I would not travel 30 hours and then another 5 hours to get to the destination unless I would be there at least 2.5 or 3 weeks. Presumably it’s the same coming back. I think this is unreasonable and grounds to back out.

If it’s South Africa - United has a direct flight from Dulles so you don’t have to go through Europe.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL, this OP is hilarious! "less than accommodations" ROFLMAO!!!

Glad my travel discomfort is amusing.

I’m almost 50, not 20 trying to backpack through Europe.

Where are you going and what are the accommodations? If you are travelling to a place that is 30 hours of travel time away (rare these days), I assume you are staying for awhile. Were you really planning on paying 1-2K a night for every night of hte entire trip? It seems you have a lot of disposable income. Likely in the same accommodations or close by, you can find yourself something more luxurious and still join the group for meals and activities.

I do have a high travel budget. I understand how that can come off like I’m a diva on the internet. I’m just a middle aged woman who likes to be comfortable when I travel. This is a once in a lifetime type of trip and I was envisioning something luxurious. I am still going to go.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL, this OP is hilarious! "less than accommodations" ROFLMAO!!!

Glad my travel discomfort is amusing.

I’m almost 50, not 20 trying to backpack through Europe.

Where are you going and what are the accommodations? If you are travelling to a place that is 30 hours of travel time away (rare these days), I assume you are staying for awhile. Were you really planning on paying 1-2K a night for every night of hte entire trip? It seems you have a lot of disposable income. Likely in the same accommodations or close by, you can find yourself something more luxurious and still join the group for meals and activities.

Anonymous wrote:LOL, this OP is hilarious! "less than accommodations" ROFLMAO!!!

Glad my travel discomfort is amusing.

I’m almost 50, not 20 trying to backpack through Europe.

LOL, this OP is hilarious! "less than accommodations" ROFLMAO!!!

You had one vision for this trip. Your friend has a different vision. If you still want to go on the trip, then you have to suck it up and comply with your friend’s vision for the trip. It sounds like she thinks a group will be more fun than just the two of you. For some people, milestone birthdays are best celebrated with a festive group rather than a more intimate friend getaway.

If you are now saying that you really thought of it as a joint birthday trip for your birthday as well as hers, that’s different. But you still can’t really get out of having the other people come along. You’ll have to stay in a cheaper place that works for the whole group.

Sorry the trip isn’t going to be what you wanted. Hopefully you will still enjoy yourself!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You lost this troll attempt at 2k per night room. $500 maybe, but only an idiot would spend 2k. If you indeed can afford 2k then you can also afford to pay for a travel planner or rent a house. But you’ll still be in mom’s basement dreaming about your wild African Safari in your 2k room on your birthday that you planned for your fake friend.

Have you looked at any hotels in any decent area for winter break, spring break or summer post covid? I was just talking to friends about how a Fairfax inn in nyc costs $800. Ocean city MD will cost you $500. What kind of hotel costs only $500. Inflation is probably highest for high demand travel.

You couldn’t pay me enough to visit NYC or Ocean City. Much better places around, and cheaper too.

I don’t go to OC either. I’m just saying that is the going rate. I have heard other people talking about it in the past complaining.

On our last European trip, we had to get two rooms for our family and each room cost over 2k. With fees, we paid $5k per night for our family.

Our friend recently went to the same country and told DH that they squeezed their family in one room because the hotel room cost over 2k.

2k isn’t as much as it sounds these days when you are traveling to high in demand places. We always pay that for any trip.

Not sure what high demand places means but post Covid I have traveled to Paris, Vienna, Salzburg, Athens, Amsterdam, London, and Barcelona and I don’t know what the hell you are talking about.

Oh, and Tokyo and Kyoto.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You lost this troll attempt at 2k per night room. $500 maybe, but only an idiot would spend 2k. If you indeed can afford 2k then you can also afford to pay for a travel planner or rent a house. But you’ll still be in mom’s basement dreaming about your wild African Safari in your 2k room on your birthday that you planned for your fake friend.

Have you looked at any hotels in any decent area for winter break, spring break or summer post covid? I was just talking to friends about how a Fairfax inn in nyc costs $800. Ocean city MD will cost you $500. What kind of hotel costs only $500. Inflation is probably highest for high demand travel.

You couldn’t pay me enough to visit NYC or Ocean City. Much better places around, and cheaper too.

I don’t go to OC either. I’m just saying that is the going rate. I have heard other people talking about it in the past complaining.

On our last European trip, we had to get two rooms for our family and each room cost over 2k. With fees, we paid $5k per night for our family.

Our friend recently went to the same country and told DH that they squeezed their family in one room because the hotel room cost over 2k.

2k isn’t as much as it sounds these days when you are traveling to high in demand places. We always pay that for any trip.

Not sure what high demand places means but post Covid I have traveled to Paris, Vienna, Salzburg, Athens, Amsterdam, London, and Barcelona and I don’t know what the hell you are talking about.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel for OP. A lot of ppl have a visceral reaction to the 2000/nite hotel room snob, but in all fairness at 50 it's not totally outlandish.

