Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The advice I’ve given is to wait until you’ve achieved your educational goals before starting any relationship, that a partner should Support and encourage your goals, and should always make you feel safe and comfortable.
For maintaining a good relationship, communication and respect and honesty. And remember, you can only control yourself. Your partner may flake, no matter what.

Then this morphs into, “Wait until you have some financial stability,” and the goalposts keep moving. Then you end up spending $100,000 on IVF and still can’t get pregnant. There’s a reason that no women until the last 60 years of recorded history waited until their 30s to get in a relationship and start a family, and it’s not just the patriarchy.

This tbh. Don't overinvest in education and career so much that you aren't dating to marry until your 30s or 40s. You just need something to fall back on if worst comes to worst, not making it your whole lifestyle... If you do, men of value will just pick the young college grad with no fertility concerns / debt / therapy baggage, and there will be no getting those misspent years of your youth back. Those years of your life are priceless - invest them well.

Have your education wrapped up by 24 at the latest, but preferably sooner. That gives you just a few years to find a really good man before your options are limited to the bums already warned about ITT.

Your advice is that women should not be doctors or get their phDs? Terrible advice!

Anonymous wrote:The most significant drawback to DCUM is that the women posters focus on evaluating men, and their drawbacks instead of concentrating on themselves when considering relationship issues.

The best advice for a DD is to get to know yourself first and then consider what you want in a spouse. For example, what are you willing to do in a relationship, what type of man to enjoy being with, etc.

If you know yourself, then you can know others. But going into dating with a checklist (e.g., must love cats, must make $___ annually, etc.) is stupid and shortsighted. Unless you want the men you date to see if you "check their boxes" instead of seeing you for who you are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Know mental disorder symptoms and check for them.

Half of Gen Z has (or has had) anxiety or depression. Your DD will have slim pickings!

Acute anxiety or depression is not a mental disorder.

Chronic anxiety or depression is a symptom of an underlying mental disorder, often adhd or asd, which should be treated as well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't. There isn't a damned thing you'll have, with certainty, in a marriage that you can't have in a relationship that isn't government-bound. It's a hell of a lot easier to leave a partner than it is to leave a spouse. Have you own affairs in order such that the "financial incentives" of marriage aren't a draw. No health insurance, cheaper rates, etc. are worth what you may end up going through as a person who needs to ask the government for permission to leave "your person" if/when they stop acting like they're actually your person.

So just don't. Have a life that belongs to you. Get an education, get a job you find meaningful and as satisfying as a job can be, have friends, travel, engage in relationships when you want to and LEAVE THEM when they're no longer aligned with your goals. Never let anyone mistreat you twice (and most people should get cut off after the first round; forgive them and LET THEM GO).

And take your birth control. Never trust that a man is going to have/use a condom.

Uh, if you have children, this is a good thing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The advice I’ve given is to wait until you’ve achieved your educational goals before starting any relationship, that a partner should Support and encourage your goals, and should always make you feel safe and comfortable.
For maintaining a good relationship, communication and respect and honesty. And remember, you can only control yourself. Your partner may flake, no matter what.

Then this morphs into, “Wait until you have some financial stability,” and the goalposts keep moving. Then you end up spending $100,000 on IVF and still can’t get pregnant. There’s a reason that no women until the last 60 years of recorded history waited until their 30s to get in a relationship and start a family, and it’s not just the patriarchy.

This tbh. Don't overinvest in education and career so much that you aren't dating to marry until your 30s or 40s. You just need something to fall back on if worst comes to worst, not making it your whole lifestyle... If you do, men of value will just pick the young college grad with no fertility concerns / debt / therapy baggage, and there will be no getting those misspent years of your youth back. Those years of your life are priceless - invest them well.

Have your education wrapped up by 24 at the latest, but preferably sooner. That gives you just a few years to find a really good man before your options are limited to the bums already warned about ITT.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Know mental disorder symptoms and check for them.

Half of Gen Z has (or has had) anxiety or depression. Your DD will have slim pickings!

Anonymous wrote:Marry a nerd

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Know mental disorder symptoms and check for them.

Half of Gen Z has (or has had) anxiety or depression. Your DD will have slim pickings!

Anonymous wrote:Know mental disorder symptoms and check for them.