Anonymous
01/07/2025 12:36
Subject: Confession - I never had an issue with alcohol before I had kids
The mind is a powerful thing, OP.
I noticed in my 20s that when I drank, I become an angry drunk, which I didn't like. So I associated drinking with something i didn't like, so it was easy to stop.
I associated drinking herbal tea with destressing/relaxation, so now when I need to destress, I reach for herbal tea instead of alcohol. It's the same drinking action, but it doesn't leave me angry and drunk.
I noticed in my 20s that when I drank, I become an angry drunk, which I didn't like. So I associated drinking with something i didn't like, so it was easy to stop.
I associated drinking herbal tea with destressing/relaxation, so now when I need to destress, I reach for herbal tea instead of alcohol. It's the same drinking action, but it doesn't leave me angry and drunk.
Anonymous
01/07/2025 12:30
Subject: Confession - I never had an issue with alcohol before I had kids
I never had an issue with____ before kids could be filled in with any number of things…
Spouse
Weight gain
Work performance
Friendships
Eating healthy
Yelling
Losing my temper
Etc etc
It’s the gauntlet, op, it puts everything to a stress test. It’s a damn hard job and very few people respect that.
Spouse
Weight gain
Work performance
Friendships
Eating healthy
Yelling
Losing my temper
Etc etc
It’s the gauntlet, op, it puts everything to a stress test. It’s a damn hard job and very few people respect that.
Anonymous
01/07/2025 11:29
Subject: Confession - I never had an issue with alcohol before I had kids
Absolutely. My kids trigger TF out of me and I can tell I pour myself a drink while making dinner to calm down. I know it doesn’t help overall, but it’s now how I self medicate. That said, I’m doing dry January and hopefully it will just stick.
Anonymous
01/07/2025 11:23
Subject: Confession - I never had an issue with alcohol before I had kids
Because of a medication I’m on for life, my rheumatologist told me to limit alcohol to 2 drinks a week. I’m a very minimal drinker anyway, but I still thought at the time that 2/week sounded insanely restrictive (even though I’m likely to stick to it anyway). Now, im happy that the rest of the population is being given the same advice.
Anonymous
01/05/2025 09:40
Subject: Confession - I never had an issue with alcohol before I had kids
Anonymous wrote:Same, but for me it’s for different reasons:
1. Boredom. Before kids I was always doing something - going to yoga class, shopping, spending time with friends, dating, etc. Now most of my time is spent at home or doing kid stuff which is honestly pretty boring. So if I have to spend a weekend day at soccer practice bored, I’ll bring alone wine to entertain myself. Or if I’m sitting at home just doing bedtime routines.
2. A massive reason I didn’t drink before kids is I took a lot of pride in my body. So I didn’t eat junk and didn’t drink, hit the gym every single day, ate very clean. Now, there’s the toll pregnancy took on my body, I look old, I don’t have time to hit the gym nearly as much, I can’t feed kids plain chicken breast and broccoli every night. So there’s a lot of “what’s the use?” I’m never going to be hot again, so who cares if I have a few extra pounds from booze or brownies.
It is time you started trying to love yourself.
Anonymous
01/05/2025 08:45
Subject: Confession - I never had an issue with alcohol before I had kids
Anonymous wrote:OP - having a glass of wine every night is not self care. Finding yourself a therapist and finding other ways to cope with your stress is self care. Try meditation, exercise, yoga. Try hiring out some of the work you have to do at home. You're in New York, you can find someone to do anything for you in NY - wash your dishes, do your laundry, change your sheets, make your kids dinner, literally anything if you throw money at it. Do you what you have to do for your health.
Op - I have a therapist and I work out every morning for 45 mins.
Most cleaners in nyc cost at least $300 to come out. My babysitter charges $30 an hour. These decisions are not so easy even for high earners. Not that you’re wrong but is worth pointing out
Anonymous
01/05/2025 08:45
Subject: Confession - I never had an issue with alcohol before I had kids
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don’t get it. Doesn’t alcohol make your life MORE stressful? I don’t quite buy your story.
How would alcohol make her life more stressful? That makes no sense.
1. It costs money.
2. It is bad for your health.
3. It takes away time from other things you can be doing to make your life less stressful, such as catching up on sleep or getting ahead on a work project. My drug of choice is TV but I do recognize it makes my life more stressful in this way.
4. For many people, it has a depressing effect.
It also makes you checked out from your kids. Having the drink is the priority vs. caring for your kids. My Dad was an alcoholic.
how is op having one glass of wine after her kids are asleep 'checked out from her kids' and 'making the drink a priority vs them'? did you read the post?
Np, I find that I am much more patient with and attentive to my children after a glass of wine. It enables me to better tune out everything else going on and just focus on them.
Anonymous
01/05/2025 08:41
Subject: Confession - I never had an issue with alcohol before I had kids
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don’t get it. Doesn’t alcohol make your life MORE stressful? I don’t quite buy your story.
How would alcohol make her life more stressful? That makes no sense.
Being hungover the next day would be a pretty big problem. How do you deal with your kids like that?
One glass of wine gives very few people a hangover.
Even 1 glass of wine negatively affects my sleep
Anonymous
01/05/2025 00:58
Subject: Confession - I never had an issue with alcohol before I had kids
Same, but for me it’s for different reasons:
1. Boredom. Before kids I was always doing something - going to yoga class, shopping, spending time with friends, dating, etc. Now most of my time is spent at home or doing kid stuff which is honestly pretty boring. So if I have to spend a weekend day at soccer practice bored, I’ll bring alone wine to entertain myself. Or if I’m sitting at home just doing bedtime routines.
2. A massive reason I didn’t drink before kids is I took a lot of pride in my body. So I didn’t eat junk and didn’t drink, hit the gym every single day, ate very clean. Now, there’s the toll pregnancy took on my body, I look old, I don’t have time to hit the gym nearly as much, I can’t feed kids plain chicken breast and broccoli every night. So there’s a lot of “what’s the use?” I’m never going to be hot again, so who cares if I have a few extra pounds from booze or brownies.
1. Boredom. Before kids I was always doing something - going to yoga class, shopping, spending time with friends, dating, etc. Now most of my time is spent at home or doing kid stuff which is honestly pretty boring. So if I have to spend a weekend day at soccer practice bored, I’ll bring alone wine to entertain myself. Or if I’m sitting at home just doing bedtime routines.
2. A massive reason I didn’t drink before kids is I took a lot of pride in my body. So I didn’t eat junk and didn’t drink, hit the gym every single day, ate very clean. Now, there’s the toll pregnancy took on my body, I look old, I don’t have time to hit the gym nearly as much, I can’t feed kids plain chicken breast and broccoli every night. So there’s a lot of “what’s the use?” I’m never going to be hot again, so who cares if I have a few extra pounds from booze or brownies.
Anonymous
01/05/2025 00:39
Subject: Confession - I never had an issue with alcohol before I had kids
OP - having a glass of wine every night is not self care. Finding yourself a therapist and finding other ways to cope with your stress is self care. Try meditation, exercise, yoga. Try hiring out some of the work you have to do at home. You're in New York, you can find someone to do anything for you in NY - wash your dishes, do your laundry, change your sheets, make your kids dinner, literally anything if you throw money at it. Do you what you have to do for your health.