This trip is spiraling out of OP's control. Heck even the birthday gal is losing steam. I think the best thing to do is for the birthday girl is set dates that work best for her and go from there. Decision by committee is a very long and miserable process. Someone has to take the lead and in this case it has to be the birthday girl.

The problem is that these other people are also turning 50 so it is also their birthday, not just my friend. Ugh. What a mess.

That still doesn't make it right that she invited other people. If this was a trip planned for just a few of you, it was wrong of her to invite other people without asking you.

Also is there clear communication as to who is paying for what?

OP here. We now have dates but I am hating this itinerary. It is going to take 30 hours to get to this country and they want to travel another 5 hours as soon as we get there. Then we have to stay in less than accommodations. I have given my input and been overridden regarding jet lag and travel time. I’m told I can sleep on the plane so I should be fine once I land.

I went from excited to now dreading this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not your birthday, it's hers. Stop making it about you. I'm sure you can slum it for a couple of days so your friend can have the people she wants there.

+1 It's not your birthday. Get over it.

Reread the posts. She said it's actually a trip to celebrate both their birthdays.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel for OP. A lot of ppl have a visceral reaction to the 2000/nite hotel room snob, but in all fairness at 50 it's not totally outlandish.

This trip is spiraling out of OP's control. Heck even the birthday gal is losing steam. I think the best thing to do is for the birthday girl is set dates that work best for her and go from there. Decision by committee is a very long and miserable process. Someone has to take the lead and in this case it has to be the birthday girl.

The problem is that these other people are also turning 50 so it is also their birthday, not just my friend. Ugh. What a mess.

That still doesn't make it right that she invited other people. If this was a trip planned for just a few of you, it was wrong of her to invite other people without asking you.

Also is there clear communication as to who is paying for what?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is okay to want a trip with just your friend and to be willing to pay for that trip. You do not need to participate in that other birthday trip. You can also do both. But they are not the same trip. Better to distinguish them in your mind.

The other trip could be really fun but will definitely be more unweildy. You may be the one person who is only close with the birthday friend. That can be fun or not depending on the other friends. You know yourself. Decide what you are up for.

My friend is newly divorced and this is her 50th birthday. She has not done anything for herself for a long time and this trip was planned with my urging (and offering to pay).

Everyone lives in a different city or country. Everyone has a different budget and preference. Now people are adding work conflicts and kid birthdays. I am beginning to think this trip isn’t even going to happen. I have just been quiet.

Does your friend even want this trip? If it was planned only at your “urging” and also offering to pay? And now she’s hemming and hawing about doing something different? I think it’s fine to back out of the large group trip with people you don’t know - or let them muddle around planning it and then attend once it’s planned- and still offer to take your friend away for a night separately. But to be honest it doesn’t sound like your friend really wants that. You’ve been trying to urge and convince her to stay at a fancy hotel with you, on your dime, for 2 years or something?? I don’t think she wants to do it.

She does want to go on the trip.

We talked about a trip with the kids. We talked about domestic and international trips. I asked her what SHE wanted to do for her own birthday and she chose this trip, the same trip we talked about before she was divorced. I think she is losing steam with all the different people. I’m not leading so she may be thinking about costs.

And while it isn’t MY milestone birthday, the trip falls closer to my birthday than hers.

Ok, now you just sound like a diva.

How am i a diva for having a birthday closest to the actual trip? And for the record, the friend and sister chose the month, not me. The sister is more the driver. Her kids are on a different school schedule.

The fact that you felt the need to point out that your birthday is closest to the actual trip makes you sound like a diva. People were telling you the trip is for her birthday, not yours, and your response is to say "but my birthday is closer!" You sound like a child.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You lost this troll attempt at 2k per night room. $500 maybe, but only an idiot would spend 2k. If you indeed can afford 2k then you can also afford to pay for a travel planner or rent a house. But you’ll still be in mom’s basement dreaming about your wild African Safari in your 2k room on your birthday that you planned for your fake friend.

Have you looked at any hotels in any decent area for winter break, spring break or summer post covid? I was just talking to friends about how a Fairfax inn in nyc costs $800. Ocean city MD will cost you $500. What kind of hotel costs only $500. Inflation is probably highest for high demand travel.

You couldn’t pay me enough to visit NYC or Ocean City. Much better places around, and cheaper too.

I don’t go to OC either. I’m just saying that is the going rate. I have heard other people talking about it in the past complaining.

On our last European trip, we had to get two rooms for our family and each room cost over 2k. With fees, we paid $5k per night for our family.

Our friend recently went to the same country and told DH that they squeezed their family in one room because the hotel room cost over 2k.

2k isn’t as much as it sounds these days when you are traveling to high in demand places. We always pay that for any trip.

You got fleeced

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean I think if you are planning a trip for a group of people and your friend wants those people there than the price should be something everyone can afford.

The trip is one we have spoken about for 2 years. Other people were never mentioned, just her sister joining.

She asked if she could invite other people. You said yes. So.