surgery for which they couldn't find an alternative surgeon.

This is what happens when society keeps telling women that career comes before their physical and mental health and all other aspects of their lives including their infants.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel bad for the baby.

Why? The baby doesn't know it's mother from Adam's house cat. As long as there is someone to feed, change, and hold it is all the baby cares about.

This is the time to build a bond of trust and babies know voice of their mothers, often fathers too.

Anonymous wrote:https://www.washingtonpost.com/sports/2025/01/27/kim-caldwell-birth-tennessee-basketball-coach/

Curious about what others think about this. While I think that every woman has the right to do what's best for them, I think it's kind of wild that she's returning to work one week after giving birth, especially since being a basketball coach is more physically taxing than your standard desk job. There's always lots of talk about how there's not enough maternity leave/post-natal care in the US, but this is kind of going against that.

That's ludicrous and she is sending a wrong message to her impressionable players.

Anonymous wrote:I feel bad for the baby.

Why? The baby doesn't know it's mother from Adam's house cat. As long as there is someone to feed, change, and hold it is all the baby cares about.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's bad for women. It makes it look like it's easy and now men will expect all women should be back at work with no break. Even 6 weeks is not enough and other countries give women like a year off paid. Maybe she didn't want to lose her job so felt pressured to go back to work early?

Like Kate Middleton coming down the hospital stairs in stilettos and full make up hours after giving birth.

Imagine expecting women to be able to walk after giving birth. Crazy!

I walked to the nursery a few hours after delivery and just about fainted. They had to bring me back to my room in a wheel chair. I was terrified that Kate Middleton was going to drop the baby on the steps. And she must have had industrial sized pads underneath that dress.

Anonymous wrote:We wouldn't even talk, let along have a thread, about a man in her situation.

Her husband is a trailing spouse who likely negotiated for a lot of leave because she came back so soon--he also works for the University athletics department, but he has a lower-visibility (and lower-paying job) than she does. At her last two head coaching jobs, he also had lower-ranking jobs in the athletics department at those schools.

This is incredibly common in the academic world--where one spouse is the leading, superstar spouse career wise and the other spouse is trailing and gets hired by the same schools as part of the package deal. The trailing spouse usually ends up getting a LOT of parental leave and flexibility as part of the package deal as well, which I suspect is what happened here.

OK but he hasn't been through a physical and hormonal marathon for the past 9 months.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Knew a woman who adopted a newborn and went back to her demanding medical job 3 days after bringing the less-than-a-week old baby home.

She has a very, very healthy trust fund, no mortgage, no car payments, etc. and does not need the money.

I didn't understand this. At all.

You don’t understand why wealthy men work?

Why adopt. a baby then? You can't give it a few weeks of attention?

Idk this woman.
My friend found out on a Friday she was adopting a baby on Monday.

She needed to train someone to do her job so worked the 1st month she had the baby.

Which only shows how bad our adoption process is. Why didn't this parent have a plan in place with employer for this scenario?

Studies have already shown there is a primal loss from mother at that age, then the infant gets stuck with a caregiver because it's more important for adoptive mom to train someone rather than provide the infant bonding time for a month.

It’s not on the mom to have a plan, it’s on the company. Mine has SOPs and multiple people can train, so if someone were to get hit by a bus tomorrow, we could onboard and train a new person very quickly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could have probably done this.

It's a 5 hour commitment, and who knows, someone might bring her baby to her in a car to breastfeed halfway through. Or she can pump privately.

Not ideal, certainly not my preference, but it is doable if you had an uncomplicated birth, have someone to watch the baby, get picked up in a car to go and whisked away when it's over, and can use special entrances and exits, etc...

Her husband works at the same place she does and the baby is at work. They set up one of their offices as a nursery.

Nobody’s “bringing the baby in a car”.

Yep--her husband is a classic university trailing spouse if you look at their job history. Not uncommon for trailing spouses to be able to bring the kid to work and have extended leave so the other spouse can shine. Also, once the child is older, big universities have high-quality preschools on campus, and their child might go there for preschool.

Yep. See also Brenda Frese. I am trying to remember if she coached any games after having twins in February (2008). I think so.

My kid went to preschool with them on campus.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel bad for the baby.

The baby has a loving, involved, healthy mother. Nothing to feel bad about, put your empathy to use in places where it will actually matter.

This is a time for mom and baby to bond. She is not poor. She can afford to stay home. It's sad she would prefer to go to work. She will never get this time back.

I'd have enjoyed baby time a lot more if I had breaks from it and more help and sleep.

Going to work is not getting a break and getting more sleep.

In her case it probably is actually. This isn't a traditional job.

Assuming this was her choice and not something she felt compelled to do, I think it’s great. I also think it’s great when mothers stay home for months with their new babies.

Mothers aren’t some monolith. If she decided it was in her best interest to go back to work, and presumably the baby is being cared for by a loving caregiver, why should anyone care?

I see the responses saying that she won’t be able to bond with the baby or the baby will suffer, but I don’t think theres any proof of that.

Anecdotally, DH’s mother was absent for the first two months of his life (she was hospitalized). DH’s dad and grandmother cared for him. DH is a well adjusted adult with a great relationship and attachment to his mother.

When we tell new moms that they MUST stay home, must put aside their careers and interests and must make their own happiness and joy subservient to the baby, I think we risk mothers’ mental health.

Just my two cents.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel bad for the baby.

The baby has a loving, involved, healthy mother. Nothing to feel bad about, put your empathy to use in places where it will actually matter.

This is a time for mom and baby to bond. She is not poor. She can afford to stay home. It's sad she would prefer to go to work. She will never get this time back.

I'd have enjoyed baby time a lot more if I had breaks from it and more help and sleep.

Going to work is not getting a break and getting more sleep.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's bad for women. It makes it look like it's easy and now men will expect all women should be back at work with no break. Even 6 weeks is not enough and other countries give women like a year off paid. Maybe she didn't want to lose her job so felt pressured to go back to work early?

Like Kate Middleton coming down the hospital stairs in stilettos and full make up hours after giving birth.

She had to look great for 60 seconds (with the help of several staff) before going home to relax for months with lots of help. Not the same at all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel bad for the baby.

The baby has a loving, involved, healthy mother. Nothing to feel bad about, put your empathy to use in places where it will actually matter.

This is a time for mom and baby to bond. She is not poor. She can afford to stay home. It's sad she would prefer to go to work. She will never get this time back.

I'd have enjoyed baby time a lot more if I had breaks from it and more help and sleep.