Anonymous wrote:Inheritance is not considered community property in Virginia or most other states.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:



OP said pages ago that he AND his wife have owned the beach house for 4 years. The BIL is not the legal owner. OP is, and his wife, jointly.

Learn to read.

If you read and used critical thinking skills, you would understand that you are assuming. You might be assuming correctly, but when asked who is on the deed he just replied with they own the house. Clearly they paid a settlement meant to make them the owners, but did they carry through with documentation. People are just trying to make sure all nuances of BIL seemingly crazy claims are indeed crazy.

Anonymous wrote:If the girlfriend is from there why doesn't she offer one of her relative's houses to a group of frat boys she's never met for the summer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have eerily similar situation - one family member took a vacation house in exchange for less cash and now faces requests from the other family members to use it. Here were some helpful rules that kept the peace:

a) nobody gets to stay longer than a week
b) free stays are for immediate family only - friends of friends are not included (or in this case- the friends of a son of a girlfriend)
c) don’t ask for holidays or peak weeks - the new owner has dibs on those and shouldn’t be put in uncomfortable situation.
d) anyone can feel free to inquire about market rate rents which will be considered on a case by case basis.

What’s interesting is probably was not a free for all with the prior owner. The people I know with beach houses might invite family to visit and stay with them as a mini vacation and as a way to spend time together. Other than that the expectation is that it’s primarily available for their own use or available to rent out if they so choose. “Free stays” without the beach owner there was more like a gift - like if someone was getting married offering them the lake house for their week and was in no way an expectation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who owns the beach house?

OP here. My wife and I own the house and have for 4 years. We pay the taxes, the insane insurance, and I alone handle all of the repairs of which there is plenty. The upkeep runs about 10 grand a year minimum and I easily spend a week's labor dealing with the petty stuff like plumbing leaks, rotted deck board, replacing shingles, grading the drive, dock repairs, etc. As anyone who owns a beach house will tell you- the upkeep is constant. Salt water and wind destroy most things.

Who owns this house on paper? Was there an actual transaction recorded whereby he transferred his interest in the property to you and your wife? If not, then you need to consult a lawyer and work this out before you try to deny him physical access to the house.

From OP's description, he never had an interest. There were three properties in the estate. Two were sold. When the proceeds were split, the brother received $400k more instead of a half share of the beach house, which then passed from the estate to OP's wife (and then to OP jointly). There is no need to make this complicated at all.

It was left to him in the will, so he had an interest. It's unclear from OP's explanation whether the arrangement was anything beyond an agreement. The law is what might make it complicated.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife's father died four years ago, her mother died 6 months later. The estate was large and included a big house in upper NW, a simple beach house in NC and a 2 bed Co-Op in Grammercy Park.

She has a brother (childless) living in Seattle. We are here in DC and have 3 kids. Neither my wife nor her brother wanted the NY apartment or the DC house. We wanted the NC beach house. He didn't, despite spending many summers there as a boy.

He was fine to have the proceeds of the sale of the other two properties distributed accordingly so we could have the beach house. Basically, we took ~$400,000 less than he did during the sales and called the beach house ours. Everyone was happy.

Now, he is dating a woman that is, ironically, from eastern NC; although, she lives in Seattle. She has a 20 yo son from a previous marriage living in NC. Long story short- my BIL has offered this kid and his frat brothers our beach house for the summer. We have never even met him. I told him no before I even spoke with my wife. Later, when I told my wife, she elevated it to a "hell no".

Now he's fuming and accusing us of 'taking' his 'childhood beach house'

How do you even begin to address an asshat like this?

OP, is there any possibility that the adopted son works in the intelligence community (IC) and needs to use said beach house as a surveillance point/dead drop for a particular investigation or ongoing situation? BIL may be trying to acquire use of the house on these friendly terms so that IC personnel can get “eyes on” target(s) without attracting attention. If so please consider your nation, This America, and take the high road. TIA

Anonymous wrote:I have multiple family members with beach houses. None of them would let their own sons party there alone with friends. One offered it to her future daughter in law for her bachelorette party but did NOT let her own son have his bachelor's party there!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who owns the beach house?

OP here. My wife and I own the house and have for 4 years. We pay the taxes, the insane insurance, and I alone handle all of the repairs of which there is plenty. The upkeep runs about 10 grand a year minimum and I easily spend a week's labor dealing with the petty stuff like plumbing leaks, rotted deck board, replacing shingles, grading the drive, dock repairs, etc. As anyone who owns a beach house will tell you- the upkeep is constant. Salt water and wind destroy most things.

Who owns this house on paper? Was there an actual transaction recorded whereby he transferred his interest in the property to you and your wife? If not, then you need to consult a lawyer and work this out before you try to deny him physical access to the house.

From OP's description, he never had an interest. There were three properties in the estate. Two were sold. When the proceeds were split, the brother received $400k more instead of a half share of the beach house, which then passed from the estate to OP's wife (and then to OP jointly). There is no need to make this complicated at all.

Anonymous wrote:I have eerily similar situation - one family member took a vacation house in exchange for less cash and now faces requests from the other family members to use it. Here were some helpful rules that kept the peace:

a) nobody gets to stay longer than a week
b) free stays are for immediate family only - friends of friends are not included (or in this case- the friends of a son of a girlfriend)
c) don’t ask for holidays or peak weeks - the new owner has dibs on those and shouldn’t be put in uncomfortable situation.
d) anyone can feel free to inquire about market rate rents which will be considered on a case by case basis.

Anonymous wrote:I am amazed that more people don't lie to relatives. I would have said absolutely not because we are selling the house this spring.

Then spring comes and you say you found out repairs need to be done so you are hiring someone this summer or you are doing the work this summer.

I would in all seriousness consider selling. It never really works out one sibling or family member keeping a beach house. It ALWAYS leads to some type of resentment from the relatives who don't own the house, but in the past had free rein of going to the beach house and staying. And it sound like a money pit. For all the money you spend you can just rent out a much nicer house.