Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never wanted to be a SAHM because I saw what happened when my uncle was killed by a drunk driver. The life insurance money wasn't enough and they had to move, my aunt had to get back to work as a nurse.

So you're going to work because your aunt had to work?

Because relying on someone else for income can be unstable. I learned from this lesson to carry enough life insurance to pay for my house of something happened but also to never put myself in a situation where I can't support myself.

I don’t get it. Your aunt didn’t work; then she did work. What did her period of not working have to do with the tragedy of her husband dying unexpectedly and their lives being upended? Do you think if she had worked continuously that whole time Dad dying wouldn’t have had any financial impact to the family?

Yes? It took significant time for her to get back to working at the same level she was before she quit, and in that in between time they lost their house.

Even if she was working as a nurse, her life would been upended and depending on the mortgage, she probably would not have been able to afford the house on her own. She was a nurse so it sounds like she was able to work again. I don’t think this story is as tragic as pp is making it sounds. I’m sure it was difficult to lose the spouse and father.

Anonymous wrote:Stop!

I wanted to be a kangaroo at 5.

KGers say stuff. She'll need a good education regardless. DHs die or divorce all the time. She needs to be able to stand on her own 2 feet.

LOL @ Kangaroo
Thisssss

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never wanted to be a SAHM because I saw what happened when my uncle was killed by a drunk driver. The life insurance money wasn't enough and they had to move, my aunt had to get back to work as a nurse.

So you're going to work because your aunt had to work?

Because relying on someone else for income can be unstable. I learned from this lesson to carry enough life insurance to pay for my house of something happened but also to never put myself in a situation where I can't support myself.

I don’t get it. Your aunt didn’t work; then she did work. What did her period of not working have to do with the tragedy of her husband dying unexpectedly and their lives being upended? Do you think if she had worked continuously that whole time Dad dying wouldn’t have had any financial impact to the family?

Yes? It took significant time for her to get back to working at the same level she was before she quit, and in that in between time they lost their house.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never wanted to be a SAHM because I saw what happened when my uncle was killed by a drunk driver. The life insurance money wasn't enough and they had to move, my aunt had to get back to work as a nurse.

So you're going to work because your aunt had to work?

Because relying on someone else for income can be unstable. I learned from this lesson to carry enough life insurance to pay for my house of something happened but also to never put myself in a situation where I can't support myself.

I don’t get it. Your aunt didn’t work; then she did work. What did her period of not working have to do with the tragedy of her husband dying unexpectedly and their lives being upended? Do you think if she had worked continuously that whole time Dad dying wouldn’t have had any financial impact to the family?

When I was in HS I started thinking about how I might have a career that accommodated working at home so I could better balance work/kids. Early in my career I watched some co-workers who seemed miserable managing work + babies and that made me think that I'd want to be at home for the first three years. I also paid a lot of attention to the vendors/freelancers we worked with who seemed to have figured out how to WAH.

Ultimately, I did SAH with my kids until the youngest was in kinder. And did occasional freelance work throughout that time. When I returned to work FT it was with flexible hours and one WAH day per week (post covid I'm 80% WAH). And, when the kids got to MS, DH pivoted to WAH full time so somebody would be around every day after school.

I wouldn't give any career advice to a 5 year old who is likely to cycle through many ideas over the years. But with older kids I would emphasize that it is smart to think about different options within your career.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never wanted to be a SAHM because I saw what happened when my uncle was killed by a drunk driver. The life insurance money wasn't enough and they had to move, my aunt had to get back to work as a nurse.

So you're going to work because your aunt had to work?

Because relying on someone else for income can be unstable. I learned from this lesson to carry enough life insurance to pay for my house of something happened but also to never put myself in a situation where I can't support myself.

Was your aunt actually in a position where she couldn't support herself? Sounds like her circumstances changed tragically, and she adapted and supported her family.

Relying on yourself for income can also be unstable, like when you lose your job or become disabled. Life changes. Prepare to adapt.

They lost their house, my cousins lost their Dad then lost their home. My family was able to take them in but no one could afford their mortgage. It took time for my aunt to get her nursing license reactivated

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never wanted to be a SAHM because I saw what happened when my uncle was killed by a drunk driver. The life insurance money wasn't enough and they had to move, my aunt had to get back to work as a nurse.

So you're going to work because your aunt had to work?

Because relying on someone else for income can be unstable. I learned from this lesson to carry enough life insurance to pay for my house of something happened but also to never put myself in a situation where I can't support myself.

Was your aunt actually in a position where she couldn't support herself? Sounds like her circumstances changed tragically, and she adapted and supported her family.

Relying on yourself for income can also be unstable, like when you lose your job or become disabled. Life changes. Prepare to adapt.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're pleased with this? Why?

OP here. I meant to say that I'd be satisfied with almost any path she chooses.

Problem with this path is that she needs to find someone who will support and take care of her as an adult and never change their mind. That’s a tough life.

Lol no. Preface that I’m a working mom but staying at home is the path that nearly every woman a couple of generations ago chose and there’s never been an unhappier generation than ours. Working is not the key to happiness.

Some chose to SAH; some didn't want to, but had no choice in some social circles/working situations; just as some people had no choice but to work to survive, whether they want to work or not.

The key to happiness is not in either working or staying at home -- happy and unhappy people have done both forever (even in your white upper middle class 1950s suburbs).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never wanted to be a SAHM because I saw what happened when my uncle was killed by a drunk driver. The life insurance money wasn't enough and they had to move, my aunt had to get back to work as a nurse.

So you're going to work because your aunt had to work?

Because relying on someone else for income can be unstable. I learned from this lesson to carry enough life insurance to pay for my house of something happened but also to never put myself in a situation where I can't support myself.

I stay home because my husband has a very demanding and high paying job. It was hard for both of us to have big jobs. I would continue to work if he didn’t earn a seven figure income. Even if he earned 500 or 600, I would probably still be working.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never wanted to be a SAHM because I saw what happened when my uncle was killed by a drunk driver. The life insurance money wasn't enough and they had to move, my aunt had to get back to work as a nurse.

So you're going to work because your aunt had to work?

Because relying on someone else for income can be unstable. I learned from this lesson to carry enough life insurance to pay for my house of something happened but also to never put myself in a situation where I can't support myself.

I knew when our first born was 4 months old. It came as a total shock to me, but no regrets. Best choice we ever made.

Sometimes, you never know until reality is upon you. Plan for anything. Work and save like crazy, and set up insurance accordingly, before the choice is upon you, if you have the good fortune to have this choice at all. You may surprise yourself in either direction.

She's 5!!!

Anonymous wrote:I never wanted to be a SAHM because I saw what happened when my uncle was killed by a drunk driver. The life insurance money wasn't enough and they had to move, my aunt had to get back to work as a nurse.

So you're going to work because your aunt had to work?

Anonymous wrote:Did she actually say the words "stay at home mom"?

Around that age, my son said he wanted to grow up to be a dad who takes care of kids. His classmate had a SAHD.

Anonymous wrote:Why would you be happy? At 5 she already has no ambition or drive? Is she not going to bother in school or go to college because she just wants to start popping out kids? Yikes.

Make sure your kids know that they are not and never will be enough for you and that taking care of them and spending your time with them is a waste of your life. Caregivers are effing losers and should be looked down upon by society (unless of course they’re being paid to provide care to strangers- then it’s an important job).